“You better watch your back, white boy!” he warns, spitting blood next to me. Held back, I spit a mouthful of blood and twist my lip enough to let him know I’m not worried, and then we are both dragged in different directions.
I don’t know where he was taken, but I’m sitting in the infirmary with the biggest headache I’ve ever had in my entire life. “He didn’t start it.” I hear in the distance. I feel like throwing up.
“I need to throw up,” I say in confusion. I lean over and vomit everywhere.
“He has a concussion,” a woman’s voice calls out. I sit up and wipe my mouth with my hand. “Pinch the bridge of your nose while I check the cut on your face,” the nurse says, walking toward me. Her voice is friendly. “Are you going to throw up again?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Let me get your nose to stop bleeding, and then you can lie down.”
“Do I need stiches?” I ask, looking down at my shaking hands. She wipes a peroxide-filled cotton ball over the cut on my face. “Shit, that burns.”
“No, you won’t need stitches. It’s a bleeder, but not that deep. You’re lucky. That could have really been bad.” She smiles. “Your lip isn’t that bad either.”
“I’m really dizzy.” I lean over, and she grabs a trashcan while I throw up again.
“You must have been going on pure adrenaline out there. Let me check your nose.”
I put my hands on my lap. There is blood all over them, reminding me of the night that landed me here.
“He’s hurt… Please, wipe his face… He’s hurt.” Shay’s voice haunts me. If she saw what just happened, she would be destroyed all over again. Anxiety hits me like a freight train. How the hell am I going to hide this from her when she comes to visit me? I haven’t even seen my face yet, and I can already tell it’s bad.
“Well, you didn’t break your nose, but you’re going to have one hell of a swollen face for a bit,” the nurse says. I clench my jaw. My head is pounding so hard I can’t even focus on what she’s telling me. “Lie down. You have a concussion.” I do what she instructs. My eyes start to close. “You can’t close your eyes right now with a concussion. It will be a while before you can sleep.” Trying to keep me awake, she starts a conversation. “I’m sure you have a girlfriend that likes to look at your face. She might get a bit upset seeing it like this.” I glance up at her. She’s got to be in her late sixties, so I’m sure it’s not a big deal for her to talk like that to inmates.
“No, she’s not going to be happy at all.” I pause. “She kind of likes my face,” I say through the pain.
“Here, put this on your nose.” She hands me an ice pack. “This is all I can really do for you.”
“Thank you.”
She leaves the room, and I’m left with the vision of Shay when she sees me. I can’t let her come here anymore, not since I got into a fight with the guy that blonde comes every week to see. I can’t risk that girl saying something to Shay or confronting her.
With my head pounding and my heart breaking, I know what I have to do. I have to protect her from this.
I WON’T LET YOU DOWN
GRABBING TACO TUESDAY dinnerware from the cabinet, I take a deep breath and turn to my parents who are setting the table. “So, I was thinking that maybe I could move into the condo.” Mom sets a bowl of guacamole onto the table and looks over at me while Dad crosses his food-free arms.
“Why do you want to do that?” she asks. I take my eyes off my constant provider and look at the nurturer.
“Jules lives in San Francisco most days during the week…”
“That’s because she went off to school,” intimidation tells me. Don’t get me wrong. My dad is the most loving man in the world, but when he has his game face on, everyone pays attention.
“I understand that, Dad, but we’ve had many talks that college might not be my route.”
“And you still have done nothing about your future route.”
“That’s because my future is in prison!” I yell in frustration. Okay, get a grip, Shay. That’s not the tone that’s going to get me a welcome mat. “I’m sorry, Dad. This hasn’t been easy on me.”
“We know it hasn’t. We’ve seen you wallow in your misery for months.”
“I know I haven’t been the easiest person to live with, and that’s why I think moving into the condo and getting some independence might be exactly what I need to get back into writing music.”
“You’ve written plenty of songs over the years that you’ve done nothing with,” he says.
“Those are personal songs I’ve written about Jace and me.”
“Steven,” Mom says.
“I’m not saying she needs to record those songs, Melody,” he says to her, bringing his eyes back to mine. “I’ve always told you I will support what you’re passionate about, and music has been your thing since you were little. I’ve been patient because Jace means something to all of us, and what he’s going through isn’t easy for your mom and me either. I know you love him, and I know he really loves you. I support you two, but the fact is, Jace can’t do anything for a future with you until he gets out of prison. So, if you’re serious about working on music and ready to think about the future you can build, then I will let you move into the condo.”
“Steven, we haven’t even discussed this,” Mom says with tears building in her eyes.
“They can’t live with us forever.” He walks over to her, putting his arm over her shoulder and bringing her in for a kiss. “You survived Beau leaving the nest. You’ll survive Shay leaving, too.”
I bite my lip with a smile. “I will get a job and pay for my own food and whatever bills I can.”
“Where will you get a job?” Mom inquires.
“I can see if the café down the street from the condo is hiring, or maybe I could teach guitar lessons. I taught Jace to play, and he picked it right up. I know I can teach guitar.”
