by Mike Sherer
Not!even!Charlie!and!me.!Sure,!they!believe!in!environmental!
causes.! They! recycled! long! before! Seattle! put! a! program! in!
place.!And!they!wrote!a!lot!of!letters!to!encourage!city!council!
to!start!one.!But!they!didn’t!wag!their!fingers!in!your!face!and!
make! you! feel! guilty! if! you! threw! out! a! soup! can! by! mistake.!
They! both! became! vegetarians! to! show! solidarity! with! the!
animal! rights! folks.! But! also! because! their! cholesterol! was! so!
high!their!doctors!told!them!to!give!up!red!meat.!And!they’re!
not!strict!about!it.!They!let!us!eat!whatever!we!felt!like!growing!
up—burgers! and! fries! if! we! wanted—and! they! both! still! eat!
seafood,! cheese,! even! eggs! now! and! then.! They! aren’t! tree6
huggers.”!
!
“Not!militants,!you!mean.”!
!
“Well,!yeah.!No,!I!mean.”!She!heaved!a!sigh.!“I!don’t!know!
what! I! mean.! I! just! can’t! imagine! them! mixed! up! in! anything!
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like!this.!Bad!enough!Charlie!got!shot.!You!get!kind!of!resigned!
to!the!possibility!with!a!cop!in!the!family.!But!people!with!guns!
coming!after!Clayt!and!Connie?!I!just!don’t!get!it.”!
!
“Then!we’re!right!back!where!we!started.”!
!
Worry!creased!her!forehead.!“Drugs?”!!
!
“It’s!the!only!explanation!that!makes!sense.”!
!
She! looked! for! another! one! at! the! bottom! of! her! empty!
cup.!
!
“What! if! those! men! had! the! wrong! place?! What! if! they!
were!looking!for!someone!else?”!Her!brown!eyes!pleaded.!
!
“Then! why! did! your! parents! run?! I’m! sorry,! Sarah,! the!
shooters! came! for! them.! They! pulled! back! as! soon! as! they!
realized! your! folks! had! bolted.! I! heard! them.! They! said,!
‘They’re!not!here.’”!!
!
Her! shoulders! sagged.! She! slumped! in! her! seat.! “Now!
what?”!
!
I! leaned! back! and! crossed! my! ankles,! stroked! my! chin.! “I!
can!ask!questions,!look!around!some,!but!the!cops!are!all!over!
this,! Sarah.! This! is! one! of! their! own! we’re! talking! about.! SPD!
will! ride! herd! on! the! sheriff’s! office! over! on! the! peninsula.!
They’ll!turn!over!every!rock!they!can!find.!See!what!crawls!out.!
Not!much!else!we!can!do!except!wait.!Be!patient.”!
!
“They’re! not! your! parents.”! She! pushed! away! from! the!
table!and!stood,!hands!pressed!so!hard!on!the!laminate!top!her!
fingertips! turned! red.! The! chair! wobbled! and! nearly! tipped!
over.! “Charlie’s! upstairs! with! a! bullet! hole! in! his! chest.! Clayt!
and! Connie! are! on! the! run! from! some! commando! squad,! and!
you! tell! me! to! be! patient?! How! can! you! just! sit! there?! Do!
something!”!
!
“I! saved! Charlie’s! ass! out! there!! Nearly! got! killed.! I’ll! do!
what!I!can!here,!Sarah,!but!you’re!not!helping.!What!the!hell!do!
you!want!from!me?”!
!
She! raised! her! hands,! took! a! step! away,! faced! me! again,!
cheeks!aflame.!“I!don’t!know.! Some thing.!I!…”!
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!
Tears!flowed!instead!of!words.!She!bit!her!lip!and!hurried!
away.!!
!
!
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!
! Chapter(13(
!! A! familiar! looking! blond! cornered! me! in! my! favorite!
morning! coffeeshop.! The! only! one! in! the! neighborhood! open!
for!business!that!early.!Fresh!makeup,!a!light!coat!of!pale!pink!
lip!gloss!that!matched!her!nail!polish,!and!a!well6rested!air!put!
her!out!of!place.!The!restaurant!was!half6filled!with!hollowed6
eyed! night! ghouls! and! adrenalized! early! risers.! All6night!
revelers!quiescent!as!they!came!down!off!whatever!high!they’d!
been!on.!Homeless!kids!who’d!managed!to!panhandle!enough!
change!the!day!before!to!buy!food,!look!for!a!little!warmth!and!
a! glimmer! of! hope.! Coffee6fueled! construction! workers! and!
