by Falcons Fire
“Yet, if I keep silent, I’m seen as aloof and haughty.”
“It’s... the way you keep silent, Martine. You’re so... so...”
“Would you have me meekly hold my tongue, with downcast eyes and a blush upon my cheek? ‘Twas my mother’s way. ‘Twill never be mine.”
He began to say something, then merely shook his head and abandoned the attempt at reprimand. With a glance at her drab tunic, he said, “Sir Edmond will probably be there to greet us when we dock tomorrow. Mayhaps you would want to wear something more...” He shrugged.
Her stomach burned with apprehension at the thought of meeting her betrothed. Nerves frayed, she snapped, “Why should I care about pleasing a man I’ve never met? I didn’t choose Sir Edmond. You did, you and Thorne Falconer. And I didn’t choose to get married. You chose it for me. Make no mistake, the only reason I agreed to this marriage was because you want to be free of me.”
He crouched next to her, compelling her with his eyes to look at him. “It’s not what I want, little sister, it’s what I need. I need to regain my faith, and I can’t do it in Paris, surrounded by students who hang on my every word as if it were Holy Scripture. I need this pilgrimage. My soul needs it.”
She took a calming breath and rested a hand on his shoulder. “They say you’re the best-loved teacher Paris has seen since Abelard. They’re begging for you at Oxford. Do you think God wants you to waste your gifts by leaving your students and prostrating yourself at every shrine between Compostela and Jerusalem?”
“Yes.” The intensity of his gaze took her aback. “I think God wants me to humble myself. I think that’s exactly what He wants.”
She sighed. How pointless to try to talk him out of it at this late date. “And you’ll only be gone a year?”
He covered her hand with his. “Perhaps two.”
“Two years?”
“And when I come back, I’ll be teaching at Oxford, not Paris, so we’ll see each other quite—”
“Rainulf, I need you! You can’t leave me for two years!”
“You’ll have a husband to care for you. You won’t be alone.” He patted her hand and said carefully, “You know, it’s not impossible that you might even grow to love—”
She clapped her hands over her ears and turned from him.
“Martine, for God’s sake.” He reached for her, but she pulled away and wrapped her arms around her up-drawn legs.
He shook his head. “You act as if love were some dreadful curse.”
With her back still turned, she said, “Isn’t it? Look what it did to my mother. It made her weak, it destroyed her. She worshiped Jourdain. Worshiped him! She thought he’d marry her when your mother died, and he let her believe it. But barons don’t marry their mistresses, do they?”
Quietly he said, “No. They don’t.”
“She didn’t know that. She trusted in love. She was a fool.” Martine turned to face her brother. “I’m not. Marriage might be inevitable, but love is a trap I’ll never fall into.”
“It doesn’t have to be a trap, Sister. Love can free the soul, it can liberate—”
She laughed harshly. “Free the soul? Jourdain owned my mother’s soul. When he married his thirteen-year-old heiress and abandoned Mama, he took her soul with him. Mama had nothing left after Jourdain was through with her. He’d used her up. She was empty.”
Her throat tightened, and she trembled. She closed her eyes and rubbed them, and an image came unbidden, as it often did, both awake and in her dreams: a luxurious gown of apple green silk, shot through with gold threads and adorned with thousands of tiny beads, floating on the breeze-riffled surface of a lake. The gown her mama had sewn for the wedding that never came, the gown in which she had finally surrendered, in despair, to a watery death. The pain this vision brought had gained strength with the passage of time, until it felt worse than desolation, worse than grief; it had become a live thing, a dark and heavy thing that rose from her belly to her throat, squeezing her from within.
When she opened her eyes, she found her brother staring at her, his expression sad and a little helpless. She took a deep, shaky breath and swept the image from her thoughts. Struggling to smile, she said, “I’ve heard tell there’s no summer in England, and it must be true, because the closer I get, the colder—” Her voice caught, and she bit her lip, willing herself not to cry.
