“Oh, good.” Nancy sank against Hannah, grasping her as if she were a lifeline.
Hannah’s gaze coupled with Jacob’s. Everything would be fine now. He would take care of Nancy.
And he could take care of you.
The thought astonished Hannah. She looked away. Her feelings for Jacob were more than friendship.
“You aren’t mad at me?” Nancy snuggled under her covers with her doll tucked next to her.
Hannah smoothed the girl’s bangs to the side. “No. I think you realize how dangerous it can be to wander off by yourself, especially when no one knows where you are.”
“I thought I could take Abby for a walk. I thought if you saw how good I can take care of her, you’d let me keep her.”
“That’s a decision we’ll all make at the family meeting tomorrow night. There’s a cat Susie would like, and Gabe wants one of Abby’s brothers.”
“That’s great! Abby won’t be alone. She’ll have playmates.”
“No, it isn’t great. We can’t have a house full of children and pets.”
“Why not?”
“Well…” Hannah couldn’t come up with a reason Nancy would understand. The little girl wouldn’t accept the answer that a lot of animals running around wouldn’t work. All of a sudden Hannah wasn’t looking forward to the family meeting tomorrow night.
“How’s your ankle?”
Nancy plucked at her coverlet. “It still hurts a little.”
Hannah leaned down and kissed the child’s forehead. “Thankfully it wasn’t broken. You should be better in a week or so.”
“Yeah, Dr. Jacob told me that. I like him.”
So do I. “Good night.” Hannah rose, tucked Nancy’s roommate in, then quietly made her way to the door.
In the hallway she heard Jacob talking to Andy and Gabe. Earlier he’d rounded up the boys and got them ready for bed while she had taken care of the girls. As though they were a team—a family.
Hannah crossed the large living room to the picture window and stared at the darkness beyond. In the distance she saw the lights of Peter and Laura’s house. Life was back to normal.
Who was she kidding?
There was nothing normal about her life at the moment. She’d discovered today she was falling in love with an enemy of her family—the man who was responsible for her brother’s death.
Among all the feelings tumbling around in her mind, guilt dominated. What would her mother say if she ever found out? Mom hadn’t mentioned Jacob Hartman in years, but Hannah could just imagine what her reaction would be.
Hannah shivered as if the cold weather that had swooped down on Cimarron City in the past few hours had oozed into the cottage, into her bones.
This was one problem she’d never thought she would have. How could they overcome the history between them. They both deserved a family—but together?
A sound of footsteps behind her warned her she wasn’t alone. In the pane she glimpsed Jacob approaching. She tensed. Then she caught sight of his smile and melted, all stress flowing from her.
He grasped her upper arms and pulled her back against him. “For the time being all’s quiet on the home front.”
The use of the word home in connection with Jacob sent a yearning through her she hadn’t thought possible where he was concerned. He had so much to offer a woman.
But how could she be that woman?
His breath washed over her as he nibbled on the skin right below her ear, undermining all the defenses she was desperately trying to erect against him.
“After the day we had with Nancy’s disappearance and our vigorous bike ride, I should be exhausted. But I’m not. I’m wide-awake.”
How could this man affect her with that husky appeal in his voice? When had her feelings for him changed? The moment she had forgiven him? Or before?
He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Cold?”
The humor in his question told her he knew exactly the effect he was having on her every sense. Goose bumps zipped through her, and if he hadn’t been holding her up, she would have collapsed against him. “It’s dropped at least twenty degrees in the last hour.”
“Outside. Not in here.”
He swept her around so she faced him, only inches from her. “I don’t think it’s going to snow.”
Why was he talking about the weather when his mouth was a whisper away from hers? She balled her hands to keep from dragging his lips to hers. “If it does, it won’t stick. The ground’s too warm.” And now she was discussing weather!
“Yes, too warm,” he murmured right before settling his lips on hers.
As her arms wound about him, he pressed her close. She soared above the storm, high in the sky. Nothing was important but this man in her embrace.
When he finally drew back slightly, their ragged breaths tangled, the scent of peppermint teasing her. She would never look at a piece of that candy and not remember his kiss.
“I’d better go. It’s been a long day, and I have to be at church early tomorrow.” His fingers delved into her curls, his gaze penetrating into hers.
“Yes, I’m helping out in the nursery tomorrow, so I need to get everyone moving earlier than usual.”
“You want me to come to the family meeting in the evening?”
She nodded, aware of his hands still framing her face as though leaving his imprint on her. “I’m new at the family-meeting stuff so I may need your help to get it right.”
“Say that again.” His mouth quirked into a lopsided grin.
She playfully punched his arm. “You heard me.”
“Yes, but I like hearing you say you might need my help to get it right. I may never hear that again from your lips.” The second he said the word lips his gaze zeroed in on hers.
She tingled as though his mouth still covered hers. When he lifted his regard to her eyes, a softness entered his that nearly undid her. In that moment she felt so feminine and cherished.
Pulling completely away, Jacob swallowed hard. “Seriously I’ll help you anytime you need it. Just ask.”
