by Kelly Favor
Nicole nodded. She’d gotten teary again. “It’s just hard. He takes it out on me sometimes, getting mad at me for doing the wrong thing. I’m just doing the best I can.”
“Well, that’s not okay. He shouldn’t make you feel bad for being yourself. You aren’t being malicious toward him and he needs to handle his own issues.”
“Yeah.” Nicole nodded. She already felt lighter. “Thanks, Danielle. You’re a good friend, you know that?”
“Actually, yes. I do know it.”
“Hey, how are you doing?”
“Can’t complain.”
“No seriously. Tell me what’s been going on with you. I’m sick and tired of dwelling on my own stupid problems,” Nicole laughed.
Danielle laughed too. And then she told her about the guy she’d met last week who’d turned out to be a total jerk. He’d taken her out to a nice dinner and paid for it and pretty much assumed that meant he was at least entitled to a blowjob.
Nicole just thanked her lucky stars that Red wasn’t one of those guys.
Danielle said that it had been hard living in their apartment by herself, and feeling more alone, feeling the lack of a companion in her life.
“I’m going to come back and spend more time with you,” Nicole said. “We’re going to hang out more, I promise.”
“It’s okay,” Danielle said. “I’m doing fine, seriously.”
“I know you’re fine, but I think it would be fun to have a girl’s night—get manicures, get our hair done. Maybe eat ice cream later on and watch bad TV.”
“Sure,” her old roommate laughed.
“Hey, thanks again for listening and for giving such great advice.”
“No problem, Nic.”
Nicole got off the phone, smiling to herself and thinking how lucky she was. Her life was charmed and most of the time she didn’t even appreciate it, she was so wrapped up in the day-to-day silliness of work, and Red’s issues, and their relationship.
Feeling a new sense of purpose, Nicole dried her tears and went back upstairs to talk to Red and apologize for leaving the room that way.
But when she got there, he was gone.
A strange fluttering sensation moved through her stomach. She checked the bathroom and he wasn’t there either.
Next, she walked to the study, hoping against hope that she wouldn’t find him in that damn room again.
Unfortunately, that’s exactly where he was.
“Hey,” she said, watching him as he sat in that same chair near the window, drinking some kind of alcohol. It almost felt like she’d gone back in time.
“Hey,” he replied, not bothering to look at her.
“I’m sorry that I left like that. I should have stayed and tried to work things out, but I just felt upset and overwhelmed.”
“I totally get it,” he said, taking a quick sip from his glass. He swirled the liquid around absentmindedly, still not looking at her.
Nicole came forward into the room. “Are you okay?”
“No, not particularly.”
“What is it? You’re scaring me a little.”
Finally he turned and looked at her. His eyes had circles under them and his expression was pained. “I’m sorry if I’m scaring you, Nicole. You should never have to feel scared. Never.”
“I just want things to go back to normal,” she told him. “Let’s go lay in bed together and laugh and talk and kiss. This is silly.”
“No it’s not.” He shook his head slowly. “I thought a lot about how I’m treating you and I don’t think it’s very good. It’s not what you deserve.”
“You treat me wonderfully. You just have some things to work out.”
“No, it’s way beyond that,” he said. “I’m no good for you, Nicole. I’m a bad guy and anyone who’s with me is going to end up in a bad place sooner or later. I can’t let that happen to you. I care too much about you.”
She walked closer still and tried to touch his shoulder but he pulled away.
“Red, you’re tired and you’re upset. You should sleep on it and then we can talk tomorrow.”
He glanced at her sadly. “Fine,” he said.
She held out her hand. “Come to bed with me.”
“In a minute,” he said softly. Then he went back to staring outside.
She left the study, her stomach doing flips and twists as she tried to understand just what was going on. She told herself things would be better in the morning.
***
When they woke up the next day, Jeb was already gone. He’d left a brief note on the kitchen counter saying that he was sorry if his intrusion had caused any problems, and that he was glad to have met Nicole.
When Nicole showed the note to Red, he barely even glanced at it.
His eyes were red-rimmed and glassy as he drank his morning coffee. “I’ve called a car to come get you,” he said.
She just stared at him. Her stomach sank. “Did you sleep at all last night?”
“Not really.”
“Red, please—you need to get some rest.”
He sipped his coffee. “I’m not going to change my mind on this, Nicole.”
“Why are you intentionally trying to sabotage us?” she said. “After everything we’ve been through?”
“Exactly,” he replied. “We’ve been through too much in such a short time, and let’s be honest. It’s all my fault.”
“That’s not true.”
“But it is. All of these games, all of the hoops I’ve made you jump through, the mental gymnastics. It’s all because of me.” He thought about it and laughed a hollow, despairing laugh. “I’m really just like her.”
“Just like who?” Nicole said, already knowing the answer.
“Just like my mother. The manipulating, the self-obsession. We’re two peas in a pod, her and I.”
“That’s not true. You’re not like her at all. You’re a kind, loving, decent man and I won’t let you talk about yourself that way.”
