A baby. Maybe she was born without luck, but I won't let it stay that way.
Chapter 8
Tauren
The Council chamber is emptier, but I wanted it this way. It's painful enough knowing what I should say without having to look at Jensen and Kelbara while I say it. It was hard enough to tell Audra. She doesn't agree with what I'm about to do, but at the same time in a testament to her, she's supporting me. I know she's going to stand by my side on this.
Instead of having Kelbara and Jensen seated next to Audra, Gwyndolen sits in Kelbara's seat, her new look causing a few whispers among the nobles who haven't had the chance to see her since she's adopted the new clothing style. It helps quite a bit. I want to present a 'harder' image today, and even something as simple as the clothing style chosen by the Queen's Advisor can make a difference, even if she's in the dark about this.
“While I would have preferred that Lord Jensen be here to deliver the news of his successful raid on the slaver camp personally, he and the Lady Kelbara are already planning their next raid and taking care of the Rangers. Also, Sir Tryion, it is good to see you back in the Council,” Mogar says, leading the talks currently. “Your father is recovering, I hope?”
“He is trying his best, Lord Mogar. Thank you for your concerns. But please, let us focus on the important matters at hand,” Tryion says, nodding his thanks. He glances at Gwyndolen, and I wonder.... she is beautiful, and even if she is near twice his age, she doesn't look it at all. And they have been seen talking together, especially after the last Council meeting.
“It will be passed along,” I say, interrupting Mogar before he has a chance to speak. He understands it's time. “However, I am more worried about the status of this planet. The Council has read and now seen how brazen and how inhumane these.... the Rebels are. Two hundred human beings locked up in the most wretched of conditions. Twenty of them so injured and sick that they either died in the pens or are now permanently disfigured. Five more dead after we got them out of the pens, they were so far gone. Worst of all, a woman who gave birth just before she could have been liberated, dying because the slavers couldn't spare the time or emotion to let a woman in labor give birth in something besides filth and starvation. I'm tired of this!”
I slam my fist on the table, looking around at each of the members of the Council. “I will not see this planet in conflict any longer. If my enemies are unwilling to act humanely, then I will be forced to resort to drastic measures.”
Mogar looks at me, horrified. “Sire, what are you saying?”
“I'm saying Mogar that if the Rebels want to turn up the heat on people.... then I'm willing to scorch the very ground that they are occupying,” I reply, raising my voice slightly. I never thought I'd be doing this, but it must be done. “I'd rather that those people die quickly, humanely than be herded like cattle!”
“Sire, no disrespect, but do you mean that you'd be willing to use Q-weapons on the rebels?” someone down the table asks, and I turn my eyes in their direction, staring a hole through him.
“I mean that sometimes when a cancer is tearing apart your body, the only way to treat it is to cut it out and cauterize the area. It may be ugly, but it is the only way for the body to survive.”
Mogar stands up, his face panicked. “Tauren, you can't! Heaven and stars, I taught you better than that!”
I stare at Mogar, my eyes blazing as I reach over and take Audra's hand. She plays her part perfectly, starting to pull back but relenting, saying nothing as I glare at my teacher. “My wife has taught me other things, Mogar. Such as the importance of making sure my son is born to a planet without war. I will not risk his future over some morality problems that some people might be too weak to think about. And I've learned that toleration of disrespect is not a good thing, either.”
Mogar sits down, but won't give up his point. “Sire, I'm not trying to disrespect you, but what of the lessons that we went over, how actions like what you're pondering might cure problems in the short run but...”
“But nothing!” I yell, cutting Mogar off. “You know what your issue is Mogar? You look at it all like some sort of book problem, not considering options outside the books. The problems others have had is none of them were willing to take it all the way. If the Rebels push me anymore Mogar, they will find that I am!”
Silence descends over the Council, and I get to my feet, looking around. “Council adjourned.”
