It was obvious he wasn’t taking a step toward her—proverbial or otherwise. She closed the distance between them, her heels clacking. Shadows ringed his bloodshot eyes, and stubble trailed down his neck. Had he gone partying and done something bad? “About what?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Anger hardened his eyes and voice.
Confusion burnt a path through her body bringing heat into her cheeks. She was the one on the higher moral ground here, wasn’t she? And how did he already know about Hunter and Will? “I was trying to tell you, but you never returned my calls.”
His eyes narrowed. “So Logan wasn’t lying? I took your virginity in college?”
The conversation had veered straight off a cliff. Sand filled her mouth sucking all moisture out, leaving her throat scratchy and only able to choke out one word. “Yes.”
“Fuck!” He exploded into motion, kicking at the bricks. The edge of one crumbled into pieces. “Why’d you lie to me?”
“I didn’t lie.”
“Not outright, maybe, but you lied by omission.”
She stared over his shoulder at the moss-covered bricks, trying to control her anger, but it was impossible. “All right, yes, I lied. Because I knew you’d self-flagellate like some medieval monk. You taking my virginity at some frat party would be your hair shirt, and you’d never look at me or yourself the same way.”
“I deserved to know.”
“Really? It was my virginity, and I chose to lose it to you. You didn’t rape me or coerce me into sex, Alec.”
“So we had drunk sex, and you skipped home to brag to all your friends about how you banged the quarterback.”
His crass assessment unleashed her tongue. “Actually, you rolled off me and pretty much told me to get out. I was humiliated and hurt and hated you for a really long time.”
He rubbed over his mouth and jaw with a hand that trembled. His defensiveness had been a front for his pain and yet she’d still lashed out. She held out a hand and softened her tone. “It was a long time ago, and you don’t even remember it. Can’t you let it go?”
“Did you leave Alabama because of me?”
In the middle of a minefield, she knew one lie would annihilate their relationship. “If you hadn’t been such a jerkwad, maybe I wouldn’t have had the motivation, courage—whatever you want to call it—to head to New York and pursue my dream. I took the easy road by going to Alabama, but it wasn’t what I truly wanted.”
“No wonder you hated me.”
“For a while, yes. But, it hasn’t eaten away at me the last ten years. I’ve lived a damn good life. Art school in New York was the best thing to happen to me. Obviously, I don’t hate you now, Alec.” She attempted to catch his eye, but he seemed to have retreated inside himself. With the desperation of trying to hang onto a rope slipping from her grasp, she said, “I love you.”
Finally he met her eyes, anger and guilt and love warring. He took a step backward, and then another before turning around and walking briskly out of the alley without another word.
A sense of finality crashed through the alley in his wake. That was it? Their relationship was over because of something that happened a decade earlier? No, it was over because she hadn’t told the complete truth.
Tears burned a path through her sinuses, and she sniffed to keep them contained. Apparently Alec never read the relationship manual that stated white lies told to keep from hurting a partner were acceptable. Granted, this omission might have been more gray than white, but her motive had been to protect what was growing between them.
Her hands slipped along the handles of the duffle bag. She was lurking in an alley with a bag full of cash. Not smart. Even if it was only Falcon and not New York City. She double-timed it to her SUV and locked herself inside, gripping the steering wheel. She didn’t have time to wallow and cry. Hunter and Will were counting on her.
And, she’d been counting on Alec, but he was gone.
Chapter 24
Alec sat in his truck and watched Lilliana walk to her SUV, taking in everything about her. From her unusual dress clothes and heels to the bag she clutched to her chest like a lifesaver. She ran the back of her hand under her nose and stumbled on loose gravel. His hand went to the door handle. Maybe he should … No. She’d lied to him.
When he’d told Logan about moving in with her, Logan joked about how crazy it was that Alec had punched Lilliana’s V-card in college and now they were getting serious. The shock felt like being dipped in liquid nitrogen—frozen and brittle.
