by Mike Sherer
passel*of*them. !Langford!frowned,!wondered!if!he’d!ever!have!
children!of!his!own,!or!if!that!possibility!was!yet!another!thing!
that! he’d! been! denied.! He! didn’t! even! know! if! he! wanted!
children,!hadn’t!ever!considered!it.!Those!weren’t!the!sorts!of!
thoughts!one!fostered!in!prison.!
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!
Dusk!shrouded!the!park!in!growing!darkness.!Mothers!and!
fathers!had!already!been!rounding!up!their!offspring,!trickling!
out!in!small!groups!for!some!time.!The!cheerful!noises!slowly!
died! along! with! the! light! as! the! park! emptied.! Langford! sat!
comfortably!on!the!grass,!half6hidden!by!a!flowering!shrub!at!
the!edge!of!the!path.!!
!
The! streetlamps! luminesced,! glowing! orbs! atop! ten6foot!
iron!posts.!The!playground!was!long!empty!and!night!had!fully!
taken!hold!when!Sanders!walked!back!the!way!he’d!come,!head!
down,! hands! thrust! deeply! into! his! pockets,! shoulders!
hunched.!The!lights!cast!shadows!that!advanced!and!retreated!
as! he! moved.! Langford! stood! and! eased! away! from! the!
sidewalk! deeper! into! the! copse! of! trees.! Sanders! passed! by!
without!looking!up.!!
!
Melting!into!the!darkness,!Langford!watched!until!he!was!
sure!Sanders!was!headed!back!to!his!car,!his!government6paid!
escort!close!behind.!Then!he!found!his!way!back!to!the!street!
where!he’d!parked,!unlocked!the!Scout!and!climbed!in!to!wait.!
It!wasn’t!long!before!Sanders’s!car!pulled!out!of!the!park!exit!
under!the!streetlight!at!the!next!corner.!The!dark!sedan!wasn’t!
far! behind.! Staying! well! back,! Langford! pulled! onto! the! street!
and!followed.!
!
Sanders! led! them! randomly! through! town! for! another!
hour,!stopping!only!once!more,!this!time!to!buy!a!cup!of!coffee!
at! an! espresso! stand.! Twice,! Langford! was! sure! that! Sanders!
had! spotted! the! cars! tailing! him,! but! his! erratic,! haphazard!
turns! never! materialized! into! attempts! to! shake! pursuers.!
Langford! was! beginning! to! rue! his! decision! to! dog! his! old!
friend!when!Sanders!pulled!into!a!large!parking!lot!down!near!
Ballard!locks!that!linked!Lake!Union!with!Puget!Sound.!!
!
The! sedan! pulled! into! the! lot! entrance! of! a! waterfront!
restaurant! next! door,! already! closed! for! the! night.! Langford!
craned!his!neck!to!see!Sanders!park!behind!him.!He!passed!the!
restaurant! entrance! and! halfway! down! the! next! block! swung!
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the! wheel! into! a! tight! U6turn.! Stepping! on! the! accelerator,! he!
drove! past! the! restaurant! and! the! lot! where! Sanders! had!
parked.!He!saw!Sanders!climb!out!of!the!car!and!walk!toward!a!
large! warehouse.! Speeding! up,! he! drove! to! the! end! of! the!
building! and! found! another! entrance! on! the! far! side.! He!
wheeled!into!the!lot!in!the!back!and!followed!the!perimeter!of!
the!building!down!to!the!side!facing!the!water.!!
!
Far!ahead!he!saw!Sanders!and!a!few!men!headed!toward!
the!light!spilling!out!of!the!open!door!of!a!loading!dock!in!the!
warehouse.!Sanders!towered!over!the!others.!He!drove!slowly!
now,! getting! a! little! closer! to! the! lighted! warehouse! door.! An!
open!space!with!a!good!vantage!point!beckoned,!and!he!quickly!
braked! and! backed! into! the! slot,! giving! him! a! full! view! of! the!
loading!dock.!Above!the!door!on!the!side!of!the!building!large!
letters!spelled!out!“Seattle!Times.”!
!
His! eyes! widened.! Sanders,* a* newspaper* boy? ! The!
information! he! had! must! be! outdated.! Sanders! was! supposed!
to! be! high! up! in! some! consulting! firm,! dealing! with! public!
affairs!for!clients!like!sports!teams!and!local!companies.!As!he!
absorbed! this! new! development,! a! figure! stepped! out! of! the!
shadows!of!a!small!shed!on!the!quay!and!intercepted!Sanders.!