My dad rubs his jaw. “I think that’s a great idea. You’ve been playing since you were ten, and you are really good. You could teach lessons down at Stark Records. And when you’re ready, you can work on your own music. But, teaching guitar is a great start to working toward a future goal. ”
“Mom?”
“Are you sure, Shay?” she says. I nod. “Then after we eat, we can go get some boxes and you can fly away.” I run over and hug them. Mom whispers against my hair, “I know you miss Jace, and I just want you to find something to look forward to right now.”
“I promise, I won’t let you down,” I tell her, feeling a small bit of happiness knowing I’m going to start making my boy a home. At the same moment, the phone rings, surprising us.
“There’s only one person that calls the house phone,” my dad says.
“Jace already called me earlier today before I sat by the pool,” I tell him. He walks over and picks up the phone.
“Yes, I will accept it,” he says. I walk over to the phone, and Dad puts his hand up for me to wait. “How are you doing, son?”
ONE STUPID MISTAKE
“I’M DOING ALL RIGHT, Mr. Stark,” I answer, closing my eyes. The phone was free, and I haven’t been able to relax at all since I hung up the phone earlier with Shay, and now, I need to hear her voice so badly. I’m really struggling, feeling like absolute shit. I just need her.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he says with concern in his voice. It’s not the first time I’ve spoken to him. He’s been around when Shay gets to the phone, and he always likes to let me know he’s thinking about me. There’s no point to tell him how I’m really feeling. “Melody sends her love, and Shay is trying to take the phone out of my hands so I’m going to put her on. Take care, son. If you need anything, you let Shay know.”
“I will, and tell Mrs. Stark hello, please.”
“Will do.”
“Hi, babe,” Shay greets me with love.
“Hey, did my favorite body get kissed by the sun earlier?”
“Maybe a little bit,”
a hint of sassiness I fell in love with says. “Is everything okay?” Her voice is laced with unease. She’s surprised I called. Usually, I can get in one call a day, but never twice in one day. I’ve pretty much been pacing the floors since I hung up with her earlier.
I have a massive headache. The nurse said it’s pretty normal to experience them for a while after a concussion, but I’m probably making it worse with how much I’m worrying over Shay seeing me all messed up.
“I just need to hear your voice.”
“Well then, I’m going to give you your favorite happy voice. Guess what?”
“Tell me.”
She giggles into the phone. It’s not often my girl sounds happy these days, and her happy voice is perfection.
“I’m moving into the condo,” she says, taking my voice down to a worrisome tone. My head starts pounding harder, and I rub my temple with my free hand.
“By yourself?”
“Yes, by myself, silly.”
“I thought maybe Jules would move in with you.”
“I’m kind of holding off for a certain roomie,” she teases.
“I don’t like the idea of you being by yourself at night.”
“Jace, I’ll be fine.”
“Stay at your parents’ until I get out. I already worry about you.”
“You know it’s not far from my parents’ house, and that was our plan before this nightmare. I want to be there already, so when you get out we have a place together. Please support me doing this. I’m going to start working at the studio teaching guitar, earning my own money. I hate not being with you, and it will keep me busy. I can work on writing songs and making a home for us. I want you to get out and come home to me, to our own place.”
I hate that I feel insecure, and I just made Shay’s happiness turn to sadness all because I had to screw everything up for her. We should already be living together, making music, and she should be planning our wedding. She’s had all her dreams shattered by one stupid mistake I made, and now everything we wanted is on hold because of me.
“If you really want to move into the condo, and your dad feels good about it, then go get that place I asked you to marry me in ready for us to start that fairy tale I promised you. Plus, you’re the best guitar teacher. You taught me how to strum a song, so I know you’ll be really good at that.”
“You know you could, too. We could be elite guitar teachers who write music for artists and lie on the beach all day.”
“You’re right. That sounds perfect.” I smile into the phone, because it does sound perfect, and I’m going to make everything she wants happen for us.
“Yay!” she says, bringing just a hint of happiness back.
“When are you moving in?”
“We just finished dinner, and my mom and I are going to get boxes and start moving things over tonight.”
Seriously, she’s moving in tonight? Now my head is really pounding. I can’t let her come see me tomorrow. She can’t see me looking like this.
“Shay?” I take a deep breath.
“Jace, you really sound like you don’t feel well.”
“You’re going to be busy moving into the condo, and maybe I’m getting a cold. I’m really tired, so I don’t want to get you sick. How about you wait a few more days to see me? While you work on the condo, I’ll get to feeling better.” I want time to let my face heal.
“No, I don’t want to miss a day with you. I don’t care if you get me sick, and the condo can wait. I’m coming tomorrow.”
“Baby.”
“Jace?” She starts to cry. Shit…shit…shit. “Do you not want me to come visit you?”
“Of course, I do, pretty girl. I can’t stand to be away from you.”
“Then don’t ever say that again. I’m coming.”
With my head pounding and my soul begging to hold on to my mate, I can’t do it—I have to see her. I hate to hear her cry, and no matter what, I need to breathe her in one more time even if it means she has to see me like this. I can’t let her feel this way, and maybe the only way she will understand why I’m going to do what I’m going to do is to see why.
