by May Dawson
His lips quirked up. “Brat.”
I turned my face to kiss him again, but he evaded me, standing up. He pulled his t-shirt over his head in one easy gesture, exposing the broadness of his pecs, the cut angles of every ab.
His smile widened slightly. “You’re staring.”
“It’s only fair,” I said. “I think you’ve seen me more in my bra than in a shirt.”
“Or a bikini top,” he said.
I ran my fingernails down the bare skin of his chest. “Not that you enjoyed the view when I was in the bikini. Since you didn’t care much for me then.”
“Wrong on all counts.”
He turned away to turn on the water. There were raised pink welts across his back, and I gasped, already jumping to my feet. He turned back to me, flushing, high color in his cheeks. It was the first time I’d seen Jacob look embarrassed. Humiliated.
“You’re hurt,” I said. “Did they do that when…” When I was being whined—literally, whined at— and dined by the demon?
He bit down on his lower lip, and then, as if it pained him, he turned his back to me again. “Look again, Ellis. They’re old. Nothing to worry about.”
I looked more slowly at the old scars that bubbled along his skin, marring the beauty of his chiseled body; they ran along the length of his broad shoulders and down the narrow taper of his waist, disappearing into the waistband of his boxers. How many times had someone hurt him to do this to him?
“I thought angels healed easily,” I said softly.
“That just means you have to hit them harder,” he said. He saw my face, and he went from light to worried. “Ellis. Come on. It’s a long time ago. Don’t be sad.”
I ran my hands over his shoulders, pressing myself to him; I had to bob onto my tiptoes to rest my chin on his shoulder. I couldn’t promise him that I wouldn’t be sad for him. But I could kiss away the newest damage.
He twisted in my arms, catching me around the waist. He took a step back, drawing me under the water with him, hot water ran over us both, beading along his broad arms and wetting those dark curls to his head. He smiled down at me, a tentative flicker of his lips, as if he were trying to tease me into being happy with him.
“At least we’re alive,” he said.
“At least we’re together.” I ran my hands over his chest and then down. My fingers hooked into the waistband of his boxers. “Do you usually wear your underwear in the shower? Is that a British thing too?”
“No,” he said. When he smiled at me like this, I loved the way his cheekbones rounded; it made me want to kiss his cheeks studiously, finding my way along the hard angle of bone that made his cheekbones so sharp and gorgeous. “Feel free to do something about those.”
“And I’m the slacker,” I teased, running my finger along his waistband. I grabbed his boxers and knelt suddenly, drawing them quickly down his chiseled thighs and muscular calves.
His cock bobbed out of his boxers, long and smooth. I looked at it for a long second, feeling the water streaming down my shoulders.
Jacob leaned back against the wall of the shower, his cock pulling away from me as he did, and crossed his arms over his chest. “Does it pass inspection?”
“I don’t know,” I said, reaching out to take it in my hand. “It looks serviceable enough.”
“Serviceable, hmm?” He settled one hand on my hip, leaning down to nuzzle his nose against my cheek, and drew me towards him. I felt his free hand slide behind me, unlatching my bra, and it slid down my arms. I let it fall into the hot water pooling at my feet. I never planned to wear that damn bra again.
His palm slid roughly over my breast. My back arched, pushing myself harder against him, and that smile of his widened slightly. My body gave me away. He dipped his head, kissing the spot where my neck met my shoulder. His tender lips sent sparks of longing racing through my body.
His big hands settled on my hips. I ran my heel up the inside of his calf, my knee falling aside so that he could press even closer to me, and I leaned against the cool wall of the shower. His strong arm across my lower back held me close to him, and I knew no matter how slick the wet tile was under my feet, he would hold me up.
His warm weight pressed against my stomach. He was so much taller than me. I bit down on my lower lip, making a face up at him.
