Shelby frowned. ‘Why would I forget?’ she asked, and he sighed heavily.
‘We none of us know what’s round the corner,’ he replied mysteriously, releasing her to pick up their belongings.
Shelby puzzled over what he had said as they made their way back down to where they had left the car, but had to give it up as a bad job. Whatever he meant was doomed to remain a mystery, for she couldn’t foresee any reason why she would forget. Besides, she had other things to think about, such as the fact that, against all the odds, they loved each other.
One day she would want to know how and when he had fallen in love with her and why he had taken so long to tell her. However, for now, just knowing it was enough. For the first time since her accident, the future didn’t seem so scary.
CHAPTER TEN
THERE were times in the next few days when Shelby had to give herself a pinch in order to convince herself she wasn’t dreaming. She was so happy that half the time she felt as if she were walking on air. She had never seen Gray so relaxed. It was wonderful being with him. The days were a joy, the nights a revelation.
There was a quality to their lovemaking that she had never felt before, and she knew it was because she loved him. Love gave everything they said and did a different nuance. She couldn’t have explained it in words; she just knew it was there because of her feelings for Gray and his for her. Life had never been more perfect.
Towards the end of the week, Gray decided to drive into the village to pick up some much needed groceries. Shelby opted to stay behind to do some washing. They had got through most of the clothes they had brought with them. It brought a smile to her lips as she set a load on to wash, remembering just how some of the clothes had got grubby. Humming to herself, she went upstairs to change the sheets and see if there was anything else that needed freshening.
The bed having been stripped and remade, she glanced round for anything she had missed. There was a towel and some other items of clothing draped over the chair in the corner of the bedroom and it was as she gathered them up that something fell off on to the floor. Glancing down in surprise, Shelby discovered it was Gray’s wallet and he would need it to pay for the groceries. Tossing the washing on to the bed, she reached down for the leather case. It had fallen open and she realised, as she picked it up, that the reason it didn’t close properly was because he kept a folded-up handkerchief in it.
Shelby hadn’t intended to pry but her curiosity was piqued. Unfolding the linen square, to her surprise she found a smudge of lipstick on it. Her brows rose. Why on earth was he keeping a dirty handkerchief in his wallet? The answer swiftly followed the question. She hadn’t considered Gray to be an overly sentimental man, but the handkerchief and its smudge had to mean something to him.
She couldn’t exactly say why, but her heart lurched anxiously. The happiness she had been feeling faded away as she slowly folded the linen back as she had found it. She was about to replace it when the corner of a photograph caught her attention next. Gray had shown her a photograph before, and she wondered if this was it. She was sure he wouldn’t mind her taking another look.
Easing the photo out, she took it across to the window for a better look. Yes, it was the same one. As she angled it, sunlight caught on something outside the window and reflected it back into the room, blinding her temporarily. Pain shot through her head and she winced, pressing a hand to her temple. Whatever the flash had been, it left her with a nagging background headache.
Doing her best to ignore it, Shelby examined the photo again. She smiled. Apart from the incident in the toilet, it had been a great evening. There had been a photographer doing the rounds of the tables, taking snaps. She hadn’t realised he’d kept this one…
Her breath caught in her throat as she realised what she was thinking. She could remember this photograph being taken, and that could only mean one thing. She had got her memory back. There was a seat built into the window embrasure and she dropped on to it, probing her brain for the hitherto elusive memories. They all came flooding back as the gates were opened. The threats. Gray. The accident. Some things were a little fuzzy, but basically she recalled everything.
Including the events after the accident.
It was as if a fist had fastened on her heart. She stared at the picture, feeling sick. There was no ‘us’. This wasn’t a photo of the two of them together because they were in love with each other. It was all lies! Everything he had told her in the hospital had been a lie, and that meant these last few days had been pure fabrication too.
