“Sounds like a good cause.”
Nicki looked away from his probing stare, tucking her hair behind her ears. She always had the feeling he was trying to figure her out. “I’ve been considering your offer to rent the apartment, and I think having you upstairs would be a good idea.”
Ethan smiled. “Great. I’ll get started fixing it up.”
“You can move in as soon as you’d like. I suppose we should discuss the rent.” She suggested an amount and Ethan quickly agreed. Nicki sighed in relief. She’d been afraid it was too high. Being able to count money coming in each month would give her some breathing room in her newly reduced budget. Having Ethan around greatly eased her fears. Especially since the burglars hadn’t been caught yet. Once he moved in upstairs, she’d feel even more secure.
“Where would you like me to start today?”
“Would you look at this floor plan and tell me if it’s possible using the old fixtures?” She’d intended to hand the paper to him, but he came to her side of the desk and leaned over her shoulder. He rested one hand on the back of her chair and placed the other on the desktop, fingers splayed as he looked at the plans.
He had nice hands, with long, tapered fingers, strong and capable. She fought the urge to look up at him. To do so would bring their faces close together, and her pulse was already racing from being so near his warm male energy.
He pointed to the area near the front door where she’d sketched a small rectangle. “What’s this?”
“I thought it would be a good place to put that shelf that holds the day planners and date books.”
Ethan picked up the drawings. “Let’s go out front and take a look. I might be able to reconfigure one of the shelves to fit beside it.”
Over the next half hour they came up with a plan that was both practical and economical. Nicki’s confidence was soaring.
Back in the office Ethan glanced around the room. “Is the little one here today?”
Was he warming to her daughter? Nicki thought about that odd moment yesterday when she’d lifted Sadie from his arms. Their eyes had locked. The touch of his hand had jolted through her, connecting the three of them. Unable to explain it, she’d blamed it on fatigue and stress coupled with the nearness of a very compelling man with beautiful brown eyes.
“She’s sleeping. Finally. She was up and down all night. I’d planned on working tonight, but I don’t think I have the energy.”
Ethan shifted his weight, slipping his hands into his back pockets. “I’ve been meaning to tell you. I can’t work late on Wednesday nights.”
“Oh. Church night, huh?”
His eyes held hers a moment, giving her the impression he was going to say something more.
“Right.”
“No problem. I need to get back into church activities more, but I’m too tired these days. Maybe once things settle down.” The excuse sounded false, even to her. The truth was, she didn’t feel comfortable at Peace Community Church anymore, and she wasn’t sure why. She’d grown up in that congregation, but each Sunday she found herself unable to concentrate and eager for the service to end. She’d even considered attending a different church.
As she went back to work, she wondered about Ethan’s Wednesday night activities. She’d assumed he was going to church, but she had no reason to think that, other than he prayed before meals and he knew Jim Barrett. Her curiosity grew. She was coming to like Ethan, even trust him, but she knew little more about him now than she had a few days ago. What was he hiding? Or was he like her, merely keeping certain parts of his life private?
She kept her secrets out of shame. What secrets was he keeping?
* * *
Ethan had been back from lunch for barely a half hour when Sadie’s loud cries sounded from the office. His heart raced as he hurried from the stockroom to the office in quick strides. He saw Nicki and the baby as she paced the small room, patting Sadie’s little back and cooing softly.
“What’s wrong with her? Is she all right?”
“She’s tired. I’m hoping to get her settled down soon, but she won’t eat. I think she might have an upset stomach.” Nicki shifted the baby and lifted the bottle, touching it against the little mouth, but Sadie wasn’t interested.
“What can you do?”
“Nothing. Just wait until she feels better. Ethan, do you think you could handle the sales counter for a half hour or so? If I can have a few more minutes with her, I think she’ll calm down and eat. Then I can put her down for her nap.”
Ethan tensed. “I’m not that experienced on the register yet.” It was a lame excuse, but he wasn’t looking forward to waiting on customers.
“You’ll be fine. If you run into any difficulty, come and get me, but I don’t think you’ll have a problem.”
He nodded, adding a reassuring smile he didn’t feel. Nicki was struggling with the baby. The least he could do was wait on a few customers. Walking out into the store, he dragged a hand along the back of his neck, trying to ignore the nervousness in his chest. Stepping from behind the camera and dealing with people face-to-face was still unnerving. Foster care had taught him strangers were people to be avoided. Not friends.
He stopped in the middle of the store, feeling exposed and vulnerable. Life was so much simpler when viewed through the camera lens. This was absurd. He’d spent three years in a war zone, but the thought of confronting customers left him jittery. Placing his hands on his hips, he scanned the store. Surely he could handle a few sales on his own.
He thought about Nicki and the way she approached each person who entered the store. She always smiled, always had a kind word for the customers, inquiring about them and their families. She flitted from one task to another, moving with so much energy and vitality he wondered where it all came from. Yet there were circles under her pretty eyes, and he’d seen the fatigue shadow her expression more times than he could count. She was doing a Herculean job of managing the store and caring for Sadie. He’d begun to worry that she’d collapse from sheer exhaustion. She’d mentioned that she lived with her parents and that her dad was recuperating from a kidney transplant. She needed help.