A!woman.!Sanders!stopped!dead,!obviously!taken!aback!by!her!
presence.!She!turned!slightly,!giving!Langford!a!glimpse!of!her!
face!as!she!accosted!Sanders.!Langford!was!just!as!surprised.!
!
He! knew! that! face.! Back! row,! closest! to! the! door! of! the!
courtroom!in!Benton.!She’d!been!there!every!time!he’d!turned!
for!a!glimpse!of!the!gallery!that!had!rooted!for!his!conviction.!
Had!asked!his!attorneys!who!she!was.!And!now!had!no!trouble!
remembering!that!her!sister!Jill!Baines!had!been!the!one!who’d!
died,! the! one! he’d! been! accused! of! shooting! at! point6blank!
range.!The!one!whose!body!they’d!found!him!standing!over.!A!
chill! ran! through! him! and! for! a! brief! instant,! panic.! He!
squelched!it,!cleared!his!head!and!thought!about!what!it!meant.!
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!
Pieces! of! the! puzzle! he’d! labored! for! years! to! solve!
suddenly! dropped! into! place,! rendering! a! more! complete!
picture.!It!made!sense.!He!was!closer!now.!But!so!were!they.!He!
didn’t!have!much!time.!Especially!since!now!he!knew!he’d!have!
to! make! an! additional! stop! on! the! way! back,! one! that! would!
take!him!the!long!way!around!the!Sound.!He!put!the!Scout!in!
gear! and! slowly! pulled! out! of! the! space,! turning! away! from!
Sanders!and!the!woman!and!quickly!leaving!them!behind.!
!
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!
!
Chapter&33&
!
!
I! drove! in! a! daze! for! a! while! trying! to! put! it! all! together,!
not!really!sure!where!I!was!going.!I!know!I!spent!time!up!in!the!
park!where!Molly!and!I!used!to!play!for!long!hours!with!Cole!
when!he!was!little.!The!gaping!hole!his!suicide!had!left!ached!
like! a! heavy! weight! pressing! on! my! chest.! The! abscess! had!
almost! turned! gangrenous! by! the! time! Molly! and! I! split,! but!
had! slowly! closed! over.! Volunteering! with! Jeri’s! suicide!
prevention!group!had!helped,!but!every!so!often!I!went!a!round!
with!the!what6ifs!and!the!twin!harbingers!of!depression,!regret!
and! remorse,! that! ripped! the! wound! open! again.! If! I! wasn’t!
careful,!my!mind!would!walk!into!an!ADD!trap!of!negativity,!a!
ruminative!cycle!on!everything!I’d!ever!done!wrong.!
!
Thoughts!of!Cole!and!Molly!weren’t!all!that!distracted!me.!
Too!much!had!happened!in!a!week!for!me!to!process,!filling!my!
head! with! bits! and! pieces! of! information! that! darted! around!
like!microbes!on!a!slide,!none!of!which!I!could!quite!manage!to!
bring!into!focus.!My!usual!dose!of!meds!hadn’t!helped,!either,!
unable! to! counteract! the! exhaustion! that! pulled! at! me.! Every!
movement,!every!thought!felt!like!swimming!in!molasses.!
!
Work!beckoned,!an!oasis!to!a!thirsty!man,!a!place!where!I!
could! let! myself! get! swallowed! up! in! routine! and! push! the!
thoughts!aside.!I!drove!down!to!the!warehouse!in!
Ballard!early!
enough! to! find! plentiful! parking.! A! few! other! route! drivers!
pulled!in!as!I!got!out!and!walked!toward!the!steps!next!to!the!
Times!loading!dock.!The!open!doorway!yawned!widely,!spilling!
bright!white!light!from!the!metal!halides!lamps!inside.!Halfway!
there,!someone!stepped!out!of!the!shadows!at!the!edge!of!the!
wharf!overlooking!the!marina,!bringing!me!up!short.!Keely.!
!
“Where!have!you!been?”!she!said.!
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!
Shadows!made!it!hard!to!read!her!expression.!
!
“Around.”!My!face!grew!warm.!
!
“Around?!Around!where?”!
!
I!shrugged.!“You’re!mad!at!me.”!
!
“More!like!worried.!I!didn’t!know!where!you!were.”!
!
“What!difference!does!it!make?”!
!
“What! diff—?”! For! a! moment! her! mouth! hung! open.! “I!
stopped! by! your! apartment,! checked! with! your! landlord,!
waited!to!see!if!you’d!show!up!for!work.”!She!ticked!the!points!
off!on!her!fingers.!“No!sign!of!you.”!
!
“Now!you’re!stalking!me?”!I!smiled,!tried!to!make!light!of!
it.!!
