by Pam Godwin
Roark shifted at the edge of my periphery, sitting back on his heels. His hand found the juncture of my legs, his fingers slipping easily through my wet folds.
I ground against Roark’s hand, my mouth working harder, more frantically along the ridges of Jesse’s shaft. With my knee over his abs, I was spread wide open for their eyes. It would be so easy for Roark to pull his cock out, climb over me, and fuck me from behind while Jesse watched.
A gush of liquid heat saturated my cunt, soaking Roark’s fingers. I whimpered, frustrated, shaking with need.
“Jaysus, love.” Roark plunged a thumb inside me, his fingers rolling over my clit and teasing me open. “Ye like gagging on his cock, do ye?” A noise rumbled in his chest. “With me hand between your milky thighs?”
I made a wretched noise in my throat. More. Please. Please, fuck me.
Roark’s free hand gripped my thigh, wrenching it upward and opening me further as he fingered me toward another orgasm. “Look a’ her creaming all over us.” He lowered his voice, deep and gravelly, his accent thick with command. “Come in her mouth. Now.”
Jesse’s body turned to stone beneath me, and a hum ran beneath the hard surface of his muscles, vibrating, trembling. Suddenly, this fiercely-strong iron will of a man crumbled, his voice howling, his legs quaking, and his cock spurting, erupting, fucking shooting down my throat with so much force I choked on the insane amount of come he released.
I swallowed repeatedly, savoring the salty taste of him, and my heart soaring at the blissful, hooded look in his eyes. He regarded me with something like worship, and yes, love. I knew he loved me, but to see it shine so openly in his gaze snapped something in place behind my breast.
Roark’s hand tangled in my hair, but before he could drag me toward him, I spun, my hands cupping his whiskered jaw and my mouth falling over his waiting lips. I nuzzled and licked and sucked, our tongues sliding together with warmth and affection and delicious familiarity.
I trailed my fingers down his thick throat, over his wide shoulders, across the hard bricks of his pecs and the grooves of his abs.
Inching around his hips, I slipped beneath his boxers and gripped the hard muscles of his ass. “You’re a beautiful man, you know that?”
“Fecking apt.” He grinned. “Definitely more attractive than him.”
“Maybe.” Jesse lay on the floor beside us, sprawled like a lazy cat, his eyes half-mast. “But neither of us can compete with Doc’s trendy Abercrombie & Fitch boy looks.”
I snorted. It was kind of true.
Roark raised his eyebrows at me and passed Jesse a sideways look. “I can mess up his face when we find him.”
When we find him, not if. I appreciated the hopeful sentiment, at least, without the messing-up-his-face part. I also recognized the fact that I’d decided to go after Michio without consulting either of them. “You’re okay with that? Searching for Michio?”
“We go where you go,” Jesse said, his eyes feasting on my body as if he hadn’t just ejaculated enough sperm to repopulate the human race.
Roark dragged his boxers over his erection and shoved them to the floor where he knelt. He let me grip him, stroke him, and tug on his balls, the sac hot and heavy in my hand.
I faced him on my knees, the hard tiles grinding against bone, my head tilted back to gaze up at him. “So you and Jesse are buddies again?”
“We just had a talk, love.”
Talking with fists? And kisses? Because there hadn’t been many words exchanged. Men were so weird.
Jesse hadn’t moved, collapsed on his back, chest still heaving and eyes tracing my breasts, my hips, pausing on my wet and very much aroused pussy.
I slid my thumb over the wetness leaking from the tip of Roark’s cock. “How do you want me?”
Depending on how guilty he was feeling about his vow, he might not want me at all. Sometimes he just wanted to jack off while he watched me masturbate. Other times, he held me against a sturdy surface and dry humped my ass.
He put his hands on my shoulders, adding slight pressure to guide me lower, lower still, until my mouth was level with his cock. “Lick me with that brilliant tongue, love.”
My inner muscles clenched, shooting electric pulses through my body. I lowered to my hands and knees and greedily took him into my mouth. He groaned and pulsed against my lips, his hands pulling my hair as I brought him to the edge of climax and back, teasing and licking and sucking like my life depended on it.