Shelby pressed a hand to her mouth. Oh, dear God. She had told him she loved him. He had said he loved her too. Yet how could he? They had been attracted to each other, but it wasn’t love—for him. Everything was suddenly very clear. He had invented that because of her accident. He had needed to keep her safe, and he had needed to be with her. The best way to accomplish that was to say they were lovers already.
Her head swam with the enormity of it, and she was hit by an intense wave of hurt. He had lied and she had believed it. She would have gone on believing it, had her memory not returned by looking at the photo he had left behind with his wallet when he’d gone out.
Her head came up at that, alerting her to a new fact. Gray had gone out. He had gone out and left her here. Alone. The one thing he had been careful not to do. Which could only mean the situation had changed. There was only one thing which could do that. The man had been found. He was no longer a threat. Of course it was a relief to know she was out of danger, but it couldn’t alter the fact that the world she had believed to be so perfect had just collapsed around her like a house of cards!
The creak of a board caused her to look round and her heart lurched painfully when she saw Gray standing in the doorway. His eyes went from her stricken face to the washing, his wallet and then the photo she still held, assessing the situation in an instant. He took a deep breath, his expression becoming watchful.
‘I forgot my wallet,’ he told her simply, and Shelby nodded. It was probably the sunlight flashing off something on the car that had triggered the whole thing off.
‘I found it in the washing and thought you wouldn’t mind my looking at our photo again,’ she said flatly. ‘I wish I hadn’t, though,’ she added, slipping it back into the wallet and holding the leather case closed.
‘Why? What’s happened? You’re acting a little strangely,’ Gray observed, taking a few cautious steps into the room, the better to see her.
She laughed unevenly, but responded with a question of her own. ‘Do you think it was wise to go off and leave me alone like that?’
As if he had somehow been expecting it, he made the logical conclusion instantly. ‘You’ve remembered.’
Rising, Shelby walked over to him and held out the wallet, her eyes never leaving his. ‘Everything,’ she confirmed pointedly.
Gray frowned faintly, not quite following. ‘Surely that’s a good thing? You wanted to remember.’
She shrugged. ‘I did, until I discovered it was a curate’s egg. Only good in parts.’
His frown faded and was replaced by an encouraging smile. ‘It was bound to be a shock, sweetheart,’ he began, reaching out to take her by the shoulders and offer comfort.
Shelby took a swift step backwards, shrugging him off. ‘Don’t touch me!’ she ordered, and Gray allowed his hands to fall to his sides again.
‘What’s the problem?’ he asked bluntly, visibly drawing himself up ready to respond to whatever she said next.
“What’s the problem?” she parroted with a scornful laugh. ‘The problem, darling, is you!’
He folded his arms over the chest she had fallen asleep on any number of times these past few days, and it speared her heart to recall it.
‘Spit it out, Red. Let’s hear it,’ he commanded tautly, and suddenly the atmosphere in the room could be cut with a knife.
‘I understand that you were only doing your job,’ Shelby replied, pacing away to the window, then turning to fa
ce him, hands rubbing up and down her arms in her agitation. ‘Faced with the fact of my accident, you had to do something,’ she accepted in a scratchy voice. ‘Some lies were inevitable, but did you really have to go so far as to tell me you loved me?’ There, it was out, the lie that hurt her to her core. The lie she would never forgive him for.
Gray responded by closing the gap between them, eyes burning into her. ‘What makes you think I don’t?’
Her own eyes flashed angry sparks at him. ‘Because I’m not a fool. It was all a lie. All part of the act that would keep me docile until my memory returned!’
His head went back, as if her words had struck a physical blow, then his nostrils flared as he took in a steadying breath. ‘And if I tell you you’re wrong?’ he countered hardily, and she laughed harshly.
‘I wouldn’t believe you. You lied to me, Gray, and I’ll never forgive you!’ she declared passionately, her chin wobbling disastrously.
‘No,’ Gray argued with a shake of his head. ‘Let’s get this straight. It isn’t the supposed lie you won’t forgive, is it? It’s that I know you love me. Or are you going to tell me that was a lie too?’ he countered tensely.
