by Dilly Court
‘Come and see us again when you get time off,’ Cassy said as she saw her to the door. ‘I have so much I want to tell you.’
‘I guessed as much, Cass. We never had any secrets from each other, and I can see that you aren’t happy.’ She glanced at the ring on Cassy’s finger. ‘That’s a splendid gem, but I don’t think that ruby-red is your colour.’
Glancing nervously over her shoulder to see if Ollie was listening, Cassy was relieved to see that he was in conversation with Jack. She grasped Lottie’s hand. ‘I’m in such turmoil. I need to talk to you.’
‘I’m off duty tomorrow evening,’ Lottie said in a low voice. ‘Shall I come to your house?’
‘No, I’ll come to you. It would be impossible to talk at home.’
Next evening, Cassy found it surprisingly easy to slip away after dinner. Oliver had retired early, having drunk rather too much claret during the meal and had been wheeled away by Maitland, a quiet, dependable manservant who had been taken on to attend to his personal needs. Cassy finished her dessert in silence while her mother and father made plans for an outing to one of the new department stores in order to choose furniture for the nursery. They barely noticed when Cassy made her excuses to leave the table, and she left them discussing when they ought to advertise for a nanny and a nursery maid. She had secreted her bonnet and cloak in the morning parlour, and she waited there until the carriage was brought round to the front entrance.
Feeling like a prisoner escaping from jail, Cassy slipped out of the house and climbed into the barouche. It was raining. The cobblestones glistened in the gaslight and the muddy water made gushing noises as it ran in rivulets along the gutters to create eddies as it was sucked into the drains. It was cold, and Cassy was shivering by the time she arrived in Spectacle Alley. She told the coachman to return in an hour, and wrapping her cloak tightly against the wind and rain she hurried down the narrow street to hammer on the shop door.
Lottie let her in. ‘Good heavens, what a night. Come into the parlour and sit by the fire. Pa sends his apologies but he’s got one of his bad chests and he’s gone to bed.’ She led the way through the dark shop, where the manikins lurked like headless giants in the shadows. When she was a child they had scared Cassy, but she had grown out of such youthful fancies now. Taking off her bonnet and cloak she laid them neatly on a chair.
Lottie went to sit by the fire, motioning Cassy to take a seat opposite her. ‘Now then, tell me everything. I could see that there was something terribly wrong. What is it, Cassy?’
It was a relief to pour out her troubles to sympathetic ears. Lottie listened without making any comment until Cassy finished speaking. ‘I am so sorry. It is a bit of a pickle, so what will you do?’
‘What can I do? I’ve promised to marry him, and I don’t want to hurt him. I do love him, but not in the way he wants. It’s Bailey and it was always him, even though I didn’t realise it until too late.’
‘But Cass, you mustn’t marry a man you don’t love. It will go wrong eventually and then you’ll both be unhappy.’
‘He’ll never know. I mean to make him a good wife, but I just had to tell somebody and who else but my best friend?’
Lottie was silent for a moment, staring into the fire with a thoughtful look on her face. When she raised her head, her expression was serious. ‘I wish I had some good advice to give you, but this is something you must work out for yourself, Cassy. I know that your motives are based on loyalty and gratitude, but don’t you think Ollie deserves more than that?’
‘He trusts me, and I can’t let him down.’ Cassy reached out to grasp Lottie’s hands. ‘You’ve seen the delicate state he’s in, and you’re a doctor, or soon will be. I want you to promise me that you’ll do everything you can to make him well again. He’s always been fond of you, Lottie. If anyone can help him, it’s you.’
‘I don’t know about that, Cass. I’ll do everything I can, of course, but . . .’
‘If Ollie could walk again I might be able to tell him how I really feel, but until then I have to keep my promise, to him and to Bailey.’
‘And if he never walks again?’
‘I’ll stand by him, no matter what.’
Cassy returned home feeling relieved to have shared her problem with Lottie, but nagging doubts about the future kept her awake into the small hours. They were not eased when, next morning, Flora arrived at the house in Lemon’s Terrace dressed in furs and looking every inch the squire’s wife. Cade had accompanied Oliver to the hospital for his appointment with yet another consultant and it was left to Belinda and Cassy to entertain their guest.
‘Well, you’re a pretty pair,’ Flora said, taking a seat close to the fire in the blue and gold drawing room. ‘Having a baby at your age, Belle. What were you and Cade thinking of?’ She chuckled. ‘No, I’ll rephrase that question. What on earth were you and Cade thinking of?’
Belinda smiled serenely. ‘I can assure you that we’re both delighted at the prospect of being parents, and I’m only just thirty-five, Flora.’
‘You do look well, I have to admit that.’ Flora turned to Cassy with a questioning look. ‘And you, miss? I hear that you’re engaged to Oliver. What’s that all about?’
‘Just that, Aunt Flora. We’re going to get married.’
