Dingo's Recovery

by Genevieve Fortin

  Amanda’s caresses were not clumsy or gauche despite the fact that this was her first time. She was doing all the right things the way she enjoyed them, yet Joyce couldn’t bring her mind to the state of peace and abandon she knew she needed to reach orgasm. It wouldn’t happen, she knew it, and the more she told herself she knew it, the less likely it was that it could happen. Her options were to stop Amanda or to fake her way through it.

  She’d faked orgasms with Evelyn before when she couldn’t put her mind at ease for a reason or another. It was easier than to hurt Evelyn’s ego and endure her silent treatment for the next few days. Faking an orgasm now, however, was out of the question. That was not the way she wanted to start a sexual relationship with Amanda, and she’d promised her honesty. That left her with only one option. “Amanda,” she heard herself call out before she could decide what she’d say next.

  Amanda’s face appeared above hers and their gazes met. The excitement and eagerness in her eyes had already been replaced with sadness. “What’s wrong? Is it something I…”

  “It’s not you,” Joyce hurried to reassure her before she could finish her sentence. “I guess I need a little more time to get these damn fears out of my mind.”

  Amanda sighed with what could only be frustration. “Don’t I make you feel how beautiful you are to me?”

  “You could tell me all night, my sweet girl, and it wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t believe it. I’m the problem here. I mean look at these compared to yours,” she said waving her hand in front of her nude breasts. “Did you not notice the difference?”

  “I didn’t compare, Joyce. I was too busy enjoying yours.”

  Joyce laughed. She believed Amanda. She really did trust that the younger woman was not comparing and taking notes the way she’d been doing. The problem was all hers, she realized that, but she couldn’t simply shake it away. Not tonight. “Do you think we could put this on hold for now?”

  “Are you asking me to leave? Because if you are, I want to make it clear that I’m not the one running away after seeing you naked or half-naked anyway. All right?” Amanda’s tone was playful. If she’d hurt her feelings, at least it wasn’t beyond repair, which was a huge relief.

  “Duly noted.”

  “Good.”

  Amanda made a move to get up, but Joyce stopped her. “I’m not asking you to leave, though.”

  Amanda stopped and looked at Joyce with a hopeful smile. “You’re not?”

  Joyce shook her head. “In fact, I’d be very happy if you spent the night. Do you like to cuddle?”

  Amanda’s smile widened. “I don’t know yet, but we’re about to find out.”

  Chapter Thirty

  When Amanda woke up the next morning, her cheek was pressed to Joyce’s chest. It turned out she liked to cuddle after all. She watched the hand that was resting on Joyce’s stomach move up and down with every deep, restful breath the woman took. Amanda tried hard to stay in the moment and be grateful for the fact that she’d spent the night with Joyce, holding her and being held by her. She was thankful for all of that and for the mind-blowing orgasms Joyce had given her. Not only was she not a virgin anymore, but the woman who’d taken her virginity was the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

  She was blessed in more ways than she could count, yet she couldn’t keep from feeling cheated because she hadn’t been able to make love to Joyce the way she’d wanted to. What had happened between them was wonderful but a little too one-sided for Amanda to feel completely satisfied.

  Amanda stared at the pants Joyce was still wearing and covered part of them with her nude leg, trying to eliminate the piece of fabric that remained between their skin. Time. Joyce had asked for more time. In the end, what other choice did Amanda have but to give her that? It wasn’t like she could move on to someone else. She didn’t want anyone but Joyce. And if all that stood in her way to get everything she wanted was waiting, she’d wait.

  Amanda shifted her position over Joyce’s body to take a peek at Dingo, who was still sleeping soundly in his crate by the bed. His leg looked dry, but Amanda reached down to touch it through the metal grid of the crate. “Good boy,” she whispered once she was able to confirm the dog hadn’t licked his leg all night even without the Elizabethan collar to keep him from doing it.