It's a violation of decades of protocol, but it's essential to my performance, and I turn, storming out of the Council chambers without even waiting for anyone to say anything. I keep it up, storming through the palace and retreating to my private quarters, stripping off my tunic and undershirt, needing to let lose my tension. I can't just fake that amount of frustration and anger, I had to tap into it somehow, even if the words themselves were a lie.
I'm just changing my pants when Audra comes in, her face flat, unemotional. “You gave a convincing performance.”
“I hated every second of it,” I grumble, pulling on some exercise pants. “The hard part is, I couldn't just do it like an act. Maybe there is a part of me that just wants to burn the assholes.”
“Probably. Just like a part of me wanted to get into the act too. It was hard looking upset after you were done. But... well, I think they bought it.”
I sigh, running my hand through my hair and shaking my head. “Mogar?”
“Considering it was cooked up between the two of you, he played his part perfectly. I think being the Games master means he's been acting more often than what I'd like to think about,” Audra says quietly, coming over and sitting down on the bench next to me. “Tauren... are you sure you want to do it this way? Lying to the Noble Council? Lying to our family even?”
“It's not quite a lie, there was a reason I did this when Kelbara and Jensen aren't here. I could pull that off in front of the other nobles. But... not them. I can avoid it, I can try to do that, but to lie to them, I'm not that twisted.... not yet,” I reply, my voice dropping to a whisper at the end. I look down, staring at my hands. “Audra....”
“I know,” she says quietly, rubbing my back. “I know, my love. And I'll tell you flat out the same thing I did last night when you brought me in on this plan, I think you're taking the wrong approach. But you are my husband, regardless. I will always support you, and I will always have your back. Now, part of that is going to be handling things this afternoon while you continue to play the brooding, brash monarch. You go work off the anger you have, and later, we'll deal with it.”
I nod, adjusting the fasteners on my shoes and standing up. “Thank you, Audra. I... thank you.”
Audra gets up, patting me on the shoulder again. “Like I said Tauren, I don't like this plan. But you are my husband and my life. I'll back you. Go, and I'll start 'smoothing things over' with Mogar publicly.”
Audra leaves, and I shake my head, knowing I don't deserve a woman as wonderful as her. It makes me even angrier, knowing that I'm stressing our relationship, and I slam my fist into my palm, knowing that regardless of how much I might go and work out right now, I'm still going to be angry.
Still, maybe if I'm too physically exhausted to punch someone, I won't hurt anyone.
The hurting will start when the fallout from my little act begins, and I'm not looking forward to it.
Chapter 9
Audra
Tauren leaves the palace early the next morning, telling me that he's going off to visit some troops on the front lines of the war. While I don't like it, after yesterday's charade, I know he needs to keep it up, and at least he takes a squad of Royal Lancers with him to protect him. I watch him lift off in the royal shuttle, quickly gaining altitude then streaking off to the southwest, and I turn around, heading back into the palace to try and start my day.
Officially, Mogar and I aren't going to work together today, another little sign in the 'tension' between him and the palace, but that leaves me in a bind. I want to be able to confide in
someone about my stress, but the only two people who I can talk to are Mogar and Kelbara. With Mogar being on the 'outs,' and Kelbara being kept in the dark as to the reality of the plan, I'm left with nobody to talk to. “No wonder queens get the reputation for being bitchy,” I mutter to myself. “They've got nobody they can trust.”
“I wouldn't say nobody,” a soft voice says behind me, and I turn around. Gwyndolen stands at the door to the large foyer, still in her adopted uniform, looking at me with hope and wariness in her eyes. “You can talk with me. Even if you can't share everything with me.”
I smile, relieved while at the same time knowing that part of the reason Tauren stressed to me that we can't tell Kelbara about the plan is because of Gwyndolen. While the odds of her being the information leak are small, she's too new to the palace to be the only security breach on the Noble Council, we need to acknowledge the fact that she could be untrustworthy as well. Still, Gwyndolen has been nothing but helpful to me, and I appreciate her presence, especially now. She's smart too, she recognizes that she hasn't earned my full trust yet, but isn't pushing the issue either.