“After I earn a paycheck, I’ll see about getting a house line put in so you can call me at the condo, but until then, I will always make sure I’m at my parents’ when we schedule a time for you to call me.”
“Don’t worry about that right now. We’re going to see each other tomorrow, and I will always make sure we talk.” I take my mouth away from the phone and sigh deeply. I hate that she’s worrying about having money to put a phone in just because I have to call her collect. I should be out working on bikes on the side while we make music, and if she thinks I can teach guitar, I will teach kids from sun up until sun down so I can support my girl.
I never thought about all the different aspects of the music business. She is so right. Shay taught me how to play, and I can see us teaching guitar to kids half of our day together and getting wet in the sand the rest of the day. I will do whatever it takes to provide for her, and maybe I can’t give her the life her dad has afforded her, but I will always do my best to give her the absolute best I can. I will love her hard through it all.
“I love you.” Her voice softens. “I’m going to make everything perfect for when we are finally together where we belong.”
“I know you will. I’m glad you’re excited about it. Just promise me you will have your door locked even during the day.”
“I will, worried boy.”
“You’re my girl, Shay. I want you to be safe.”
“I will be.”
“I’ve got to get off the phone. I love you endlessly. Just the thought of you in that bed we made love in is going to drive me crazy.”
“I won’t sleep in that one until we’re together again.”
“You’re so sweet. I love you so much,” I tell her.
“More than anything.”
“Shay?” I whisper.
“Yeah?”
“I just want you to know that when we were kids, every second away from you was torture. My happiness has always been when I’m with you, and I don’t ever want to be away from you. Please, always lock the door at the condo.”
“I promise I will. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“Got to go, pretty girl.”
She tells me she loves me, and I hang up the phone.
Just great! I’m so completely fucked right now! There is definitely no way in hell I’m letting her come back here after our next visit. She’s going to be living by herself. I don’t want that other girl to ever see Shay again.
I walk back to my cell. My head hurts like hell, and now Shay’s going to move out of her parents’ house. Fuck!
I look like absolute shit, and I don’t want her to have any contact with that girl, especially now that I’ve had a physical fight with her boyfriend. If something happened to Shay because of me, I couldn’t live with it. I promised her nothing would happen to me in here, and now I’ve broken that promise. Dammit! I can’t hide this kind of trouble, and when she sees it, she’s going to be so fucking heartbroken.
FABULOUS CITY DIGS
JULES STARES AT ME wide-eyed when I open the door to the condo. “I thought you were kidding when you told me you were moving in here,” she says, rushing through the front door. “I mean, we were just lying out by your parents’ pool yesterday, hanging out in your room, and you’re like totally living in the condo the next day. Pretty damn cool, Starkie.” She sets her handbag onto the table my mom brought over from the kitchen that was taking up space. It fits perfectly in the entry.
“I haven’t seen it since your mom did the renovations. I love the open beam ceilings. The light wood against the white walls looks very modern, and the décor looks super beachy. It’s like the perfect balance between city and sand life. Oh my God, I need to start a city and sand collection once I start my designs.” Her loud voice is bouncing off the open space. “I can’t believe your parents let you move into thei
r fabulous city digs…especially right now with everything you’ve been going through with Jace.”
“I think that’s why they said yes so easily. I told them I wanted to start working on my music and become more independent.”
“Nice, Shay,” she says with a puckered mouth.
“What?”
“You should be an actress.”
“I’m being truthful, Jules.”
“I’m going to start teaching guitar lesson at Stark Records.”
“Really?” I nod my head. “That’s a great way to work with some amazing artists and get your feet wet with your own music.” She looks around at the boxes I have stacked everywhere. “Does Jace know you moved in here yet?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“He wasn’t too thrilled, but by the end of our conversation, he seemed okay.”
“Look out. Here comes the pop star,” she says, falling onto the plush cashmere couch.
“God, I love this place. It’s so fabulous.”
“I’m not going to be a pop star, Jules. I’m going to teach guitar.”
“Yes, you are,” she says, pulling a photo-filled blanket of Jace and me over her.
“This blanket is kind of creepy.”
“No, it’s not. It’s adorable.”
“Yes, it is. Jace’s face is on my crotch right now.” She stares down at it and makes a cringe-worthy face. I shake my head and move the blanket so my face is over her crotch.
“Is that better?”
“Yes, I’ve always wondered what it would be like with your face between my legs.” She moves around under the blanket, pushing her crotch up into my crinkled face.
“So nice. I knew you’d be soft and warm.” I throw a big fluffy pillow in her face. “I’m just kidding, Starkie.” She laughs. “I swear I crack myself up.”
“Yeah, you’re a bundle of laughs.”
“I met this really hot guy in San Francisco.” She gets serious.
“Where?”
“It was at a fashion show they held at a restaurant. Kind of one of those mini industry parties for up-and-comers. He was one of the models.”
Questionable Love (A Love Beyond Labels #2) Page 7