“Sarah, what is it? What’s happened?”
She didn’t speak. She gave John the letter. He would have to read the words himself.
Dearest Sarah,
I pray your health has returned fully. I’m leaving for Anchorage. When I clear up the files there, I’m leaving for Washington DC. The FBI has offered me a position. I look forward to a new and exciting challenge.
I write you this short note to wish you well. Sometimes the misfortunes we survive leave us changed forever. I hope your experiences over the last year will not haunt you unduly, for you deserve so much more.
Wishing you all the best,
Steven
Sarah did not react to the letter, not the way John expected her to—she worried him. She was pulling away again. He quickly explained Emma’s words, how Steven had arrived to stop her arrest. John explained the evidence they found in her attic, and Terry’s intent.
“Steven never believed it. He wanted to keep you safe. He called me just before they flew out of Anchorage. He let George Steiner know, too, but, by the time he got here, Karen had already found you. Don’t believe what you read. He never doubted you. You know me. I wouldn’t lie to you.” Although John could not figure out why he was defending the heel.
She was too calm. “I don’t blame him. Karen had me convinced. She was diabolical, determined. For heaven’s sake, I admired her, I trusted her. I made her the CEO of Michael’s foundation. Yeah, I’m a good judge of character.”
“She fooled all of us. No one, not one person, flagged Karen for any of this. Hell, Joe is shattered. He was in love with her. It’s really done a number on him. The man known for his ability to read people. So don’t go blaming your radar. Don’t take on any more guilt. You’ve a lot of work ahead of you. Getting beyond this won’t happen overnight. So, please, no blame. None.”
“I know, you’re right. But, now, in retrospect, I can see so much of it and wonder how I missed it.”
“We’re all doing that, believe me, no one more than Steven. He’s taken quite a hit in the press.” There John was defending him again, when all he really wanted to do, was kick Steven’s ass. Damn you, Quaid, what the hell is your problem? You said you loved this girl!
“It’s such a waste, so many lives, so much pain, and for what? Has anyone figured out why?”
“Unrequited love, my dear, unrequited love,” he explained.
Sarah sighed deeply. “I’ll be all right. But I’ve lost him, and Karen isn’t responsible. I am. I don’t blame him, I can’t. Please don’t blame him. I’m okay with his choice, really.”
She pleaded for compassion for a man John no longer respected. Introducing them had been his doing, and his mistake. John did blame Steven, and he would tell him so, after he showed him, and this time he would not hesitate to throw the first blow. This time there would be no words. John held her close; even though her eyes remained tearless, he wanted to offer comfort—in a comfortless world.
May 14th
arah was up with the sun, and watched as it rose majestically over the mountains. She felt its warmth and light, and wanted desperately to capture the beauty on her canvas, along with the birds singing morning melodies to their young, and the butterflies that flirted with the wildflowers. The deep blue of the sky, the dark green of the trees, and the multicolored flowers, filled Sarah’s world with the color that had been absent for so long from her life. Each morning, the first sliver of sunlight found her at her easel, trying to fill a canvas with the beauty of the Idaho mountainside.
The morning after receiving Steven’s note, she packed her bags, and John drove her east. She needed to heal, to get away from Seattle and Anchorage, where her memories were fresh. John brought her to his cabin in the mountains, a quiet peaceful place for rest, relaxation, and reflection—
an answer to a prayer.
When they drove in to Idaho, she knew she had arrived at the right place to rebuild her life. The terrain was brown and rough, the weather was sunny and warm, and even the colors in a blossoming spring made Idaho an ideal place to begin again. John’s large A-frame cabin in the hills above the Snake River gave Sarah the opportunity to find the peace she craved.
The physical scars had healed, but the emotional scars needed more time. Impatient to get on with life, Sarah refused to let her nightmares dictate what she painted, although frequent flashbacks caused her to relive the horror. She no longer denied her pain and discovered living with guilt required less strength, but more faith.
