“That sounds perfect.”
Amanda grabbed the box of truffles Joyce had purchased for her at the candy store and led the way to the balcony. She placed her coffee and the small box on the bistro table and moved the two matching chairs so they could sit side by side closer to the patio door and safe from the rain that was still falling.
“Wow. This really is a nice spot. You have a great view of the stream and the smell of the rain is wonderful,” Joyce declared as soon as she sat down.
They took sips of their coffee before Amanda dared to grab Joyce’s hand. Joyce let out a contented sigh at the touch and Amanda felt her own smile widen. “I’ve wanted to do this all afternoon.”
“Me too,” Joyce answered with a smile.
Amanda was delighted with the way the afternoon had turned out. She’d had a great time walking with Joyce and visiting the candy store. She’d even found a way to address her meeting with Barbara and Heather. She was glad she’d found the courage to invite Joyce to her condo. She appreciated the privacy it gave them. Even if they simply kept holding hands as they were doing now, she just needed to be alone with Joyce, to share a small space with her and no one else.
They sat and watched the rain fall as they savored their coffee. Joyce let go of Amanda’s hand only to caress the length of her forearm, slowly, from her wrist to the bend of her arm down to her wrist again. The sensation gave her goose bumps. It was by far the most intimate touch she’d experienced in her life, and she didn’t want it to stop. She closed her eyes and focused on the tingles Joyce’s fingers left behind as they traveled up and down her arm. She wanted to remember this forever.
“Aren’t you going to taste one of these truffles you couldn’t live without today?” Joyce whispered sensuously, the sound of her voice amplifying the feelings initiated by her fingers and sending powerful ripples of pleasure through her body.
“I’m not so sure what I can’t live without anymore,” she said honestly, her voice trembling.
Joyce snickered and, taking her hand from Amanda’s arm, grabbed the box of chocolates from the table, breaking the spell Amanda was under. “Come on, have one. I want to watch you eat one.”
“Okay.” Examining the box Joyce held out to her, she picked up the dark chocolate lava cake truffle between her thumb and her index finger, put it whole in her mouth, and savored it. She hummed loudly in pure ecstasy as Joyce watched her intently, her mouth slightly open. She was obviously enjoying what she saw.
“Is it really that good?” she asked teasingly.
“Even better,” Amanda answered once most of the truffle had melted in her mouth.
Joyce then took out the strawberry crème truffle she’d selected. “It does look good.”
“I’m sure it won’t be as good as mine because fruit and chocolate don’t belong together in my opinion, but sure, go for it,” Amanda said, continuing the playful banter she’d started at the store after Joyce had made her choice of truffle.
Joyce smiled, placed the entire truffle in her mouth, and moaned exaggeratedly. “Oh it’s so good,” she said with a hand placed in front of her mouth, still full of chocolate. “Are you sure you don’t want to taste?”
Amanda glanced at the box, not understanding Joyce’s question. She was certain she’d seen her place the whole truffle in her mouth, so how was she supposed to taste it? When she met Joyce’s gaze again, she understood. Her gray eyes, recently filled with humor, sparkled with a new kind of light as she leaned toward Amanda.
Amanda swallowed with difficulty and focused on Joyce’s mouth as she slowly closed the gap between them. When Joyce’s soft lips gently pressed against hers, she was surprised by her own groan of pleasure. She’d never been kissed before. Already overpowering, her gratification skyrocketed when Joyce’s lips parted and her strawberry-flavored tongue teased her mouth open. Their tongues met and entangled with sweet and smooth chocolate. It felt and tasted better than anything she’d dreamed of and she soon surprised herself by deepening the kiss. She needed more. She kept exploring Joyce’s mouth long after any taste of strawberry crème truffle was gone. Joyce welcomed her eagerness, encouraging it with moans and whimpers she devoured.
When Joyce broke away from the kiss, she automatically leaned forward, reaching for her mouth again, stopping only when she realized they were both out of breath. They stared at each other as they caught their breath, smiling with satisfaction. “Thanks for sharing,” she managed to say.