“We can make this work,” he said. He wrapped his arms around my thighs, and I shrieked with laughter and nerves and desire as he lifted me into the air, pinning me against the wall. My hands wrapped around his broad, damp shoulders, trying to hold myself up, and he buried his face in my shoulder.
“Are you smelling me?” I asked, laughter in my voice. Because as ridiculous as it sounded, of course I was grateful that I still smelled like red-hots to him, and that he still smelled like coffee and cinnamon to me.
His cock brushed between my thighs, and my hands tightened on his shoulders. He eased into me as gently as a man his size could. Jacob had long fingers and a long tongue, things I’d noticed before I ever saw him naked, and they sure weren’t the only parts of him that were long.
I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “I sure hope that’s all-in.”
“Are you always so irreverent during sex?” he asked.
“Are we seriously going to fight now too?”
“Possibly.” He shifted slightly, pressing my back and shoulder against the wall, so he could let go of one of my thighs. I could feel him hesitate, testing to see if we could manage like this, and then he put his palm over my lips. “There. Much more romantic now.”
I bit his palm, feeling the pinch of his skin between my teeth, and he yanked his hand away. He shook his hand out, scowling at me playfully. “Brat.”
“I thought it was your kink?”
“Oh, we aren’t doing that tonight. I don’t think you could handle it,” he said.
“Are you reverse-psyching me?”
A playful grin turned his lips up. “I told you, I wouldn’t do it if you didn’t like it. I’m waiting for you to ask. To b—”
I clamped my hand over his mouth. “Much more romantic this way.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, as if he were waiting for permission to speak. When I moved my hand he said, “Is that really all you’ve got, Landon? Recycled one-liners? I’ve come to expect a worthier opponent.”
“Shut up and fuck me, Kerr.”
He grinned, and I felt a lightness in my chest. Things had changed with Jacob, but what hadn’t changed was the nerves I felt around him, the sense of something a little wild and dangerous between us.
He eased out and then deep inside me again, and I gasped.
Well. That would shut me up.
He began to pump into me over and over again, his arms tight around me, my thighs holding him tight to me as I could, and my body flooded with warmth, and then heat, and I felt my back arch involuntarily and my knees go weak, and I would have fallen over if it hadn’t been for Jacob holding me there against the wall. He buried his face in my shoulder again, but this time, my name was on his lips. Ellis. Ellis.
The two of us came together, and then he eased me gently to the tile floor, the two of us standing under the now-cool shower water. He held me carefully in his arms, checking to make sure I was steady after that orgasm, and I swayed against him for a moment. When he saw that I was okay, that I had my feet under me, he pressed a kiss to my lips and stepped out of the shower.
When I finished bathing under the hot water and pulled the shower curtain open, Jacob held the towel out for me, his arms wide. I stepped out of the shower and he wrapped it around me. He rubbed my arms through the towel, my back, and then knelt to dry my legs. His hands on my thighs made me tremble, but he was all business.
“There,” he said, straightening up, giving the towel wrapped around me one little tug closed.
I gazed up at him curiously.
“What?” he asked, his voice gruff. “Someone has to look after you. Lord knows you don’t look after yourself.”
“Can’t be too timid when I’ve got you boys to keep up with.”
“We would do anything to protect you,” he said. “You don’t have to keep up.”
“I really do,” I told him. I let the towel fall as I pressed myself forward against him, wrapping my arms around his lean waist. “And I would do anything to protect you.”
“I know.” His hands wrapped around my hips again, holding me close. His lips arched up, as if he were quite fond of me. “Impossible princess.”
This time, it meant something else altogether.
He kissed me again, and I kissed him back, and then he hoisted me up on top of the sink, and I leaned back against the mirror.
We were never going to get out of this bathroom.
But then, we had been quite dirty. We had a lot of making-up-for-lost-time to do.
29
Before we’d gone to sleep, Jacob had warned me, “If I punch you in the face in my sleep, you can’t take it personally.”
