by Amy Ruttan
And it was her fault that her family was no longer here.
Maazin pulled into the driveway.
And Jeena cried silent tears as she looked up at the house. The vines still grew on the outside. They weren’t vanilla orchids, just plain orchids that her mother loved. The stone path was the same and there was the swing on the big old banyan tree that was said to have grown up through an original post of the first home that had been built when her ancestors had first come here from India in the seventeenth century.
It was all the same. Untouched.
Except it really wasn’t the same. Her family wasn’t here. It was her home, but the heart of it was gone. It seemed so lonely. So cold.
“Shall we go inside?” Maazin asked softly.
“Yes.”
Maazin unlocked the door and stood back, letting her go in first. There were some changes, mostly modernizing to accommodate tourists, but the layout was still the same. Jeena closed her eyes and swore that she could hear her father singing as he came home from a long day in the fields.
She could smell her mother’s cooking on the stove. The aroma of her saffron rice wafting in the air. And then the memory of her family frantically packing all their belongings, their sadness as they’d left this house for the very last time.
Jeena climbed the stairs to the room at the top that had been hers. It was no longer her childhood room, but had been converted into a loft space with a gorgeous balcony. A romantic getaway for lovers overlooking the vanilla fields. She opened the balcony doors and walked outside. The sun was setting in the west.
Shades of red and orange reflected off the blue water that lay beyond the rolling green hills filled with flowering vanilla. She could see the path to the creek where she’d almost drowned. And then she saw it, the palace in the distance. She’d forgotten that she would be able to see it from up here. When she’d been a child she’d dreamed of being a princess and wondering what it was like to live in such a palace.
Now she knew and she didn’t want that.
Don’t you? If you had it you could have Maazin.
It was all too surreal. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging herself because she was overwhelmed. She’d never thought that she would be back here, that she would be able to see her childhood home again.
“I did make this change to your room. I’m sorry,” Maazin said from the door, interrupting her thoughts.
“It’s okay,” she said, glancing back at him. “You’ve done a beautiful job and I’m thankful you kept so much the same.”
He stood behind her. “I didn’t want to change anything too much. I so wanted you to come back.”
She looked up at him and her heart began to beat faster. “I wanted to come back too.”
He touched her cheek, brushing his thumb across her skin. “I cared for you, Jeena. I still do.”
“Maazin, don’t say that.”
“I can’t help it, Jeena.”
“Maazin, I... I cared for you too.” A tear slid down her cheek. And it was true. She did.
I still love you.
Only she didn’t say it out loud. She was terrified how quickly she’d let him back in.
“Jeena,” he whispered.
“I know that you can’t make a commitment to me and I have to leave again.” And even though she knew she shouldn’t, she just wanted this one night with him. This one last night to lay the ghosts to rest. To have the closure she needed, so that she could return to Canada and know that her life here was over. And there would be no pull, nothing to lure her back.
“I want you, Maazin. Please.”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, very intensely.
His touch felt so good. She’d forgotten how wonderful it felt to be wrapped up in Maazin’s strong arms. How safe he made her feel. How he made her body sing with pleasure. When she was with him everything else melted away. There was only the two of them.
Jeena wanted to forget all the pain, the loneliness, the anger she’d felt these last ten years. For once she wanted to feel like her old self again. She wanted to feel like that girl who had been swept off her feet by her Prince Charming.
She wanted to taste passion again. Hot, heady, sweet passion.
She wanted Maazin. He was all she’d ever wanted and if she couldn’t have him forever then she wanted this one night.
Jeena melted into that kiss, pressing her body against him.
“Jeena,” Maazin whispered huskily. “Are you certain?”
“Yes.” She ran her hands down his chest, feeling his heart beating under her palm. It was racing, just like hers. “Please just be with me. Be with me tonight for one last time.”
Maazin gave in with a moan and took her in his arms, scooping her up as he’d done ten years ago on Patang Island. He carried her from the balcony into the room toward the bed.
Jeena’s pulse was racing with anticipation over what was going to happen. She had missed this. She’d missed this intimacy, this connection that she had with him.
They sank onto the mattress together, kissing. His hands were in her hair. She wanted to just feel him pressed against her.
No words were needed because she knew that at this moment they both wanted the same thing.
Each other.
The kiss ended only so they could both undress each other, slowly, kissing in between because Jeena didn’t want to break the connection between them. She didn’t want to miss any stolen moment together.
“Jeena, I wanted you the moment I met you,” Maazin whispered against her ear. “I still want you.”
“I wanted you too.” She was terrified of opening herself up to him. To be vulnerable to him again.
It was different this time, though.
Are you certain of that?
Jeena shook that thought from her head and let herself melt into the moment.
She wanted this.
They lay next to each other, both exposed and naked. She couldn’t get enough of touching him, feeling his muscles ripple under her fingertips, running her hands over his skin and through his hair, but the most heady feeling was having his strong hands on her again.
