by Tia Siren
I nodded. “I agree.”
“I’m ready. Are you?”
“I am.”
She stuffed her clothes from yesterday in her bag and we headed out.
The first two hours of driving were passed in unbearable silence. It was brutal and horribly awkward.
“What are you going to do for work?” I asked, hoping to start a safe conversation.
“Freelance. I hope to retain some of the clients I had in New York. I don’t want to do a lot of traveling right now, so I’ll be limited, but freelance can be a pretty good gig,” she said, sounding enthusiastic.
“Really? I guess I always assumed freelance meant starving artist.”
She laughed. “No. Freelancing can be really good actually. The problem is the uncertainty. You can make a ton of money one month and then sell nothing the next. It’s how I started out. I learned really fast to stretch the dollar just in case I didn’t sell a picture or land a job the following month.”
I was intrigued.
“What kind of pictures do you take?” I asked.
She shrugged one of her dainty shoulders. “Whatever the client wants. I started out doing weddings and senior portraits. I won’t do those again. At least I hope I don’t have to. I eventually found commercial photography was where the money was at. A customer would send me a product, tell me what kind of idea they wanted to capture, and I would take it from there. Some clients were a little pickier, but most of the time it was up to me.”
“Wow,” I said, completely amazed that she had found a way to make money and be happy. I remembered her always walking around with a camera when we were younger, but I never imagined it would turn into a career—a lucrative career judging by the amount of money she had just dropped on the family farm.
“I’m going to see if I can sell some landscape pictures. I have one client that I think will be interested. I love the idea of taking pictures of nature, and there are so many places around where we live that are absolutely stunning. I will never run out of places to shoot,” she said with excitement.
I nodded my head. “Don’t let anyone know where the pictures are taken. I don’t want all our secret places getting out.” I winked.
She laughed. “Of course not. I’ll keep it generic.”
“How’s Jasper liking it so far?”
“He loves it! I’m excited for Jasper to go to a small school. I really think it will be good for him,” she said.
“You think? I would have thought a bigger school would have more opportunities.”
She sighed. “Maybe for high school students, but I always felt Jasper was kind of lost in the shuffle. I had him in a good school, but the class size was huge. I always felt like he was a little fish in a big sea. I want a teacher to recognize how smart he is and push him to do better. Plus, the city life is a lot different than the farm life. He’s used to playing in parks or playgrounds. I love that he can roam around the farm and explore in a more natural environment.”
I smiled. I loved knowing how smart my son was. I was downright giddy to take him to his first day of school. I could already feel my chest puffing up. I couldn’t wait to help him continue to grow. Ashley had gotten the kid off to a good start, but I wanted to help mold him, to teach him things and hopefully raise a young man we would both be proud of.
“I’m really glad he will get that chance, too. I think it is going to be good for all of us, but most importantly for Jasper. He has a lot of people that love him and will look out for him.”
She bestowed a warm smile on me. It was a smile that made me feel all tingly inside.
We stopped at a McDonald’s that was attached to a gas station and got some food and gassed up. Then we climbed back in the truck and headed home. When we pulled into town, it was close to eight. The sun was just starting to set.
“I’ll swing by my house so you can get your dad’s truck, and then we’ll head out to the farm,” I told her.
She yawned and covered her mouth. “Sounds good.”
“Ever wonder why driving is so exhausting?” I asked, thinking out loud.
She laughed. “It really is. I have done nothing but sit here, and I feel like I’ve been up for days.”
“You’ll sleep good tonight, and hopefully you can relax tomorrow.”
Ashley scoffed in feigned disgust. “The first thing you will learn about being a parent is there is no such thing as sleeping in, especially with your son.”
I fought back the urge to shout in glee. She had called him “my son” like we were regular parents. I was not known for sleeping in. I hated it. I had always been an early bird, and I loved that Jasper had inherited that characteristic.
“I’m sure your dad will be up early and can keep an eye on him.”
We pulled into my driveway, and she quickly jumped out and got into Tanner’s truck. I followed her out to the farm and backed up close to the porch to make unloading easier.
Jasper was on the porch and excited to see Ashley and his things. Tanner had come out and offered to help carry things in. At first Ashley refused to let him help, but she finally gave in. I knew Tanner needed to feel useful.
It took us another hour to unload the boxes and Jasper’s bed. I offered to come back the following day to set it up, but Tanner assured me he could do it. I relinquished the task, knowing I would need to buy and put together a bed for Jasper at my house—assuming I would get overnight visits.
Ashley walked me out. We stood on the front porch. The warm summer night took me back to the many nights we had sat out here as kids.
“Thank you,” she said in a voice laden with exhaustion.
“You’re welcome.”
We stood there listening to the crickets before I wrapped my arms around her. She sank into me and hugged me back.
“Get some sleep,” I told her.
“You, too. You did all the driving. Thank you again, Brock. You were a huge help.”
