by C. T. Phipps
Nancy stared at her. “I’ll hunt down your slashers for you.”
“Good,” Bloody Mary said.
“But I want you to free William for it,” Nancy said. “Both of us clear our debt together.”
“Nancy—” I started to speak.
“Oh, this is positively sickening,” Bloody Mary said, sighing. “Very well. I promise I’ll clear both of your debts.”
“When?” I asked. “There’s a lot of slashers in the world.”
Bloody Mary grinned. “You’ll know. Besides, what else are you going to be doing with your time? You were both made for killing.”
“We can be more,” I said, walking over and embracing Nancy.
Nancy embraced me back.
Bloody Mary bit her finger and drew blood before drawing an address on the other side of the mirror. I recognized it and knew we’d been given our first assignment. “Hellspeed my friends.”
She then vanished.
I looked at her. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”
Nancy smiled. “I wanted to.”
“I guess we’re making our own sequel, then,” I replied.
“A slasher romantic comedy,” Nancy replied. “Mom would be proud.”
“I’m sorry she passed,” I replied.
Nancy grimaced. “She didn’t exactly pass. Mike killed her, but in the Darth Vader sense. She’s a slasher too now: hunting down every single person she thinks might become a slasher in the future.”
The discovery that Vivienne Weiss, the original slasher killer, was now one herself didn’t surprise me as much as it should have. The badass babysitter turned action mother was someone who had clearly left a powerful impression on her daughters. One that meant Summer was extra-devoted to killing slashers while Nancy was more inclined to see their humanity. It also meant that, as Carrie had said, Nancy was still a lying liar who lied. However, it wasn’t the worst offense someone could commit as everyone was entitled to their secrets. Nancy was like an onion and I would enjoy peeling back her layers. Okay, that was a terrible metaphor given my family’s history. I wanted to get her to trust me, though, and the fact she accepted me meant that I had to accept her. It also meant Bloody Mary was undoubtedly planning for us to confront Vivienne in the future, but that was demons for you. Whatever the case was, I wanted to spend as much time with Nancy as humanly possible and that apparently was going to be on the road hunting monsters. There were worse ways to spend time, in my opinion.
I blinked. “So, you won’t be taking me to meet the folks anytime soon?”
Nancy frowned then shrugged. “My sister likes you? Ish?”
I kissed her again. “It’s not like my family is any better.”
Carrie walked in the door, Cujo standing behind her. He’d slowly morphed into a jet-black dog with coal red eyes as little bursts of hellfire shout his mouth with every pant. She was wearing a stolen bathrobe and had a toothbrush in her mouth. “I’ve worn Gerald out. Can I join you two?”
“No!” Nancy and I said simultaneously.
We then burst out laughing.
Author’s Note
Hey folks,
I want to thank everyone who took time to read Psycho killers in Love. I want to thank David Niall Wilson for suggesting doing a horror comedy stand-alone and while I’ll probably make a sequel to it (not very stand alone, I know), I absolutely loved doing this lengthy homage to slashers. I also want to thank Dawn Lynn Caldwell Roy, Susanna Sharp-Schwacke, David Dodd, Tracy Gunter, Steve Caldwell, Anders Haywood, and Andy Johnson for their help in making this wonderful book hit the shelves.
Some of you readers may have noticed that there are references in the book to my other novels. That’s because Psycho Killers in Love takes place in the shared United States of Monsters universe, which is a reality where the supernatural is all real. Psycho Killers in Love is technically a prequel as most of the stories take place after 2007 when the supernatural is finally revealed to the world. If you’re interested in reading similar stories of humor, romance, action, and horror then feel free to check out some of the other volumes.
1. The Red Room Trilogy
* Esoterrorism
* Eldritch Ops
* The Fall of the House
Description: Spies vs. the supernatural. The House is the most powerful supernatural faction in the world and has its fingers in every pie. Its only goal is to keep the supernatural under wraps and is the lesser evil (or is it?). Follow James Bond-esque hero, Derek Hawthorne, as he discovers everything he knows is a lie.
2. Bright Falls Mysteries
* I was a Teenage Weredeer
* An American Weredeer in Michigan
* A Nightmare on Elk Street
Description: Jane Doe is an ordinary young woman with the exception of the fact she has all the powers of a weredeer. Speed, shifting, and psychic powers. Unfortunately, she lives in a town where those powers are common as dirt. Still, it’s her job to investigate the town’s many secrets even as they all threaten to come out after the Reveal.
3. Straight Outta Fangton
* Straight Outta Fangton
* 100 Miles and Vampin’
* Vampirez4Life
Description: Peter Stone is a poor black convenience store clerk, who just also happens to be a vampire. However, when a newly turned young woman is found in his business’ rest room, he finds himself in the middle of a massive conspiracy against the undead. From there, it just gets deeper and deeper for the hardest luck undead around.
4. Morgan Detective Agency
* Brightblade
Description: Ashley Morgan has had a checkered history with an attempt to be a superhero, private detective, spy, and bounty hunter at various points in her history. Raised by the House before its fall, Ashley Morgan has a peculiar set of skills that don’t lend themselves well to normal life. Thankfully, in the rough streets of New Detroit, she’ll always have jobs from those with “unique” needs. Like those who need rescuing from monsters.