“Was that your intention? Because, as you can see, it didn’t work,” I assured her. “Come on, let’s talk on the dance floor.”
She couldn’t resist, as I had hoped, and followed me to the dance floor. Melinda was dancing with the ape, but never took her eyes off of me. Meg and Frankie also were dancing, and though they weren’t as obvious as Melinda, I knew they were watching as well.
The orchestra switched to a slow song, I think at Meg’s suggestion, because it makes it easier to talk. I took Tori’s hand and put my other hand on her shoulder, keeping her as far away from me as possible. I wanted a confession, not a groping.
“So, what did Blackie tell you about me?” Tori asked.
That you can’t get a woman to touch you without drugging her first. “She said that you were just a patsy.”
“A patsy? What kind of crack is that?”
“Don’t take it the wrong way. You might say that she was giving you a compliment,” I explained. “Blackie knows that you didn’t want to humiliate her like that, but you had no choice.”
“She said that?” Tori asked, softening her edge a little bit.
“Yes, she said you were best friends in college, and she always took care of you. I guess she’s still trying to take care of you now, because she pleaded with me to understand.”
“And do you understand?” she asked.
“Yes. I understand that it wasn’t your fault. As I said, you were just a pawn in someone else’s game. ”
Tori pulled me closer in spite of my resistance. “You’re wrong, honey. I knew what I was doing, and I’d do it again, if it would please her.”
“Her? Do you mean Blackie?”
“Are you kidding? Blackie had too many scruples to be any fun.”
“We are talking about Blackie Blackstone, right?” I knew that Melinda had scruples, but Blackie’s reputation said otherwise.
“No, we’re not. We’re talking about somebody else you know.”
Well that’s One Way to find Out — Melinda and King Kong
My skin was beginning to itch from the fake fur rubbing against it. King Kong agreed to dance with me, but he never said a word, no matter how hard I tried to engage him. So I danced, ignoring him and watching Chris. My whole body flushed hot when Tori pulled her closer. I felt almost like she was purposely punishing me. Or was it Chris who was punishing me by allowing it? I needed to get her out of Tori’s arms, and fast, before I lost my temper.
“So, what’s a classy gorilla like you doing dating a nutcase like Tori?”
That got a rise out of the ape. He stepped back and shook his head, which actually was quite comical the way the rubber mouth contorted with each move.
“I’m sorry, I don’t speak gorilla. What are you trying to say, that Tori is a slut who can’t get laid without drugs?”
He shook his head again, waving his hand in the air.
“Look, I’m getting tired of this game. Just answer the damn question. Is Tori a slut or isn’t she?”
And again he shook his head.
“This is bullshit, John. We know who you are so give it up already.”
Even through the rubber mouth I could tell that he was laughing at me. He was a confident bastard, I’ll give him that. Then a thought occurred to me. What if it wasn’t John? We’ve been waiting this whole time for John to show up, thinking that this gorilla was him, but what if the person in the gorilla costume was a red herring?
I looked around to find my father. He was talking with my mom, his bodyguard standing nearby. He was fine. I knew he was the key to luring John here tonight, because when Chris called to invite them, Teresa seemed overly excited that my father would be here when Chris mentioned it. She assured us that they would come tonight. Yet, they don’t appear to be here.
What I’m just now realizing though, is that maybe she did come after all and was dressed as a gorilla. Looking closer at the costume I decided to test my theory. I grabbed for his crotch and squeezed. That provided two clues. One, there was no penis, and two, the gorilla screamed like a soprano, and I’m not talking about the television show.
“Okay, who the hell are you and what are you doing here?” I demanded to know. “You weren’t invited.”
“Yes, Blackie, I was,” she said as she pulled off the mask. “Hi, we spoke on the phone. I’m Teresa Mooney, John’s wife.”