Rainulf moved closer, put his arm around her, and patted her gently. Did he really know her? Did he have any idea how much she feared this marriage, how much courage it took to go through with it for his sake? He whispered something, and she turned toward him so she could hear.
“I know. I know, Martine. I do.”
* * *
A fanfare of trumpets from the quarterdeck announced that they were docking. Martine rose to peer out of the porthole and Rainulf followed her. The rain, which had fallen steadily since the storm, had almost let up. She could make out a multitude of other vessels jostling one another in the dreary mist enveloping Bulverhythe Harbor, the harbor for Hastings.
“Remember, Martine,” Rainulf cautioned. “If anyone at Harford Castle questions you about your family or your parents or your relation to the queen—”
“I’m to keep my counsel,” she impatiently recited. It was to hide her illegitimacy that Rainulf had sought her a husband so far from the place of her birth. Godfrey of Harford had been so excited at the prospect of uniting his second son with a relation of the queen that he hadn’t bothered to ask questions. No one at Harford knew that she was but a bastard cousin to Eleanor of Aquitaine, who was formerly queen of France, and now, having divorced Louis and married Henry Plantagenet, was queen of England. Even Sir Thorne, who had arranged the betrothal contract, knew only that Martine was the half-sister of his old friend and fellow Crusade veteran; Rainulf had never volunteered the circumstances of her birth.
“Mind that you do keep your counsel,” Rainulf said. “So far I haven’t had to lie outright, because it’s simply assumed you’re legitimate. We’ve been lucky. So far. But if Lord Godfrey were to find out the truth, there would be no question of a marriage. Your reputation would be ruined, as would mine, and quite possibly Thorne’s.”
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I know what’s at stake.”
She returned her attention to the harbor. They were gliding toward an empty dock with one small figure on the pier, a boy. She heard him call out “Sir! The Lady’s Slipper! She’s here! Sir!” and watched as he ran away from them up the pier, disappearing into the fog.
Presently a larger figure emerged—a man wearing a black cloak, its hood raised against the rain—and walked toward the end of the pier.
She could feel her heart drum in her chest. All she knew about Edmond was what Sir Thorne had chosen to communicate—that he was the younger of two sons and had been knighted by his father several months before, that he would be coming into his manor upon his marriage, that he was comely, and that he hunted. Sir Thorne had gone on for some length about the hunting, but had mentioned no sports or other pastimes of Edmond’s.
“People don’t just hunt,” she said.
Rainulf stared intently at the hooded man. “Hmm?”
“He’s got to do something else. Doesn’t he?”
“I suppose so,” he replied distractedly.
The cloaked man stopped a few yards from the end of the pier and stood waiting in the somber drizzle while men scrambled down from the boat to tie her up. He was tall, nearly a head taller than the sailors bustling around him. She couldn’t make out his features because of the hood, but she could see that he was clean-shaven. The black cloak fell straight from his square shoulders, and his chausses and shoes were also black.
“Is that him?” Martine asked, feeling foolish even as she uttered the words, since Rainulf had no more idea than she what Edmond looked like.
“That’s him,” Rainulf said. Martine took a deep breath.
From behind them, someone cleared his throat. They turned to see Gyr
th, scratching his boils and looking at the floor. “Begging your pardon, Father, but... I was wondering, if you’ve got the payment handy...?”
“Of course. Eighteen shillings, wasn’t it?” Rainulf withdrew his purse, and Gyrth stared at it greedily, actually running his tongue over his lips in anticipation of the coins within.
Martine pinned her mantle over her head, picked up her brass lockbox and Loki’s basket, then followed the men out of the cabin. The rain had stopped at last, but a cold, gray mist still enveloped the harbor. While Rainulf paid Gyrth, Martine stood half-hidden behind a strut to steal a glimpse of Sir Edmond.