I nodded and headed down the steps and into my truck. I started it up and looked in my rearview mirror. She was still standing there. My breath caught as I drank in her beauty. She was hot, sweaty, and tired, but she was still the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
As I drove home, I thought about the past forty-eight hours. A trip that I had been convinced would be the last straw in our tenuous relationship had ended up being pleasant. I was happy to have her back. When I found out she was coming home to fight me on the land deal, I had been dreading seeing her. When she completely screwed me out of the deal, I had thought I was pissed. I had cursed her and wished she had never come back.
Now I wasn’t so sure. No, I was very sure. I wanted her here. I wanted her close. In my heart and mind, I felt a spark of hope. We had matured a lot, and I felt we had moved past all the baggage that had been following us for years. Was there a chance for us?
I knew there was. I could feel the change. Last night had been different. The drive home had been awkward at first, but once we’d started talking, it was like we had never split up. We definitely had chemistry between us, and now we shared a son. I felt we had a good foundation to build a relationship on.
Now I had to find out if she was willing to try. Stranger things had happened.
Chapter 23
Ashley
Moving was exhausting. I had spent all day yesterday cleaning up my old room and moving in. Jasper was taking Hank’s old room. I didn’t know why I had even worried for a minute about Jasper being upset by the move. He was loving the farm and didn’t seem the least bit upset about getting a new room and leaving our hold home behind. Kids were resilient. It was adults who struggled with change.
I would miss my loft and the city, but I knew this was the right place for us. It gave me a lot of comfort knowing I could keep an eye on my dad and make sure he got healthy again. This was my home now and I couldn’t dwell on what was. This was my future.
Walking into the kitchen to make coffee, I found my dad already sitting at the table. He was drinkin
g an herbal tea that his doctor recommended he drink instead of his usual coffee.
“Good morning,” I greeted. “Did you eat?”
“No. Not yet. I’m not hungry,” he replied.
“Dad, you need to eat some toast at least. I’ll make you some,” I told him, not wanting to lecture, but I was here to make sure he got through the last round of chemo. He was almost done. He had lost a great deal of weight, but I was convinced we could put the pounds back on him.
“Thank you,” he mumbled.
I popped some toast in the toaster, put the coffee on, and went to sit with him, “How are you feeling today?”
“Tired.”
It hurt to see him so weak. All I could do was think ahead to the time when he would be healthy again. He would beat this. I had researched the disease and was confident this was the worst of it. His doctors were giving him an aggressive treatment to be on the safe side, and as difficult as it was, I was okay with that.
I gave him his toast. “Eat now, Dad. I’ll get your vitamins, and then why don’t you relax out on the front porch?”
He smiled. “You’re going to be mothering me, aren’t you?”
I grinned. “Damn straight I am. We got this, Dad. I’m here. You tell me what you need and I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about a thing. I read that stress can make the side effects worse. You have nothing to worry about. The farm is taken care of. I’ll make sure there is food on the table, the house is clean, and everything else is fine. Rest and heal. That’s all you need to do.”
“Thank you. You’re a good daughter, Ashley.”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m your favorite.” I winked.
“I just wish you had more confidence,” he joked.
Chuckling, I popped in two more pieces of toast for myself.
“I’m going to pour Jasper a bowl of cereal and put some milk in a cup. If he wakes up before I get back, he can get his breakfast, okay? Don’t get up.”
He gave me an exasperated look. “I think I can handle pouring milk for the kid.”
“Yes, you can, but you don’t need to. Rest, Dad. I’m going to go check out the fields and see what we’ve got going on out there,” I told him, sitting down to pull on my shoes.
He grimaced. “I doubt it’s pretty. Let me know.”
“I will,” I lied.
There was no way I would tell him if it was bad. I didn’t want to add to his stress. The farm provided an income for him, but if this harvest didn’t do well, we would be fine. I would have extra money from the sale of the loft and would hopefully get some photography jobs. This harvest was not worth stressing about.
I poured my coffee in a travel cup and set out on my walk around the farm. I strolled through the rows of corn, inspecting an occasional ear here and there to make sure there wasn’t a pest infestation.
As I made my way to the rows of tomatoes, I inhaled deeply. I loved the smell of the tomato plants. It always made me crave spaghetti. The plants needed to be caged up. They were heavy with fruit and some of the vines were hanging low to the ground. I made a mental note to get out and do it tomorrow.
Next I inspected the rows of green beans and was happy to see they were in good shape. There were a ton of beans weighing down the bushy plants. They were ready to be harvested. It was a lot of beans. I wondered why my dad hadn’t had them picked yet. He had a crew that did the picking every year.
I spent nearly two hours walking through the fields, checking fence lines, and making mental lists of things that needed to get done. It was obvious the farm had been neglected for some time, and I wondered if my dad had given up. This used to be his passion, but I could see by looking around that he had stopped caring long before he’d been diagnosed with cancer.
When I got back to the house, Jasper and Dad were on the front porch sipping lemonade. Jasper was talking his grandpa’s ear off, and I bit back a laugh. So much for my dad getting rest.