Seattle! University! students! girding! themselves! for! the! day!
ahead.!!
!
Blondie! leaned! over! the! table.! Nail! tips! lightly! resting! on!
the!shiny!surface.!Waiting!for!an!invitation.!Or!guarding!against!
an!attempted!escape.!
!
“We!need!to!talk,”!she!said.!
!
“An!overrated!concept!this!time!of!day.”!
!
“Mind! if! I! sit?”! She! slid! into! the! opposite! chair! without!
waiting!for!a!response.!!
!
Odors! of! pyrolized! bread,! bacon! and! burnt! coffee!
permeated! the! worn! industrial! carpet! and! cracked! vinyl! seat!
covers.! The! barest! whiff! of! floral! perfume! wafted! across! the!
table.!The!exotic!scent!a!sharp!contrast!to!the!smell!of!grease!
that!coated!windows!and!other!hard!surfaces!with!a!light!haze.!
Reminding!me!how!much!I!wanted!a!hot!shower.!And!sleep.!
!
“How!did!you!find!me?”!
!
“It!wasn’t!hard.”!!
!
“Kiley,!I!don’t—”!!
!
“It’s!Keely.!Keely!Radcliffe.”!
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!
“Keely,! then.! I! don’t! know! what! you! hope! to! accomplish!
following!me!around.”! !
!
“I!want!you!to!help!me.”!
!
“I’m!not!interested.”!
!
Blue!eyes!drilled!several!holes!in!my!resolve.!
!
“I! just! turned! twenty6one! when! my! sister! Jill! died,”! she!
said! in! a! low! voice.! “She! was! twenty6six.! A! grad! student.! In!
engineering.! Unusual! for! a! girl.! At! the! time,! anyway.! But! she!
really!liked!it.!And!she!had!something!to!prove.!Or!thought!she!
did,!I!guess.!She!was!the!oldest.”!
!
A! heavyset! waitress! ambled! toward! our! table,! a! pot! of!
coffee!in!one!hand,!pitcher!of!water!in!the!other.!Keely!noted!
her! approach! and! shook! her! blond! locks.! The! woman’s! gaze!
shifted! to! me.! I! moved! a! hand! over! my! cup! and! she! veered!
away,!another!table!already!in!her!sights.!!
!
Keely!glanced!down,!then!leveled!those!blue!headlamps!at!
me!again.!“We!weren’t!what!you’d!call!close.!She!was!too!much!
older.!Didn’t!want!me!hanging!with!her!and!her!friends!at!any!
age.!But!she!never!treated!me!like!a!baby.!I!never!felt!like!she!
resented!me,!or!thought!I!was!a!pain.!When!our!parents!went!
out!and!she!had!to!watch!me!and!my!brother,!she!usually!took!
an! interest! in! me.! In! what! I! wanted! to! do.! She! played! games!
with! me.! Read! stories! to! me.! Helped! me! with! homework.! I!
looked!up!to!her.!Admired!her.!Loved!her,!in!my!own!way.”!
!
My!fingers!drummed!the!edge!of!the!table
.!!
!
Her!eyes!slid!toward!the!sound!and!back!to!my!face.!“The!
point! is! she! was! loyal.! She! treated! me! with! respect! and!
kindness.!None!of!that!sibling!rivalry!crap.!No!petty!jealousies.!
And! because! of! that! I! would! have! done! anything! for! her,! Mr.!
Sanders.”!
!
I! ran! my! fingers! through! my! hair.! “Are! you! going!
somewhere!with!all!this?”!
!
“Do!you!know!where!my!sister!did!her!graduate!work?”!
!
“Enlighten!me.”!
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!
“Southern!Illinois.”!
!
The! words! illuminated! her! route! like! a! GPS! device.! But! I!
still!didn’t!know!her!destination.!!
!
“She!was!killed!in!the!lab!explosion,”!I!said.!
!
She!tipped!her!head.!“You!remember.”!
!
“Hard!to!forget.”!I’d!spent!twenty!years!trying.!“It!was!big!
news!in!my!hometown,!up!the!road!from!there.”!
!
“She!didn’t!die!in!that!explosion.!She!was!murdered.!Two!
shots.!One!to!the!heart.!One!to!the!head.”!
!
The! dam! she’d! blown! a! hole! in! earlier! burst,! memories!
flooding!my!head!with!images,!a!torrent!that!drowned!out!her!
face,!her!voice.!!
!
