“He’ll be fine. We’ll change it.”
Again, Kate bit back the protest. She put a mattress on the floor under the ladder, so if Tommy did fall, he’d land on that. A wooden barrier ran the length of the bed so it wouldn’t be easy to topple out, but Kate was afraid he’d forget he was high up. Tommy climbed the ladder and crawled under the comforter.
“Don’t forget you’re sleeping in the sky,” she said.
“I’m sleeping in the sky,” Tommy shouted.
“No jumping. Show me how you’ll get down in the morning.” She was relieved when he came down backward. He immediately climbed up again and snuggled under the covers.
“I bought you something,” Jack said. “There’s a light here you can have on all night. It’s like the moon. And this will keep you company.” Tommy wrapped his arms around the ugly, blue cuddly toy. “Ooh, thank you.
He’s called…monster.”
Kate smothered a smile.
Tommy lay down, his eyes already closing. “Story?”
“Tomorrow,” Jack said.
Kate leaned over and gave Tommy a kiss. His arms moved around the back of her neck and pulled her close. The rush of love overpowered the pain. She had to keep him safe. She was all he had.
“Goodnight, sleep tight, and don’t let the bedbugs bite,” Tommy said.
Jack leaned over and Tommy kissed him, too. Stepping back from the bed, he put his arm around Kate’s waist. “Our son is beautiful. Absolutely perfect.” She let Jack lead her back into the bathroom, but her stomach churned so violently, she thought she’d throw up.
“I think your dress has had it.” Jack took off her glasses and lifted the dress over her head.
Kate flinched as he peeled it off her skin. She heard the intake of his breath. He must have forgotten she was naked underneath. Vegas seemed a lifetime ago. She stood still, kept her shaking hands at her sides and didn’t try to cover her body.
“Put what’s left of the hot water in the tub,” he said and began to strip.
Kate turned the faucet and kicked off her sandals. Her feet were filthy. She was desperate for a bath, although not for one with Jack. She had to pretend now, swallow her revulsion. She stepped into the water and sat down. Jack climbed in behind her and moved his legs around her body, pulling her back to his chest.
Kate tensed when she felt his fingers tracing the mark on her back. When the incoming water began to cool, Kate reached forward, turned the faucet and made herself lean back against him.
“You’re looking relaxed, Kate. Warm water? Alcohol? Maybe you’re trying to fool me.”
She wasn’t relaxed. Her heart thumped in her chest, but she was determined to make him believe she was coming around.
“This is a beautiful house. Why’s it been left empty?”
“After my mother died here, my father never came again. He wouldn’t rent the place out or sell it.” He soaped Kate’s stomach, his fingers smoothing the foam in a circle and the breath caught in her throat.
“Where does your father live?” she asked.
“He has homes in Houston and San Antonio.”
“What does he do?”
“Aviation insurance . ”
“Does anyone else live out here?”
Jack pinched her nipple and Kate yelped.
“Now you went and spoiled things with that question, Kate, but the answer is no, not at this time of year. Two other houses share the lake. They use a different access road. It’s a long way around the water to reach them and I don’t suggest you try it. I hope I don’t need to remind you if anyone should come to see us, you’d better behave yourself. Maybe it’s time we gave you some history.”
“What?”
“When my father meets you, he’ll want to know where you’re from.”
“Why not tell him the truth?” He wants me to meet his father?
Jack slid soapy hands over her breasts and she tried not to shudder. “It will be the truth, with a few extra details.”
“Such as?”
“We met at Hoopers—a center for disturbed adolescents. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, only we were careless and you got pregnant. You left without telling me about the baby and I never saw you again until you came to visit your mother at Ashlands. Your parents died, then your apartment caught fire and you lost everything. I came to see you that same night and found you and Tommy sitting on the grass watching the firefighters trying to save the building.
It was the first time I’d seen him, but I knew he was mine.”
“Did you start the fire?” Kate asked.
“Very funny.”
He nipped her neck and Kate clenched her fists under the water.
