Suzanna looked up apprehensively. Her pupils dilated, her palms went damp, and her knees weak. She couldn't tell what he had in mind. She could only hope…. And if he did what she hoped he'd do, how should she handle it?
He swiveled her chair to face him and taking her hands pulled her to her feet, placing her arms around his waist. Then he took her in his arms, holding her so close that she was aware of every contour of his body.
"Suzanna," he declared gruffly, "you've said you wouldn't hold me to my promise. That's a 'come-on' if I ever heard one. I don't know what's happening to me, or what you're doing to me, but I can't keep my mind, my eyes or my hands off you. You ooze sex from every pore. How, I don't know. Yet despite it all, I think you're very innocent. So before this thing goes any further between us, I need the truth, Suzanna, Have you ever known a man--and I do mean in the Biblical sense?"
Suzanna lowered her eyes and shook her head in an embarrassed negative.
"Look at me, Suzanna," he commanded.
She did so. Immediately, his lips came down on hers. Her eyes closed in ecstasy as she felt his mouth open and his thrusting tongue part her lips to enter her eager mouth.
She couldn't control her reaction, nor did she want to. Her own tongue started to dart and thrust as avidly as his. Their mouths opened wider as if to devour one another. Her hands began caressing his back, then slid to his buttocks, where she held him in a desperate clasp as she pressed her body against his. She felt him grow hard, then pull his hips away from her as he fought for control.
With a muffled groan, he released her and gently removed her hands, holding her at arm's length.
"Why, Suzanna? Why me? And why now? I feel that I could take you right her and right now. That you'd let me. It isn't in you to tease. But after saving your virginity for how many years, why the sudden change? Forgive me, but even though you're no beauty, you try to make yourself plainer than you are. Did you think I wouldn't notice?"
Tears came to her eyes as she nodded her head in affirmation.
"Yes. I didn't think you'd notice because I didn't think you'd really look at me."
He shook his head. "You underestimate yourself. Here and now, I want you more than I've ever wanted any woman in all my life. But I refuse to take you lightly, as if you were a one-night stand, or anything that you've prized so highly."
Suzanna sniffled. "I wasn't preserving anything, Quentin. It's just that until now the whole idea of sex frightened and disgusted me. You're the first man I've ever allowed to get close to me. I've been seeing one man for years, and he's never even kissed me the way you have. I wanted to be like my other friends, normal, happy, but I couldn't."
"Again, why me?" he asked, stroking her back tenderly. "What's made me different?"
"I don't know. Maybe it was because you were attracted to me when I looked my worst. You weren't after my body."
Quentin's eyebrows shot up. "You mean other men were?" He sounded completely incredulous.
"All the time. That's really the big reason why I quit all those other jobs. You're right, I am a fraud."
Quentin whistled. "There definitely must be more there than meets the eye," he said thoughtfully as he tried to discern her figure under all the concealing fabric.
"But we'll go into that at another time. Right now, I think you'd better talk. Come on. You sit down on the couch. I'll bring my chair over. I don't trust myself on the same couch with you. And I trust you even less," he said sternly.
When they were both seated again at a safe distance from one another, he asked, "Now tell me, Suzanna, who or what turned a sensual creature like you off sex?"
"This will be difficult," began Suzanna, reclining against the cushions and trying to relax. "I've never discussed it. My best friends know only that there was some unpleasantness in my childhood, but I've never before told anyone the whole story."
"That's probably part of your problem," Quentin said wisely. "If you had talked it all out, you might have been freed of your problem years ago."
"It's not much of a story. When I was very small, my mother and her sister, my aunt, went shopping, first putting me to bed for a nap. They left my uncle to mind me. When I awoke from my nap, I felt something strange under my hand. I sat up in bed wondering where I was, then I looked to see where my hand had been. Asleep next to me on the bed was my uncle, completely naked.
"I had never seen a naked body other than my own before. I was terrified without even knowing why. I just seemed to know that I couldn't make a sound and that I'd be all right as long as he stayed asleep. The bed was against the wall, and he was barring my way on the outside. As stealthily as possible I crept toward the foot of the bed.
"It was brass, I still remember, and looked as high as a mountain to me. But I managed to get my leg over it and hanging on with both hands, I threw my other leg over, then climbed down on the cross bars. I stole out of the room and searched the house for my mother, crying quietly to myself. Of course, they hadn't returned. I remember putting my arms up on the kitchen table, putting my face against them to stifle my sobs and willing him not to wake up. He didn't. I was still sobbing when they came home and asked why I was crying.
"I just pointed to the bedroom. The last thing I remember is both of them going in, and nothing more but my mother saying, 'Don't tell Daddy.'
"She never mentioned the incident again, and of course I wouldn't either. Perhaps she thought I'd forget. But I didn't, and because she never talked about it I suppose I felt I had somehow been to blame. I wasn't much more than two years old."