Late!one!hot!summer!night,!in!the!ruins!of!a!lab!on!the!top!
floor!of!the!engineering!building!at!SIU,!campus!security!found!
the!battered,!bloodied!body!of!a!young!woman,!crushed!from!
the! waist! down! by! the! weight! of! a! chunk! of! collapsed! ceiling.!
Dead!from!gunshot!wounds.!Shots!I’d!heard.!
!
“She! was! your! sister?”! A! chunk! of! hot! lead! threatened! to!
burn!a!hole!through!my!gut.!
!
She! nodded,! brushing! aside! a! sheaf! of! hair! that! fell! over!
her!eyes.!
!
“And!now!you!want!to!find!Perry!Langford.!Twenty!years!
...!Don’t!you!think!he’s!paid!up?”!
!
“I!told!you.!I!don’t!think!he—”!
!
“They!found!him!standing!over!her!body,!holding!a!gun.”!
!
Without! realizing! it,! my! fingers! tattooed! a! tabletop!
drumbeat! again.! She! reached! across! the! table! and! covered!
them!firmly,!containing!their!energy.!
!
“Do!you!really!think!your!friend!was!capable!of!that?”!
!
Capable? ! Wink! had! been! more! than! capable! of!
constructing! and! detonating! a! bomb.! He’d! been! collecting—
stealing—materials! to! make! a! contact! explosive! that! same!
night.!With!my!help.!But!the!stuff!he’d!planned!to!make!would!
have!been!a!firecracker!compared!to!the!bomb!that!had!ripped!
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apart!the!engineering!building.!And!murder?! I!hadn’t!thought!
him!capable!of!that!until!his!arrest.!And!because!I’d!never!had!
the!guts!to!face!Wink!after!that!night,!the!question!had!nagged!
at!me!ever!since.!
!
“Pretty! strong! evidence! when! you’re! holding! a! smoking!
gun,”!I!said.!
!
She!shook!her!head.!“Langford!always!maintained!he!saw!a!
man!in!the!hallway!outside!the!lab!before!the!explosion.”!
!
I!leaned!back!and!took!a!deep!breath.!“It’s!ancient!history.!
And!even!if!it’s!true,!what!good!does!it!do?!It!didn’t!make!any!
difference!at!his!trial.”!
!
“I!don’t!remember!ever!seeing!you!there.”!
!
“I!was!here.!At!U.W.”!
!
“Of! course.”! She! eyed! me! curiously! for! a! moment.! “You!
don’t!seem!to!have!much!faith!in!your!friend.”!
!
I! fingered! the! rim! of! my! cup.! “Wink! liked! to! live! on! the!
edge.!Always!pushing!the!envelope.!A!challenge,!any!challenge,!
Wink!was!first!in!line!to!take!it!on.!He!had!no!fear.!Willing!to!
mix!it!up!with!guys!twice!his!size.!Tried!things!for!the!hell!of!it!
just!to!see!what!would!happen.!I!saw!him!jump!out!of!a!hayloft!
holding! a! patio! umbrella! to! see! if! it! would! slow! his! fall.! On! a!
dare,! he! rode! a! unicycle! around! the! entire! school! building!
once—on!the!edge!of!the!parapet,!three!stories!up.!Kid!was!a!
genius.! Brilliant.! Built! a! gyrocopter! out! of! spare! parts.! A!
computer,! too,! back! when! a! Commodore! Sixty6Four! was! an!
expensive!novelty.!I!wouldn’t!put!anything!past!him.”!
!
“But!that’s!my!point.!He!was!too!smart!to!have!done!what!
they! say! he! did.”! She! propped! her! elbows! on! the! table! and!
uncurled! a! manicured! finger.! “First,! he! would! have! given!
himself! enough! time! to! get! out! of! the! building.! Second,! he!
would!have!checked!to!make!sure!the!lab!was!empty.!Third,!he!
wouldn’t!have!let!himself!get!caught.”!
!
“How! do! you! know?! How! do! you! know! what! Wink!
Langford! might’ve! done?! Spend! a! lot! of! time! with! him?”! I!
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leaned!forward.!She!didn’t!shrink!from!the!heat!radiating!from!
my! face.! “I! grew! up! with! the! guy.! Called! him! my! best! friend!
once.! We! practically! lived! at! each! other’s! houses! as! kids.! And!
even! I!couldn’t!tell!you!what!happened!that!night.”!
!
