When I realised I’d drained all of my coffee, I left that space and went to fetch another drink. I couldn’t stand to be faced with his hidden side anymore.
I was walking into the kitchen when I heard his footsteps on the stairs above, tumbling down quickly. He hastened at the door, his hand clutching his chest.
“Shit, I thought you’d left.”
I sheepishly shook my head. Why is he so afraid? “No. Still here. Do you want some coffee?”
“Sure. You found your way around?” He closed the space between us and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, inhaling deep breaths of relief.
“A woman knows a kitchen anywhere, Cai,” I told him haughtily.
He burrowed my hair to find the skin of my neck and kissed me incessantly. “I know you’re not the baking slash homemaker type.”
“How would you know?” I was offended, just a bit. Not enough he would notice or feel bad. Yet his assumption did get me worked up inside. I’d never wanted to settle down, but that was before…
“I’m just teasing, beautiful,” he said softly.
“Hmm,” I replied numbly.
When he began prying open the buttons of his borrowed shirt, I shirked him off. I twisted in his arms to face him and damn, the man looked gorgeous even ruffled. I kissed him briefly but warned, “I want to but I’m sore.”
He pulled both lips inside his mouth and looked concerned. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’d like to lie in bed and cuddle, though.”
“Hmm.” He instantly brightened and swiftly picked me up, then went running with me upstairs. His eyes danced as he puffed and panted all the way up, taking two steps at a time. I squealed and kicked my legs to make the climb worse for him!
“The coffee,” I yelled.
“Oh, yeah.”
He dumped me on the bed and went running back down, laughing his head off. I really liked being with a younger, more playful man.
A couple of minutes later, he returned with the mugs, in a less frantic manner than he’d ran up with me. He placed them on the nightstand and crawled into bed, finding me naked underneath the sheet. I’d quickly gotten rid of the shirt.
“Nakey cuddles?” He grinned and sex sounds emanated from him. “Me not touching you is not gonna happen, Chloe.”
“No! No, no, no!”
Yet the moment his soft lips touched mine, I was lost and sinking into the mattress with his weight hovering over mine. His hands tangled in my hair, I surrendered to the happiness he gave me. Talk could wait. So could the rest.
“I’ll be very gentle.”
“I won’t,” I giggled.
WHILE we recovered together, lazily cuddling and kissing, I relished his touch. Yet I had questions. Rather than bombard him, I started simple.
Or maybe, not so much.
“When I go back to England on Friday, what’s going to happen?”
I knew it came right out of left field, but I wanted to know where we were headed. He sat up in bed with some pillows behind him and reached for his coffee—a definite serious look on his face.
“I don’t know, Chloe. What would you like to happen?”
I looked at him, wondering if that was a trick question. “What would I like to happen? As in, really? You want to know?”
“Hmm-mmm, yeah.”
I rolled onto my stomach, drinking my coffee with my head propped on my elbows, my body tangled in the sheets.
“I don’t know, either. I just started this job, I got promoted… they may want me to come out here eventually, but not immediately. It’s why I’m here this week, testing the waters.”
“You’re doing good then?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Yep. I got given a chance in a place that will let me excel. It’s what I waited for, for years, I guess.” I shrugged it off, whatever it was.
He grimaced and placed his mug down, sliding slightly so he could reach for me while he talked. “I’ll be honest, in either city there’ll be gossip. The sharks will lap up a love interest. There are people out there who still think there’s a story somewhere in my life. I just want you to be happy, so ball’s in your court kiddo.”
“Why is that?” I asked outright. If we were considering being together, why shouldn’t I have asked him? I needed to know what we were up against. “I mean, why are they still hunting a story?”
He gesticulated and tried to bat me off. “I dunno. Maybe… my aunt… the scandal of my first marriage… all that.”
He scrubbed his hand around his head and I swear if I could see my own reflection in that moment, I’d confirm I went bug-eyed. He was going to open up. He saw my face and nodded out of some painful memory, not shame. Something regretful.
“It was annulled so it was never real. Never consummated. We got it written off within days… it was all just a big mistake.”
He rubbed his eyes and seemed saddened so I got up and went over, sitting myself on his lap to wrap my arms around him.
“You don’t have to talk about it.”
“No,” he shook his head against my shoulder, “it’s okay. It was just that it happened when I was 18 and… I thought it was all for the best. To finally get my hands on the money. Aunt Jennifer convinced me I had made a big mistake as soon as she found out. I had… I had made a mistake, and I knew it. Jackie, a childhood friend, she was sweet but no way did I love her.”
So it was at least a good six years ago for him but he was still raw about it all. I felt his regret seep from him to me while he hid his face in my neck.
“How old are you now, Cai?” I asked, biting my lip.
“Twenty-five. Back in June, it was all done and dusted with,” he admitted.
I pulled back to scan his face and he looked unemotional.
“How much are we talking, Cai? Not because… just so I know.”