“I know.” Bereft without him near, she meant every word. He was a good, kind man who had made a mistake when he was young. She realized that she could forget the past now in addition to forgiving him. Peace blanketed her in an indescribable feeling, underscoring the rightness of what she was doing.
He backed farther away. “I can find my own way out. See you tomorrow.”
She watched him stride out of the room. Turning back to the window, she glimpsed him descend the porch steps and make his way to his car.
Tomorrow she needed to go to her brother’s grave and put an end to any lingering guilt. And tonight she needed to call her mother and tell her about Jacob Hartman’s involvement in the refuge. She wanted to move on with her life.
Hannah made her way to her room and sat on her bed, reaching for the phone on the table nearby. Her hand quivered as she lifted the receiver and punched in her mother’s number. She hadn’t really talked to her in over a month. On Thanksgiving, her mother had been working and hadn’t stayed on the phone for more than a minute.
“Mom, how’s everything going?” Hannah asked when her mother picked up.
“Busy. Busy. You know how this time of year people seem to get sicker. My floor at the hospital has been packed this past week.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Her palms sweaty, Hannah shifted the receiver to the other ear. She didn’t know how to tell her mother about Jacob. This was really something she needed to do in person. She thought about ending the conversation quickly and waiting until she could see her.
“It’s late, honey. Is something wrong?”
Yes, I’m falling in love with a man you hate. “Since I didn’t get to talk to you for long on Thanksgiving, I thought I would check in and see how things were going.”
“Hannah, what are you not telling me? Something’s wrong. I hear it in your voice.”
Chewing on her lip, Hannah wiped one of her palms on
her slacks. “Are you coming to see me at Christmas?”
There was a long pause, then her mother answered, “I don’t know. It will depend on when I have to work. Why?”
“Because I want to see you.” Because I’m stalling. She rubbed the other hand down her thigh. “Jacob Hartman is a doctor who lives in Cimarron City.” Before she lost her nerve, she rushed on, “He’s the doctor for the refuge, so I’ve seen him quite a bit.”
“Jacob Hartman, the boy who killed Kevin?”
“Yes, Mom. I—”
“I can’t believe it. I—” Her mother’s voice roughened. “I—I…”
The line went dead. Hannah stared at the receiver for a few seconds, then called her mother back. She let it ring fifteen times before she finally hung up. She hadn’t handled it well. She should have waited until she’d seen her mother. This news was the kind that should be given to someone face-to-face, the news that she was falling in love with the enemy.
After quizzing the groundskeeper about who was putting flowers at her brother’s grave, Hannah hiked across the cemetery, enjoying the cold, crisp day. Several inches of snow had fallen overnight, but the place looked tranquil, as though the world was at peace. The quiet soothed her, especially after the night spent tossing and turning, going over and over in her head the abrupt conversation she’d had with her mother.
Near her brother’s grave site, she saw a car—Jacob’s new one. Since the groundskeeper had told her Dr. Hartman came once a week to change the flowers, she wasn’t really surprised to see him. She stopped by a large oak and waited for him to leave.
She didn’t want him to see her. The night before she had come to a decision. She needed to tell Jacob who she was, but she wanted to pick the right moment. This wasn’t it. She hadn’t prepared what to say to him. And because it was so important she had to consider carefully how she told him she was Kevin’s younger sister, especially after messing up the phone conversation with her mother the night before.
After removing the old flowers, Jacob filled the vase with the new ones, paused for a moment, his head bowed, then pivoted away and sloshed to his car.
She waited until it had disappeared from view before she trudged to her brother’s tombstone. The bright red roses, stark against the white blanket of snow, were silk. She stooped to finger the petals.
“Kevin, where do I begin?” She fortified herself with a deep gulp of the chilly air. “For so many years I was mad at Jacob Hartman for taking you away from us. I believed he had gone on with his life as though nothing had happened, living happily and unaffected by the wreck. Now I don’t think that.”
She reached out and traced her brother’s name, chiseled in the cold marble. The dates carved into the stone were a permanent reminder of his death at a young age. She rose.
“The groundskeeper said he comes every week. That isn’t the action of a man who has moved on. Occasionally I’ve caught a vulnerability in him that has stunned me. He’s good at hiding it, but it’s there. Is it a coincidence he became a doctor? Was it because he wanted to or because that had been your dream?”
Her throat closed around her last word. The cold burrowed into her. She hugged her coat to her. “I think the Lord brought me back to Cimarron City to help Jacob. It was time to let go of my anger and forgive Jacob. I have. For the longest time I’d forgotten what kind of person you were. You would have wanted me to forgive him long ago. Better late than never.” She smiled. “You know how stubborn I can be.”
Hannah touched the tombstone again, comforted by her visits to Kevin’s grave. Was Jacob? She hoped so because after twenty-one years she finally felt she had said her goodbyes to her brother and he didn’t blame her for telling on him that last day. Kevin had never held a grudge; she had forgotten that. “I love you. I love him. I will find a way to help him heal, and I will make Mom understand. I know that’s what you would want me to do.”