The Jig is Up — Meg, Frankie, Chris, Melinda, Felicia, Robert, Elizabeth, Derrick, Tori and Teresa
When I saw Blackie grabbed that gorilla’s crotch, I hoped that she was on to something and not making a spectacle of herself, as she’s so fond of doing. I was surprised to see that it was a woman under that mask, and confused to learn that it was John’s wife. Does that mean John won’t be making an appearance at all tonight? Are Tori and Teresa partners, or sisters, or maybe they’re the blackmailers? Just as I was about to find out, Derrick came running over to me, panting with excitement, insisting that I listen to him. Blackie and Tori were exchanging cuss words so I stepped away from the group so I could hear what Derrick had to say.
“I heard the voice,” he exclaimed. “It’s him, I know it is.”
“Whoa, slow down,” I said. I needed to verify what he was trying to tell me. “You think the man who hired you over the phone to take photos of Blackie a few years ago is here in this room right now?”
“Yes, that’s him, over there against the wall.”
“Do you mean the guy in the black suit?”
“No, the cowboy standing next to him,” Derrick clarified.
“Holy shit!”
I couldn’t believe it. Derrick was talking about Robert Blackstone, Blackie’s father. That couldn’t be right. Why would a father blackmail his own daughter? He’d be extorting his own money, which I could understand if he were embezzling, but to do that to his daughter? Perhaps he’s bankrupt and this was a way to gain sympathy from his board of directors.
The only way to get the answers was to gather the suspects together and make them talk, so with the help of Frankie, we herded everyone across the hall to an empty banquet room and told them to sit down. They weren’t happy with the request, but we phrased it in such a way as to convince them that they didn’t have a choice in the matter.
“Now listen up, people,” I said, ready to play hard ball. “Something is going on here, and we’re going to get to the bottom of it, and no one is leaving here until we do.”
“You can’t keep us against our will,” Tori complained.
“Ah, our first volunteer,” I remarked, feeling cocky. “For those of you who don’t know, this is Tori Wilson. She drugged Melinda and then made it look like she was sexing her up on the pool table. But as soon as Chris saw you two together, you suddenly disappeared, leaving Melinda passed out.”
“It’s not my fault if I’m too much woman for her,” Tori retorted.
“Bullshit!” Blackie yelled.
I ignored Blackie’s outburst and looked at Teresa. “And for those of you who don’t know, this is John’s wife, Teresa. Please explain to everyone where John is at, Teresa. You were supposed to bring him, not Tori.”
“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” Teresa declared.
“You do if you want to stay out of jail,” I bluffed, noticing her nostrils flare. “Here’s what I think.” I looked over at Frankie and winked. This was my favorite part that I rarely got to do; lay all the cards on the table and shoot from the hip, metaphorically speaking, of course. “I think John had absolutely nothing to do with the second blackmail scheme. It’s obvious to me that you are the one who set the whole thing up, Teresa. You saw the commercial on television, called Blackie and blamed her for John’s failure as a man, and then dared her to help him out. You knew that would lure Blackie to San Francisco where you could put your plan into play.”
“That’s nonsense,” Teresa refuted. “How would I know how to get in touch with her once she got here? The only phone number I had was the scholarship line.”
&nbs
p; “Well, that’s actually the brilliant piece of your plan, and how John fits into all of this. Once you were forwarded to Blackie’s cell, John hacked into it. And when Chris called you to set up a lunch date, John hacked into hers also. After that he could see their calendars and GPS coordinates, or he could teach you how to see them.”
Blackie took her cellphone from her jacket pocket and placed it on the floor. Then she stomped on it with the heel of her boot.
“My John? Please. He couldn’t hack his way out of a paper bag,” she scoffed.
“But, in fact, he hacked Mr. Blackstone’s radio station when he was in college. I imagine it wouldn’t be too hard to hack a cellphone after that. So, all three of you are looking at a jail sentence. John for two counts of illegal hacking. Tori for illegally drugging Blackie, and you, Teresa, for conspiracy to commit blackmail. Now, personally, I urged Blackie to press charges and throw your asses in jail immediately. But she is much nicer than I am and wants to give you a chance to tell your side of the story. Tori, how about we start with you? Who told you to drug Blackie and act like you were having consensual sex?”
