by Dalia Wright
Now, it felt as though her life was being pulled in a different direction— a direction that meant being shunned if she allowed herself to fall for Trey. She couldn’t lose her faith and community with a bobli on the way. Trey also wouldn’t be able to handle another child when he was already struggling to take care of two of his own.
Her heart ached thinking of leaving Chloe and Paisley, but it was the right thing to do.
“I felt it too,” Emma said, softly, “but it’s a mistake for me to feel this way. Years ago, I joined my church because I couldn’t imagine my life without my faith or family. I still can’t imagine my life without it now that my mann is gone.”
Trey swallowed thickly, but nodded his head in understanding. “I get it,” he said. “I wouldn’t ask you for you to leave either because I know how serious it is to join your church.”
“Danka. I should go.”
Tears wetted Emma’s eyelashes as she buttoned up her coat to fend of the bitter chill of the Autumn afternoon. “I can find someone to watch your girls for you. There is an older woman named Sarah who used to teach at the schoolhouse, but she recently has retired the position to someone else. I overheard her the other day looking for a small job to help her mann around the farm.”
“Emma—”
She paused through the back kitchen door.
“Please don’t go,” Trey said, and she jumped at how close he was. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
A strong hand grasped hers. It gave her hand a strong and comforting squeeze, but Emma kept herself from turning around. If she did, there was no telling what would happen with Trey standing so close to her. So close that she could smell freshly chopped wood and sugar. Her eyes slipped closed, only allowing herself to relish in the feeling of Trey’s hand in her own.
“It’s better for both of us,” she said.
Emma let go off Trey’s hand. A small part of her was disappointed when he didn’t reach out to grab her again. The chilly afternoon swallowed her as she quickly hitched her horse back up to the buggy, her fingers fumbling with the buckles.
It was for the best, she told herself while trotting along the road back home. At least, that was what Emma prayed for as she raised her eyes to the deep cerulean sky with tearful eyes.
Ch. 9
It was for the better. It was what Gott intended.
Emma repeated this to herself several times while folding up the letter from her Aunt Ruth. She had written a letter the previous week asking to visit since it had been years since they last saw one another, but the thought of new faces and sights provided a pleasant distraction from the confused mess her emotions were in. When Emma had been a bobli herself, the news of rich land and plenty of space to farm had appealed to her daed at the time. They left behind the rest of their extended family to venture out as Gott intended for them.
In a few weeks, she would take a train to travel across to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to visit family there. It would be good to get away for a bit, to clear her mind, and to put some space between herself and Trey. She had spent the past week praying while helping her maemm at the bakery. The only thing that seemed to help ease the ache deep within her was the idea of traveling to Lancaster for a few weeks to help her Aunt Ruth with her own bakery. The thought of spending some time away refreshed her; something that she believed Gott would never let her do if it weren’t right.
And maybe it was a bit uncouth of her to pick up and leave while pregnant, but it was the only thing that seemed to be a resolution. The last thing that Emma wanted to do was leave behind her faith and family by allowing herself to follow her attraction for Trey on a whim.
The cheerful jingle of a bell above her maemm’s bakery door interrupted Emma’s thoughts. She looked up from the shelf that she had been wiping down, to find - much to her dismay - Trey entering the bakery with Paisley and Chloe holding his hands tightly. Her heart sank in guilt and pain when the two girls immediately spotted her by the freshly baked breaks, giving her a cheerful wave before letting go of their father’s hand to dash to her side.
Emma forced a warm smile as little arms wound themselves about her dress skirts and legs. “Hello girls. What are you all doing on such a chilly day?”
“Dad took time off to get us hot cider,” Chloe said.
“It was yummy,” Paisley added enthusiastically.
“I told them that they could have a cookie,” Trey said, approaching them cautiously.
Their eyes met for the first time in a week since she had asked Sarah to take over the nanny position. Nothing in Trey’s expression indicated hurt or anger. Instead, the distant expression on his bearded face indicated he was accepting of what had been said. Part of her deflated in disappointment.
Emma’s heart gave a flutter as it now always did whenever she saw Trey, but she forced herself to look down at the ground.
“I hope you don’t mind,” he continued on. “I heard great things about your mother’s bakery, so it seemed better than the grocery store.”
“Of course not,” Emma said, running a hand down the back of Paisley’s curly hair. “Chloe, take your sister to pick out a cookie from the display.”
The two girls darted up to the display case to pick out cookies. Emma took the opportunity to look back up at Trey. “Trey, I’m sorry for everything. I hope you are not angry with me over my decision.”
“If I was angry, I wouldn’t be here,” Trey replied, and this time she did detect a bit of disappointment. “I understand why, though. The girls just wanted to see you today.”
“I miss them,” Emma admitted sadly. “I will miss them even more when I go to visit my aunt in Pennsylvania.”
That caught Trey’s attention. He stared at her hard. “You’re leaving?”
Emma dropped her gaze to the floor to avoid the intensity of his eyes. “Just for a little bit,” she said, softly. “I need some time away to pray. My Aunt Ruth has kindly offered me a place to work at for a little bit.”
“You will be coming back though, right?”