Her breath hitched in her throat at his insight, and she stared at him. She wanted to say it, to salve her pride, but couldn’t. ‘It wasn’t a lie,’ she gritted out through her teeth. ‘You were the one who lied. How could you?’ She began her nervy pacing again.
The accusation made his jaw clench. ‘How could I lie? By saying we were a couple to protect you from some madman—easily! How could I love you? God knows, right now I don’t know how I could, but I do!’ he declared in a raised voice that halted her in her tracks.
‘Stop saying that,’ Shelby ordered, feeling confused and shaken. This wasn’t at all the way she had expected him to react to her having discovered the truth. He was the one in the wrong—wasn’t he? He was the one who had lied, so why was he acting so hurt and outraged? He ought to be apologising to her, trying to explain his actions.
Gray propped himself against the nearby wardrobe and folded his arms, looking prepared to stay there for ever. ‘No. I can’t take it back, and wouldn’t if I could. You want the truth and so do I. I’m tired of having to pretend I don’t care. When I told you I loved you, it was the honest truth. I love you, Shelby. What are you going to do about it?’
That struck a nerve with her. ‘What do you know about pretending you don’t care?’ she charged scornfully, and his brows rose mockingly.
‘What? You think you have a monopoly on hiding your feelings? Dream on, Red. I fell in love with you when you were eighteen years old!’ he informed her in a tone that was way short of lover-like.
Shelby’s lips parted on a sharp intake of breath. ‘You couldn’t have,’ she protested, for that was when she had fallen in love with him.
He smiled grimly. ‘Couldn’t I? You have no idea. I held out my hand to help you out of a taxi, like I’d done countless times before, but this was different. You looked up at me with those big green eyes of yours, and I fell head over heels,’ he confessed, shaking his head at the memory. ‘I spent the next ten years hiding the fact.’
She was totally stunned. If he was to be believed, they had fallen in love with each other at the same moment. It was incredible. She had told nobody, not even her father, so there was no way Gray could know the how of it from her or any other source. Which meant everything he had just told her had to be his truth. If that was so, then it would mean he hadn’t lied. Her hand rose to her mouth and she stared at him over it, her eyes huge with wonder and uncertainty.
‘That was when I fell in love with you,’ she told him in an awestruck voice, all the anger draining out of her in the face of his confession.
At her words it was Gray’s turn to be dumbfounded. He straightened up abruptly. ‘What? You’re kidding?’ he challenged in disbelief.
Shelby shook her head. ‘No. You took my hand, and…’ She allowed the rest to tail off. He would make his own connection.
Gray took a deep breath, then dragged a very shaky hand through his hair. ‘You know what this means, don’t you? We’ve loved each other for ten years and hid it so well that neither of us even guessed! If you believe I really do love you, that is?’ He looked a question that made her wince.
‘Yes, I believe you. There’s no way you could have made that up,’ she told him honestly. ‘Like you, I worked so hard not to give myself away. When I thought I had, because of your lie, I struck out. I’m sorry.’
Gray allowed himself a faint smile. ‘You were hurt. It’s understandable.’
‘How can you forgive me so easily?’ she just had to ask, and his smile softened.
‘Because I love you, Red. It’s as simple as that,’ he told her, and this time when he went to take her in his arms she didn’t pull away. ‘For the record, I hated having to lie to you. Unfortunately it was necessary.’
Shelby slipped her arms around him and held on tight. From the depths of despair just moments ago, she was discovering happiness was within her grasp again. ‘I understand now. It was just such a shock—remembering that way. That picture…’ She fell silent for a moment, recalling other things. ‘You kept the photograph?’ She frowned up at him and his lips twitched.
‘You looked beautiful in it.’
Her heart did a tiny skip. ‘And the handkerchief?’
‘It was my way of holding on to your kiss,’ he told her simply and brought tears to her eyes.
‘I think that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard!’ Shelby exclaimed, her heart swelling with love for him.