"You poor baby!" he exclaimed. "No wonder you were traumatized. He must have been a real sicko."
"Yes, I suppose so, although he couldn't have touched me or I'm sure I'd have awakened. But he must have put my hand where I found it. I don't remember ever seeing him again. My aunt divorced him a couple of months later."
"Subconsciously, you must have begun to realize that nothing really happened to you. In these days of 'kiddie porn' when you can't pick up a paper without reading about some atrocity on mere babies, often by kids hardly more than babies themselves, you have to know that you were in no way responsible."
She nodded. "I know that now. But one side effect was that I had no curiosity about the opposite sex. While my little friends were playing doctor and nurse, I was home playing with my dolls. I had found out that every game with little boys wound up with, 'You show me yours and I'll show you mine.' I'd say, 'No thank you. I already saw one.'"
Quentin laughed ruefully. "I must remember never to use that approach with you."
"I know you think that it's all in my mind, the thing about members of the male sex of whatever age seeming to feel that I'd welcome their advances. That's why I tried to make myself un-sexy."
"I believe you, Suzanna, my sweet, because I fell victim to that same animal magnetism. Strangely enough, it has very little to do with looks, so your efforts to appear plain were an exercise in futility."
"With you, perhaps. But no other man has given me a second look since I came to work here, and I'm hardly ever molested in the subway any more."
"You mean you were before the transformation?" he asked, clearly horrified at the notion.
She rolled her eyes in disbelief. "You're more of an innocent than I am! Haven't you ever known any women who ride the subways? One of their biggest expenses is having clothes dry-cleaned. They consider themselves lucky if it happens on the way home rather than before work."
"Do you mean-?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I mean."
"That's awful!"
She grimaced. "Tell me about it!"
He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head. "I still don't understand why you didn't attempt to put me in my place the first time I kissed you. You didn't seem scared. I hope you weren't."
"No."
"In fact, you'll forgive me if I mention again the fact that you responded to me. It was definitely a two-way kiss."
Suzanna blushed once mo
re.
"You don't leave me much pride, Quentin. But for what it's worth, you're also the first man ever to arouse me in that way. I've read about it and heard the feeling described, but I had never before experienced it."
He reached out to pat her hand. "Oh, Suzanna! What a waste. You're an extremely sensual woman, and those smoldering fires are ready to burst into a raging conflagration. The first man lucky enough to make love to you is in for earth-shaking fulfillment beyond his wildest imaginings. I hope it will be me. As for you, you'll find it was worth waiting for. On the other hand, you may regret lost opportunities."
"Never. I want you to be first, last and always," she said candidly, causing him to stare and then shake his head.
"I know that's the way you feel right now. Ready, willing, even eager. And later I'll probably want to kick myself for not making love to you when I had the chance. The truth is, now that I have aroused your sexuality, I'd like you to take another look at those fellows you've been dating, especially that poor soul who has been waiting patiently for years, and find out if it's me you want or if any reasonably good looking guy would do as well."
"How can you say that, Quentin?" she asked in a hurt tone.
He sighed. "I can say it because I care about you. I don't want to add to your trauma with guilt you might feel over having sex for the first time with your boss in circumstances and surroundings that seem designed for seduction. We need to work together, after all. If it happens with us, it won't be here. It will be some place where you'll feel comfortable and secure. Your place, or mine. Agreed?"
She sighed and said through gritted teeth, "Tomorrow I may thank you for this. Right now, I could shoot you."
"I'll have to start calling you 'the impatient virgin'," he teased.
She stiffened and got up off the sofa. "Laugh if you want to, Quentin, but this weekend I have a date with my very old friend, the 'poor soul' I've been going with for years. You've just about thrown me into his arms."
He stood up, frowning darkly. "I don't believe that for a minute. But if you wind up there, perhaps it will be because it was meant to happen. Once the barriers are down, friendship has been known to ripen into love. But just so that you keep me in mind, here's one for the road."
With that, he swept her into his arms and placed one kiss on her lips that almost set them tumbling back onto the couch in a welter of writhing limbs.
But at last he pulled himself together once more, and then released her with a sigh.
"Now, grab your things and let's get out of here before all my fine resolve crumbles. Not to mention the fact that I've only just now remembered those damned security cameras you told me about."
"Ah, yes, there is that, but we happen to be in the blind spot. I checked when I looked at the videos they took of him helping himself to my work. This area, and the bathroom. The cameras are angled for people coming in and out of my office, and yours. So there's no need to worry about this getting around. Well, not unless you want us to be on film, that is," she added with an impish grin.
He gave her a playful slap on the rump, and felt her firm, ungirdled buttocks.