Joyce’s low chuckle had never sounded so sexy. “Anytime.”
“Like now, maybe?”
“I could handle now,” Joyce replied before she pressed her lips to hers again. This time the kiss didn’t start slow; it went directly to the same depth and intensity where they’d left the first one. Moans mixed with heavy breathing and soon she was overcome with a level of arousal she couldn’t have envisioned. She wanted more, so much more it almost scared her, as if she’d lost control of her mind and body. Joyce pulled her lips from hers to catch her breath again, but Amanda kept kissing her skin, moving down to her neck, trying to reach under the silk scarf that was in her way. That’s when she felt Joyce’s hand on her chin, forcing her to tear her mouth away from the tender skin of her neck and look at her.
“What? Did I do something wrong?” she asked, panting.
“No. Of course not. But I think we probably should stop,” Joyce said as she held her face with both hands, staring at her mouth. She wanted her too, Amanda was sure of it. “As much as I want this to keep going, I think we should take it one step at a time. Today, our first kiss, was a big step, don’t you think?”
“Yes, you’re right. It was a huge step. You don’t regret it, do you?”
Joyce smiled tenderly. “No. I wanted it. I had a pretty good idea it would happen today. And I know I won’t regret it. But…”
“But you might regret what could happen next if it happened right now?”
Joyce hesitated and bit her lower lip before she spoke. “Maybe. I don’t know, but I don’t want to risk it.”
Amanda sighed deeply. She knew that Joyce having regrets later would hurt worse than stopping what they were doing now. Besides, the kisses they’d shared would easily keep her daydreaming and whistling for days, perhaps even weeks. And if she was completely honest with herself, she was a little scared of what they’d been about to do next. She had no experience and was terrified it would show. In the end she had to admit Joyce was right. “One step at a time, then?”
“Exactly. One beautiful, perfect step at a time,” Joyce repeated. She brushed her lips against Amanda’s so softly that they barely touched. Amanda was shocked at the power the light kiss had on her body, which was so alert the slightest caress sufficed to inflame it again. Joyce stood up and walked inside. She reluctantly followed her. They kissed again at the door and Joyce left, promising she’d call to make plans for their next date.
That night, Amanda went to bed and saw Dingo’s portrait still resting on her dresser. She smiled because she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt there would be plenty more opportunities for Joyce to help her decide where to hang the painting.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Janice saw you and Amanda on Main Street Saturday. She asked me who was that young woman you were standing so close to.”
Joyce kept her eyes closed and held the Perfect Pose even though her yoga session had been so brutally interrupted. She knew Barbara was not dropping by on this sunny Tuesday morning to see how she was doing. They hadn’t talked since she’d confronted her older sister and declared she would see Amanda whether she liked it or not. She’d known Barbara would remain silent until she found more ammunition to pursue the fight. Apparently she now had.
Joyce stood and rolled up her yoga mat. She went to the dog pen and hooked a leash to Dingo’s collar. Thankfully, he hadn’t tried to jump and escape from the pen yet, the Elizabethan collar limiting his movements. She and Dingo then walked past Barbara to the patio door and entered the house,
followed by an irritated Barbara. “Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes, I heard you. What did you tell Janice?” she asked calmly. Janice was an old friend of Barbara’s and Evelyn’s. The rumor mill had obviously started and although Joyce was acting impassive in front of Barbara, the truth was that she was bothered by it, which annoyed her even more.
“I told her she was just a friend and your dog’s new vet, but you know Janice. She kept hinting that the two of you looked really close. Her mind is already made up. What the hell, Joy? Couldn’t you at least keep your distance in public?”
“Oh come on. It’s not like we were holding hands or kissing in the middle of the street. You know as well as I do that Janice would have run her mouth even if I’d been standing three feet from Amanda. She has nothing better to do. Don’t you?”