I felt strong, powerful, despite the submissive position. I’d damned well earned an equal ranking among my guardians, and they knew it. Which made them not only value me in this position but also respect me, evidenced in the way Jesse reached up and lovingly traced the lines of my body. His touch made my pulse sing through my veins as my tongue worked Roark’s cock with maddening licks.
As Roark’s breathing quickened and his thighs flexed around me, I delighted in the way the tiles ground against my knees. The pain was worth it. Because I was the one rocking his fucking world.
Beside me, Jesse’s hand moved, lowering to his cock and squeezing.
Roark clenched his fingers in my hair, yanked me off of him, and used his grip to pull me up, dragging my mouth to his.
He teased his tongue around mine, hungrily, lovingly tasting me. I knew he wanted to fuck me. I heard it in the rush of his breaths and felt it in the hard jab of his arousal against my belly.
But he broke the kiss, panting heavily, and looked away. I followed his gaze down the length of Jesse’s body.
Jesse apparently had an impressive recovery rate, because he held a very hard erection in his fist, his fingers clenching like he was trying to strangle it.
I glanced at the tension straining his face and asked in dumb disbelief, “Again?”
He squeezed his eyes shut and said in a pained voice, “Again.”
I looked back at Roark, breathless, and maybe even a little worried that Jesse couldn’t be sated with a blow job.
With his hands on my hips, Roark spun me, pushed my head toward Jesse’s cock, and slapped my butt with a stinging swat. “I love to watch, Evie.”
As the sun rose higher behind the window, I knelt along the side of Jesse’s body, my pussy angled toward his head, and sucked him off for the second time that morning. My muscles burned with fatigue, my jaw ached from stretching, and my stomach grumbled with hunger. But I loved it. I loved hearing his tortured groans, seeing the sinews stretch in his neck, and feeling the tremors in his thighs beneath my hands.
Roark didn’t do much watching. With his grip on my waist and my ass hovering above Jesse’s face, my gorgeous priest licked and sucked at my pussy, flattening his tongue along the seam, biting my clit, and propelling me into a tunnel of blind need. I grew insane with it, moaning and grinding against his whiskers.
I was two seconds from telling him to piss on his goddamned vow and fuck me like a man, when Jesse did it for me.
“If you don’t fuck her—”
Roark was already there, his chest covering my back, his breaths hot against my nape, and his cock…
I cried out when he thrust, burying his steel length to the hilt. He grunted, his lips pressed to my spine and his hands palming my breasts.
OhmyGodOhmyGod. Roark was fucking me. It felt like an out-of-body experience, one that would crash and burn with resentment and guilt and prayers. Sweet pissing hell, would there be enough prayers to put him back together after this?
But I’d wanted it. Still did. He felt incredible, stretching and filling me in a way nothing else could. I clenched around him, and he shuddered against me, picking up speed.
Jesse grabbed my head and shoved his cock back in my mouth. From his vantage, with me on hands and knees beside him and facing his feet, he could watch Roark moving in and out of me, and holy shit, did Roark move.
He hammered his hips like a piston, his balls slapping my clit, and his weight on my back growing heavier and heavier until I wasn’t sure I could hold him much
longer.
My legs wobbled, my tongue rolled and licked, and my jaw extended with delicious pain as Jesse pumped his hips, fucking my mouth.
As they took me at both ends, their thrusts fell in sync, and it felt as if a string of nerve-endings ran through my body, vibrating between them, connecting them, and tying us together.
Roark’s hands moved all over me, caressing every dip and curve, covering my breasts, my waist, my thighs. His fingers sank between my legs, finding my clit, and circling. Right there… Right there…
I screamed around Jesse’s cock as I let go, allowing them to hear the orgasm rolling over me. Their hips jerked, both of them gasping and shaking, then they fell with me.
The hot stream of Jesse’s release hit my throat as Roark collapsed against my back, sucking in staggered breaths.