Her neighbors, John’s parents, had a cabin just a few miles down the mountain. John left her in their care and flew back to Seattle to finish his investigation. The area was privately owned and secure, and John had assured her he would have two men on guard throughout her stay. She was safe, and John’s parents and the armed guards would make sure.
While glad to have the security, Sarah was also glad for the seclusion. She thought all she needed was music, art, fresh air, sun-filled days, and complete solitude. When she let her mind wander, though, she imagined Steven down at the river catching rainbow trout for dinner. She still dreamed of them walking down the aisle together, and the honeymoon she would never have. Painful daydreams brought tears, and Sarah allowed their release, although she could not force creativity.
She failed to paint anything but what she felt. The flowers appeared a bit wilted, the sky never came out blue, a summer rain became a ferocious storm, and the warmth of a bright sun became an arid desert heat that shriveled the greenery. No matter what changed about her life, her emotions still influenced her art.
When she was the loneliest, she filled her mind with visions of Steven, and then she would paint for hours. She painted him—strong, determined, sensitive, loving, and laughing. With her brushes, or with charcoal, he was with her daily, but still she fought her loneliness.
A knock at the door startled her, but joy replaced anxiety when she saw Eddie, smiling on the other side.
“Come in, come in.” She hugged him tightly. “What a nice surprise. You look wonderful.”
“Talk about wonderful. I like the new look.”
Sarah twirled to show off her shorter haircut.
“I needed a change.”
“You look beautiful—younger.”
“Oh, my, I’d forgotten how good you were at giving compliments. Thanks.” She kissed his cheek. “Now, tell me, what brings you all the way out here? Is John checking up on me?”
“No, he sent me to give you the results from his investigation. He would have been here, but he said he owes Leeann his undivided attention, since he’s been tied up in Seattle for so long.” Eddie settled down on a stool at the kitchen counter and accepted a cup of coffee.
“He better take her someplace special. They’ve both sacrificed so much for me.”
“Are you kidding? Leeann’s thrilled—he agreed to a month away, a cruise on the Mediterranean, and two weeks in Italy. Yeah, she got something special, all right!
“Really, he agreed to all that? Leeann said it’d be one or the other, how’d she manage both?”
“Don’t know, all I’ll say is that woman has her ways. Hell, she’s had him wrapped around her little finger ever since the day they met.” Eddie laughed. “I just hope she doesn’t give lessons to Alexis.”
Sarah giggled.
“They send their love. More important, and the reason I’m here, I have good news. Come on, let’s take this great coffee and go out on the deck. The sun is almost up, and the view is breathtaking. Let’s enjoy it.”
They went out on the deck, admired the sunrise, and enjoyed their coffee. After they settled down at the table, Eddie took her hands in his.
“When you’re ready, I’ll fill you in.”
“All set.” She tried to sound optimistic.
“First: Karen did have a child, a girl named Molly. She died at the age of four months from a heart defect, and her father was Josh Dunlop. Here’s a copy of her birth certificate.” He handed her the document.
<
br /> “Thank you,” she whispered, fighting back tears. The knowledge Michael had not fathered a baby with Karen, was joy beyond words.
“Also, Karen is solely responsible for Michael’s death, but she and Gerry worked together on the others until Gerry died. You were supposed to go over the cliff, and the letter from Gerry was supposed to be the proof you killed Michael. She made a deal with him. He wouldn’t turn her in for killing Michael if she helped him get you. It’s just as the investigators discovered. She even had a matching red Ford Mustang. She was crazy, Sarah.”
“Yes, crazy, but why kill Michael? Did she hate me that much?”
Eddie took a deep breath then exhaled. “Michael fired her. He overheard her spreading a rumor about you and fired her. But she was pregnant with Molly, and she threatened if he didn’t let her leave quietly, she’d tell you, and the world, that the baby was his. A week later, he was dead.”
“Michael never said a word. He must have been so disappointed. He trusted her. How do you know all this? Did she keep a diary?”