“How dare you?” Barbara hissed. “I certainly have better things to do than to defend your reputation, Joyce Allen.”
“Oh please. We both know the only reputation you’re really concerned with is your own. So next time you see Janice, tell her the truth. Tell her your little sister has lost her mind and you don’t know what to do with her anymore. Tell her you’ve stopped talking to me if you want. I don’t care. Do whatever you have to do to save your own fucking reputation and quit acting like you worry about mine. I don’t give a crap what Janice thinks of me. Am I clear?”
“You’re clearly lying, that’s for sure. I don’t believe a word of it. Janice was among your closest friends. She was part of the world you lived in for almost thirty years. One day you’ll wake up and realize you’ve turned your back on all of your friends and your family, my dear sister. I only hope it won’t be too late when you do. I’m done trying. Call me if you ever come to your senses.”
Barbara left, slamming the front door behind her. Joyce gasped at the sound, then sighed, relieved to have been delivered from Barbara’s attacks, but mostly relieved to be able to drop the act she’d been keeping up in her presence. Alone at last, she started crying quietly and walked to the leather couch where Dingo joined her and lay by her side. He wasn’t supposed to jump on the furniture, but she welcomed his presence and plunged her fingers into his fur as she started sobbing with much less control.
She didn’t worry about Janice. That much was true. She didn’t care what Janice and the rest of her former friends thought. She did care about the fact that she might lose her sister though. She couldn’t help it. They’d shared so much since their childhood. As much as she’d grown to hate Barbara’s judgmental and snobbish ways, she still loved her. She was a bright, witty, sharp, and funny woman. Most of all she was her big sister, and she knew she would always need her in her life.
Deep down, she also had to admit she understood her concern. She knew there was more behind it than Barbara worrying about her own reputation, knew that some of her warnings came from a deep fear that Joyce might get hurt. How could she not understand that when she also fought that same fear?
She wanted to be with Amanda more than anything, but she couldn’t deny that for her their age gap was a genuine, almost paralyzing threat. She’d been going back and forth between moving forward and ending everything since the last kiss they’d shared. That’s why she hadn’t yet called to plan their next date. Every time she picked up her cell phone she thought of her young mouth trying to kiss the skin hidden under her silk scarf. The thin, wrinkled skin she’d been covering up for years. Every time she remembered the moment that she’d felt her lips move under the light fabric, the panic that had made her put a stop to Amanda’s exploration resurfaced.
Yet if she chose to move forward with her, she couldn’t hide the skin of her neck forever. If they made love, Amanda would see her neck—and every other imperfection on her body that betrayed her age. She thought she didn’t care about their age difference now, but she’d always seen Joyce at her best. Lying naked in bed with the younger woman would leave Joyce completely vulnerable. It would be the real, ultimate test, and she was far from convinced that Amanda wouldn’t care then. More importantly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out.
Then she thought of kissing Amanda, of caressing her and making her moan with pleasure again. She thought about holding her in her arms and letting herself love her the way she wanted to, and she picked up the phone again. Having these conflicting feelings was exhausting. She wished she could discuss them with someone, with her sister, but she couldn’t. She was left alone to battle with them, and she thought she might go crazy.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
By Wednesday night, Amanda was getting scared Joyce might never call. She sat alone on her balcony and watched the rain fall. The smell reminded her of her afternoon with Joyce. Her memories of the kisses they’d shared were still comforting, but they were becoming tainted with worry. She’d started analyzing every move and every touch, looking for something that might have upset Joyce. She cursed her lack of experience. She’d been so blinded by the pure bliss these new sensations had brought her that she’d become oblivious to Joyce’s feelings and reactions. She’d clearly missed something. Or…maybe Joyce simply regretted kissing her. She was about to call her to find out when her phone rang.
“Hello,” she answered with apprehension.
“Hi,” Joyce started timidly. “Sorry it took so long to call.”