“Jasper, can you go pick up the toys in the living room, please?”
“Okay,” he said, jumping off his chair and running inside.
“Sorry. I hoped he would go play and not bug you.”
“It’s fine. He was keeping me company. I’ve spent plenty of time not being bugged and I like having him around. Never apologize.”
I sat down in an Adirondack chair and leaned back, letting the warm breeze wash over me. It was a little too hot to be comfortable, but it felt good to be outside.
“How’s it look out there?” he asked, dread clear in his voice.
“Not bad. The beans are ready to be picked. Where are those guys that usually come out and help you harvest? They’re a little behind.”
He sighed. “They don’t come out anymore. I couldn’t pay them last year. I had hoped I would be able to this season, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. I think we can pick enough to preserve for the family and the rest will have to sit.”
“No! Dad! You mean you didn’t harvest last year?”
He shrugged. “I did what I could.”
That explained a lot of his financial troubles.
“What about Hank and his kids?”
He smiled. “Oh, they’re busy. They came over and got a couple pots full of beans and some corn and tomatoes, but Hank’s wife isn’t much of a farm girl. She prefers her veggies from the store.”
I rolled my eyes. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing.”
“I agree, but different strokes for different folks. I paid to get the planting done with the hope I could do the harvest myself, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen.”
“Dad, we’re here. I don’t care if I have to drag Jasper out there every morning at five; we’ll get the harvest done. I’m not about to let all that food go to waste. The vegetables are beautiful. They will fetch a good price at the farmer’s market.”
He laughed. “Oh goodness. I haven’t been out there in years.”
“Dad!” I said in shock. “How have you been supporting the farm?”
He shrugged. This explained why he had no savings to speak of. He had been using it to get by. I bit back the need to lecture him. I had already done enough of that. No use rehashing the same conversation. It was done and in the past.
The situation was far worse than I had thought, and it was going to take a little longer to get him back on his feet. I was going to have a busy summer. I doubted I would have any time to take pictures. It had been a long time since I had done the farming thing, but I could do it. I would need a little help, though.
“Rest. I’m going to check on Jasper, and then I have a few calls to make,” I told him, patting his knee before I walked into the house.
The first order of business was calling Dad’s old friend Bill to see if he could put me in touch with any pickers. Hopefully it wasn’t too late in the season. I was sure the other farms around the area were already in full swing and had hired all the available help.
I left several messages with temp agencies and then started my list of things that needed to get done around the farm. It was rather extensive, but not everything needed to happen today. It would be a slow process, but I would get this place turned around and restored to its former glory. I loved a good project.
The rest of the day was spent organizing the kitchen, adding my dishes and appliances in place of some of Dad’s older stuff. After making dinner and getting Jasper off to bed, I checked on Dad. He was already in bed, snoring away.
After pouring myself a glass of wine, I headed out to the porch for a little quiet time. I sat down on the swing and gently swayed back and forth. It always amazed me how dark it was out at the farm. After living in the city for so long, I’d forgotten what it looked like. There was always a glow in the city, but here the only glow was from the stars above.
It was a clear night, which brought out all the nocturnal creatures. I could hear crickets chirping and the gentle “who-o-o, who-o-o” of an owl in the distance. I rocked back and forth, enjoying the break from
the heat. The sprinklers were running, creating white noise in the background. I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of wet soil. I could faintly smell the tomatoes as well when the breeze blew just right.
I remembered spending many nights out on the porch in this very swing. Most of those nights had been spent with Brock. We would sit and talk for hours about our future and make grand plans for what we would do. Those were good times.
Sipping my wine, I started making new plans. This was a fresh start for me, even if there was a little baggage. Things were different, but I felt like they were different in a good way. Dad would get better and with me here to take care of him. I could make sure he stayed healthy. I wanted to see him out there on his tractor, tilling the fields in the fall.
The thought made me smile. This was the first time in a long time that I felt content and like I was exactly where I should be. While I was in the city, I’d always wondered what was going on back home. Despite getting away and finding the adventure I had longed for, I’d always felt restless, like something wasn’t quite right.
As I sat there looking out over the corn quietly swaying under the moonlight, that feeling of restlessness was gone. I was home and I didn’t want to leave. Years ago, that realization would have scared the hell out of me. Today, it gave me a sense of peace and calm. I was finally settled.
Chapter 24
Brock
I could really get used to having Anna around. She was timely, organized, and efficient, and even though her attitude was a little irritating at times, she was making a better secretary than I had expected. No one could replace Helen, of course—we’d worked together too many years—but Anna was doing a passable job.
“There have been a few calls this morning. I left the messages on your desk,” she said, not looking away from her computer screen.
I chuckled when I glanced at it. She was browsing for baby gear. I guessed I couldn’t really complain that she was doing it on my dime. The office was tidy and the phone wasn’t ringing. At least she wasn’t filing her nails, and if anyone walked in the door, they would assume she was busy considering the intense way she was staring at the screen.