“No, we talked with her brother, Grant Shay. He knew about the firing, but, according to Karen, you wanted her gone. She told him Michael did it because you insisted. We learned from another employee that Karen was behind most all the rumors about you. She claims Karen not only spread most of them, she kept them active. Grant said he knew she had a crush on Michael, some sort of hero worship. He also said Michael never reciprocated, and, when he’d ask Karen why she persisted, she said she wanted to protect Michael from… sorry, women like you.” He squeezed her hand.
“I see.”
“Don’t…”
She gave him a small smile. “I’m all right. Go on.”
“Good, stay that way! Karen’s only motive was jealously. You couldn’t have prevented Michael’s death. Grant believes Molly’s death pushed her over the edge. You became her scapegoat, the person she blamed for all her troubles because Michael loved you, not her, and if she couldn’t have him, neither could you. Somehow, Gerry figured Karen for the murder, and they became partners in crime. She went mad, he thought he was in love, and the result was murder.”
“I can’t believe two people could be so broken to cause such heartache and horror.”
“I know, it’s senseless, but murder for money, for jealousy, or anger—no reason is acceptable.”
“You’re right.”
“Here’s a letter from Karen’s brother, Grant Shay. He wanted to apologize personally, and explain Karen a little better. John’s read it, and he leaves the choice to you.” He handed her the envelope. “He wasn’t sure if you were ready for her story, but he wanted you to have it.”
“I’ll wait.” She placed the letter on the table.
“Understandable. And, last but not least, is a letter from John.” He handed her a second letter. “Oh, and just in case you’re interested, Chase left for Europe after he was cleared. He’s taking his daughter on an around-the-world tour.”
“Yes, I know. Christine sent me a postcard from Germany.”
“Well, there you have it. Any questions?”
“No. Thank you.” She got up from the table, kissed him on the cheek, and moved to the edge of the balcony, where the view was unsurpassed. She feigned interest in the vista, while she thought over the news. Relieved and grateful, she wished the report had included word of Steven.
Eddie followed her. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “I’m just a little confused. Now what do I do? Where do I go? I’m not sure about anything anymore. I’ve lost so much.”
“I know, but trust me, it’s all going to be made right. If anyone can start over, it’s you. And there’s only one place to go—home. Besides, you have the Thomas brothers; we’ll always be in your corner.”
“Thank you.” Sarah stepped back, her smile once more in place. “Isn’t there a wedding on the horizon?”
“Christmas day, can you believe it? Alexis wants a Christmas wedding.”
“Sounds beautiful. I can’t wait.”
“When are you coming back? Leeann and Alexis miss you.”
“I don’t know yet. I need more time to sort things out, and, until I can paint a decent sunrise, I don’t plan on leaving. At least until then.”
Eddie looked at his watch. “Listen, Sarah, I hate to drink your coffee and run, but I have another appointment back in town. I have to go, but can I come back for dinner.”
“Of course, dinner is a great idea. And I promise you fresh rainbow trout.” She was surprised he had to leave so suddenly, but glad he was planning to return.
“Great, and I’ll bring the dessert. Cheesecake, right? I’ll see you at seven.”
Eddie ran down the steps and jumped into his Lexus.
Sarah waved until his car was no longer in sight. She poured another cup of coffee, and sat in the sunshine, soaking in the warmth. She was relieved. Eddie had brought her peace. She looked at the two letters on the table and decided not to read the one from Karen’s brother, at least not yet. She wanted to recall all the good memories of her time with Michael, and forget the ones Karen conjured up. She wasn’t ready to feel compassion for Karen. She had forgiven her, but it was too soon to forget. She needed to honor Michael, and her memories of him, before she could give Karen anything else.
Until then, she was not willing to read about how Karen had suffered from an unhappy childhood, a bad self-image, or unrequited love. She picked up the letter from John, hoping for more good news.