I structured my sentence to give Tori a way out, or, a way to hang herself. If she was acting alone, she would take the way out.
“We were just having some fun,” Tori replied.
“Bullshit,” Blackie scoffed. Chrissie patted Blackie’s leg, and she calmed down.
“And who is we?” I pressed on.
“My lover and I,” she responded. “We were horny as all get out and she wanted to have an orgy in the pool room.”
She wasn’t giving me a name, so I back ended my next question. “So, you two like having orgies at other people’s expense. Tell me, does Teresa let you be on top sometimes?”
“No, she likes to be the dominatrix,” Tori said proudly, and then realized that she had just confirmed who her lover was. She looked at Teresa, who glared at her. Tori had the look of a child caught in a lie.
I just had an inspiration. “You’ve been on the bottom of that relationship since college, haven’t you, Tori?”
“If you mean that we’ve been lovers since then, than yeah, I was,” Tori replied.
“But she wasn’t willing to leave her husband, who she clearly detests, for you.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind,” I said with a smile. “So the plan was to blackmail Blackie, take the money and split it three ways, is that right?” I asked.
Tori laughed. “No, Teresa said we’d fly down to Rio and have a party. John wasn’t invited.”
“Shut the hell up, bitch,” Teresa chided.
“Excuse me, but I just have to say this. You suck at being a Christian, Teresa,” Chris said, shaking her head. “Everything you said at our lunch was a lie. You’re nothing but a liar, hurting people for the fun of it, using people you supposedly love. You’re the devil incarnate, and if Tori had half a brain in that pink head of hers, she’d drop kick your ass into next month.”
It was obvious to me that Teresa intended to leave John behind as a scapegoat. But what wasn’t obvious was why John hacked into the radio station in the first place. “Teresa, there’s one piece left to the puzzle. Why did John hack into the radio station playlist?”
“He did that on his own to impress me,” she stated mockingly. “It was just a stupid college prank.”
“He wanted to program love songs so that they played while he asked her to marry him,” Tori explained.
“That’s romantic, in an illegal sort of way. Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Blackstone?” I asked, turning to look at him.
“Yes, I agree with the illegal part,” he responded.
“But blackmailing someone isn’t illegal, wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Blackstone?” I asked, baiting him purposely.
“Of course it’s illegal,” he said, standing up as if to be more intimidating. “What are you insinuating, Ms. Bumgartner?”
“Well, it has been brought to my attention that you, Mr. Blackstone, were the one who hired Derrick to take pictures of Blackie in a compromising position with Tori, when they were in college. Which means that you are the one who blackmailed her the first time.”
Melinda stood up angrily. “What the fuck, Meg. That’s my father you’re talking about.”
“Yes, I am aware of that, Blackie. But it would explain why your father was so generous to Derrick. He gave him your car and a job, when, in fact, he should have had Derrick thrown in jail. What doesn’t make sense is why your father would do that to you?”
“To teach her a lesson,” Elizabeth confessed.
“Mother, no,” Blackie gasped.
“It’s true, Melinda,” Robert admitted. “I was trying to teach you the consequences of your whoring ways.”
I could tell that Blackie was hurt by his revelation, and for that I was sorry.
“Damn, what a dad,” she chided. “Did they give you the father of the year award for that one?”
“I was trying to help you, Melinda. Just like Felicia and Carl tried to help Christine by kicking her out of the house.”
Chrissie opened her mouth to protest, but Felicia stood up and waved her index finger at him.
“Don’t you dare compare what we did for our child out of heartbreak, for what you did to yours, for monetary gain,” she said, shaking, with tears running down her cheeks. Chrissie put her arm around Felicia’s shoulders.