!
She! wasn’t! buying.! “For! god’s! sake,! you! come! by! in! the!
middle!of!the!night!and!tell!me!someone!tried!to!kill!you.!When!
I!wake!up,!you’re!gone,!nowhere!to!be!found.!What!the!hell!am!
I!supposed!to!think?!I!thought!you!were!dead,!damn!it!”!
!
“’Fraid!not.”!I!held!my!arms!out!and!looked!at!them.!“Sorry!
to!disappoint!you.!Still!here.”!
!
She!slapped!me.!Hard.!I!didn’t!see!it!coming,!and!it!landed!
with!a!loud!crack!like!the!snap!of!a!wet!locker!room!towel!on!
bare! ass,! attracting! the! attention! of! two! Vietnamese! co6
workers! passing! by.! They! may! not! have! understood! what! we!
were! saying,! but! they! didn’t! mistake! the! hand6delivered!
message.!
!
I!rubbed!my!cheek,!eyes!widening.!“What!the!hell!was!that!
for?”!
!
She! turned! away! quickly,! but! not! before! I! saw! tears!
glistening!on!the!edge!of!her!eyelids.!!
!
Confusion!running!through!me,!I!hesitantly!put!a!hand!on!
her! shoulder.! “Hey,! don’t! do! that.! I’m! sorry.! Whatever! I! did,! I!
didn’t!mean!it.”!
!
She! whirled! to! face! me! again,! incredulity! painting! her!
features.! “Are! you! kidding?! I! said! I! thought! you! were! dead.! I!
didn’t!say!I! wanted!you!dead.!What’s!the!matter!with!you?”!
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!
Anger! trumped! confusion.! “What’s! wrong! with! me?! What!
are!you!doing!here?!Accosting!me!at!work?!In!the!middle!of!the!
night?!If!you’re!not!stalking!me,!it’s!a!damn!good!imitation.”!
!
“I’m!not!supposed!to!care!about!you?”!
!
“And!I!don’t,!I!suppose.!You!were!right.!Someone!tried!to!
kill!me.!I’ve!been!trying!to!figure!out!why.!Who.!I! left!because!I!
didn’t!want!to!involve!you!any!more!than!I!already!had.!I!was!
afraid!I!might!have!put!you!in!danger.”!
!
Her! abrupt! laugh! stopped! me.! “You! were! looking! out! for!
me?! That’s! pretty! funny! coming! from! someone! who! wouldn’t!
even!offer!his!best!friend!a!little!support!when!he!needed!it.”!
!
The! confusion! was! back.! “Wait.! What?! Are! you! talking!
about!Wink?!Langford?”!!
!
Her!silence!signaled!affirmation.!
!
“You!want!to!know!where!I!was?”!I!said.!“It!just!so!happens!
I! flew! back! to! Illinois! to! see! if! I! could! figure! out! where! Wink!
might!have!gone.!I’ve!been!pretty!busy!the!past!few!days.”!
!
She! widened! her! stance! and! put! her! hands! on! her! hips.!
“And! you! didn’t! think! you! could! tell! me?! You! couldn’t! even!
spare!a!few!minutes!to!call!me!and!tell!me!you!were!okay?”!
!
The! tears! were! back! in! her! eyes.! She! sniffed! and! blinked!
them!away.!
!
“Whoa!!I!told!you,!I!was!trying!to!protect!you.!And!then!I!
got! so! caught! up! in! following! in! what! I! was! doing! I! kind! of!
forgot.”!
!
“You!forgot?”!!
!
“I!do!that!”!I!snapped.!“I!get!involved!in!what!I’m!doing!and!
I!forget!things!sometimes.”!
!
“You!just!left!!No!note!or!anything!”!
!
“Is!that!what!this!is!about?!You’re!pissed!I!didn’t!call!you?”!
!
“We!made!love!!Or!don’t!you!remember!that!part?”!
!
“We! had! sex.! Great! sex,! Keely,! but! I! don’t! know! you! well!
enough! to! make! love! to! you.! Don’t! give! yourself! so! much!
credit.”!
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!
“You!bastard!”!!
!
She!came!at!me!with!both!hands!raised!high.!I!got!my!arms!
up! in! time,! elbows! out,! hands! protecting! my! face! as! she!
pounded!me!with!her!fists.!The!rain!of!blows!bounced!mostly!
harmlessly!off!my!shoulders!and!arms,!but!a!few!caromed!off!
the! side! of! my! head! making! me! glad! she! wasn’t! any! bigger.! I!
finally! clapped! both! hands! around! her! wrists! and! held! them!
tight.!She!wriggled!and!aimed!a!pointed!toe!at!my!shin.!