He was looking up, at the clouds. As she watched him, a strange thing happened. His face became gradually suffused with golden light, until it shone like a beacon in the mist. Transfixed, she followed his gaze upward to find that the clouds had parted, framing the sun in a circle of dazzling blue. It was the sun’s warm rays that had transformed him so magically. There was always a logical explanation, she reminded herself. And yet the temptation to believe in good omens was strong upon her in that moment.
He pushed back his hood as he lowered his head. His hair fell to his shoulders, and looked to be the color of brandy—brown with some gold in it, as if he spent a great deal of time outdoors. To her alarm, he looked directly at her, and she saw that his eyes had stolen the radiant blue of the widening patch of sky above him.
His face had been carved of such noble planes that it might have been that of some young emperor on an ancient coin. It seemed clear from his expression of recognition and pleasure that he knew who she was. Rainulf had undoubtedly written an accurate description.
He seemed to look not just at her, but into her, his bright, penetrating eyes locking with hers and peering deep inside, to where her most secret hopes and fears lay curled up, waiting. It was as if she were transparent, her very soul lying naked for his inspection. She felt she should look away, that it was impudent to hold the gaze of a stranger in this manner. But then, this man was not a stranger in the true sense. He was her betrothed. In less than two months, he would be holding her in his arms. What harm could there be in merely looking at the man she would spend the rest of her life with? For the first time ever, she felt not fear at the prospect of marriage, but anticipation.
It is this man who will speak vows with me, this man who will bring me to his bed, this man who will sire my babes.
Now he smiled at her, a welcoming smile that lit his eyes and etched deeply creased dimples. Without willing it so, she returned the smile, then dropped her gaze and looked away. The flirtatiousness of the gesture embarrassed her, yet her actions seemed beyond her power to dictate.
When she returned her gaze to him, he was looking elsewhere, at something over her shoulder, something that made him grin in delight. She turned to find Rainulf behind her, cupping his hands to his mouth.
“Thorne! Is it always this blasted cold on this miserable island, or only in August?”
Thorne? Thorne Falconer? Dear God. She wheeled in openmouthed astonishment toward the man on the pier as Rainulf swept past her and leaped onto the gangplank. A burning heat crawled up her throat and consumed her face as she watched her brother embrace the man with eyes of sky.
It was Sir Thorne! Not her betrothed! When she had asked Rainulf if that was him, her brother had, naturally, been thinking of the friend he hadn’t seen in a decade, not of the boy Martine was to marry. And Edmond was a boy, being merely nineteen. The man now greeting Rainulf with such warmth, hugging him and slapping him on the back, was at least ten years older than that.
“Martine!” Rainulf called to her. “Come meet Sir Thorne!”
Releasing a shuddering breath, she willed calm upon herself and followed her brother onto the dock. When Rainulf introduced her to his friend, she found herself unable to look him in the eye, and wished desperately that her face were not as red as she knew it must be.
“‘Twill warm up presently,” Sir Thorne said. His voice sounded deep and resonant, his French flavored with just a trace of an accent to betray his Saxon origins. Coming from him, the accent was, although a bit harsh, not unpleasant.
He nodded to Martine. “My lady has brought the Normandy sun with her, I think.” There was that smile again.
He was right about it warming up. The chill receded and the sky brightened even as they spoke. Bulverhythe Harbor was changing from a place of darkness and cold to one of light and shadow, of blues and greens and golds, of the singing of sparrows... and the mocking laughter of gulls. Martine looked up and squinted at the sun, ashamed for having considered its appearance a good sign.
There were no such things as omens, particularly good ones.
Chapter 2
It was turning into an afternoon of surprises. Thorne Falconer had never liked surprises.
The first one had been the late arrival of the Lady’s Slipper, delayed as she was by the storm. Since Harford Castle was half a day’s ride north of Hastings, they would have to set out immediately if they expected to get there before nightfall.
He motioned to his page, standing a respectful distance away on the pier. “Fane, go get Albin and bring the horses.”