Elizabeth jumped up. “And don’t you dare insinuate that your suffering a wild teenage daughter is any worse than our suffering one.”
This had the potential to get way out of hand, and I wasn’t going to let that happen. “All right, let’s just sit down and discuss this calmly.” No one was listening to me. “I said SIT DOWN!” I shouted. They heard me that time and after a pregnant pause, where they debated whether to leave or not, they sat back down.
“Blackie, you are the victim in all this. Do you have anything you want to say?”
“Damn straight I do,” she barked and jumped up.
I sat down and let her have the floor.
“First, I completely understand my parents’ way of trying to teach me a lesson. I don’t like it, but I understand it. But understanding their reasoning behind it doesn’t mean I’m not really hurt by it, and am in fact, really pissed at them for it.”
“Darling, we were only trying to help you,” Elizabeth said apologetically.
“Let me finish, Mother,” Blackie requested. “Understanding what Chris and her parents went through to get her to stop drinking helps me better understand what you and Father were trying to do, Mother. Your method failed, but that doesn’t mean you love me any less by trying. It does show you both what doesn’t work with me. I am my father’s daughter, after all.”
“May I say something?” Blackstone asked.
“Again, let me finish, Father,” Blackie asserted. “You say that you want me to run your Memphis firm. It means a lot to me that you would have that kind of faith in me. Thanks to my wife, I’m ready to be an adult and take on more responsibility. But, just so there are no false expectations, I have no desire to be a mogul like you, Father. Chris and I have plans for the future and it doesn’t include sitting on your golden throne in your golden office here in California.” Blackie held her hand out to indicate that he could speak now.
He stood up and walked over to his daughter, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Melinda, we both know I would never win the father of the year award, but what I did, I did out of love for you. I know you credit Chris for sobering you up, as do I. But the sober you turned out to be a wonderful young woman and I had something to do with that. As you said, you are my daughter. Don’t throw that away because you’re blinded by hormones.”
“He means because you’re a newlywed blinded by love,” Elizabeth explained, trying to soften the insult.
Blackie took a step back, breaking his contact with her. “I hear what you’re saying, Father, and what you’re not saying. I think we have reached an understanding.”
; Blackstone nodded and sat back down beside his wife.
Blackie took a moment, and then walked over to where Tori and Teresa were sitting. “I want you two bitches to understand that I will not tolerate any more shit from you. My wife and I are on to you, and I will use every last penny I have to make your life a living hell if I hear of you trying to blackmail someone else. And trust me when I say that I have the resources at hand,” Blackie pointed at me, “to know your every move.”
I tipped my hat in a show of solidarity.
“Now get the fuck out of my sight before I change my mind and have you both arrested,” Blackie demanded.
Chris got up and opened the door to the hallway, then looked at Tori and then Teresa. “As a Christian, who doesn’t have to lie about being a real one, I will say a prayer for both of you. Especially you, Teresa,” Chrissie asserted. “As a protective wife, I will also assure you both that if I see either one of you near my wife again, I will beat the shit out of you, personally.”
“And I’ll be waiting in line to help her,” Blackie boasted.
Note to self, don’t piss these two off at the same time.
Tori was about to say something, when Teresa grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door. Chris slammed the door behind them. Then she softened, and looked at the rest of us.
“It’s time to get the party started,” she said with a smile.
Hooray for Hollywood — Chris, Melinda, George, Felicia, Elizabeth & Robert and Norma
My head was still reeling from the emotional drama of learning how victimized Melinda was by her own father. She had made a poignant speech, but I could tell she was hurting more than she let on. I don’t care what any of them said, it was completely different than what my parents did to me. My parents hired Meg to watch over and protect me, although I didn’t know it at the time. Melinda’s parents hired a photographer to take graphic photos of her so they could blackmail her into submission. There’s something very wrong with that.
“Chris, hurry, help me with this, will you please?” my mother asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
Separating Riches Page 24