Everything clicked into place—Lilliana’s animosity for so long, her evasive answers to his questions about her time at Alabama, Jessica Wilde’s vague insinuation. Was their relationship some elaborate plan of revenge or did she really love him?
She sat in her SUV for a long time. In spite of the lie, he loved her. Maybe she hadn’t told him because she hadn’t wanted to hurt him. Maybe after nurturing his past betrayals and fuck-ups he couldn’t recognize normal behavior. He had the door to his truck halfway open when her SUV lurched forward and headed out of the parking lot.
The bitterness of his past seemed to melt away. The realization she might actually love him—the real him, not the college quarterback, not the NFL’s rising star—had straightened his warped sense of what love was and what it could be.
Yet, trust lagged behind love. Why was she dressed up? What was in the bag? Suspicion punched at his stomach. Something was going on. I was trying to tell you, but you never returned my calls. She had definitely not been referring to her long-lost virginity.
Muttering a curse, he started the truck and drove by Hancock House, but Lilliana’s SUV wasn’t out front. He texted her before heading to Hunter’s house in Mill Town. No one was home. He drove up and down the streets looking for familiar cars. A few people were out raking leaves or walking, but the streets were mostly barren on the crisp afternoon.
He headed back through town, finally parking in the football pavilion lot. Had Will made a reappearance? Hunter hadn’t mentioned anything and hadn’t seemed worried or distracted during the game. Unlike Alec.
He texted Lilliana again. No answer. She was giving him a taste of his own childish treatment from the night before. Loneliness mixed with rising panic washed over him. He broke down and called Logan.
Logan answered on the second ring, the buzz of a busy kitchen behind him. “Dude.”
Alec checked his watch and mouthed a curse. Logan would be right in the middle of dinner preparations at Adaline’s. “Sorry, man, I wasn’t thinking about the time. I’ll catch you later.”
“No! Hang on a sec.” The noise decreased. “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
“For that thing with Lilliana. Jessie nearly took my balls off. Apparently, it was a girl secret, and I ran my mouth. Didn’t realize things were so complicated. Let me know how I can make things right.”
Alec’s hand relaxed on the steering wheel. “Actually, I’m looking for her. Or Hunter. Have you seen either one of them?”
“When I left, Lilliana was out at the house with Jessie. Hence my near denutting. Hunter picks up shifts at Huck’s sometimes on the weekends. Worth a drive-by. What’s going on? Anything I can help with?”
“Honestly, I have no clue what’s going on, but I have a bad feeling it involves Will Galloway. Right now, I just want to lay eyes on Lilliana and Hunter.”
“Call me if you need me. I mean it.”
Alec swallowed. Logan did mean it, and for the first time in a long time, he felt like he had a real friend. “Appreciate it, man.”
He disconnected and headed toward Huck’s. Sure enough, Hunter’s car sat in a gravel lot behind the convenience store. Alec parked off to the side and headed to the front entrance. Before he made it within ten feet, Hunter pushed the door open with a shoulder, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, his head down.
“Hunter!”
The boy looked up and slowed. His eyes widened and a panicked look came over
his face as if he’d been caught doing something wrong. Alec hoped that wasn’t the case as he fell into step beside him. Hunter fumbled with his keys, keeping his gaze focused anywhere except on Alec. They stopped by his beat-up car, and Alec positioned himself in front of the driver’s door.
“What the hell are you and Lilliana up to?” He didn’t try to mask the protective growl in his voice.
Hunter bobbled his keys to the ground, crouching down to avoid an immediate answer. On his slow rise, he said, “Nothing. Why? What did she say?”
The boy gave her up with the rush of edgy questions. Alec breathed out long and slow to control the frustration. “Tell me.”
The keys jangled discordantly as Hunter transferred them hand to hand. “You’ve got to swear not to go to the police.”
His mouth dried making his next words husky and low. “I can’t promise that until I know what’s going on. Are you and Lilliana doing something illegal?”
“No,” Hunter said quickly. “Maybe.”
“Super-reassuring. Getting arrested will annihilate your scholarship chances. Tell me so I can help.”