“Thank you for saying that,” he smiled. The smile didn’t touch his weary eyes.
“But just the same, I’m going to give you the greatest gift I can possibly give you—which is to disappear from your life.”
The tears started now. She wiped them away, angry at herself for being weak again. “This isn’t a gift. You’re taking away the best thing either of us has.”
“You’ll look back in a few months or a year and see that I did you a favor,” he told her. “Now come on. The car is waiting.”
She almost refused to go, but from the look on his face she knew it was no use.
Red had made up his mind.
When she got outside to the car, the driver was already putting her bags in the trunk. Nicole turned toward Red. “Looks like you were all prepared to kick me out. Just like your mother and your brother.”
She saw him flinch a little at her words, and regretted it instantly.
“It’s very different,” he said. “You’ll never possibly know how hard this is for me.
But I care more about your happiness than my own, and you deserve a far better life than I can ever give you.”
“That’s such bullshit,” she told him. The tears were coming again. “You’re just afraid.”
“Not for myself,” he said, taking her arm and gently walking her to the car. “Go on now. And have a wonderful life and remember that there’s someone who will always love you, no matter what.”
“Is this how you show your love?” she cried, getting in the car.
“Someday you’ll look back and understand,” he said, closing the door.
Nicole closed her eyes and didn’t open them again until she was far away.
***
Many things had changed in a single week, Nicole thought as she and Danielle came back from a night out at one of the nearby clubs.
It had been refreshing to go out and just dance with a bunch of drunken girl friends and not think about Red or anything that came along with him.
B
ut still, she thought, entering her old apartment, so much had changed.
Just the other day, she’d seen the report on TV about Red Jameson being fired by his board of directors.
She’d already known about it, of course. The company had had a big meeting a couple of days prior to alert the employees about everything that was happening.
To say that people in the office stared at her funny lately, would have been an understatement. Everywhere she went people gawked now. And sometimes they were even bold enough to ask her what Red was doing, where he was staying, when was the last time she’d talked to him?
Red Jameson was their version of Elvis Presley or Tupac—a celebrity that might be anywhere in the world or nowhere at all.
She told them the truth. She had no clue where Red was now and what he was doing.
The Rag had even run some report on him that claimed he was the new Howard Hughes. Red Jameson had gone completely insane and was now living on a tropical island under an assumed identity with a new face given to him by a willing plastic surgeon.
The sad part of it was, Nicole thought it possible that the article in The Rag was accurate. For all she knew, Red had made sure that he could never be found and would never enter her life again in any way.
Mostly she told herself it was for the best.
But most of the time, Nicole also knew it was a lie. She missed him and she ached for him in every cell of her body—wept for the loss in deepest part of her soul.
Nicole didn’t care if he was crazy, didn’t care if he was bad news. She just knew that she loved him and he loved her, and hoped maybe someday he’d figure out what something like that was truly worth.
Lately though, Nicole had started to feel like the connection might be lost. Lately, she’d started to wonder if the man she thought she loved even truly existed, or ever had existed.
How ironic it was, then, when she and Danielle were home from the dance club, slightly tipsy, getting ready for some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and a little bad reality TV
before bed—that Nicole’s cell phone rang and she instantly knew it had to do with Red.
The connection that she feared was gone, never to return—was as alive as a downed power line, sparking and dancing on an empty street.
Before she even answered, Nicole knew it would be about Red.
“Hello,” she said into the phone, her heart pounding like mad in her chest.
“Hello Nicole,” came the reply. It wasn’t Red, though. It was the man who’d helped destroy him. The voice belonged to Kane Wright.
“Don’t ever call me again,” she rasped. “I don’t know how you got this number—“
“Let’s dispense with the hysterics,” Kane said gently. “I’m calling because I want to see you and speak to you.”
“I don’t have any interest in that,” she said.
“I’ve gone out of my way not to hurt Red Jameson because of you,” came his response in that slightly accented, cultured voice. “But if you disrespect me, I might decide to completely crush the man instead.”
“Isn’t owning his company enough? What more do you want?”
“I think we both know the answer to that, Nicole.”
She bit her lower lip. “What do you want from me?”
“Just a meeting. Agree to meet with me. You don’t have to do anything else.”
Danielle was watching her with wide, concerned eyes.
“So if I meet with you, you’ll leave Red alone?” she said.
“Please, this isn’t some Hollywood film starring Liam Neeson,” he laughed. “I’m not a movie villain, Nicole. The terms are constantly changing and I make no promises.
But if you at least meet with me, there’s a chance for things to work out. And that’s something, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know if it’s worth it.”
“I promise I won’t bite. Give me a few minutes of your precious time, hear what I have to say.”
Nicole swallowed, knowing her answer was probably going to change her life, and possibly Red’s too.
“Yes,” she said.