  “If you wake him up, you take him out,” Joyce whispered with an adorable sleepy voice as she stretched under Amanda.

  “Oh, is that how it works? Already making up rules?”

  “Yep. Good morning, by the way.”

  “Good morning, beautiful.” Amanda repositioned herself so she could bring her face over Joyce’s and look at her smile and her barely open eyes. They gave her such a mischievous look Amanda couldn’t help but smile back. “Did you sleep well despite me apparently clinging to you all night?”

  “I slept like a baby. Cling all you want. But kiss me first.”

  Amanda chuckled as she moved down to bring her lips to Joyce’s. She meant the kiss to be brief and gentle, but the contact of their nude breasts surprised her and impelled her to deepen the kiss. Joyce’s gasp as their nipples pressed together made the kiss even more intense, until Dingo interrupted them with a loud, whining plea.

  “All right, I’ll go out with him,” Amanda announced as she got up and started looking for her clothes. Joyce had already covered her upper body with the bed sheet, hiding her own breasts even as she stared at Amanda’s with such hunger. “Not fair,” she commented before she put on her tank top. She stuck her tongue out and started getting into her jeans.

  “Oh, come on,” Joyce protested.

  “Nope. Fair is fair,” Amanda maintained as she buttoned up her jeans.

  “All right, all right. There.” Joyce lowered the sheet covering her breasts for a whole second and a half before she brought it up to her neck again. “Now your turn.”

  Amanda laughed but played the game and flashed Joyce, who laughed at her in turn. She proceeded to free Dingo from his crate, stealing another kiss from Joyce before she headed out of the bedroom.

  “I’ll start breakfast while you’re out.”

  “Sounds good.” Amanda would have preferred for Joyce to wait for her in bed so they could resume what Dingo had interrupted, but there was no point in being greedy. She was confident that they’d get back in bed together soon and that she’d get her turn to please Joyce. Time was not an obstacle. It was just, well, time.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “Does she make you happy?” On Monday morning, Doug had asked Amanda to meet him in his office after the staff meeting. They were dealing with two delicate and complicated cases at the moment and she thought he wanted to discuss them with her. They hadn’t talked about anything personal since she’d decided to give Joyce another chance, and he’d made it perfectly clear he didn’t approve.

  His question was unexpected, but she interpreted it as some kind of olive branch. She could be wrong, of course, but she was getting better at guessing people’s intentions.

  “Yes, she makes me very happy. She still feels some insecurity over our age difference, but we’ll get through that eventually. I’m sure of it.” She looked Doug straight in the eye and waited for his reaction. His smile was tentative but honest.

  “If it’s what you want, I’m sure you will too.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” He cleared his throat and looked down to his feet, scratching his head. “I know I haven’t been supportive of this thing between you and Joyce Allen. You know my feelings for her. But I can’t take this awkwardness between us anymore. I have enough awkwardness in my life.”

  Doug met her gaze again and they both chuckled at his declaration. “Was that a joke, Doug?”

  “Yeah, maybe. I guess so.” They exchanged another laugh until Doug started scratching his head again. “But really, what I want to say is that I want to be more supportive moving forward. I think we were becoming good friends and I got in the way of that with
my opinions about her. I’m sorry about that. Susan keeps telling me I have no right to judge the woman and she’s right. If you love her, there has to be good in her, after all. Right?”

  “Right,” Amanda agreed with an encouraging smile. “There’s a lot of good in her, and I’d really love for you to find that out. I’m sure you don’t know the Joyce I fell in love with. Maybe we could have dinner, the four of us? You haven’t seen my condo yet.”

  “Well, as long as she doesn’t bring her snooty friends or her sister I think I could handle that,” Doug replied with an uncomfortable chuckle.

  “She doesn’t see any of those friends anymore. And her sister doesn’t talk to her since she’s decided to date me.”

  “Are you kidding?”