I wanted to stay lost in my fantasy, dancing and fucking in the realm of possibilities, but Roark’s weight pulled me back to the ground. Literally.
I crumbled beneath him, my cheek landing on Jesse’s thigh and Roark’s big body spooned around my back.
Jesse reached down and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I came so hard you’re probably pregnant.”
I grinned, tiredly. “That’s not even funny.”
As his breathing returned to normal, he seemed to be gathering his thoughts, his expression sobering. “I won’t apologize for earlier, but I owe you an explanation.”
I held his gaze, my face open, waiting.
He trailed his fingers over my arm, where it lay across his abs. “I let myself believe, for one rosy fucking moment, that I could have you. All of you. But once I tasted that belief, I didn’t want to give it up. I couldn’t.”
“Just promise me we’ll find another ultrasound on our way to find Michio.”
“Promise,” he mouthed, and my heart gave a thump.
Roark pressed a kiss to my spine, lingering there for a long moment. This was the dreaded part. How would he compartmentalize his broken vow? How much damage had I caused?
I rolled toward him, but he’d already pulled away, climbing to his feet, his face closed off, shadowed in conflict.
“Roark.” I stood and grabbed his hand. “Please don’t do this.”
His thumb caressed my knuckles, his gaze on the floor, looking for something. He narrowed his eyes on his boxers and released my hand to pull them on with shaking fingers.
Fuck.
He stepped over Jesse, who watched him with an unreadable expression, and removed his rosary from his pack in the tub.
Double fuck.
I knew he’d pull out his cassock next. With a tight chest and a resolved breath, I joined him, rooting through the packs to help him find it. Wait, where was it?
“Roark, don’t you have a spare cassock?”
“Tossed the last one out in the mountains.” He stared at his pack, and the lost look on his face broke my heart.
I pressed a fist against my mouth. Stupid selfish woman. I stood there, naked, with his come dripping down my thighs, and I couldn’t bring myself to regret a single second with him. He must hate me.
Golden dreadlocks and braids hung in his devastating eyes, his whiskered jaw taut with emotion. Maybe he wanted to say something to me? Maybe he wanted me to go the fuck away?
I reached up and untied the leather strap in his hair. He closed his eyes as I gathered all the twisted strands away from his face and retied them into a knot at the back of his head. Then I stepped back and let him do what he had to do.
He knelt in front of the door, in his boxers, rosary draped over his hands, and bowed his head.
I wrapped my arms around my waist, aching to hold him and feeling for all the world like an evil-doer, a temptress, like a slithering snake that had just shit in his well-kept garden.
“Evie.”
I turned toward Jesse’s voice.
He pulled the bedrolls from the tub, spread them over the floor, and sprawled on his back. “Come on.” He stretched out his arms, naked and waiting for me to climb into his embrace. “We haven’t slept in two days.”
“Almost three days.”
The sky blazed through the window, another day half gone. Maybe we could sleep until nightfall.
I dropped beside Jesse, snuggling against his side with my cheek on the hard expanse of his chest, and watched Roark. I stared at the knotted bun on the back of his head, the little blond curls on his nape, the flex of his shoulders, and the strong, straight line of his spine until my eyes grew too heavy to hold open.
Just as I began to drift into unconsciousness, Jesse’s whisper hummed through his chest. “Sex doesn’t have to be shameful, Roark. It doesn’t have to be sinful or controlled or feared. It can be something as honest and pure as love.”
I held my eyes closed, my ears ringing in the silence, waiting for Roark’s response.
When he spoke, his deep accent shivered through me. “I made a promise to God.”
“Then make a new promise, dickhead.” Jesse’s arm flexed around me. “He sent you something rare and beautiful, a goddess in her own right. The only vow that matters is the promise to love her.”
My pulse raced. I wanted to climb up Jesse’s chest and kiss him senseless, but I held still, feigning sleep.
“I do—” Roark lowered his voice to a whisper, “I do love her, ye arrogant fuck.”
“Bullshit,” Jesse hissed, his heart banging against my ear. “You drop to your knees and turn to God every time you touch her. How the fuck do you think that makes her feel?”