“Maybe so. How are you this morning, Gwyndolen?” I ask. “You look good.”
“I've had better mornings,” Gwyndolen admits, shrugging. “I didn't eat or sleep well last night. Yesterday was... not what I expected.”
“I'm sure. How about you come with me, maybe we can find a common ground where we can both relax enough to find some sunshine in this day?”
Gwyndolen smiles, nodding. “I can always talk about your baby if you don't mind. How's he doing?”
“Squirmy. I've made myself eat, but I think he knows that I'm stressing out. When that happens, he gets very squirmy inside me. I don't even want to know what he's going to be like in a month and a half or so. Last night I watched as he twisted and poked so hard I could see my stomach physically moving. Kind of freaky,” I admit. “I don't think he likes stress.”
“Who does?” Gwyndolen says, then taps her cheek with a finger, thinking. “You know, when I was pregnant with Kelbara, I found going for a swim very relaxing. Would you be up for a swim in the pool?”
“I think I can find something that fits me,” I admit. “Do you have a swimsuit?”
Gwyndolen nods, slightly blushing. “I do... if you don't mind me wearing something a mother shouldn't.”
It surprises me, but I smile, intrigued. “Meet me at the palace indoor pool in fifteen minutes, we can see if it's appropriate for a mother or not.”
I go back to my chambers to change, pulling on the simple black massively stretchy tank suit that I bought when I realized that my stomach was going to get too big for my regular suit, along with a robe that allows me to walk through the halls of the palace without feeling embarrassed. Not that anyone would say anything if I walked through the halls stark naked, but still... a queen does have an image to uphold.
I reach the indoor pool just before my fifteen-minute deadline, taking off my robe and slipping into the warm water. It feels great, the weight in my stomach and body being supported by the water and allowing me to just float. I'm just starting to let myself indulge when the door opens again and I look up to see Gwyndolen come in, also in a robe. “Well, that doesn't look too inappropriate. More conservative than what I wore, actually.”
Gwyndolen blushes and reaches for the belt. “About a year and a half ago, I was feeling like maybe I needed to recapture some of my youth again. There was a minor noble in the area who was interested in me, and it made me feel flirty again. He invited me to visit him on his family's estate on the Southern Islands, so I....”
Gwyndolen undoes her belt and lets the robe fall. I feel my jaw drop open as she stands on the deck in a pale blue bikini that can't weigh more than fifty grams soaking wet. A narrow triangle front on her bottoms curves up and over her generous hips to emphasize the narrow vase-like flare of her waist, while her top is a string-tied style that just barely contains her large breasts. It's sexy, it's flirty, and when she turns around, I can see that while the back isn't a thong, it's still quite revealing. “That is not built for racing.”
Gwyndolen blushed, shaking her head. “The relationship with the noble didn't work out, he wasn't my type at all once we got to be in private together, but I couldn't bring myself to throw this out after just one weekend. I tossed it in my bags because I... well, I don't know why really. Is it too much?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Gwyndolen, the only thing that suit is too much of is too sexy. Please tell me that at least the guy who invited you was interested in you that way?”
Gwyndolen nods, laughing a little. “He was interested in me... after that weekend, I wasn't so much into him. Besides being a complete jerk, once I showed him myself in this suit he did nothing but try and steer every conversation we had to sex and trying to get me into bed with him. I'm no prude, but I'm also interested in more than just that.”
I laugh, leaning back and floating in the water as Gwyndolen steps in, humming happily. “Wow, it's warm.”
“Tauren asked the staff to turn up the temperature, the doctors said that this is the perfect temperature for me and the baby. I can see why you may have fried that man's brain, though, Gwyndolen. I'm glad Tauren met me before seeing you in that suit, I'd still be single otherwise.”
Gwyndolen laughs, shaking her head. “He loves you, and don't sell yourself short. You're uniquely beautiful too. But, about Tauren... I'd like to have a stress-free time, can we not talk about him too much? Or at least... about yesterday?”