  “Oh no. Joyce has changed a lot since you worked with her on that charity committee, but I’d guess Barbara is probably the same woman you met back then.”

  “Well, that’s a shame. I can’t say it surprises me, but it’s still a shame. Good for Joyce, though, standing up to her sister like that. You know, you might be right about her change of heart. I don’t think the Joyce Allen I met in those days would have been able to do that.”

  “I told you. It’s not easy for her, of course, but she’s putting her own happiness first now. She didn’t know how to do that when you met her.”

  “I see. Well, I’m looking forward to knowing that new version of her, then. She seems a lot more likeable than the version I met years ago.”

  “She’s definitely very likeable,” Amanda added with a wink that made Doug laugh again.

  They moved on to talk business, but when Amanda left Doug’s office they’d agreed to make definite plans for dinner with Joyce and Susan some time soon. As she went on to meet with her patients, Amanda felt strange about the entire meeting with Doug. Of course she was relieved and pleased with his decision to put his preconceived judgment on ice and give Joyce a chance. She was touched that he was willing to make that effort for her and for the sake of their friendship. But somehow his kindness and decency made Barbara’s own small-minded stubbornness all the more terrible.

  What made it worse was that although she was happy Doug had changed his mind, she didn’t need his approval. He was a business partner and a friend, but his opinion of Joyce didn’t really matter that much to her.

  Barbara’s support meant so much more than that to Joyce. She was her older sister, the woman whose opinion had always counted more than anyone else’s in Joyce’s life, except perhaps Evelyn’s. She knew that and she couldn’t help but feel guilty about receiving support she hadn’t asked for while the woman she loved couldn’t get the same consideration from her own sister. It wasn’t fair. She hoped Barbara would come around some day. More than anything, she hoped Joyce could keep standing up to her until that day came.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Joyce and Amanda had finished doing the dishes together and were sitting on the patio, enjoying the cool of this late September evening. It was Tuesday and she hadn’t seen Amanda since she’d left her house on Sunday. She’d missed her terribly. Dingo sat between their chaise lounges, but his collar was secured to a long tie-out cable. In the mere two days since Amanda had removed his Elizabethan collar, he’d quickly gone back to being the explorer he’d been before his injury and Joyce couldn’t trust him not to run away.

  “Dinner was delicious,” Joyce announced. It had been strange to see someone other than Evelyn use the outside grill, but she imagined those awkward moments were unavoidable. She would be faced with more of them as she pursued her relationship with Amanda and she accepted that fate.

  “Oh please, it was just a hot dog.” Amanda giggled and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose with her index finger. She was beyond charming. She’d removed her sweater while she was cooking, claiming she was hot for the first time since Joyce had met her. The fitted, black V-neck T-shirt she was wearing revealed her arms and a hint of cleavage but also allowed Joyce to see the shape of her round breasts under the stretched cotton. She swallowed. She desperately wanted to make love to Amanda again. The only thing that kept her from it right now was the fear that she would want to reciprocate. Sooner or later, she would need to accept that fate as well, wouldn’t she?

  “It was a delicious hot dog,” she replied.

  “I’m glad you liked it.”

  “You know, what I like most is having you here with me. I don’t care what or even if you cook.”

  “That’s good to know.” Amanda wrinkled her nose playfully and Joyce couldn’t resist any longer. She stood from her chaise lounge and carefully stepped over Dingo to walk the short distance that separated her from Amanda’s chair. Amanda moved her legs to make room for her to sit. “That’s better. You were way too far away all the way over there.”

  “That’s what I thought as well,” Joyce agreed. She inclined her face closer to that of Amanda’s, who quickly bridged the gap for the unchained kiss she’d been anticipating since the much more reserved kiss they’d shared at Amanda’s arrival. Groaning when their tongues moved smoothly against each other, she got on her knees so she could be on top of Amanda and dictate the depth and strength of their kiss. She cupped one breast with her hand and smiled against Amanda’s mouth when she heard her gasp with pleasure.