“Was it at Hoopers where the doctor abused you?” she asked.
Jack tensed behind her. “I forgot I told you that. Yeah, it was there. He told me I could go home if I let him fuck me.”
Despite everything, Kate felt a moment of sadness for an abused, vulnerable boy. “Did you tell anyone?”
“My father. He didn’t believe me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you?”
His voice was flat. Kate had no idea what he was thinking.
“Of course I’m sorry. It was a horrible thing to happen to you.”
“Nearly as horrible as what I’ve done to you?”
Kate’s heart sprinted. “You want us to be a family. I can understand that.” His hands continued to roam her body. Kate wished she knew what was going on in his head.
“Play my game, Kate. There really isn’t any choice. Make sure Tommy plays, too. If you say the wrong thing to anyone, they won’t live to repeat it. You know I mean it.”
Kate swallowed hard.
“Now, are you going to be good or bad?”
“I’m not the one who’s bad,” she muttered.
“I know.” He laughed and slid one hand between her legs, the other around her neck.
Chapter Seventeen
Hedley looked at Amy Howe and wondered if she’d be able to go through with this. The kid’s party was in full swing and he thought how hard it had to be watching these little boys enjoying themselves. They’d set everything up in McDonald’s to replicate the day Sammy had gone missing. She ordered and paid for the same food, sat in the same place. The chicken nugget Happy Meal sat on the next table. When she’d repeated the words she’d said to the man, asking him to keep an eye on Sammy, finally she cried.
He knew it had been harrowing, but the physical profile artist he’d flown in had sat next to her with a laptop and sketch book and this time she nodded at the image. Copies were made and police officers visited every shop on Sunshine Plaza armed with the likeness.
The reconstruction of the parking lot went pretty much as Hedley expected. A few people called to say it was too far to drive back, so the police obtained cars of the same make and color from local dealers and parked them themselves. Hedley doubted the kidnapper would risk walking far with the child, so it was likely his vehicle had been left close to the restaurant. By concentrating on the area immediately around McDonald’s, particularly at the point where the dogs lost the scent, they had four vehicles unaccounted for. It was possible their owners hadn’t heard about the appeal, but four vehicles had been seen in that area by other drivers, next to or near their own cars. Two were unidentified pick-ups, one a Chevy Suburban, the other a Lincoln. If they extended the area to include the whole parking lot, there was a minimum of twelve cars missing. However, it was entirely possible this guy had slipped in and out without anyone noticing. Hedley didn’t want to think about that.
***
Nathan didn’t sleep well after Thanksgiving at his sister’s, but tossing and turning all night gave him chance to think. By the time the alarm went off, he’d made a decision. He spent Friday at the office canceling appointments and doing paperwork. On Saturday, he packed a bag, locked his Glock 17 in the trunk, and drove to his sister’s.
Bob was out and Elisa opened the
door. She stuck out her tongue.
“Sorry.” Nathan pulled his hand from behind his back, producing a teddy bear with a red ribbon. “For you or Junior. You choose.” Elisa smiled. “I’m easily bribed. Come in, cruel brother. Time for a coffee?”
“I’ll get it. You sit down.”
Elisa followed him into the kitchen. “You didn’t just come to say sorry. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She sat down heavily on a padded kitchen chair and stared at him. “I’m waiting.”
Nathan exhaled. Elisa knew him too well. He poured two coffees and handed her one before he sat down. “Did Dad say anything after I’d gone?”
“Let me think. Oh yes, how lucky he was to have such a thoughtful child, one with such a great personality who takes after him. How he admires such a sensitive nature, the great sense of humor. How he can’t wait for you to live at home again with him and Mom, sharing—”
“That’s enough.”
“Or was that me?”
“Was he really pissed off?”
“Seriously. To sum it up—he thinks you should damn well grow up. No surprise there and for once, big brother, he’s right.” Nathan chewed his lip.