“Yes, sir. Shall I fetch your men as well? I know which alehouse they’re in.”
“Aye.” The boy sprinted away, Thorne and his guests following at a more leisurely pace.
“Your men?” Rainulf said. “You must have gotten more important than I’d realized.”
Rainulf had been another surprise, in his black robes and skullcap! Though Thorne knew that his old friend had long ago taken his vows, whenever he thought of Rainulf, he saw him as he had been in the Levant—unshaven and unwashed, in rags filthy and shredded from battle and long months of captivity.
Thorne smiled. “Fane misspeaks himself, but I tire of correcting him. They’re Lord Godfrey’s men, of course. Sir Guy and Sir Peter. Knights, like myself.”
“And Albin?”
“My squire. He and my falconry assistant are the only men I can rightly call mine. And, of course, Fane and the boys who run errands for me.”
Fane and Albin came into view with their mounts, packhorses, and litters. Thorne had brought two litters from Harford. One was an elegant curtained couch suspended between two dappled grays, for Lady Martine. The other was a utilitarian wooden box, into which some dockhands began loading baggage. Lady Martine was staring at the curtained litter and frowning.
Rainulf’s sister had been yet another surprise, in her saffron veil and homely gray tunic, like some humble postulant. Thorne had expected silk brocade, fur trim, and glittering jewels. After all, she was the daughter of a Norman baron and a cousin of the queen, however distant.
Despite her attire, he had recognized her immediately. Rainulf had written that she resembled him, and from what little he could see of her, she seemed to. Like her brother, she was tall. He wondered if she shared his fair hair, but from her dark eyebrows and lashes, he suspected not. Too bad; such hair would be stunning on a woman. She did have his smoothly sculpted, aristocratic features, but on her the effect struck him as slightly off-kilter. Hers was a face of highly polished imperfection, as if some eccentric sculptor had actually wanted the cheekbones a bit too pronounced, the mouth too wide. She should have been plain, but there was a spark in her eyes, a crackle of intelligence, that he couldn’t help but find attractive.
Rainulf was watching his sister regard the litter with grim distaste. “Thorne... I neglected to tell you. Martine hates riding in litters. You don’t have a spare horse, by any chance?”
Hates riding in litters? “Just one. For you.”
Thorne turned to the lady to discuss the matter with her, but she pointedly walked away. It pleased him to see her approach the curtained litter, but his pleasure was short-lived, for she merely deposited upon its brocade seat the brass box and basket she had been carrying, then closed the curtains around them as if to make it plain that she would not be riding there. He sighed and looked toward Rainulf, w
ho smiled and shrugged.
For his part, Thorne found the Lady Martine somewhat less than amusing. First her abrupt change in attitude, and now this demand for a horse, when he had gone to the trouble of bringing a litter all the way from Harford for her.
At first, her coldness had taken him aback, considering her shy smile from the deck of the Lady’s Slipper. Upon reflection, he had to admit that this kind of treatment, warmth followed by haughty withdrawal, was exactly what he would expect from a Norman gentlewoman. The sad truth was that, although she didn’t dress like a child of privilege, Lady Martine acted like one.
Albin spoke up. “She can have Solomon, Sir Thorne!” The dark-haired young squire smiled shyly at Martine and patted his enormous chestnut stallion on the flank. “I know you’d prefer a mare, my lady, but if you think you can handle him, you’re welcome to him.”
She didn’t thank him, merely took the reins he offered.
“What will you ride, then, Albin?” Thorne asked.
“One of the packhorses. I don’t mind.”
Fane came running up, followed by Guy and Peter. Albin and Fane usually accompanied Thorne on his errands to Hastings, but this time he had thought it best to bring his men along as well, considering the recent trouble in Weald Forest, through which they were obliged to ride. Also, it was a diversion for them. They welcomed any excuse to leave Harford and ride down to Hastings when there was no local war or tournament to occupy them.