  “Oh my god, it’s worse than I thought.”

  Barbara’s voice startled Joyce and she jumped to her feet. She turned to face her sister, who was standing by the patio door. Her eyes were wide open and she was shaking her head in disbelief.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “I was checking on you to find out if you’d come to your senses yet, but I see that you’ve gone off the deep end instead. You look ridiculous.”

  “Okay, well, I guess I’ll let the two of you catch up,” Amanda announced as she got up from her seat. She sounded hurt, but calm. “I’ll go grab my stuff.”

  Joyce took a hold of her hand to stop her from walking past her to the patio door. “You’re not going anywhere, Amanda. You, on the other hand,” she added as she walked straight to Barbara until their faces were a few inches apart and she could properly communicate the fury Barbara’s intrusion and complete lack of respect had caused. “You turn around and leave right now, you hear me?” She said the words calmly but firmly, without blinking.

  “You’re going to kick me out, Joy? I’m your sister, remember?”

  Barbara’s defiant glare only made her angrier, but she took a deep breath to keep her tone level. “Damn right, I am. Last time you were here, dear sister, you said you wouldn’t talk to me until I ended my relationship with Amanda. Well, I didn’t. And I won’t. So go. And this time I’m the one telling you to stay away unless you can accept that Amanda and I are together and you can show us the respect we deserve.”

  “I’ll never accept that relationship. Come on, it’s ludicrous. Do you hear yourself?”

  “Fine. I guess we’ll never talk again, then.” She swallowed around the lump in her throat, but she wouldn’t back down.

  “Watch what you’re saying, Baby Sis. You do realize you’re about to break ties with your family over this…” Barbara looked at Amanda with disdain, “this kid, right?”

  “I know exactly what I’m saying. This kid loves me for who I am, for everything I am, which is something you obviously can’t do. I think my choice is pretty obvious. Don’t you think?”

  “You’re so out of line, Joy. Do you think I’d care so much about your inappropriate relationship with this girl if I didn’t love you?”

  “If that’s the only way you can love me, Barb, I don’t want it. You understand? Now go. And don’t come back.”

  “You’ll regret this. Don’t do it.”

  “I said go. Now.”

  Joyce opened the patio door and they walked to the front door in silence. When she opened it, Barbara hesitated. “Joy…”

  “Get out.”

  Barbara sighed with irritation and shook her head, but finally lef
t. Joyce closed the door and leaned against it until she heard the Mercedes’ engine start and leave. She sighed with relief.

  She didn’t feel good about her altercation with Barbara, but she felt empowered by the direction it had taken. She hadn’t suffered through her insults, waiting patiently for her to be done. She’d taken control of the conversation and had even made her own ultimatum. She’d refused to take the blame for their falling out. She’d put the responsibility on Barbara’s shoulders. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was simply in love with a younger woman. A woman who wasn’t asking for anything more than to love her in return. A woman who, as she’d told Barbara, loved her for who she truly was. A woman who was waiting for her on the patio right now.

  Joyce took a deep breath, filling her chest with air and the strength she’d just found out was in her. She freed her neck of the blue silk scarf she was wearing and let it drop to the floor on her way out to the patio. Amanda was sitting on her chaise lounge, petting Dingo, who lay by her side. Joyce smiled at the sight. She closed the patio door quietly and walked to Amanda, who frowned with concern.

  “I’m sorry you had to go through this.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Joyce replied as she kneeled down on her chaise lounge, straddling her as she had been before they were so rudely interrupted. “And I realize it’s not my fault either. What we can’t do is let her ruin our evening.” She bent down to kiss Amanda but was held back by firm hand on her chest.

  “What if she comes back?”

  “She won’t. And if she does, she’ll get an eyeful. Not our fault. Not our responsibility.” She went for that kiss again, but Amanda’s hand remained on her chest.