‘You’re taking on a cripple? I’ve been married five times, and even I would think twice before landing myself with a husband who couldn’t walk up the aisle. And this is my nephew we’re talking about. Even if Ollie was hale and hearty I wouldn’t think it a good match for either of you.’
‘Flora, is this really necessary?’ Belinda cast an anxious glance at Cassy. ‘You don’t have to listen to this kind of talk, my love.’
‘Ho, you’ve become very bold,’ Flora said, curling her lip. ‘I remember the time when you wouldn’t say boo to a goose, Belinda. I see that marriage to that renegade has made you into a different woman.’
‘And one I’m proud to be. No disrespect to poor Geoffrey, who was a good husband, but my true love was always George. I only wish we’d been able to share the joy of bringing up our daughter.’ Belinda gave Cassy a rueful smile. ‘I regret those wasted years.’
‘Yes, well, Geoffrey was a dry old stick, as I’ve said many a time before, and you’re old enough to know your own mind.’ Flora turned her fierce gaze on Cassy. ‘But I’m not sure that you do, miss. Heaven knows I love my nephew, but I don’t think you two are suited. Oliver may think that you are all sweetness, but I’ve seen a core of steel inside you, Cassy. He may imagine that he can rule you, but I have my doubts. Unless you love him with all your heart, I’d say stop this charade now. Never mind breaking his heart, it will mend. Better to do it before you’re married than afterwards. I speak from experience, my dear.’
Cassy bowed her head. She could not meet Flora’s knowing gaze. It was as though she saw deep into her soul, and had guessed her guilty secret.
‘And how is Mr Mullins?’ Belinda said sweetly. ‘Are you enjoying life on the farm, Flora?’
‘As a matter of fact I’m in my element. I’ve discovered that he owns land and cottages that bring in rents, when he can be bothered to collect them, as well as the income from dairy farming. I’ve taken over the business side completely now, and next year I hope to make a substantial profit. To think that all those years I was dependent on my husbands for money, and all the while I’ve had a perfectly good brain which could have been put to better use than organising parties and making the odd pound or two for charity.’
‘You make it all sound so easy,’ Belinda said mildly.
Flora pointed a bony finger at Cassy. ‘Use your head, girl. I hear you’re starting up a shop for the soldiers to sell their handwork, which is splendid news. One day women will earn the right not only to vote but to equal men in the business world. Don’t waste your talents on having a baby every year, Cassy. Go out there and fight for women’s rights.’
The winter months flew past for Cassy. Setting her own problems
aside, she threw herself into organising the day to day running of the shop, although her main aim was for the men to take it over themselves. Business was slow at first but Cade encouraged his friends and acquaintances to visit the premises, and gradually word spread that there were bargains to be had, and works of art to collect which might one day prove to be a good investment. Jack had plenty of ideas for expanding their business by employing one of the men who had been a cobbler by trade. He had lost the use of his legs, but he was more than happy to have his workbench set up close to the window so that passers-by could see him mending boots and shoes. This brought in customers who would never normally have gone into premises such as theirs. Jack also put forward the suggestion that they rent the shop next door where they would sell bread and cakes cooked in the home kitchen. Cassy could envisage the whole row of shops taken over by the ex-soldiers utilising their varied talents and former trades.
As the cold weather was eased away by an early spring, Belinda gave birth to a son. Both mother and baby were doing well and Cade handed out cigars by the boxful. Cassy was delighted with her baby brother, who was to be named George, after his father, and Hubert, after the grandfather Cassy had never known.
Slowly over the months, Oliver’s condition had begun to improve. The feeling had come back to his lower limbs and the doctors were now hopeful of a good, if not complete, recovery. Lottie was tireless in her efforts to find new treatments that helped him regain the strength in his wasted muscles, and she was convinced that he would walk again. But Cassy watched his progress with a mixture of hope and trepidation. When he had begun to show signs of recovery, Oliver had decided that they would wait until he could walk down the aisle unaided before they took their wedding vows. She had been glad of the reprieve, but she realised that the time was coming when she must make the final decision that had the power to change the course of both their lives forever.
Baby George’s christening was set for a week after Easter Sunday. The guest list was so long that it seemed Cade had invited everyone he had ever known. Dressed in a new gown of pale pink mousseline, Cassy was adjusting her bonnet in the mirror above the mantelshelf in the drawing room when the door opened and Oliver hobbled in with the aid of crutches. She turned to him with a genuine smile of pleasure. ‘Ollie, how splendid to see you walking, but are you sure you won’t overtire yourself?’
He made his way to the nearest chair and eased himself into it. ‘I’m not going to be wheeled into my stepbrother’s christening,’ he said, grinning. ‘Even if young George isn’t my stepbrother now that Belle has remarried, that’s how I’ll always think of him.’
‘I suppose that means I’m still your stepsister, or half-stepsister.’ She turned to him, biting her lip. ‘I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be flippant.’
‘Cassy, there’s something I must tell you. I don’t know how to begin. It makes me sound like a complete cad.’