He was that help.
The doorbell jingled as he approached the sales counter. A middle-aged woman entered and walked straight to the back, turning down the middle aisle. He’d noticed that the customers knew exactly where to find what they were looking for. Not good. The first rule of retail was to keep the merchandise fresh by moving things around so customers would see something different each time they came.
“Excuse me.”
He faced the customer, remembering to smile. “Yes, ma’am?”
She frowned. “Who are you?”
“Ethan Stone.”
“You’re the new guy Nichelle hired, right? I’m Sylvia Carver. My hubby, Aaron, and I own the furniture store across the way. Where did you hide those little dots?” She looked around.
“Ma’am?”
“I need those little colored sticky dots. I’m pricing items for the sidewalk sale and those are easy for people to see. And I need some of those little price tags with strings to attach to furniture pieces we’ll put on the sidewalk.”
Ethan led her to the aisle and pointed out the selection. She made her choice, then followed him to the checkout counter. “Y’all taking part in the sidewalk sale?”
“I believe so.”
“Hello, Miss Sylvia.” Nicki hurried forward and gave the woman a hug.
“Nice to see you, dear. How’s that little girl of yours?”
“She’s asleep. Finally.” Nicki glanced at the items on the counter. “Did you find what you needed?”
“Thanks to your young man.” She winked as she handed Ethan a credit card. “He tells me you’re going to participate in the sidewalk sale this year. That’s good to know.
I talked to Angie Durrant, who’s heading the Square Fair Committee, and she told me there are more stores signed up than ever before. Our little one-day event is becoming very popular.”
“That’s good to hear. We can use the extra sales.”
“Can’t we all.” Sylvia picked up her package and left with a wave of her hand.
Nicki grabbed Ethan’s forearm with both hands, a big smile on her face. She looked like a little girl who’d been told she was going to see the circus.
“Did you hear what she said? The sale is going to be bigger than ever. We need to get busy around here. When can we start painting these shelves?”
Ethan chuckled. Her enthusiasm filled him with a desire to work round the clock to ensure her plan came together. “Who’s this we you keep talking about? Does your hand fit a paintbrush?”
Nicki laughed and started back to the office, glancing over her shoulder at him with a teasing smile. “Yes, and a hammer and a saw. I’m very talented.”
* * *
By the end of the day, Ethan had grown comfortable assisting customers, and Nicki had settled on the final arrangement for the shelves. It had been a good day and his relationship with Nicki had grown. Nicki’s easygoing attitude and her welcoming spirit were giving him direction on how to live in the moment and not hide.
Ethan straightened up the stockroom before leaving at the end of the day. After a quick goodbye to Nicki, he got into his car and headed toward the Dixiana Motor Lodge. Tonight was his first meeting with Ron’s PTSD group, and he didn’t want to be late. After a quick stop at a fast-food place, he returned to his room. The place was really beginning to feel cramped. He was anxious to start fixing up the apartment above the store. Hopefully he’d have it ready by the weekend. He’d have to purchase furniture, a bed, dresser and a sofa. Maybe a flat-screen and kitchen items, but the old table and chairs in the place would suffice.
As he pulled his taco from the sack, his cell rang. A quick glance at the caller’s name set his teeth on edge. Karen. His boss at TNZ. How had she found him?
He knew what she wanted. She wanted him back on a plane, headed to some foreign crisis, camera in hand. He’d told her repeatedly that he wasn’t going back. His life as a photographer was over. But Karen refused to accept it. That was why he’d taken the leave of absence. He needed time to regroup, find out who he was and where he was going with his life.
Tossing the phone onto the bed, he decided that tomorrow he’d buy a new phone. Whatever it took to keep Karen Holt off his back.
* * *
Ethan had no trouble finding the church gym at Hope Chapel that evening. There was a noisy game of basketball going on when he entered. Ron Morrison came toward him with a welcoming smile. “Hey, Ethan. Glad you could make it.” They shook hands. “Let me introduce you to the guys.”
Ron was fifteen years older and a retired marine. Joe Ford, a stocky man of medium height, with intelligent eyes, was a former cop. Ethan guessed he was in his early forties. Stan Arnold was a retired career navy man. The other new member, Bobby Edmonds, was a twentysomething army corporal who’d been recently discharged.
Ethan knew each man had a story. He also knew from experience that it took time and trust before the members felt safe enough to open up and share their pain. He wasn’t ready to reveal his experience tonight.
The aroma of fresh pizza brought shouts of approval from the men as a deliveryman walked into the gym with two large boxes. The smell triggered Ethan’s hunger. He’d barely touched the taco after Karen’s call.
Ron paid the man, then led the men to a small room off the gym filled with comfortable furniture and a table and chairs. After they’d quickly inhaled the pizza, Ron opened the meeting with prayer, then addressed upcoming service projects. “It’s our week to work at the Dover homeless shelter. We’ll be serving the meal from eleven to one on Sunday. I hope y’all will try and make it. Service projects are a key element in your recovery.”