What! I’d! seen! that! night! might— might—have! kept! Wink!
out! of! jail.! But! the! one! thing! I! hadn’t! seen! was! what! actually!
happened!to!that!girl.!Keely!Radcliffe’s!sister.!So!I!couldn’t!say!
for!sure!whether!Wink!was!guilty!or!innocent.!!
!
She! clasped! her! hands! and! rested! her! forearms! on! the!
table.!“I!don’t!know!if!I!can!adequately!describe!how!I!felt!when!
my!sister!died.!There’s!no!way!you!can!understand!it.!The!pain.!
The!anguish.!Grief.!And!anger.!I!think!I!quite!literally!went!out!
of!my!head!for!a!time.”!
!
“I!think!I!can!picture!it.”!!
!
My!tone!brought!her!head!up.!She!studied!me.!Decided!not!
to! press.! I! pushed! away! thoughts! that! circled! in! the! depths!
below!the!surface!of!my!consciousness,!thoughts!of—! No!*Don’t*
go*there. !!!
!
“They!had!him!dead!to!rights”!she!said.!“Smoking!gun!and!
all!like!you!said.!I!wanted!nothing!more!than!to!see!him!put!on!
Death!Row.!You!understand!what!I’m!saying?”!
!
I!nodded.!“An!eye!for!an!eye.”!I!understood!perfectly.!
!
She! turned! her! palms! up.! Flipped! them! back! over! and!
clasped!her!hands!once!more.!“I!wasn’t!good!for!much!during!
that! period.! Couldn’t! concentrate! on! school.! Wasn’t! much!
interested! in! anything! else.! Even! simple! things—eating,!
sleeping. .!So!I!did!the!only!thing!I!could.!I!took!a!semester!off.!
Went!down!to!Benton!for!the!trial.!Visited!Centralia!and!found!
out! everything! t
here! was! to! know! about! Perry! Langford.! You!
have! no! idea! how! much! I! hated! him,! how! much! I! wanted! to!
hate! him.! But! the! more! I! learned,! and! the! more! I! sat! and!
watched!him!in!that!courtroom,!the!more!convinced!I!became!
that!he!didn’t!murder!my!sister.”!
!
“It!could!have!been!an!accident.”!!
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!
The! pale! unblemished! skin! between! those! Bahamas6blue!
eyes!puckered.!!
!
I! rushed! on.! “Not! the! shooting! part.! I! meant! maybe! she!
wasn’t! supposed! to! be! there,! and! when! she! got! hurt! in! the!
explosion! he! put! her! out! of! her! misery.! I! heard! she! was! so!
badly!injured!she!wouldn’t!have!made!it!anyway.”!
!
She!dipped!her!chin,!eyes!brimming.!
!
“Sorry.”!
!
She!fanned!the!air!in!front!of!her!face.!“It’s!the!only!reason!
he!didn’t!get!the!death!penalty.”!
!
My! hand! beat! the! table,! the! trembling! completely!
involuntary! this! time.! I! snatched! it! away! and! clamped! it!
between!my!knees,!trying!to!still!the!tremors.!
!
“Are!you!all!right?”!
!
“Sure.”! I! blinked! away! visions! of! 1246grain! bullets!
smacking! into! a! human! target.! For! a! moment! the! ground!
dropped!away!in!front!of!me,!dark!clouds!roiling!over!an!angry!
black!sea!far!below,!salt!foam!spiraling!up!to!kiss!my!cheeks.!
!
I!stepped!back!from!the!edge.!“I’m!fine.”!
!
“Are!you!sure?!You!don’t!look!well.”!
!
I! took! a! sip! of! water,! pressed! the! cool! glass! to! my! cheek.!
“Why! do! you! want! to! find! him! anyway?! Guilty,! innocent,! it!
doesn’t!matter.!He!did!his!time.!Leave!the!poor!guy!alone.”!
!
“I! think! he! wants! the! people! responsible.! I! think! he’s!
looking!for!them.”!
!
“And! you! want! him! to! lead! you! to! them.! That! dish! is!
seriously!cold!by!now.”!
!
“Justice,!Mr.!Sanders.!That’s!what!I!want.”!
!
“Blake.”!!
!
“If!you!wish.”!
!
“What! I! wish! for! is! twelve! hours—eight! even—of!
uninterrupted,! dreamless! sleep! in! a! warm! bed.! I! wish! my!
friend!wasn’t!in!the!hospital.!I!wish!I!could!talk!to!my!son,!Cole,!
one!more!time.!I!wish!you’d!go!away!and!leave!me!alone.”!
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!
She! pressed! her! lips! together! and! held! her! gaze! on! my!