“It’s okay. I was wondering if I’d done something wrong, but I’m glad you called.” She played nervously with the glass of iced tea resting on the table in front of her. She heard Joyce sigh deeply.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. But I’ve been dealing with something, and I thought I should figure it out before I saw you again. Unfortunately, I can’t. Not on my own. I think it might be easier to talk it out with you. That’s what I should have done from the start, I know. But I’m learning, I swear.”
Joyce’s nervous chuckle was strangely comforting. It made her sound insecure, which meant she needed reassurance. She wanted to talk things through with Amanda, which meant she was open to her opinion. That was positive. Not as positive as if Joyce had called to tell her she’d missed her and needed to see her right away, of course. So, while this all was definitely a little scary, all in all it was positive. Probably.
“I’ll be happy to talk it out with you, Joyce. Whatever it is. And you’re right; you should never try to deal with things by yourself. Especially if they relate to us. No secrets, remember?”
“Yes, I remember. I already feel better now that I’ve heard your voice, actually,” she said softly.
“Good,” Amanda whispered.
“So will you meet me at my house tomorrow after work? I’ll make dinner.”
“Just for the two of us, right?”
This time Joyce’s laughter was more sensuous than nervous, which made Amanda smile with pride. “Yes, I promise.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rain continued to fall the next day so Amanda drove her car to work and to Joyce’s. She didn’t mind the faster means of transportation for once, eager to see Joyce again. Joyce opened the front door to let her in the house and looked over her shoulder, smiling with relief when she spotted Amanda’s ten-year-old, light blue Beetle. “You do have a car, thank god. With all that rain, I was thinking I should have offered to go pick you up.”
Amanda laughed. “That’s nice of you, but now you know. I do have a car. I just don’t use it when I don’t have to.”
“You’re putting me to shame. I should try that with Dingo when he finally is released from his plastic cone prison.”
Amanda had to laugh even harder when Dingo came to the door to greet her, and she saw how pitiful he looked. A dog wearing an Elizabethan collar at the clinic seemed natural. But somehow, the same dog wearing that collar in his own environment was completely different.
“Oh, my poor Dingo. Who did this to you?” Amanda declared with empathy as she kneeled to the floor to pet Dingo and take a closer look at his leg.
“What do you mean, who did this to him?”
Joyce asked with exaggerated outrage, her hands placed firmly on her hips. “You did, Doctor Carter. You’re the mean one, don’t you forget. I simply follow your orders.”
“Do you promise me you won’t lick your leg if I remove this awful thing your mommy put on you?” Amanda asked Dingo, acting as if she hadn’t heard Joyce. She giggled when she heard the dramatic huff Joyce used to express her supposed indignation.
She started to remove the Elizabethan collar and Joyce kneeled down to help. “Do you really think he’s not going to lick it?”
“I checked and the sores are almost completely healed already. Obviously, you’ve been applying the antibiotic cream the way you were supposed to.”
“I told you. I follow orders,” Joyce said in a low voice that conveyed a new, much more sensual type of playfulness. Amanda felt her face heat up instantly.
“Well, good. I think it worked for Dingo. Let’s try it. If we see that he still wants to lick his leg we’ll put it back on.”
“Okay, I trust you.” They worked together to free Dingo, who fortunately ignored his leg after the collar came off. Joyce looked at her with grateful surprise.
“Let’s keep an eye on him all evening, but I think it will be fine.”
“Does that mean he’s back to normal?”
“It looks like it, but I’d still like to see him at the clinic next Friday as planned for a thorough exam.”
“Of course. You’ve been so good with him.”
“I hope I can keep being good with him in the future, as more than a vet.” The expression on Joyce’s face changed at the implication.
“I do too, Amanda. Do you mind if we have a glass of wine and get this talk out of the way before dinner?”
“I’d prefer that. I’m not hungry yet and I’m anxious to find out what you need to talk about. I won’t have wine though. Water will be fine.”
“Okay. Will you have some iced tea at least?”
“That would be perfect.”
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