“Let’s go,” I say, kissing her forehead.
“Let’s find a phone so you can call that pretty girl of yours.” She kisses my cheek before grabbing her keys off the kitchen table. I let out a long breath.
I need to find that lifeline, and I need to get ahold of Landon, or I’m in a lot of fucking trouble.
AN HOUR LATER, with no luck finding a phone, we pull up to Grace’s street. She’s silent while I’m on edge, and the storm clouds moving around above us, breaking the rain, is the only thing that’s giving me hope right now. She pulls into the driveway, hitting rain-filled potholes. As soon as she cuts the engine, I ask her, “Where’s my bike?”
“It’s in the attached garage.”
We get out of her car, and I put up the hood on my sweatshirt as light drizzle falls from the sky. Grace does the same with her jacket and fumbles for the key to unlock the garage door. “My fingers are cold. As soon as I can afford it, I’m moving back to California. I hate to be cold,” she says, unlocking the door and pushing it open. She stands to the side of the door, and when I look in front of me, I see my bike. I let out a breath and walk up to it. “I made sure my sister got it out here without a scratch.”
“Your sister?”
“Yeah, that’s who got me out here and into rehab. She was shocked when I got in touch with her. She thought I was dead all these years.”
“And your parents?” I ask, running my fingers on the leather seat of my bike.
“They’re dead. Drunk driving accident.”
“I’m sorry.”
“He did it to himself, but he took my mother with him.”
“You mean your dad was the drunk driver?”
“That’s what my sister Joy said. I wish Joy could meet you before you leave, but she’s on vacation with her family. You have cousins that are only a few years younger than you.”
“Maybe next time,” I tell her, pushing my bike out of the garage. “I’m going to take it for a quick drive, check out how much gas I’ve got, and make sure it’s riding good.”
“Let me get you some cash for gas.”
“Thanks, Grace,” I say earnestly. She smiles and walks away.
I swing my legs over and straddle my bike for the first time in over a year. “Is it yours? It looks vintage, baby,” passes through my mind, and all I see is Shay’s legs in her little pink bikini when she straddled my bike for the first time. That was one of our first moments I will never forget—when I surprised her at her house on my bike. It was the first time we explored each other’s bodies in her bedroom. I kick-start my bike and smile, remembering my girl’s sweet mouth when she…
“Here’s thirty dollars. Will that fill it up?” Grace walks back up to me, bringing me back to the present.
“That’s perfect, thanks.”
“What are you smiling about?”
“I was just thinking about something.”
“It’s loud,” she says, covering her ears. I chuckle.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She nods, steps back, and I take off down the road.
GOOSEBUMPS LINE MY body under my sweatshirt as I fill up my tank. It was already close to full, so the rest of the money Grace gave me will get me back to California. I hop back onto my bike and turn onto the main road. I’m not too far from Grace’s as I start down the two-lane country road. The road is slick, and the gravel from the side of the road crunch under my tires. Not used to driving my bike in these conditions, I hit my throttle a little too hard and skid across the road. Fuck! My back tire hits a damn pothole. I slowly throttle and get it out, but I can see right away my tire is busted. Dammit!
I pull to the side of the road as the mist turns into rain. This can’t be fucking happening to me!
Great, just fucking great. I’m in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone and a busted bike tire. I take my helmet off, throw my hair back, and look around. A red barn sits up ahead. I kick my stand and start walking my bike up the road.
Old red wood planks with some new ones mixed in rests in the middle of an open field, and there’s an old Chevy truck parked off to the side of the barn.
“Hello?” No one answers. I yell again. Still no reply. I look around, as the sky turns dark. How the hell am I going to ride in this back to California? It looks like a storm is brewing again. Just perfect. Turning away, I kick the gravel. “What the hell am I doing here? I need to be with my girl, not out here in the middle of fucking nowhere in another state. I’m so messed up!” I start walking with my bike.
“You’re not going to get far on that tire,” a deep voice says from behind me. I turn around and see a guy standing with his arms crossed.
“My tire’s busted.”
He walks over to the front of my bike. His black steel-toed boots dig into the wet gravel. He puts his hand on his chin and looks up at me with pale blue eyes that are close in color to mine. “Well, son, it looks like you need a new tire.”
“Yeah, I know.”
His eyes stay glued to mine, studying me. He clears his throat.
“I was just in the back, getting my pile of wood ready for the cold. Let’s go in my garage and see what we can come up with for you.” I hesitate, but I have no options. He’s just an old man with that whole farm boy vibe going for him. I don’t think I could get into a problem here. “Bring your bike, boy. It’s getting wet.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “Yeah, yeah…thanks,” I answer him, pushing my bike toward the barn. He swings the heavy barn door and opens the entire wall. “Wow,” I say, a little surprised by what I see before me.
“Yeah, I know. It doesn’t look like it would be this nice from the outside, does it? My son likes it that way.” I nod, looking around the impressive space. “Impressive, right? He restored these.” I look at the two muscle cars in mint condition. “But, you’re in luck. He’s into vintage bikes these days. He would love yours.”