Caressing her and making her body heat like it had been touched by electricity.
Maazin kissed her again, his lips urgent as he pulled her body flush with his.
This was it.
This was the moment. He pressed her against the mattress. His hands entwined with hers, his body so large over her she felt safe wrapped up in his arms.
Maazin gave her a kiss that seared her very soul. The warmth spread through her veins and then his lips moved from her mouth down her neck, following the erratic pulse points under her skin.
She let out a mewl of pleasure.
She wanted him inside her. Badly.
He stroked her cheek and kissed her gently again, his lips nipped softly at hers, one hand on her breast and the other stroking her between her legs. Desire coursed through her. It was overwhelming to let herself go with him.
Letting these wild emotions that she’d bottled up for so long come loose again.
He kissed her deeply as he entered her. She cried out as he slowly filled her, wanting more of him.
She couldn’t get enough of him.
She wrapped her legs around him, urging him to go even deeper, to take all of her. To completely possess her.
Everything else, all her worries, her pain, her heartache melted away in that moment that the two of them connected again. It felt so right to be with him, yet it was wrong, but she didn’t care right now.
It was just the two of them moving together in complete bliss.
It wasn’t long before both of them came, close together in shared pleasure. A tear slid down her cheek as it ended.
Maazin wiped it away. “Did I hurt you?”
&nbs
p; “No, no it’s just... I don’t want it to end.”
He kissed her. “Neither do I.”
He held her close and when he rolled over on his back, he brought her against him. His arm around her, holding her tight as if he was afraid to let her go. Jeena didn’t mind. She clung to him just as tightly and she was just as terrified that he would let her go as well.
It frightened her that he still had this hold on her.
The Prince she could never have.
* * *
Beautiful.
She was so beautiful. Maazin couldn’t believe that it had happened again. He couldn’t believe that he was here, lying in Jeena’s arms again. It was what he’d dreamed about time and time again, but had never thought would be a reality.
And he was so glad that it had happened, but he was worried about what this meant.
He wasn’t sure that Jeena even wanted him in her life.
Or would want him to live in Canada. If he gave up his place in the line of succession he was pretty sure it would kill his father. And then he couldn’t help his people.
Also, the winter and the cold did not sound appealing in the least bit.
It would be worth it to be with her, wouldn’t it?
It would be, but he couldn’t leave Kalyana. He couldn’t do that to his father, his mother or his brother. He’d promised Sara too that he would help with her education plans.
And why did he deserve happiness? He didn’t.
Yes, you do.
And he wasn’t even sure that Jeena wanted him. She’d wanted him this night, but she’d told him it was just for this one night.
He was torn.
Maazin slowly moved and got out of the bed. He pulled on his trousers and headed out on the balcony to enjoy the night breeze. The sky was clear and full of stars. He could see the distant glow of Huban and the palace all lit up.
Usually, he didn’t mind looking at Huban lit up at night, but tonight he resented that he had been born to this life. He felt so trapped.
And he was selfish for thinking that way. Ali had never thought that way. Ali had been such a good brother and good son to their parents. He would’ve made a great king, but they would never know that now, thanks to him.
When will you stop blaming yourself for that?
Maazin turned his back on the palace and looked at Jeena, sleeping so soundly in the bed. There had been times in the ten years they’d been apart and his heart had been broken over losing her that he’d wished that he’d never met her. And he had no doubt that she’d felt the same way too.
But now he was glad that she did. Even if he couldn’t have her forever, he was glad to be with her here at this moment.
He checked his phone and there were a few messages from Farhan.
Father is stable. Where are you? Where is Dr. Harrak?
Maazin didn’t even bother responding. He’d told the security guards that he was taking a Jeep and going out to the plantation and that was all anyone needed to know. He was glad his father was stable, and that he was asking about the doctor who had performed the surgery.
All very good signs. Unless...unless his father found out he was romantically involved with Jeena and he was worried that Maazin would blow the secrecy about his engagement to Meleena being over. Perhaps Farhan had told their father about Syman.
If Jeena learned that his father knew about Syman she might flee again, and then he would never know his son.
Do you want to know him? Does he want to know you?
He knew deep down that his people would love Jeena, just as they loved Sara. And they’d be thrilled about Syman.
It was all just a dream, though. A fantasy he couldn’t have, that he was afraid to have.
The sound of a phone vibrating on silent caught his attention and he noticed that Jeena had dropped her purse on the balcony floor. He picked it up and found her phone. When he touched it, it unlocked and a little boy’s face looked up at him.
Oh, God. What have I done?
“You’re not my mom,” Syman said, confused.
“No. I’m not. Your mother is sleeping and... I heard her phone ringing.”
The boy cocked his head to look at him better. “Who are you?”
“I am...” Maazin trailed off. He wanted to tell Syman that he was his father, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t his place. “I am Prince Maazin of Kalyana and you must be Jeena’s son, Syman.”