“I like your new old car,” Hannah said as she took a bite of her pepperoni pizza early Wednesday afternoon. “How come you didn’t get a brand-new one? I thought you would after that piece of jun—”
“Hold it right there,” Jacob interrupted her. “You’re speaking about a vehicle that served me well for years.”
“And years.”
His chuckles vied with the lunch crowd noise in the restaurant. “Okay. I get the point. It was an old rattletrap.”
“There. That wasn’t too hard to admit, was it?”
He snagged her look. “Yes. I thought I was being frugal.”
“Is that why you didn’t buy a new one?”
“It’s hard to break a habit. I’ve been so used to saving to pay off my loans that I just automatically do it.”
“You’ve got to enjoy some of the fruits of your hard work. Have a little fun.”
“Are you telling me I don’t know how to have fun?”
“Well, no, not exactly, but what do you do for fun?”
“Bicycling?”
“That’s recent.”
“Let me see.” He peered up at the ceiling and tapped his finger against his chin.
“Just as I suspected. You work too much and play too little.”
A twinkle glinted in his dark eyes. “And what do you suggest I do about that?”
“Why, of course, play more. I think you should join us in decorating the cottage for Christmas.”
“Sounds like work to me.” Jacob finished the last slice of pizza.
“Decorating is fun.”
“You’re a woman.”
“I’m glad you noticed,” Hannah said with a laugh.
“It’s in your genes.”
“The kids wanted me to ask you.”
“Oh, in that case I’ll be there. What time?”
“Hold it right there. I think I’m offended. You wouldn’t come when I asked, but I say something about the children and you’re wanting to know what time to be there.” She exaggerated a pout.
“I was going to come. I was just playing with you. Didn’t you tell me I needed to play more?”
The mischief in his gaze riveted her. “I do believe you might be easy to train—I mean, teach.”
His laughter filled the space between them, linking them in a shared moment. All of sudden the noise, the crowd faded from her awareness as she stared at Jacob, relaxed, almost carefree.
“Hannah, Dr. Hartman, it’s good to see you two.”
Reluctantly, Hannah looked away from Jacob. “It’s nice seeing you, Lisa. How’s the job?” Lisa had been the reason she had insisted on coming to the Pizzeria to eat before they went to see Nancy’s mother.
“It’s only my third day, but I like it. I saw ya from the back and wanted to say hi.”
Jacob wiped his mouth with the paper napkin. “Noah told me he hired you to fill in where needed.”
“Yeah, I’m learnin’ all the jobs.” She squared her shoulders, standing a little taller. “There’s quite a few I hafta learn, but I can do it.”
“Great! I was just asking Jacob to come out on Saturday afternoon to help decorate the cottage for Christmas. If you aren’t working, I’d love for you to join us, too.”
“I hafta be here at five that evening.”
“I can bring you back into town in time for your shift.” Jacob picked up the check. “And I’ll give you a ride to the farm. I can pick you up at one on Saturday.”
“I’ll be ready.” Lisa glanced back at the counter. “I’d better get back to work.”
“I know how you feel about Lisa being in Andy’s life. That was so sweet of you,” Hannah said around the lump in her throat.
“Believe it or not, I would love for this to work out for Lisa and Andy.”
“But you still don’t think it will?”
“I just don’t see it through rose-colored glasses.”
“And I do?”
He looked her directly in the eye. “Yes, and I’m afraid you’ll be hurt when it doesn’t work out.”
Hannah rose. “I’m not wrong abo
ut Lisa. Did you see her at church on Sunday?”
“She was like a deer caught in headlights.”
“I realize it was all new to her. But God has His ways.” She could still remember when she’d pledged her heart to the Lord. The transformation, a work in progress, was life altering.
Jacob removed his wallet and laid some money on the table. “Only time will tell.” At the door he held it open for her. “C’mon, let’s get this over with.”
“I know Nancy’s mother is a long shot, but I’ve got to try.”
“Are you going to do this with every situation?”
She slid into the passenger seat in his car. “I will examine and evaluate every one to see if there’s a way.”
He gave her a skeptical look as he started the engine. “I hope you don’t end up with your heart broken.”
She was beginning to realize he was the only one who could do that. “Don’t worry about me.”
“But I do.”
“That’s sweet, but I’m tough.”
“Yeah, right. You’re like Nancy. You wear your heart on your sleeve.”
She shifted, sitting up straight. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“As long as things work out.”
“Like at the family meeting Sunday night?”
“Exactly.” Jacob turned onto the highway that led to Deerfield. “You’re blessed with the fact the kids in the cottage care about each other.”
Hannah remembered the happiness on Nancy’s face when the children voted for Abby to be their pet. “Like a family.”
“Not any family I’ve been in.”
The vulnerability, always below the surface, trickled into his words and pricked her heart.
Chapter Ten
Jacob pulled onto the dirt road. “I don’t like the looks of this.”
Hannah scanned the yard of the address she had for Nancy’s mother. Trash littered the porch and literally poured out of a refrigerator without its door. Two old cars in various stages of rusting decomposition flanked the detached garage. The structure leaned to the side, threatening to crash down on the vehicle minus its engine.
Heart of the Family Page 12