I had told him that this was not conducive to a cuddly night’s rest, but in the end I’d slept in his arms anyway, my head on his chest, his arms wrapped around me. We had been so cold in the cell, chained apart, and now I was warm and safe held against him.
And he slept deeply with me there, my fingertips resting on his chest, even though I lay awake for a long time despite my exhaustion. I watched his chest rise and fall, counting his breaths, my mind still spinning over everything that had happened. Until my breath matched his, and the heaviness of sleep bore me down.
I woke up because I felt cool without his body against mine, and I sat up hastily. He stood back; he’d been in the midst of tucking the blankets in around me, and he still held them in his hands.
“You can go back to sleep,” he said. “I want to get ready for our talk with Nimshi. But I won’t do it without you.”
“You’re not going to hurt him, are you?”
Jacob shook his head slightly. “You’re being awfully tender about a man who hurt you.”
“He hurt you worse,” I said. “I just… I don’t know what to make of him.”
“He’s a demon, Ellis. You can’t make anything of him.”
“But what if we could? He said his soul was in a box… what if he just needs his soul.”
Jacob dropped the blanket and swiped a hand through his hair impatiently. “I need coffee before I reckon with your innocence and trust.”
“I’m not being innocent,” I protested. “I realize he probably can’t be the Fourth. I was just thinking last night that maybe his situation is more complicated than we realized.”
Jacob sighed. “Just…coffee.”
“Give me one of your shirts,” I said, sitting up in his bed. The last of the blankets fell away, and I could feel Jacob’s eyes on my breasts, the second his exasperation flipped over into desire. I pointed a finger at him. “Definitely not. You haven’t had your coffee yet, remember?”
He pulled a t-shirt out of the top drawer of his dresser and tossed it to me. “Brat.”
“Jerk-face.” I pulled it on and yanked the hem down to cover my thighs as I slipped out of bed. “I’m going to go put on real clothes so I don’t look all debauched in front of the demon.”
“Good call,” he said. “Unless you want to torment him with how good things can be when you’re one of the good guys.”
I found myself smiling as I headed towards the door, and I stopped when I was in the doorway, poised for a quick exit. “Are you saying that I’m a good thing, Jacob Kerr? That this is a good thing?”
“The best thing,” he said, and he balled up the t-shirt he had just pulled off to throw it at me. “Now get out of here. I can’t fucking do mushy before coffee, either.”
I closed the door quickly between us as he launched his laundry towards me, and slipped down the hall. I passed Ryker and Levi’s doors, and I wondered how they were doing. Did it feel lonely to them to sleep without me, the way I felt strange when I slept with only one of the boys instead of safe in the middle of all the ones I loved? I felt sure that this thing between me and all of them could be wonderful, but it also sure was complicated.
It must have been awful for them when they came home and found Jacob and I missing. Cold dread settled in my stomach as I thought about how flippant I had been the day before about them being mad. The truth is that if I had to be scared for them, the way they must have been scared for me, I’d be furious. The thought of worrying if they were dead or alive was a gut-punch of agony just imagining it.
Ugh. I had to say I was sorry.
I was about to head into my room when I heard the creak of a door behind me. I turned.
Levi stood just outside his room, the doorknob in his hand. He hesitated, then nodded hello to me. “Morning, Ellis.”
God. The hesitation killed me. Things were even awkward with Levi now.
Levi was the one who always got me. Which meant that now he got that I’d done something stupid. Maybe worse than stupid. Maybe I’d betrayed his trust. I bit down on my lip, twisting the hem of my t-shirt in my hands.
Levi’s eyes fell to the hem of the t-shirt too, drawn by the motion, and then I saw his eyes widen slightly. He jerked his eyes up to my face hastily.
Such a gentleman.
“Come talk?” I said softly.
“You want to go for a run?” he asked.
“Rule one?”
He nodded without smiling.
“Rule one,” I confirmed. “Okay. Just… wait here, I guess.”