Not very succinctly, and with more excuses than his brother deserved, Hunter got the story out. Alec ran a hand through his hair, his stomach pulverized in the gravel at their feet. The thought of Lilliana, alone and vulnerable, shot adrenaline-fueled urgency through his body.
All his thoughts muddled into one—protect Lilliana. “When and where is this meeting supposed to take place?”
Hunter rattled off the time and the name of a dead-end street in Mill Town. “I’ve been worrying all day. I took off early so I could meet her even though she told me to stay out of it.”
Alec checked his watch and kicked a plume of pebbles and dust into the air. He had ten minutes. Jabbing a finger at Hunter, he said, “Get your ass home and wait. I’ll go.”
He ran toward his truck and slid behind the wheel. Hunter followed, but Alec locked the doors, leaving Hunter to fumble with the handle and slap his hand against the passenger window. Alec rolled it halfway down.
“I want to come. This is my fault.” Hunter’s face reflected the boyish earnest look of a Boy Scout.
“First off, this is your brother’s fault, not yours. Second, no way in hell are you coming. Go home and wait. Promise me.” Once the boy nodded, Alec wasted no time, peeling out of the parking lot.
Lilliana had been trying to tell him. She’d called and texted him repeatedly, but he’d been focused on something that had happened a decade earlier and that had no bearing on their future. Because he’d had his head up his ass, Lilliana was in danger.
He punched in Rick’s number and laid everything out on the table. Rick didn’t interrupt and was silent for a few beats. “My advice is to drag her out before the deal goes down or let her give this gang leader his money.”
Entering Mill Town, he hit a pothole, and the steering wheel jerked to the right. “Are you crazy?”
“Look, by the time I get someone down there, the handoff will be on, and she could get hurt. If we wait, I’ll have enough time to get a roadblock set up on the highway out of town and catch the motherfuckers with a load of cash and probably drugs.”
“What about Will Galloway?”
“We’ll send a narcotics officer to his house with a warrant. Search his car, his room. The punk has pot stashed at the very least. I’ve wanted to nail him for a while.” A fair amount of antipathy colored Rick’s words. Alec hoped Hunter would forgive him, but he couldn’t allow Will to drag everyone he cared about down.
Alec checked his watch. If everyone was on time, he had a little less than five minutes. He parked a street over and slipped between houses hoping a dog didn’t attack or, even more dangerous, a granny with a gun.
He was more out of breath than he should have been after the short jog, fear clamping his lungs. Her SUV was parked at the very end of the street. She stood under a flickering, dim streetlight. Dark wash jeans and a gray hoodie pulled over her head completed what he was sure she considered “street wear.” She scuffed her red Chucks where the pavement petered into grass. The splash of color stood out like they’d been painted on a black-and-white photo.
He stopped in the shadow of the only house on the street and took a deep breath, relief loosening the bands around his chest but not doing much to help his worry. The rubble of three demolished houses carved grassless depressions in the ground. He stayed tight to the narrow strip of pine trees ringing the back, coming up behind Lilliana.
“Are you insane?” Maybe he should have tempered his words or modulated the angry edge in his voice, but the idea she was ready to fling herself into danger made him feel protective yet powerless.
She startled around, her dark eyes appearing even larger framed by the hood. “Wh-What are you doing here? You have to go.” Her attempt to push him away was feeble.
“No way in hell. In fact, you are going to get in your SUV, and I’m going to make the handoff.”
“How did you know?” Her lips barely moved on her whisper.
“Got my head out of my ass after seeing you in the alley. I ran down Hunter and he squealed. Where’s the money?”
“Front seat.”
Alec unzipped the bag he’d seen her with earlier. Several thousand if he had to guess. “Where did you get this kind of cash?”
“Will had already raised half. I got paid for my portrait of Edwin. I cashed out enough to pay this guy to keep him from hurting Hunter.”
“The dude threatened to hurt Hunter if Will didn’t pay him?”
“Threatened to break his throwing hand and worse.”