“Just the house,” he told me without hesitation. “Mom squandered the rest. She wouldn’t have gotten anything but a cousin died young and she was next in line. She got the place up in Connecticut and left London. I think she and my aunt fell out around that time and while my mother got lost in her illness here, Jennifer got busy back in London. She used to be a buyer for Harrods until she worked at Elle. Then she got the offer to work as assistant editor at Frame. Within only a few months, she was promoted to creative director. Their lives couldn’t have been more different… Jennifer spent years building her reputation while my mom remained a recluse in that house.”
“Oh, I see.” I sensed it was a massive relief for him to talk about it all.
That still didn’t explain the rose. It being early in our romance, I didn’t want to go there again. Not unless he brought it up. Last time we’d gone there, he’d left me and I had been forced to fly an ocean to get back to him. Truthfully, I wouldn’t have flown to New York without him as an antidote to the dreaded flying experience.
“Do you ever stay up at that place? The one where you grew up?”
He was vehement. “No, never. I always thought I’d sell it, but something’s stopping me. Sentimentality, I guess.”
“Hmm, it must be a double-edged sword… sell the home and lose all that’s left of her, or keep it and be reminded.”
He bowed his head and looked away, out of the window. “There’s something I’ve not told you.”
My pulse started racing and I clutched my throat. “What is it?”
I tried to be brave, but it was the way he was looking away, like what he had to say was terrible—perhaps might even ruin us.
He kept staring into the distance while he revealed, “I’m really NOT gay.”
Oh my god, is that it? “I thought you were going to say something dreadful for a moment there!”
His eyes smiled. “Like what?”
“I don’t know…”
“Um,” was all he said, his face now a full-on smile. He began kissing my throat and I flung my head back.
“I feel happy. Please don’t scare me again.” My chest filled with love
for him, brimmed with it.
“Sorry.”
“Cai, just you holding me like this is so perfect it hurts.”
“Let’s just cuddle, then,” he insisted, bringing us both down to the bed, side by side. We got comfy, staring at one another.
He knew there was something else. “Say what you’re thinking.”
My lip twisted and I said as gently as possible, “I’m no expert, Cai. I admit. But those pieces in your studio should be shown to the world. Why are they hidden? I saw your gallery and none of them are as good as those in there. You should be a star. You have a great talent!”
I smoothed my hands over his face and he kissed my palms, smiling shyly. “They are for me and you, now. I don’t want those to be public. You know…” he grimaced, taking a moment to find his words, “…I harbour a lot of pain, in here.”
He pointed to his heart. “I’ve seen what wasted talent can do to someone… what being told you’re great can turn someone into… especially if they never fulfil that promise. I don’t wanna chance that. I get enough joy from these without anyone else’s approval.”
“I just see something that should be shared, though. Even if you don’t put your name to it.”
He kissed me briefly, reassuring me, “They come from pain, Chloe. I don’t want those out there for the vultures. They’re mine. If you want, they can be yours too.”
I smiled into his eyes and swooned. I couldn’t argue with that. “That is the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
We’d been officially lovers for less than 24 hours and yet, time seemed to stand still while we enjoyed those precious first encounters. It felt as if I had known him forever. He pulled me tight into his arms and growled with relief, breathing heavily against my body while we hid in each other.
“I’ve fallen so hard I can’t see any before.” I think the tear in my eye also confirmed it, though he didn’t see it.
“Chloe, I’m right here. I’m so grateful for you.”
He kissed me hard, all over my face, and we rolled around the bed lazily until I demanded he feed me.
Chapter 21
I WORE A pair of black, skinny cropped jeans and a polka dot blouse while Cai wore some baggy jeans and a blue checked shirt. He looked gorgeous and even better, he couldn’t take his hands off me. We left the car at his place and caught a cab to Manhattan, brunching at the Boathouse. We hired a boat and paddled around the lake for a bit, but it was too hot by noon to stay out, so we headed for some shade in the trees and laid out together. I rested on his chest so I didn’t ruin my blouse on the grass.
“Do you love New York?” I asked with my chin propped up so I could look down on him.
“Yes and no,” he lifted his Ray Bans from his nose to look at me and squinted against the sunshine.
“What do you mean, yes and no?”
“Hmm.” He searched my eyes while he thought about it. “I love the city but for some reason I still can’t call it home, even though I went to school here… even though when I was in Connecticut before my parents died, this was still the place to come.”
How exactly did they die? I’d wait to ask that. Or hope he would tell me himself.
“What about Jennifer? Is she staying out of your affairs now?”
“Pretty much,” he nodded. “You might meet her, one day. She will love the way you dress, especially your more outrageous outfits.”
I laughed and rolled so I was flat on top. “I’m happy, Cai.”
He reached up and brushed my mouth with his, smiling through the kiss. His hips cuddled me between his legs and I felt it was soon going to get wild if we didn’t get away from that position we laid in. I cleared my throat and pushed myself up, using both hands on his chest to lever myself.
“Umfff, woman,” he complained—I’d nearly done a press-up on him.
“Quit complaining young man,” I scoffed, and he shrugged as he got himself standing too.
“Do you like it that I am younger?”
We started walking along one of the pedestrian zones through the park, his hand laced loosely through mine.