“What’s all this about, Nathan?” Elisa dropped her voice. “Is it because you still love Alison?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the matter? You can’t carry on like this. Why don’t you go and talk to her instead of brooding about it.”
Nathan could feel Elisa trying to catch his eye.
“I don’t want to see Alison,” he said to the top of the table.
“You’re not in love with her and you don’t want to see her, but I have a feeling you can’t stop thinking about her. Sure you’re not still in love with her?”
“Yes.” He was sure about that.
“Do you want to tell me what really happened? I don’t believe that crap about not wanting children for an instant. I never heard you say you didn’t want kids.
We used to boast we’d have a football team between us.” There was silence for a moment while Nathan contemplated his coffee cup. “I found her in bed with someone.”
“Shit.” Elisa reached across for his hand. Nathan squeezed her fingers.
“See why I didn’t want to tell you?”
“No, I don’t. My God, Nathan, why didn’t you tell us? Why did you let us think it was you? That you’d gotten cold feet about the whole idea of marriage?”
“Because of who I found her with.”
Elisa’s face paled. “Someone I know?”
“Jack Thompson.”
“Oh God. Why didn’t you tell me?” She clutched his fingers more tightly.
“What, and have Dad gleefully say it served me right?” Nathan pulled his hand away.
“He wouldn’t have said that.”
“Yeah, he would. He never wanted me to have anything to do with my mother’s family. He said no good would come of trying to contact them. I can hear him saying I told you so.”
“But Mom and Dad think you’re the bad guy and dumped Alison.”
“That’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. It’s been a year since you split up and you’re so miserable.
Nothing makes you happy. You have to move on, get over it.” Elisa gripped her stomach. “Ouch, bad time to start a serious conversation. Don’t move.” She struggled to her feet, her hands over her belly. “This baby’s bouncing up and down on my bladder.”
“Too much information.” Nathan put his hands over his ears.
“Ha, ha. By the way, I’m expecting Mom here in ten minutes so you better talk fast.” She continued shouting as she walked down the hall. “Don’t you dare leave.
I know you’re thinking about it.”
Nathan smiled to himself, but he was leaving anyway. He finished his coffee, rinsed the mug and put it in the dishwasher. He stared at the dirty plates piled in the sink and loaded those, too.
Elisa came back into the room. “That’s better. I can’t wait to eject this little monster.”
“I have to get going, Elisa. I’ve business in Houston that will take me a couple of days.”
She glared at him. “Nathan, you can’t—”
“I really have to go. When I get back, we’ll talk, I promise.” As he pulled out of the drive, Nathan saw Inez’s car coming. He knew she’d seen him. He also knew Elisa would repeat their conversation word for word. He was a coward getting her to do this for him.
Easy to blame other people for the mess his life had become, but Nathan knew his unhappy teenage years were as much his fault as his father’s and stepmother’s. Once he discovered his birth mother was still alive, he’d been desperate to meet her. He traced her to Houston and borrowed the car without telling his dad. Nathan remembered he’d put on a brand new shirt and tie. In spite of the fact that she’d abandoned him, he wanted to impress her.
The house had amazed him. He got out of the car and stood by the elaborate wrought iron gates, staring down the tree-lined drive at a white colonnaded mansion. Everywhere he looked there were irrigated lawns so the gardens looked impossibly green, like some tropical sea with coral flower beds. He pressed the intercom button before he could change his mind. His stomach churned with a mixture of fear and excitement.
“You must be Nathan.”
His mouth opened in surprise.
“I’m Don Thompson. Come in.” He pried the flowers from Nathan’s grip.
“Maria, put these in water.”
“They’re for…for—” Nathan stuttered.
Don put his arm over Nathan’s shoulders and led him into his study. Nathan had known he was too late before Don had even spoken.
“Elizabeth is dead. She was murdered a month ago.” But he still hadn’t been able to take it in, to come so close only to lose her again.
“There was an intruder at our vacation home in Colorado. Elizabeth and Jack were stabbed. Steven, our youngest son is missing, presumed dead.” Don’s voice cracked.