The new guy, Bobby, crossed his arms over his chest. “How’s serving food going to help me with my PTSD?”
The man had a defiant tone to his voice. Ethan suspected Bobby was still at the stage where he felt his PTSD was a physical scar visible to everyone. Ethan remembered the feeling well and felt compelled to respond. He leaned forward, meeting Bobby’s gaze. “Helping others takes your mind off your own problems and gives you a new perspective.”
Ron nodded. “Ethan is right about that. It helps you see that everyone has problems.”
Bobby shook his head. “Sounds too easy.”
“It’s not easy at all. But you won’t know until you give it a shot.”
After cleaning up the room, the men headed out. Ethan found himself walking to his car alongside Ron.
“So, you think you’ll be able to help out at the shelter Sunday?”
Ethan had intended to skip it. He was eager to finish up the apartment over the store so he could move in after church. But then he thought about his reaction to seeing Nicki and Sadie and the moment in the park when he’d felt himself losing control. He needed this group, and he needed to be active. “Yeah, I think I am.”
“Good. I’ll see you there. If you want to ride together, let me know. And, Ethan, if you want to talk one-on-one, we can make time for that, too.”
“Thanks.” Ethan was always amazed at how God worked in his life. First Paul and now Ron and the support group. The Lord always put people in his path to help him along the next step. What he couldn’t figure out was why Nicki and the baby were in his life. What possible good could come from having the constant reminder of his trauma in front of him every day? He was handling it so far, but he’d have to be vigilant. All he could do was walk by faith and not sight because seeing them every day would be like juggling a time bomb.
* * *
Ethan slid his arm into the sleeve of his plaid shirt, wincing when the muscles in his shoulders and back protested. He’d spent most of yesterday dismantling the old store shelves. He should have rested last night, but he was determined to finish the apartment before Sunday so he could get settled in. After a quick sandwich at the Magnolia Café, he’d spent the evening cleaning and making minor repairs on the plumbing and electric. It had been nearly one in the morning when he’d stopped, so he’d spent another night in his sleeping bag. Thankfully he’d packed a change of clothes and a few other necessities into the car, along with his well-traveled coffeemaker.
Walking into the bathroom, he leaned toward the mirror, gently removing the tiny piece of tissue he’d placed over the nick on his jaw he’d made while shaving. He should have left the stubble, but he’d decided to adopt a more professional appearance.
Be honest, Stone. He sighed and stared at his reflection. He wanted to look good for Nicki. Trouble was, he didn’t know why. Foster care had taught him early how to keep himself detached from his emotions and maintain a safe distance in his relationships. But it had cost him.
The one woman he’d loved had ended their engagement, calling him cold, empty and incapable of living a normal life. LeAnn had accused him of hiding behind his camera to avoid living in the real world. He’d been unable to disagree with her. He’d loved her, but he hadn’t known how to let her into his heart. He’d never cared for anyone since.
What would that woman say if she could see him now? The explosion and the horrific picture had changed him forever, and not only physically, with the scars on his face and arm. He’d awoken in the army hospital drowning in a flood of feelings he couldn’t control and had spent the past year learning to manage his emotions without shutting them down completely.
But Nicki was different. She was a fountain of emotion. She wore each one with ease, moving from happy to irritated to sad in an instant, leaving him to marvel at her adaptability. Watching her expressive face and gestures had become his favorite form of entertainment.
She was running from something. Sometimes he could see the longing to leave Dover in her eyes, and it left him with burrs in his heart. He wasn’t ready to see another person he cared for walk away.
Ethan glanced at his watch. He was anxious to get back to work on the fixtures. Weather permitting, he’d start painting the shelves today. Stepping to one of the two small windows in the back of the apartment, he looked down at the parking area just as Nicki’s car pulled into view. He watched as she removed the baby from the car seat, holding her tenderly and placing a kiss on her cheek. He smiled, realizing he was enjoying the sight of them together instead of bracing against a possible emotional attack.
Perhaps his exposure to the mother and child would be a good thing. He had to admit he looked forward to coming to work each day and he suspected the engaging Nicki was the reason.
* * *
Nicki made a sweep of the aisles, straightening up and checking for bins and shelves low on merchandise. The quiet gave her a moment to regroup and remember that she wasn’t truly alone in her situation. She had Sadie. Though she’d greatly underestimated the time and energy required to manage the store and care for a baby. She’d stolen a few minutes this morning for devotional time, reading her favorite verses, but they hadn’t provided the usual comfort. She’d blamed it on fatigue and being overwhelmed by problems at the store.
She’d been surprised to see Ethan’s car already parked behind the store when she arrived this morning. He’d appeared at the top of the back stairs and hurried down to help carry Sadie’s things inside. He’d explained that he’d worked on the apartment and had slept there last night.
Now he was eager to start rearranging the fixtures. His eagerness to work was admirable. Perhaps she should give him a key to the store. That way when he was ready to work, he wouldn’t have to wait for her to show up. Wouldn’t her mother love that idea? A stranger with access to the entire building.
Love Inspired November 2014 #2 Page 26