“I don’t mind it that you’re younger in number. In maturity, that would’ve been a problem. But as soon as we started talking, I realised there was a certain old vibe about you.”
He looked pleased with himself and I dug my elbow in his side as a warning not to get too cocky.
“Well, if I may be bold… and mature… and smug… I like being the arm candy of an older woman. It’s very cool… and numbers aside, my old gal is one hot chick.”
“You’re one word away from a bollocking!” I slapped his bum.
He playfully ran off and I chased after, shouting, “Boy, naughty boy! Come back here so I can put you over my knee!”
People around us looked worried, like we’d just escaped for the day or something. When I finally caught Cai and our chests crashed together in a hug, we hissed and tittered with laughter. He kissed me right there in the middle of all those other people, his warm, firm hands holding my cheeks while he softly plumped my lips with his, barely licking me.
I sighed with contentment and told him, “I usually go down the pub for a Sunday roast right about now.”
“You’re in New York, lady,” he reminded me. “There will be some kinda joint here somewhere.”
He pulled on my hand to lead me out of the park and toward a taxi rank on Fifth Avenue. We climbed in and Cai asked loudly, “Hey pal, where can we get a roast dinner? My girl’s from England and she wants her some meat and veg.”
The cab driver burst out laughing while I shrank in my chair.
“Thanks a bunch,” I muttered.
“I know this real good Irish pub… a pal o’mine has him an English wife and they always go there. It’s called McKinley’s.”
“Yeah I’ve heard of it… think we’ll head there if the lady agrees!”
Cai turned his mischievous eyes on mine and I agreed, swotting his hands off me. Cheeky bastard.
The cab driver clunked over the roads as Cai got busy whispering in my ear, telling me what he was going to do with me when we got back to his place. We were lucky to get to the Irish, let me tell you.
McKinley’s looked pretty darn rough from the outside—like something from Shameless—and I almost called the cab back as we dusted ourselves down on the sidewalk.
“Where are we?” I asked, no idea.
“The Village,” he said, pulling my hand, “c’mon.”
Inside was a whole different ballgame—wood panels, hand pumps, stools, brass rails, pictures of old Irish pubs and—all within Manhattan. I was impressed.
I chugged down a whole beef roast, followed by apple pie, accompanied by two pints of lager. Cai chugged his food, deliriously happy to see I also enjoyed mine. Pints and meat made me just that bit more in love with him.
He took me to Knave in Le Parker Meridien after that and despite feeling very underdressed, he assured me I looked great. Though in truth, I felt bloated from a full dinner.
The lighting low, the Asian-inspired furniture and décor comfy, the cocktails flowed and were needed to take the edge off my trepidation—yet we stayed there until midnight, picking and choosing the weirdest stuff off the menu. He told me the spa was amazing and he’d like to treat me to it sometime, so I absently told him yeah. I didn’t know if there would be time or cause for that, but I grinned nonetheless.
It was all lightness between us and we laughed throughout, him telling me all the secrets of the models he shot over the years. Which of them hated each other, which had quirky demands, which were the nicest and which often turned up drunk or on crack. Half the time I had my mouth open and my cheeks hurt repeating the word, “Noooo!!”
“Yeah,” he repeated until I believed him.
We caught a cab back to his place and set an alarm so I could get to work on time the next day. I wasn’t half as prepared as I’d like to have been, but what the hell.
As we got ready for bed, stood
side by side in his red bathroom (yes, it was really red!), we stripped in front of one another before diving through to the bedroom and straight beneath the sheets.
He made wild love to me that night, throwing me all over the bed, doing me from behind, on top, back-to-front, eating me out in between. I sucked his cock, his balls, licked his perineum and warned I’d get to his ass one day. We writhed and I screamed, braced against his arms while we ground our bodies tight together. He bounced me on his cock until the bed creaked and then he ran with me to a wall, fucking me up against it. I came again and again, soaking with sweat and cum by the end.
Wrapped in his arms afterwards, I knew a growing, unrelenting happiness I never had before. We fell asleep instantly and despite his big bed, we laid together right in the middle, my face hid tight in his shoulder and neck, my body all over his. I hoped his kisses and whispers were honest because they had me believing he felt exactly the same way.
Chapter 22
I GOT TO the office in plenty of time on Monday morning—some rented premises in the art-deco Verizon building. When Cai dropped me off, I asked him why the area seemed so eerie and he told me that it was because Ground Zero was right around the corner. I asked him where he was that day and he said he was at school and saw the towers go down. He didn’t expand on his feelings but I wondered if it was just a New York thing to clam up like he regularly did. Somehow, I didn’t think so. Anyway, Cai needed to run a few errands around town so he went on his way after giving me a lush, lingering kiss that I knew would leave my toes curling all day long.
Security was high in the foyer of the building but I spotted my gang hovering around a lounge area and greeted Trevor, “Morning.”
“Slept in?”
“No. I’m here before time, am I not?” It wasn’t even nine a.m. yet.
“You weren’t at the hotel? We shared cabs here.”
“I got my own lift,” I told him, with a snide, raised brow.
Unbind (Sub Rosa Series Book 1) Page 17