!
“Stop!!Stop!it!!Shit,!Keely,!I’m!sorry.!I!shouldn’t!have!said!
that.!I!didn’t!mean!I!didn’t!enjoy!it.!You.!Or!that!I’m!not!grateful!
for!what!you!did!for!me.”!
!
She! sagged,! the! fight! gone! out! of! her,! and! I! let! go.! She!
stepped!back,!looking!at!me!from!under!her!eyelashes,!nostrils!
flaring.!
!
“No,! you’re! just! the! ‘fuck6’em6and6forget6’em! type! I! hated!
so!much!in!high!school.”!Her!voice!held!more!bitterness!than!a!
double!shot!of!espresso.!!
!
“I—”!My!ears!rang!and!my!heart!pounded.!“We!shouldn’t!
have!done!that,!Keely.! I!shouldn’t!have!done!that.”!
!
“Why!not?”!She!sniffled.!!
!
“I’m!not!ready,”!I!said.!It!wasn’t!that!simple,!but!I!couldn’t!
articulate!why.!“I!made!a!mistake.”!
!
She!looked!at!me!thoughtfully,!but!didn’t!reply.!
!
“I!should!have!left!you!a!note,”!I!said.!“Or!called.!I’m!sorry.”!
!
My!hand!moved!to!touch!her!cheek.!I!thought!better!of!it!
and! willed! it! back! down.! It! hung! awkwardly! at! my! side.! I!
shoved!it!into!a!pocket!and!shifted!my!weight!onto!one!leg.!
!
“Look,!I!have!to!go!to!work.!Are!we!okay!here?”!
!
She!inhaled!sharply!and!let!it!out!slowly,!shaking!her!head.!
“No,!we’re!not!fucking!okay!here.”!
!
!
“It’s!not!okay.!Not!until!you!tell!me!about!Langford.”!
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!
I!blinked.!“Not!much!to!tell,”!I!said!slowly.!“I!have!a!lead!on!
where!he!might!be.!Figured!I’d!follow!up!on!it!when!I!finish!my!
route.”!
!
“I’m!coming!with!you.”!She!set!her!mouth!in!a!determined!
line.!
!
“I!don’t!think!that’s!such!a—”!
!
“I’m!not!asking.”!
!
I! put! my! hands! up! in! surrender.! “Don’t! blame! me! if!
something!goes!wrong.”!
!
“Like!what?!What!do!you!think!he’ll!do?”!
!
“Oh,!I!don’t!know.!Kill!us?”!
!
“Don’t!be!melodramatic.”!
!
I!lifted!a!shoulder!and!let!it!fall.!“I!really!don’t!know!what!
to!expect.”!!
!
“I!thought!you!had!to!go!to!work,”!she!said.!
!
“I!do.”!
!
“So?”!She!nodded!toward!the!loading!dock.!“Lead!on.”!
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!
!
Chapter&35&
!
!
We!missed!the!first!Edmonds6Kingston!ferry!by!five!or!ten!
minutes,!which!put!us!close!to!the!head!of!the!line!for!the!next!
one,!leaving!at!six6twenty6five.!As!soon!as!we!parked!aboard,!I!
got! out! and! made! my! way! straight! up! to! the! passenger! deck,!
leaving! Keely! to! fend! for! herself.! I! hadn’t! been! able! to! figure!
her! out.! She’d! expressed! concern! at! the! warehouse,! but! her!
sudden!shift!in!attention!to!our!game!of!“Where’s!Wink?”!had!
thrown!me.!And!her!rebuke!still!stung—I!wasn’t!sure!what!I’d!
done!wrong.!Well,!I!knew,!but!I!couldn’t!admit!it.!
!
I!bought!a!large!coffee!and!took!it!outside!to!the!forward!
observation!deck.!Blue!water!slid!by!the!steel!hull!as!the!ferry!
got! underway,! the! breeze! picking! up! as! we! gained! speed! and!
moved! away! from! shore.! The! salt! air! filled! my! nose! with! the!
briny! scent! of! decaying! seaweed! and! denizens! of! the! deep.! A!
gull! floated! on! air! currents! ten! feet! overhead,! effortlessly!
keeping! pace! with! the! ferry,! sharp! eyes! watching! for! errant!
crumbs!from!some!passenger’s!breakfast.!
!
Already!well!above!the!horizon,!the!sun!blasted!radiation!
through!the!back!of!my!shirt!as!if!the!material!didn’t!exist.!My!
shadow!danced!on!the!rippling!water,!staying!just!ahead!of!the!