Headlights swept over them. An older silver Mercedes with blacked-out windows pulled beside them. Alec left the bag and stepped forward, forcing Lilliana behind him. Her trembles vibrated the hand he wrapped around her forearm.
The window rolled down. A black man with ebony-colored skin and in his late twenties propped his arm on the frame, his elbow ashy and scabbed. One of his caramel-colored eyes was ringed with puffy skin. A middleman, if Alec had to guess. The recipient of pressure from bigger dogs who in turn put pressure on his minions.
Alec raised his chin in acknowledgment but offered no greeting.
“Told to expect a lady. That her?” He pointed, a chunky gold bracelet reflecting back the meager light.
“You Reggie?” Alec asked, even though he already knew the answer.
“You a cop?”
“Nope. I’m her boyfriend. If you thought I’d let her come out here alone to make a deal, you’re crazier than she is.”
Lilliana pressed in closer behind him, her free hand at his waist.
Reggie’s smile flashed big and white and charming. Male chuckles sounded from the backseat, but Alec couldn’t see anything beyond Reggie. “Fair enough. You got what’s mine?”
“Depends. You going to lay off the Galloways?”
“Will’s one of my boys. If he comes to me looking for work…” He shrugged.
“What about his brother? I want a guarantee you won’t use him as leverage again.”
“I promise not to touch the Golden Boy.” Dripping sarcasm, Reggie drew an X over his heart.
Alec didn’t believe him, not for a second, but he didn’t see another way out of the mess. Over his shoulder, he whispered, “Get the bag.”
Her warmth disappeared and the car door slammed. Alec never took his eyes off Reggie. She resumed her position behind him, the bag finding its way into his hands. He tossed it through the open window like a football. Reggie examined the contents. “Tell Will to be more careful next time.”
The window rolled up and the car drove away. Alec stared until the red brake lights were out of sight. He turned and grabbed Lilliana close, her hood falling backward. The scent of her hair enveloped him, smothering the faint traces of decay and trash.
“Goddamnit, Lilliana. You could have been shot and left for dead. What the hell were you thinking?” The thought of her being snuffed out nearly sent him to his
knees.
She curled her hands under his arms. “I couldn’t let Hunter get hurt.”
“I know you tried to tell me, and I know I’ve been an asshole. Finding out about us in college threw me into a tailspin. I wasn’t sure why you hadn’t told me.”
She twisted as far away as the tight clamp of his arms would allow. “I didn’t tell you because it didn’t matter anymore, and I knew it would hurt you. I love you, Alec. When you hurt, I hurt. I wanted to protect you. Can you understand that?”
He heaved a breath. He understood the sentiment like he understood the sun rose in the morning. Imagining Lilliana hurt had nearly destroyed him. “I love you, too. Can you forgive me?”
“I can forgive you, if you can trust me. I need to be able to count on you.”
The irony of him nearly deserting her tonight demolished every brick of the wall he’d mortared with resentment and betrayal. “You can count on me. The way I need you is a loneliness I cannot bear.”
She circled her arms around his neck, pulling his head down. Her lips found his forehead, his temple, his cheek before landing on his mouth. They were cool yet sweet, forgiving yet resolved, and he kissed her back with his promise.
His phone rang. He slipped it out of his back pocket and glanced at the screen before answering. “Did you get them?”
With a siren and the murmuring of many voices in the background, Rick’s voice veered high and loud. “Sure did. Recovered the money. Found a stash of drugs in the spare-wheel well.”
“Great. When can Lilliana get her money back?”
A door slammed and the background noise reduced to a faint whirling siren. “Lilliana can never claim that money, Alec. They didn’t know her name and I won’t push the issue, but that money is gone if you want to keep her safe. You understand?”
Alec tightened his arm around her and laid his cheek against the top of her head. “Got it.”
Rick’s voice turned brisk. “Two narcotics officers are searching Will Galloway’s house. I hope to God Hunter is clean.”
“I’ll head over there now.” Alec disconnected, cutting off Rick’s faint protest.
Melting Into You Page 24