Dear Runaway,
I know Eddie’s visit will ease your mind. Grant Shay wanted to tell you in his own words. Don’t rush to read her story. I’ve taken my bride on a second honeymoon to Italy, or I’d be the one eating rainbow trout this evening. I wouldn’t mind a care package, though, if you get the chance!
Something unusual happened, and I thought you might like to know about it. Remember your dream where you thought Michael threw your wedding rings into the ocean? Well, some divers were doing research at the bottom of your cliff, and they recovered a ring—an emerald and diamond ring surrounded by gold. Curious isn’t it?
See you later luv,
John
Sarah read the last paragraph again—Steven’s engagement ring! Before her mouth could say it, her mind replayed the dream. Michael hadn’t appeared in her dream. Steven!
She remembered his words: “I need your forgiveness, your understanding. I let you down, I let myself down…”
“Oh, my god.”
But the ring, they took it away in the hospital? And just as she thought it, she saw it. Steven had returned it to her. They had just moved her out of intensive care to her own room. She was woozy from pain medication, and extremely tired, but Steven put the engagement ring back on her finger.
“I want you to keep this, to wear it, and when you’re ready, when you’re well, we’ll have a real discussion about the future. But, whenever you need me, I’m here Sarah, always.”
She never spoke, but tears had fallen and he had wiped them away. She remembered the feeling of hope it gave her. She also remembered the argument with the nurse who wanted to take it from her.
The memory tumbled forward. She saw Steven on the edge of the cliff and remembered her words and his response. A memory she thought was a dream suddenly became a nightmare. I rejected him. I threw him away.
Her mind was racing. Steven was in Washington. How would she find him? She paced the deck, trying to figure out who to call. John’s on his honeymoon. Think, Sarah, think! What is the best way to do this? She racked her brain for answers.
While she paced, she noticed a man coming up the driveway. She shaded her eyes to get a better look. Dressed in western attire, including a cowboy hat and boots, he carried a fishing pole and had a string full of fresh rainbow trout. She thought it was one of the security men, since they checked in daily with her and one of them wore a cowboy hat. But there was something different about this guy. Halfway up the driveway, he leaned his fishing pole against the fence and
tied his string of fish across it. Then he removed his hat and looked up.
“Steven!”
She moved slowly down the steps, their eyes locked. Steven smiled, and she ran to meet him. They stopped just inches from each other.
“Forgive me?” they said in unison.
He picked her up in his powerful arms and kissed her, a kiss to wipe away all the doubt, fear, and sorrow—forever.
The next book in the Detective Quaid Mysteries series awaits!
Decades ago, the seeds were planted. Today, dark, fathomless eyes rake the image before him.
One final task and the transformation is complete. Steady fingers screw intricately carved horns on each side of a stiff brow, and a gargoyle suitable for Notre Dame scowls from the smokey mirror in satisfaction. A jagged smile rips through his smooth, hairless face, and inked, reptilian scales caress his naked body. A laugh of hideous resonance emanates from his gut as the demons of hell welcome Lucifer into their fold.
In a dungeon-like chamber, his Lilith awaits. The kidnapped daughter of a nun, groomed to fit the final piece in the complex puzzle for world domination. Will Lucifer marry his bride, on the summer solstice?
Only two things stand in his way. His greed...
...and Detective Steven Quaid.
For Terry, Mathew, and Jason, three men who have no choice but to put up with all my idiosyncrasies, thank you. Love you!
A special thank you to Tiffany and Heath Nichols, for their expertise in regards to police procedure. Tiffany works for the Medical Examiner’s office in Florida, and Heath is a Law Enforcement Officer with the State of Florida.
To Barbara Sachs Sloan, my deepest thanks! Her insight and expertise kept me on the straight and narrow.
Now that you have completed this book, we hope you will leave a review so that other readers may benefit from your perspective. Authors like Yolanda Renèe live and die by your reviews, after all!
Murder, Madness & Love (Detective Quaid Mysteries #1) Page 34