“I think that's a good idea,” I reply, leaning back and stroking gently. It's not much of a workout, but it feels good, letting my body limber up some and my back to slowly unkink. “Gwyndolen?”
“Hmm?” she asks, and I look over, seeing her walking in her lane, keeping pace with me as she bobs up and down.
“You know, I don't understand why you're so shy about your suit. Yes, you're a mother, but there's nothing you need to feel self-conscious about. But you blush every time I mention that you look good. Why?”
Gwyndolen smiles, her blush coming back. “I just... well, since leaving Ambaris, I went quite a few years not thinking about relationships at all. Oh, I had a rebound affair soon after the divorce, a man my age who had lost his wife, but we were purely physical for a few months. After that, I guess... well, I guess I just focused on other things. I knew how rich and even influential Ambaris was becoming in Joren's court, especially as Tauria's tastes became more and more extreme, and it disgusted me. So, I sort of stayed away, even though it hurt. My bloodline is proud, but it isn't rich, honestly. I worked and tried to use what knowledge I could to help my family. Then my parents died, and I took over the line, a divorced woman isolated from her own daughter and hanging onto the periphery of the noble lines. It was only my pride that kept me from giving up the nobility totally. Then the heaven and stars moved.”
“You could say that,” I reply, interested. “Still... you are a head turner.”
“Thanks,” Gwyndolen says, smiling. “Actually...”
“Oh?” I ask, feeling a thrill inside me. “Don't tell me you've got your eye on someone again?”
“More like he approached me. Uh, Lord Imogen's son, Tryion.”
“Tryion?” I ask, nodding. “Not my type, but I can see the appeal. He's very... clean cut, sort of the scholar type. But cute still.”
“He is,” Gwyndolen says. “But also... well, you're right, he is sort of bookish. We had tea together the other day, and instead of talking about so many of the things that I've dealt with, noble gossip or the war or whatever, he wanted to talk about... well, he wanted to talk about his favorite birds. Apparently, he is quite the expert on birds of the far continent. I like nature, so we spent nearly an hour talking about good places to go to get away from the city.”
“I can give you some ideas, although Jensen even more. He knows probably a hundred places he had Resistance camps,” I chuckle. “So... do you like him?”
“Tryion?” Gwyndolen asks, and I nod. She shrugs slightly, then nods. “I guess... well, I do like him. And he asked me out to dinner, like a real date. But...”
“But what?” I ask, standing up. “Is it because of his rank?”
Gwyndolen shakes his head, surprised. “No, not at all! But Audra, he's only a few years older than my daughter! I'm literally old enough to be his mother!”
I laugh, and squat down, soaking my head some before coming up, wiping the water out of my eyes and still laughing. “Gwyndolen, you know that first off, Tauren's over a decade older than me, right?”
“Of course, I mean that's not that uncommon on Tamaria,” Gwyndolen says. “But we're talking about twenty years’ difference between us.”
“And with the life extension drugs, you're hardly that different in appearance,” I note. “The fact is Gwyndolen, and I'm not saying this to call you vain or anything, but you do look more like my peer and Kelbara's sister than her mother. It's only when you open your mouth and start talking that you reveal your maturity. But who cares? You like him, he's obviously interested in you, so why not have a date with him? I mean, you said you got that swimsuit for the same thing, right?”
“A failed date, remember. I'm not interested in being anyone's fling or side piece.”
“And you shouldn't be. You're a beautiful woman who I've learned is smart and wise. That you gave birth to my sister is just an additional bonus. For that matter, I'm a bit jealous right this second. At least you know that Tryion isn't the type to go rushing off doing dangerous things,” I reply, covering my mouth when the words come tumbling out. “Sorry.”
Gwyndolen shakes her head, smiling. “I… I can understand. Maybe that's also why I like Tryion. I had a man who wanted to go out and take on the world, who wanted to put himself in danger. There's a difference between what I had and what you have, though.”
Red Planet: The Rebel War (Tamarians Book 3) Page 8