In the space of a few moments, Nathan had found another family and had lost them.
“They all died?” Nathan whispered.
“Elizabeth was dead by the time I reached her. Jack’s traumatized. Not speaking. After he recovered from his stab wound, he had a nervous breakdown.
He’s in Hoopers, a private clinic.”
“What was she like?”
“A wonderful mother and a wonderful wife.” As Don talked about the fun they’d had as a family, Nathan hadn’t been able to help himself. “If she was so perfect, why did she leave me?”
“She gave you up for me,” Don said.
The truth hurt. She’d loved Don more than him. Nathan made his face show nothing, imagined himself wrapping the pain in endless sheets of paper, until he’d smothered it.
“What are your plans for the future?” Don asked. “Are you going to college?” He offered money and Nathan turned it down.
When he got back, he said nothing to his father and his father said nothing to him, though Nathan wondered if he’d looked at the odometer and guessed.
After Nathan graduated college, he joined the police. He said at his selection interview, it was his abiding sense of the unfairness of life that led him into law enforcement. Although some things couldn’t be put right, a lot could. But deep down, Nathan had a feeling he’d ended up as a policeman because it was the one thing his father pleaded with him not to do. His father had failed to be good enough to keep his mother. Why should Nathan do anything to please him?
Nathan had thought about Jack over the years, how they’d both lost their mothers. Sometimes he was glad Jack had felt the same loss as he did. Alison listened to him talk about his unhappy childhood, commiserated when he described the way Inez treated him compared to his sister. She hadn’t liked Inez either or his father, and he’d loved her for that. Alison encouraged him to contact Don Thompson again, to ask about Jack. So it was her fault. Yeah, right. Nathan had wanted to meet his half-brothe
r because he wanted to ask him about their mother.
After he’d seen Jack and Alison in bed, Nathan walked downstairs, calmly poured himself a drink and sat on the couch. He remembered thinking he should have taken a photo and put it in a brown envelope. It was what he usually did. He swirled the bourbon in the glass, though he didn’t drink. Alison giggled as she and Jack came down. The front door opened and she screamed. She’d seen his car on the drive.
She walked back into the living room, her face devoid of color.
“Nathan, I….”
Jack smirked and drove off, leaving her to him. Nathan waited for an explanation, but she couldn’t speak and he wouldn’t. He packed a bag. Alison sobbed as he left, talking now but not saying the right thing. She didn’t say she was sorry, didn’t see the ravaged expression in his eyes.
“What should I tell my parents? What should I do about the wedding gifts?”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“What about the honeymoon?”
Nathan had the tickets, so he went alone to Cancun and had a miserable time.
When he returned, everything of Alison’s was gone from the house. Just her smell remained and it lingered for a long time. He didn’t try to get in touch with her. When finally she came to see him, Nathan didn’t even want to invite her inside.
“I need to talk to you,” Alison said.
As she shoved past, he smelled her perfume again and it sent a barb into his heart.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Why did you do it?”
“It just happened. A moment’s madness.”
“Was that the only time?” Nathan thought she must be able to see his heart pounding, see his pain but she gave no sign.
“No, but Jack flirted with me from the moment I met him. You must have noticed.”
He hadn’t. “I thought we were all having fun together. I didn’t think my brother and my fiancée were screwing around behind my back.” Had he been so certain of Alison and so mesmerized by Jack that he’d missed the obvious? Was he that stupid? Yeah, he guessed he was.
“So, are you still seeing him?”
“No. Jack’s been admitted to Ashlands psychiatric hospital.” She burst into tears and Nathan couldn’t even bring himself to put his arm around her. She asked him to forgive her and he lied and said he did, but he never wanted to see her again. She had no concept of how deeply she’d hurt him. It had been as if all the misery of his past had been put right by loving her and now there was nothing to save him. The official line was they’d had an irresolvable disagreement, the rumor that he didn’t want kids, but she did. Nathan let the wheel roll.
book Page 13