She didn’t get the chance to reply. The door jingled open again as her maemm stepped inside carrying several bags of flour in her arms. Her cheeks were red from the chill in the air.
Mary blinked in surprise to see Trey standing next to Emma. A faint frown spread across her brow, but she was pleasant as she approached them.
“Hello,” she said kindly to Trey before sweeping by them. “I did not mean to interrupt. I will be in the back.”
Thankful for the distraction, Emma stepped away from Trey to kiss and hug the girls goodbye. “If you don’t mind, Ma, I think I’m going to home for a bit to lay down.”
“Sure,” Mary said, disappearing into the back while calling over her shoulder. “Danka for helping me today.”
Chloe looked up in confusion as she hugged Emma tightly around the middle.
“Emma, you’re belly feels swollen. Is it hurting?”
The innocent query echoed loudly in the bakery. Emma’s stomach twisted into knots when she lifted her gaze to look up at Trey who frowned at the comment before realization spread across his face. His jaw dropped open as his eyes immediately darted up to take in Emma’s burning face.
“A little,” she told Chloe, untangling herself gently as possible. “I must go, Chloe. You pick out a cookie for Paisley.”
Her heart pounded as she breezed by a motionless Trey to the front door. The chilly afternoon air plucked at her dress skirts impishly the moment she stepped outside. She didn’t get far before she heard the door open up behind her.
“Wait, Emma.”
A hand gently grasped her elbow, halting her hasty retreat. Trey looked down at her flushed face and tearful eyes with a frown.
“Is this why you’re leaving? Because you’re pregnant?”
“This isn’t an appropriate conversation,” Emma spluttered out, trying to free her elbow from Trey’s firm grasp. “Please, Trey. I have to go.”
“Why are you runni
ng?” Trey asked. “Have I done something wrong to make you want to run away?”
“Nee, of course not. You have always been kind to me.”
“Then what is it?”
Emma chewed on her bottom lip in uncertainty. She decided then after a moment of prayer that it was best to be honest. She needed to speak the truth.
“My faith has been under compromise since my husband’s death,” she said, quietly. “I love my faith. I love my community, and I could never see myself anywhere else. Then, I met you and those precious little girls…” Her eyes slipped closed. “If I allow myself to fall in love with you, I go against the vows I made willingly to my church. I could lose my family in a lot of ways, and I just don’t know if I can have that happen right now.”
“So, you’re running away from all of it, then?”
“I’m not,” Emma replied, opening her eyes to gaze up at Trey. The overcast skies brought out the green and blue flecks of color in Trey’s eyes as they stared down at her. It took all of Emma’s strength to not reach upwards to gently touch his jaw, or to wonder what it would feel like to have those lips against hers in a sweet kiss.
“It sounds like you are,” Trey said.
His hand reached up to gently rub its way up her shoulder. The gesture caused Emma’s arm to tingle delightfully. When she felt long fingers brush against the skin of her neck, Emma reached up to curl her fingers around Trey’s wrist to stop him.
“Trey—” she started in warning, but he didn’t heed the warning.
Instead, he read Emma’s mind by pressing his lips up against hers. The taste of him, cloves and kaffe, overwhelmed her senses. His lips were soft and supple as they moved against hers.
Trey pulled back before she could even think to do anything. They stared at each other for a moment as Emma tried desperately to find something to say. Her stomach kept knotting as all the emotions from the past few weeks crashed down on her again.
She had let another man kiss her. An English man to be exact.
What was wrong with her?
“I know I wasn’t supposed to do that—”
“You weren’t,” Emma cut over him harshly, tears wetting her eyelashes again. “I’m leaving in a week to go visit my aunt. Please just let me go.”
She turned sharply on her heel to hurry across the parking lot. It took all of her restraint not to turn around to see if Trey was following behind, but a few blocks later, she risked a glance behind her shoulder to find an empty sidewalk.
Emma let out a strangled breath as she walked along through the chilly afternoon. No matter what happened, she told herself, she was leaving to be with her Aunt Ruth before her bobli was born. Even if that kiss with Trey had felt wunderbar, a part of her confessed with a small ounce of shame, she would not be put in the position to pick her family and faith or to pick Trey and a life outside of her Amish roots.
Ch. 10
The morning of Emma’s departure from her beloved community came sooner than she anticipated. She left the care of her farm and haus in her family’s hands as she bid them a tearful goodbye before piling into an English cab to take her to the train station.
“Remember to write us when you are there,” Abram told her, closing the cab door gently. “I will keep you in my prayers for safe travels, and for whatever else Gott has planned for you.”
Emma blinked back more tears. “Danka, Da,” she replied, reaching out to grasp one of his roughened hands. “I will be in touch shortly.”
“Safe travels.”
He stepped back from the car door with a small encouraging smile. If anyone would be supportive of her decision to go to Lancaster, her daed would be. He did not wish to see her venture away from her faith.
The cab ride through the countryside filled Emma with a pang of nostalgia. Fiery reds and violent shades of orange covered the Sangre de Cristo mountain range. In a matter of days, all the colors would fall to the ground, and there would be nothing but evergreen pine trees in sight. She closed her eyes as a small wave of peace flowed over her, one hand placed over the swell of her stomach. They drove in silence until fields gave away to busy highways that circled tall buildings.