I ducked into my bedroom and hastily pulled on a sports bra, shorts and a t-shirt. I brushed my teeth in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I looked different than I had a few weeks ago. My body was leaner; even my cheekbones stood out more prominently. It might have made me a little more conventionally-attractive, but my eyes were shadowed with gray. I might be skinny enough, but I wouldn’t pass for a Cosmo cover model.
I stuck my tongue out at myself in the mirror. Too bad. Pretty might help me win Levi back over.
Then I sashayed out of the bathroom to pay for my sins with a long run—not my favorite—and apologies—which were worse.
The hall was empty.
My stomach dropped, and then there was that creak again down the hall, and Levi stepped out, now dressed for a run. Right. It wasn’t that he hated me; he’d had to change too. His t-shirt clung to his broad pecs and fell away over his waist, and he looked lanky in his basketball shorts and running shoes.
“You are really impossibly tall,” I said, glancing up at him.
He rested his elbow casually on my shoulder. “You’re impossibly short.”
The easy way he’d just touched me made my stomach flutter with nerves and a sense of relief all at once. “Tall, short, we could make it work.”
He stopped, quirking an eyebrow at me, his lips curving up slightly.
Maybe I should wait until I’d apologized before I came onto him. Or maybe this way a good way to soften him up. I could just imagine it. “Mm. Mm. I’m sorry, by the way. Mm.” “Oh, mmmmmmm, forget about it, you’re lovely.”
“Ellis?” Levi said.
“Right,” I said. “Out to the woods.”
When we stepped outside, it was already hot, even though the sun was only halfway up towards the center of the sky. I yanked at the collar of my t-shirt to fan myself as Levi reached the bottom of the porch stairs and turned.
“This is usually the point where we start running,” he said.
“Fine.” I reluctantly jumped down the last step and launched into a run.
The two of us headed for the woods, and he bobbed along easily matching my pace. I was breathing hard already. He was clearly out for a jog.
“Do you guys run alone?” I asked. “Even knowing what’s out there?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Most of the time, we’re the worst thing out there.”
“I can’t imagine ever being comfortable alone again, now that I know…” I trailed off, almost shivering despite the
heat. Now that I’d seen things I’d never unsee. A little boy being broken. A man being broken all over again. My sister in the flames. Samael’s glittering eyes, his fingers closed on my throat.
“Give it time,” Levi promised me. “You have to train. Work. It isn’t magical.”
“But there is magic.”
“And even that is a pain in the ass.”
His tone was mild, and I knew he probably meant that magic, too, was a lot of work. But thinking about magic made me think of Turner’s parlor trick, the scented rocks that had popped in the flames. I thought of how gullible I’d been, leaning in towards the fire with my nostrils flared to breathe in poison, and I could feel my cheeks flush.
“You don’t have to be alone, anyway,” Levi said.
Because you have us. It was implied, but sometimes a girl just wants to hear it out loud.
“Except for…” I trailed off, losing courage.
Plus I was really having a tough time drawing in a full breath. Levi wasn’t even breaking a sweat, bouncing along beside me at an easy pace.
“You want to stop?” he asked.
I thought for a second he meant talking, but then he took one more step and began to walk. I stopped dead, rocking forward on my toes, and leaned over with my hands on my knees to catch my breath.
“I need to work out more,” I said.
“We can do this again tomorrow,” he promised.
“Joy,” I said. But I glanced up at him, through the swinging veil of my hair. He looked amused. And annoyingly unruffled. And tall and gorgeous.
I straightened up and sighed. “I’m sorry that Jacob and I went off without telling you.”
He nodded. “I know.”
I quirked my lips to one side. That was a pretty understated reaction to words that felt like I’d had to force them out. He grinned in response, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around my waist. “Thank you for apologizing. You put us through hell, crazy girl.”
“But you aren’t mad?”
He rested his jaw on top of my head, even though he had to hunch over to wrap me up like this. “I was never mad so much as freaking terrified. But for men, that usually plays like mad. What would I do if you got yourself killed?”