“Yeah, I restored mine, too.”
“Really?” he says with a questioning tone.
“I needed transportation, and it was all I had. It took me a while to get it up and running.”
“Well, you did a nice job. It’s really nice.”
“Thanks, sir.”
He walks over to a pile of tires in the corner of the barn. “I’m sure we can get one of these to work for you. If not, it could take a few days or so to order one,” he says. I grit my teeth. I want to be in California now. I can’t wait longer than a day. I’ve got to get to Shay. He rummages through the pile, and a pang of guilt washes through me.
“I really appreciate you helping me out, but I can’t afford to pay you for the tire.”
He turns his head over his shoulder to make eye contact with me. “I’ll tell you what. My son has always been a pain in my ass… I’ll be honest. He treats me well, but when he was a kid, he was a little shit,” he says it with an easy tone. “He’ll be over to check on me tomorrow. He left his bike with me to do a couple repairs on it. How about you come help me get those repairs done, and we’ll call it even? It’s not easy for me to sit down on the concrete and work anymore. You know, bad knees and all.”
Tomorrow? That’s another day away from Shay. “That sounds great. Thank you,” I say, pissed off but thankful he’s helping me.
“It’s late. You can leave your bike here, and I’ll take you home. We can work on getting a tire on your bike and my son’s repairs first thing in the morning.”
“What time would you like me to be here?”
“Early bird gets the worm, boy. I’m up when the sun rises.”
“Okay, I’ll be here,” I say, putting my hand out for him. He reaches out, and I shake his large, firm hand.
“I didn’t even ask you your name, boy.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Jace.”
He continues shaking my hand as he asks, “You got a last name, Jace?”
“James. My name is Jace James.”
He loosens his grip, and once again, he s
tares at me a little too hard. A moment passes, and his lips turn up and form a smile.
“Jump in my truck, boy.”
I let him pass in front of me, and I go around to the other side of the truck and get in.
“I didn’t get your name,” I say as he puts his key into the ignition.
“Robert.”
“You got a last name, Robert?” I say, repeating his question to me.
He starts to say something else, then stops. “Robert is good. Just call me Robert.” We head down the road, and since I don’t know Grace’s address, I just point the way to Robert.
I see the turn for Grace’s place. “Turn right here.”
“You live with your parents?”
“No, this is my mom Grace’s place. I’m just visiting.”
He pulls to a stop and looks over at me. “Your mom’s name is Grace?”
“Yeah,” I say, opening my door. “Thanks for the ride, Robert. I’ll have my mom drop me off in the morning.”
“Sure thing, kid.”
I jump out of the truck, walk up the driveway, and head into the house. Robert doesn’t leave until I shut the front door.
“I was getting worried,” Grace says when I walk inside. She’s sitting on the couch, reading one of her books. I pull my wet sweatshirt over my head.
“Yeah, I didn’t know it was going to rain like that.”
“The weather is unpredictable around here. You never know when a rain cloud is coming in.” She sets her book down. “You can’t head back to California in this weather, Jace.”
“Yeah, I know that, Grace. My bike’s got a busted tire. I can’t leave for a while now,” I say sharply. I can’t help it. I’m fucking up so bad right now. Landon has probably already called Shay, wondering if she picked me up instead.
“A busted tire? How did you get back here?”
“I saw a barn on the side of the road. I pulled my bike over to it, and the old man there was nice enough to keep it for me. I need you to take me to his place first thing in the morning. I’m going to help him do a couple of repairs on his son’s bike, and he’s going to give me a new tire for helping him out.”
“How far was his place from here?”
“Not too far down the road—maybe a few miles. It was just a big red barn in the middle of a field.”
“What was the man’s name?” she asks, wide-eyed.
“Robert,” I answer, standing by the wall heater to get some warmth back. The color drains from her face, and she reaches for her lemon-filled water. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing,” she stutters. “Are you hungry?”
“I could probably eat a little something,” I say. She jumps up off the couch, and I have to clear my head. Visions of her passed out and unresponsive haunt me. I still can’t wrap my head around this new version of her. “I’m going to put on some dry clothes.” She nods.
“I’ll bring you something in a minute.”
“Thanks.” I go into the bedroom and shed my wet jeans and boxers. Grabbing a pair of sweats, I put them on. My girl stares back at me, and my heartbeat picks up. I grab the framed picture and sit on my bed. God, I love this picture of us. My arm is around her, and she’s looking up at me with so much love in her eyes. That was such a memorable night for us. I grind my teeth together. I’ll help Robert in the morning, and then I’m out of here. I don’t give a shit about the weather.
Drunken days are replaced with a courteous knock. “Come in,” I tell her. Grace walks over to me and hands me a paper plate with a sandwich lying on it.
“I made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” she says kindly, but kind words don’t come to me as I stare down at the sandwich that symbolizes my girl. I hand the plate back to her.
“I can’t eat this.”
“Why? I don’t remember you being allergic to peanut butter.”
Frustration hits me. “How would you know what the fuck I was allergic to? You weren’t ever coherent, and you sure the hell never fed me!”