‘What is it, Ollie? Tell me.’
‘I – I can’t marry you, Cassy.’ His expression was one of anguish as he raised his eyes to meet her gaze. ‘I should have told you sooner, but I wasn’t certain. It came upon us gradually without either of us realising what was happening.’
The truth hit her like a bolt of lightning. ‘It’s Lottie, isn’t it? You’re in love with her. I should have guessed.’
‘I hate myself for doing this to you. I’ll always love you, but . . .’
She bowed her head, and her shoulders shook.
‘Don’t cry, Cassy. You’ll break my heart if you cry.’
She could no longer control the bubble of laughter that had welled up inside her. ‘I’m not crying, darling Ollie. I’m happy for you and for Lottie. You couldn’t find a lovelier girl or a better wife. She’ll make you far happier than I ever could.’
‘I – I don’t understand. I thought you’d take it badly.’
‘I love you as a brother, Ollie. I couldn’t tell you before when you were in such a bad way, but my heart belongs to Bailey. It always has and it always will.’
‘Damn me! And yet you were going to marry me? I say, that’s not on.’
‘And you’ve been spooning with my best friend, so don’t play the martyr, Oliver Davenport.’ She bent down to kiss him on the forehead. ‘We’ve both been deluding ourselves, but now everything is going to be all right.’
He blinked, staring at her as if she had gone mad. ‘You’re not angry with me?’
‘Of course not, silly. I wish you and Lottie every happiness, but now I’ve something I must do. I have to speak to my pa.’
Feeling as though she was walking on air, free at last to follow her heart, she found Cade in the billiard room, smoking a cigar and pacing the floor. He turned with a start as she burst into the room. ‘Good grief, what’s the matter? Is something wrong with the baby or your mother?’
‘Nothing is wrong, Pa. But I’m in desperate need of your help.’
‘What is it, my darling? You know I’ll do anything for you.’
A week later, standing on the dockside, Cassy shielded her eyes from the sun as she watched the gangway being set in place to allow the passengers to board HMS Serapis, a troopship bound for Bombay.
‘Are you certain you’re doing the right thing?’ Belinda asked anxiously. ‘You can change your mind, darling. It’s not too late.’
‘Let her alone, Belle,’ Cade said gently. ‘Cassy is a woman now. She knows her own heart and mind.’
‘I do, Ma,’ Cassy said with a watery smile. ‘I’ll write to you every day while I’m on board, and Mrs Masters will keep an eye on me.’
‘It’s just fortunate that the Colonel and his wife were at the christening.’ Cade slipped his arm around Cassy’s shoulders. ‘When you told me that it was over between you and Oliver, I couldn’t help being glad. He’s a fine fellow and I like him well enough, but I’ve always thought that he wasn’t for you, my love. Bailey is a good man, and I trust him to look after my girl.’
‘But you’ll be leading a very different life, Cassy.’ Belinda hugged the baby closer to her as if she were afraid that someone might separate her once again from a beloved child. ‘It’s not easy being a soldier’s wife.’
‘You were a soldier’s daughter, Ma. I am too, even though I wasn’t brought up in the army. I want to share my life with Bailey, and I don’t care whether we’re living in Duke Street or Deolali. Anyway, I have plans for our future together.’
‘I’m sure you have,’ Cade said, smiling. ‘Would it have anything to do with the children’s home that you told me about on our long train journeys across India?’
She nodded emphatically. ‘It’s what Bailey and I always wanted, Pa. As soon as he’s able to leave the army, I’m going to look for suitable premises in the East End. We’ll set up a home for unwanted babies and infants where they’ll be brought up with love and grow up to be decent citizens, able to earn their own living.’
Taking her in his arms, Cade gave her a hug. ‘I’ll do everything I can to help financially. I’m proud of you, Cassy.’
‘And I am too,’ Belinda said hastily. ‘But are you certain that Bailey knows you’re coming, my love? It’s all been arranged with such haste.’
‘Colonel Masters has everything in hand, darling.’ Cade took George from her, cradling the baby in his arms. ‘Give our daughter a kiss and wish her bon voyage. I can see Mrs Masters waving to Cassy from the deck. We’ll be waiting to welcome you and your husband when you return, my darling daughter.’
‘Thank you, Pa,’ Cassy whispered. ‘I love you, you know that.’
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Belinda kissed Cassy on both cheeks. ‘Goodbye, my dearest. Come home safely, and soon.’
‘Be happy for me, Ma.’ Choking back tears, Cassy picked up her small valise and made her way to the gangplank. She hesitated, turning to wave to her parents and her baby brother, before taking the first steps that would lead her back to India and the man she loved with every fibre of her being.
Clutched in h
er hand was the telegram from Bailey. His answer was short and sweet. Come to me, my love.
Table of Contents
Cover
Also by Dilly Court
A mother’s Secret
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter One: Cripplegate, London, 1863
Chapter Two: Cripplegate, London, December 1872
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter Twenty-four