“Wow. A real prince? For real?”
“Yes,” Maazin said, smiling. “Your mother has been helping out in her home country.”
“I know.”
Maazin could not stop staring at the boy. He saw himself in that face, but there were pieces of Ali and Farhan too.
“Well, I just wanted to speak to Mom, but if she’s sleeping...” Syman trailed off as someone in the background called him. “Just talking to a prince, Grandpa. It’s okay. Mom is sleeping.”
There was some rushed talking in the background and Syman looked confused.
“Oh, Prince Maazin, my grandpa wants to talk to you, is that okay?”
Maazin’s heart skipped a beat. “Very much okay. I will tell your mother you called.”
“Okay. Here’s my grandpa.”
Syman’s face was replaced by Mr. Harrak’s and he was stunned to see Maazin.
“Your Highness,” he said sternly. “Where is my daughter?”
“Sleeping. She worked very hard today on my father. The King.”
Mr. Harrak’s eyes widened. “What?”
“My father almost died today, Mr. Harrak, and your daughter performed a medical procedure on him at the palace. She’s tired.”
“She should not have been at the palace,” he said worriedly. “I am sure you know why.”
“I do now and I aim to find out what truly happened.”
Mr. Harrak didn’t look convinced. “My daughter has a tender heart. Please, Your Highness. Don’t hurt her again.”
“I don’t want to do that, Mr. Harrak.”
“We all know you are to marry Lady Meleena.”
Maazin sighed. “I will not hurt her and I want to show you something.” He turned the phone around. “Do you see it?”
“It’s pretty dark...” Mr. Harrak said. “Is that vanilla? Is that...?”
“It’s your plantation.” Maazin turned the phone back again. “I own it and I will return it to your family.”
“You don’t need to do that, Your Highness.”
“I think I do.”
Mr. Harrak said nothing at first. “Thank you.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Harrak.”
“Your Highness.”
Maazin ended the call and hadn’t realized how much he’d been shaking. How sweaty his palms had become and how he’d crossed a line he hadn’t intended to.
“Who were you talking to?”
Maazin spun around and saw that Jeena had got dressed again and was standing in the balcony doorway, her arms crossed, and she didn’t look too pleased.
“Your father.” Maazin held out the phone.
Jeena took it from him. “You weren’t talking only to my father. You were talking to Syman. This is his number. You were talking to our son? Why did you answer my phone? You had no right to do that.”
“He’s my son too,” Maazin stated. “I went to get the phone to hand it to you, it unlocked and I accidentally answered it. I did not tell Syman that I am his father. Though I think he should know.”
“He should, but are you going to be there for him?”
It was a valid question and he was stunned. Also, he was afraid. He didn’t know the answer, he didn’t have an answer for her.
Jeena looked unconvinced and she went through her messages. She frowned. “My flight home leaves in six hours.”
“Six hours?” Maazin asked,
his heart sinking. “I thought you had a few more days.”
“The flight was bumped up. No doubt your father has regained his full faculties.”
“Why do you think my father had a hand in this?” Maazin asked, confused.
“He knows about Syman! He knows about my son.”
“Our son,” Maazin corrected her.
Her eyes narrowed. “Would you want to keep around the former lover who bore your playboy son’s illegitimate child? No, you’d ship her off so she didn’t further endanger the reputation of the monarchy. You’d send her away and not have the scandal. Especially when the world thinks that son is still engaged to another woman!”
“You make my father sound like a despot. He’s not. A bit of a stickler for tradition, but not a despot.” It was a bad attempt at trying to lighten the mood and it only annoyed her further.
“Don’t make light of this.”
“I’m not. I’m telling you he had nothing to do with your orders being rescinded.”
“Okay. Fine, but I’m still a threat to this secret.” Jeena sighed, she shook her head. “I have to get back to my team. We have to pack to leave. You need to take me back to Huban.”
“Jeena, we need to talk about this.”
“What is there to talk about? I’m endangering the secret. I have to leave.”
Maazin was stunned. “What’re you talking about? I still don’t understand how he’d know you or Syman. I didn’t tell him.”
“He knew me.”
“He’d had sedation. People handle sedation in a very peculiar manner.”
She shook her head. “He said my name and asked about my son that plays ice hockey. He knows about my son. How?”
“That I don’t know.”
Jeena sighed. “It’s for the best I leave.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Can you promise me anything?”
“You said we didn’t need to promise each other anything.”
“Why do you push everyone away?”
“You’re doing the same thing,” he snapped.
“I’m protecting my son.”
“Our son.”
Jeena sighed sadly. “You think you don’t deserve happiness, but you do.”
“I don’t! It’s my fault Ali is dead. I don’t deserve happiness. My family can’t bear to be around me. They look at me and are reminded of it all. I’m the shame of the royal family. I have to do what they want, I took away too much.”