The train station was crowded with people as Emma ventured over to a small booth to pay for her ticket. She stood on the metal platform with a group of people also waiting for their train to arrive before taking a seat on a bench with a tired sigh. A small tremor of excitement went up Emma’s spine thinking of how it would feel to be seated on the train and on her way to Lancaster. She imagined it would feel uplifting and freeing and—
“Do you really want to go to Pennsylvania?”
A startled squeak left Emma’s mouth. “Trey? What are you doing here? How did you find me?”
Other passengers stopped to give them curious glances. The center of Emma’s cheeks burned as she gathered her bag, cradling it close to her chest for comfort.
Trey reclined back against the bench as he stretched his long strong arms along the back. He grinned at her shocked expression.
“You told me that you were going to be at the train station,” he said. “It’s not that hard to figure out the train schedule to Pennsylvania, too. This was the only train that left at this time.”
“Yes,” she said, exasperated with his presence. “I do want to go. Nothing sounds better right now than going. It’s what I have to do.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Is it really? Or is what you think you have to do to protect yourself from getting hurt again?”
“Both,” Emma replied, stiffly. “I told you, Trey. I’m leaving. I don’t even know what Gott wants me to do right now, but I have to go. It’s better that I go.”
The screech of the train whistle as it approached startled Emma. Before she could sit up, her train ticket clutched tightly in hand, Trey turned to face her fully. He fixed her with a gaze that instantly pinned her to the bench, unable to move from the intensity of his eyes.
“Then hear me out before you go,” Trey said, steadily. “I know your faith, and maybe you don’t believe in coincidences, but I do. I don’t think it is a coincidence that I moved out here. I hate the wilderness. I hate farms. I’m a born and raised city boy, but you know what? None of that bothered me anymore when you came into my life. For the first time, I felt as though another person understood what it felt like to navigate through life without the person they had loved.”
“Trey,” Emma breathed.
His words washed over her smoothly, chipping away at her self control. He reached out a hand to rest it lightly on her knee. “I know what this could mean to you if I asked to stay here, to stay with me, and give us a chance to be together. I know what the consequences will be for you, and I’m fully ready to help you through that.”
Tears obscured Emma’s vision of the platform as she sucked in a watery breath. She had no idea how to react, or even what to say. The only thing she could feel was Trey’s hand on her knee.
“Do you believe that God creates people for one another?” Trey asked.
“Yes,” she said, “I do.”
“I believe it to. When I met my wife years ago, I thought, ‘this is who God intended me to be with’. I didn’t understand when she died, but I know now that it’s because I was somehow supposed to meet you. I know that it’s crazy since we’re practically strangers, but I’m asking you to not get on that train.”
His hand snatched up her cold and clammy one. “Stay here with me—I have a feeling you want to stay, too.”
The train doors opened as people poured out. What was it about this man who held such a strong hold over her? No amount of prayer helped her understand why Trey was sitting alongside her at the train station, but she couldn’t get on that train no matter how much she told herself to.
Trey placed a kiss on the back of her hand as he watched her face intently. “If you need some time to think about this, or to get on that train, I will understand. It’s not an easy decision for anyone to make.”
The passengers wh
o had waited patiently for the train to empty of its previous occupants began piling inside. Emma stared down at the train ticket clutched tightly in her hand. There was no denying it. After weeks of spending time with Trey and his two girls, she had fallen for him. No matter how hard she prayed for things to be different, it was clear that the path Gott had placed her on led straight to Trey. And she couldn’t deny it any longer.
Her heart clenched sharply thinking of her family. They would undoubtedly be upset with her decision, but they would also be forgiving. The door would be shut on her, and she would only be allowed to come inside at a distance.
“I don’t want to go,” Emma said, “but my family—”
“I know,” Trey said, quietly. “I won’t ever ask you to give them up. I know I’m asking you to be with me, to give me a chance, but if it means losing all that’s close to you, get on that train.”
“I wouldn’t lose them. I’d be shunned, but I would also be forgiven too. That is the way of our faith.”
“I see.”
They were quiet for a long time as the train whistled a warning. Then, a cloud of smoke filled the air before the doors clicked shut, and it pulled out smoothly from the station. Emma watched it go, her fingers twined tightly with Trey’s.
She had a second chance at love. There was no way she was going to let it pass her by.
Trey looked up at her baffled when she stood up. Staring down at the train ticket in her hand, Emma prayed quietly before crumpling it up into a ball. She tossed it in the trash bin before turning to look at Trey who stood up to wrap her up into a one-
armed hug.
“Everything will be fine. I promise,” he said.
She smiled lightly. “I think so, too.”
The End
Annie’s Escape
By: Elaine Young
Prologue
Annie, an outspoken farm girl, grew up the child of Richard and Jane Potter who ran a Kentucky farm on a plot settled by Jane’s father in 1866. By 1870, right after Jane had married Richard, Jane’s father passed away suddenly, leaving the farm for Richard to tend. Annie was born a year later and had been working on the farm with her mother since she was three years old.