Gray looked at her seriously. ‘You’re very precious to me, Red,’ he told her in a husky voice. ‘When Oscar told me about the threats, I couldn’t get back to you fast enough. When you refused to take it seriously, I wanted to throttle you. If you had died, my life would have been over. That was when I decided I had to partly show my hand. I couldn’t face losing you, so I had to find out if there was ever going to be anything between us. When I realised you wanted me as much as I wanted you, I decided to go for it. If a love affair was all it would turn out to be, hell, at least I would have had that.’
A tiny laugh escaped her. ‘We’re too much alike. I was thinking the same thing.’
He groaned a wry acknowledgement. ‘So, here we were, supposed lovers, with me knowing we weren’t and you fully expecting us to be sharing a bed. You pushed my resolve to its very limits. I don’t know how long I could have held out if I hadn’t got that phone call from your father.’
Shelby leaned back slightly so she could see his face. ‘Of course. Now I get it. I didn’t understand. I thought you’d given in to the inevitable. Dad gave you the all-clear, didn’t he, and that meant I was no longer off limits. That’s why you made love to me!’
Gray dropped his forehead down to rest on hers. ‘Thank God for that call. I was going out of my mind. Another night like that one and I wouldn’t have been accountable!’
Laughter bubbled out of her at that. ‘And there I was doing my best to seduce you. But you could have made love to me, Gray. I wanted you to, and I didn’t remember we hadn’t actually got that far.’
‘Which only added to my torment,’ he admitted dryly. ‘But I couldn’t have made love to you, Red, for the very reason you pointed out. You didn’t know what was a lie.’
‘Yet we did make love,’ she reminded him, and he sighed.
‘True. After which I told you I loved you. I hoped the truth of that would outweigh the lie in the end.’
She recalled something else. ‘You told me to remember you loved me. I didn’t know why, but I understand now. It was because you feared something like this happening, wasn’t it?’
Gray pulled her back into his arms and rested his chin on her hair. ‘When I told you I loved you, I didn’t expect you to tell me you loved me back. Hoped for it, but didn’t expect it. When you told me, I realised that your lack of memory had made you vulnerable to the truth when you finally remem
bered it. I hoped that my words would soften the blow.’
Shelby sighed wistfully. ‘It would have done if I’d remembered what you said. I do love you, Gray. So much that I can’t put it into words. When I think of all the time I wasted, going out with those other men. Pretending I was having a grand old time, when really I was pining for you.’
‘That makes two of us, darling,’ Gray confessed. ‘Those women were for show. The only one I wanted was you. I think your father guessed I had a soft spot for you. That was why he told me that being faint hearted wouldn’t get me what I wanted.’
A light went on in Shelby’s brain. ‘I think you’re right. When we were at the airport on our way here, I let slip to him that I loved you. He must have realised that the pair of us were hopeless cases and decided to do a little match-making of his own!’
Gray’s laugh was wonderfully light-hearted. ‘Thank goodness he did.’
‘You know he’s going to think he engineered the whole thing, don’t you? We’re never going to live it down.’
‘He’ll tell the children too,’ Gray added with a laugh.
‘Whose children?’ Shelby asked, heart tripping as she looked up at him.
Blue eyes smiled down at her. ‘Ours, of course. Providing you marry me.’
Happiness was a huge bubble inside her. ‘Are you asking me to marry you?’ she teased lightly, never having any intention of saying anything other than yes.
‘You’re the only woman I ever intend to marry, so yes, I’m asking. Will you marry me, Red?’ he asked solemnly, and her love for him overflowed.
‘Oh, yes. A thousand times yes,’ she accepted, reaching up to kiss him.
Gray kissed her back, and for a moment the world outside stopped existing as they sealed their vow. Then he broke the kiss and swept her up in his arms, carrying her over to the freshly made bed. There was a wealth of love and laughter in his eyes as he laid her down and joined her.
‘We’ll do the shopping later. Right now I have an urgent need to make love with you.’
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