“Jace, I’m sorry.” She turns and walks away.
I slam the door shut and yank at my hair. “You can have the other half of my heart.” I rub my temples. The zoo, entwined fingers for the first time, sitting on that bench watching her place all her mother’s love for her onto her napkin.
How could I have not gone straight to her? How could I have let down the one person that never let me down? I failed my girl.
Moving back to the picture of us, I trace her face with my finger. “I’m sorry, Shay. I’m coming home to you,” I whisper. I feel like I’m choking on broken promises.
“Please, God, don’t let her know I’m out yet. I can’t ever lose my girl,” I pray, wiping tears of regret away from my eyes before they fall.
THAT OLD FAMILIAR SMELL
GRAFFITI ON BUILDINGS and first moments stare back at me as I wipe another year away from my cheeks.
Halfway there, I remind myself, as we have a whole other year apart. Jace didn’t call this morning, making it two days in a row. Something isn’t right. He is a man of his word, my promise keeper. Missing two phone calls has me extremely worried. So, of course, my mind is thinking the worst—he got into another fight and they have him contained, leaving him no way to get in touch with me. He’s probably going just as crazy as I am, so I push open old familiar doors needing to feel my boy, needing to feel our love at the place destiny found us. I walk inside, and nothing has changed. I smile and breathe in deep, getting that old familiar smell into my lungs.
The community center surrounds me, and I’m taken right back to the twelve-year-old girl without a care in the world. Only this time I’m far from who I was then. I’m nineteen, heavy burdened and sad, secretly engaged to the boy who stole my heart right here within these walls.
Walking past a vacant reception desk, I head right into the rec room Jace and I sat many Wednesday afternoons making homemade cards and lots of under the table touches, of secret hand holding, entwining forever bonds that could never be broken. It’s the room he made me all his first-time heart-shaped love that I have perfectly placed inside our box of sweetness at home. Jules might think this room smells like a boy’s musty locker room, but for me, this place is the sweetest smelling room ever, a reminder of love’s beginning, and will always feel like home.
But, this room is not where I first laid eyes on Jace, and when I look past the inside, I’m drawn to the door that leads to the outside. Just looking at the scuffed-up door with Jace and my fingerprints on it, tears come easily when I push destiny’s place open.
Our tree is the first thing my eyes see. “Be my girl,” blinds me as I picture my back against the tree trunk and a young, sweet Jace leaning in to press his lips to mine for the very first time. “Best first kiss ever,” reminds me how perfect he’s always been to me.
Walking further, pothole reminders find my Converse-covered feet, and I look down at the patchy grass that hasn’t filled the spots of dirt even after all these years. It’s still a makeshift field in the middle of Los Angeles, and when I look back up and see a group of boys playing a game of pick-up football, my sad heart fills with a joyful reminder of the blue-eyed boy that shook my entire world the moment he walked up to me. I sit down and watch them play.
“Hi, Shay.” I hear. I look up, quickly wiping my tears as the center’s director walks up to me.
“Hi, Shannon.”
“Wow, it’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve been a little busy.”
“I heard. I love your song.”
“Thank you.”
She sits down next to me, and my eyes go right back to the football game. “Is everything okay?” she asks. Another tear falls, and I look at her.
“I’ve been better.”
She looks out to the boys playing. “Bring back memories?”
I grin and nod, then look back at her and break down. “Yeah, it brings back a lot.”
“I remember when we all went to the zoo for that field
trip, and when I called out who was riding in what car, Jace couldn’t get your name out fast enough. He always wanted to be where you were.”
“Me, too.”
“Is your song about him?”
“Yeah.” I smile.
“I figured it was.”
“How is he?”
I turn back to her and bite down on my lip. “Jace is in prison, Shannon.”
“I know.”
“How did you know?”
“Shay, Jace grew up coming here. People talk.”
I smirk and let out a loud huff, wiping my eyes dry. “It’s been a long year. Put it that way.”
“But you’re still together after all these years, right?”
“I will always stand by his side, no matter what. I love him. I don’t know if you know why he’s in prison, but Jace is incredibly loving, and he cares deeply. It was just a bad situation that landed him there. Please don’t think bad of him.”
“I know Jace is a good person,” she says with caring eyes.
“The best,” I tell her.
She looks back at the boys as they break their huddle. “You remember Tommy Mathews?”
“Yes, I do.”
“He needs a girl like you in his life.”
“Why do you say that?”
“He’s going down the wrong path.”
“What’s going on?”
“Well, he skips school a lot, doesn’t give much of an effort, and he likes to fight.”
“I remember helping him with his math. He was a sweet kid. He’s the same age as my twin siblings.”
“Well, I don’t know how sweet he is anymore.”
“Maybe I can start volunteering again and help him with his homework.”
“That would be fantastic.”
“I don’t know how often I can come with my schedule getting busier, but I would love to help when I can.” The boys start walking off the field, and Shannon calls Tommy over to us. “Boy, he’s really grown up,” I tell her.
Questionable Love (A Love Beyond Labels #2) Page 23