"Wow, what a figure. You're full of surprises!" he said in an awed tone. "Tell me Suzanna, what other wonders have you been hiding under those shapeless tents?"
"I'm not telling," Suzy answered pertly. "You had your chance to see for yourself and you chickened out of it."
He laughed throatily. "I sure did, Tiger. Now let's go before I try to correct the oversight."
They turned off the lights, and though she felt achingly disappointed, she knew he was right. But at last he was being protective of her, and seemed to be trying to build something deeply meaningful, not use her for a mere fling.
They held hands all the way down in the elevator, and once out in the street, Quentin again insisted on calling her a cab.
Once again, he gave her a fond kiss, and put her into the cab with a wave.
Suzy sat back and sighed as the cab headed uptown, her lips still burning with the delight of the kiss. She wanted a whole lot more than that from him, but it would have to do for now....
CHAPTER TWELVE
Thanks to all her work with the Imperial Foods account, the days flew by until Suzanna realized with the help of her Blackberry reminder that it was time for the banquet which Jerry White had invited her to.
Suzanna, who knew how Jerry loved being seen with an attractive woman, went all out. Her gown was pale gold lamé and fit her like a second skin. The neck-line plunged to the bottom of her rib cage, but was so cleverly designed that even when she moved or leaned forward, nothing was exposed but her cleavage. The effect was breathtaking. She wore only the sheerest gold pantyhose under the dress, which hugged the contours of her magnificent figure.
Her lovely long legs were also displayed by the slits running up either side of the gown to mid-thigh. Her high-heeled sandals added to her height and length. Her only jewellery was a simple diamond choker with matching earrings. Her ensemble was completed by a gold wrap lined with black velvet.
After months of doing without, Suzanna applied her makeup with care, a warm pink-beige foundation, blusher, deep rose lip gloss, dark brown mascara, and green eye shadow. She knew she looked exquisite, for it was mirrored in Jerry's eyes when he came to pick her up.
He was resplendent in a black tux with a snowy shirt, with a piped front edge in black. One last look in the mirror told her that they made a striking couple.
Like most Manhattanites, Jerry didn't own a car, but he had a cab waiting, and they got into it, chatting easily like the comfortable old friends they were.
At the banquet, they sat with several couples Suzy had met before, mostly friends of Jerry's. Because things were so much like hundreds of dates in the past, it had been hard to think of Jerry as a possible lover.
But now that she was getting over her biggest hang-up, she was beginning to realize that Jerry had never really scared her as a man. In fact, it had been years since she had thought of him as a man at all. There was no thrill when she was with him…
Unlike Quentin, came the thought unbidden.
She pushed it to the back of her mind, and determined to enjoy herself.
The company was pleasant, and for a change she enjoyed the dancing after the meal. In the end she concluded that it was because she had not had to spend her whole evening keeping her partners at arm's length, or their roving hands off her. No one tried to get too close, whether from habit or disinterest, she couldn't be sure. Perhaps it was just that she was less frightened, and so less vulnerable-looking, and thus got fewer hassles now that she was more confident.
"Suzy," Jerry said to her during one of their dances together, "I must be the envy of every man in the place. You look more gorgeous than ever. I don't know what it is, but you seem different somehow."
"That's because I'm enjoying being a butterfly again after these past weeks as a caterpillar."
"Whatever it is, I like it. It makes you seem a lot more yourself, this transformation of yours."
"Thank you. You're pretty dashing yourself."
He blinked in surprise. "That's the first time you've ever said anything about my looks. Sometimes I wondered if you ever really look at me."
She blushed crimson. "I'm sorry. You're right, I don't think I ever do, not really. I guess I should have seen a shrink years ago. I've been so busy protecting myself from a repetition of a childhood terror that I've become completely closed off. I'm sorry. You don't deserve that treatment."
He gave her an understanding smile. "It's lucky you said that. Any more of that kind of treatment and I'd have started to look around for somebody else. Anybody else."
They both laughed easily, and returned to their table. For once, Suzy reveled in the admiring glances turned her way. Men could look at her without wanting to take advantage of her, she could see that now.
She relaxed, and even enjoyed the 'rubber chicken dinner' as they joked about most banquet food. As she sat the
re enjoying being the center of attention, Suzy finally started to feel for the first time every as if everything was really falling into place in her life.
When the banquet was over and Jerry handed her into a cab in front of the hotel, Suzy didn't move right over to the far window as she usually did.
When Jerry got in and sat down, his hips and thighs touched hers. Thinking the fault was his, he attempted to inch away from her, but found little room.
Suzanna wriggled as if to get more comfortable, then leaned toward him saying, "I'm tired. I haven't danced that much for a long time."
But Jerry pushed himself so far into the corner that he almost climbed the seatback.
Poor man, had she really be so stand-offish in the past. Or was it that he had issues to…
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