The floor groaned as Roark rose to his feet and took a step toward us. He stood above me. I could hear the steady pace of his breaths and feel his eyes tracing the lines of my back, and the curves of my arms and legs where they wrapped around Jesse.
The bedding rustled as he lowered behind me and scooted in. His chest slid against my back, his hand snaking quietly around my waist and following the path of my arm across Jesse’s stomach. He stopped at my fingers, flattening and straightening each of my digits with his closed fist.
There was something in his hand, and when he opened it, a string of beads cascaded into my waiting palm. My breath caught as he closed my fingers around the rosary.
I turned my head and searched the calm features of his face. “Roark?”
Leaning over me, he kissed my lips, rested his forehead against mine, and stared at me with bright, clear eyes. “I know ye were listening, and he’s right.” Another kiss, this one delivered with a soft smile. “Ye are the incarnation of love. The only vow that matters.”
I hoped we would sleep until nightfall, but instead we slept through it. I woke with the light of a new day glaring in my eyes and an impatient fist pounding on the bathroom door.
“Rise and shine, motherfuckers,” Link sang from the hall.
Jesse cracked an eye open, his hand curled around the crease between my thigh and ass. “You hungry?”
I lay half-on, half-off his chest, my leg hooked over his thigh and my cheek on his shoulder. My body felt lovingly-used, yet recuperated and quenched, despite the gnawing hunger in my stomach. “I could eat.”
“I’m fecking famished,” Roark mumbled against my spine. He uncurled his body from around my back and shouted at the door, “If ye didn’t bring us cheeseburgers, feck off!”
The doorknob rattled, and the wood frame groaned against the nails Jesse had hammered into it.
“Get your asses up,” Link shouted, but I heard the smile in his rumbling voice. “I’ve got thirteen women out here, asking a million fucking questions and giving me a goddamned headache.”
The doorknob stilled, and the scrape of his footsteps faded down the hall.
Grinning, I rolled to my back and stretched my arms and legs, the sunlight warm on my nude skin. “Did you hear that? The women are awake.”
“God help us.” Roark stood, retied his knot of dreadlocks, and slipped on a pair of cargo shorts over his boxers.
Standing there in the halo of the window, looking re
sted and as gorgeous as ever, did he remember what he’d said last night? Did he really intend to surrender his vow?
I picked up the rosary where it lay beside my hip and threaded the beads around my fingers. “I can’t accept this, Roark. I can’t ask you to give up your vow.”
Jesse sat up and bowed over my back, his lips resting at the juncture of my neck and shoulder. “That’s just it, darlin’. You didn’t ask him. You accepted him with or without his stuffy robes.”
Roark cast Jesse a narrowed glare and crouched before me, his fingers beneath my chin, lifting my face. His expression softened, content, maybe even relieved. “Ye didn’t ask me to give it up. Ye love me too much to ask that.”
I released a shuddering breath. “I do. I love you both.”
The risk in loving people I could lose combined with the gravity in admitting it out loud sank into my heart, pulling it down. But the strength in this moment—in their understanding smiles and mere presence—floated my heart right back up and held it firmly in place in my chest.
I leaned back against Jesse, my eyes on Roark, my fingers sliding over the rosary beads. “So you’re done with celibacy? Just like that?”
“Just like that.” Roark planted a kiss between my furrowed eyebrows.
With his face so close, I could smell myself on his whiskers, the tangy scent flooding me with images of his mouth between my legs.
But he’d clung to his vow for so long. Had he considered the ramifications? Turning away from his promise to God and running toward me, right foot, left foot, until the nights sprinted away beneath our blankets? Until he’d ran so far from his beliefs that the man who remained was no longer the bleeding heart I fell in love with? Until all that was left was a hollowed-out renegade consumed with angry regret?
“Sex has clouded your brain.” I rested my forehead against his. “Think about the reality of what you’re giving up.”
“I have. Every single day since I met ye.” His exhale caressed my lips. “God sent ye to me, not to make me choose ye or Him. He sent ye so I could love ye through Him.”