END OF FOR HIS KEEPING (FOR HIS PLEASURE, BOOK THREE)
PLAY ME HARD
(ALEXIS AND REID, BOOK ONE)
by
Locklyn Marx
Copyright 2011, Locklyn Marx, all rights reserved.
Cha p t e r 1
Reid Lawson was going to kill his brother. There’d been times in the past he’d thought about killing Jack for one thing or another – pyramid schemes, gambling rings, the time Jack tried to use Reid’s name to get a credit card at the GAP – but this. This really took the cake.
“I’m sorry,” Reid said to the girl standing in the hallway in front of his apartment.
He shook his head. “Did you say you’re my new roommate?”
“Yes.” She pushed her blonde hair away from her face and sighed. She seemed exasperated. Not that he blamed her. After all, he’d asked her the same question three times now. “I’m Alexis. Jack didn’t tell you I was coming?”
“No.”
She shook her head and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Why not?”
“I have no idea.” Who knew what the hell his brother was thinking half the time?
Jack was notoriously flakey and couldn’t be relied on for anything. So when he’d told Reid three weeks ago that he was moving out, Reid wasn’t angry. In fact, he was relieved. Jack had shown up in New York a couple of months ago, out of work (again), with no place to live (again), and looking for someone to help him get back on his feet (again.)
Reid had let him stay in his spare room, until last week when Jack announced he was leaving. Apparently Jack had saved enough money from his temp jobs to travel around the country. His first stop was going to be the Napa Valley so that he could
“experience wine country.” He’d been ridiculously excited about it, and kept babbling on about all the different kinds of grapes there were. It was very suspect. Jack had never shown an interest in wine in his life.
“Excuse me for one moment,” Reid said now. “I have to make a phone call.”
“Well, can I come in at least?” Alexis asked incredulously, like he was being rude. Which was pretty fucking nervy, since she was the one knocking on his door at seven in the morning on a random Wednesday, claiming to be his new roommate.
“Oh, sorry, of course,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Come on in.” He thought about being a prick and asking her if she wanted him to whip her up some scrambled eggs while he was at it, but he stopped himself. It wasn’t her fault his brother was a complete screw-up.
She pushed past him and into the apartment, and Reid took the opportunity to check her out. Long blonde hair that fell in soft waves around her shoulders. Sparkling blue eyes. She was wearing a pair of black yoga pants that showed off long legs, but her bulky sweatshirt didn’t give him any idea about what was hiding under there. It was a shame. If there was one thing Reid specialized in, it was blondes. Or brunettes. Hell, just women in general.
Reid walked into his bedroom, shut the door, and immediately dialed Jack.
“’Lo?” Jack said when he answered. In the background, Reid could hear people talking and clapping. Talking and clapping? Where the hell could Jack be at seven in the morning where there was apparently some kind of crowd?
“Where the hell are you?” Reid demanded.
“Out,” Jack said. “What do you want?” Jack got ornery in the mornings, a fact that had led to much strife between the two brothers when they’d been living together.
“What I want is for you to explain to me why there’s a girl named Alexis here who’s claiming to be my roommate.” He opened his bedroom door a crack and peered out. Woman or not, Alexis was a stranger. Reid didn’t like strangers, especially ones who’d been left unattended in his apartment. Who knew what she could be doing out there? Filching things, contaminating things, poking around in his private, personal documents. Not that he had any private, personal docu
ments hanging around out there.
But if he did, she’d probably be looking for them.
“Oh,” Jack said. He seemed to be thinking about it. “Well, she’s a girl.”
“Yeah, thanks for that.” Reid watched through the crack as Alexis started wandering around the apartment. He kept his eyes on her hands just in case she tried to slip something in her pocket. “But what the hell is she doing here?
“You told me to find you a new roommate, so I found you a new roommate.”
“I didn’t tell you to find me a new roommate!”
“Yes, you did. I told you I was leaving, and you said ‘That’s great, Jack, but you know you have to give me thirty days notice and find someone to take over your lease.’”
Reid was speechless. He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a moment, unable to believe what he was hearing. He almost glanced around his room to see if maybe there were hidden cameras. Surely this had to be a joke.
“Jack,” he said slowly. “I was being sarcastic. You don’t have a lease on this apartment. I own this apartment. It’s mine. I bought it. And I didn’t have a roommate before you moved in, so why would I need you to find me a replacement?”
“Oh.” Silence. “Well, I thought it was kind of weird, but I know how you are about these things.”
“How I am about what things?”
“You know, etiquette and things like that. You’re so uptight about it. How was I supposed to know you were joking? I put an ad on Craigslist. Alexis was the first one that answered.”
“And you thought I’d want to live with a girl?”
“Why not?”
“Why would I?”
“Girls are cleaner.”
“I would never live with a woman.” How would he be able to bring women back to the apartment if one was already here? It made no sense.
“Reid, that kind of thing is illegal. It’s called sexual discrimination.”
“Never mind,” Reid said, realizing that he was in an argument over a roommate that he didn’t even need and/or want. “Forget it. I’ll deal with it.” He hung up the phone.