by Abby Gordon
Weary, wary eyes studied his face. Max felt like he was on quicksand. Was this how she had felt when he and Charlie had demanded answers?
“So why didn’t you ever try to find me?” she asked. “I can understand amnesia. To a point. It’s hard to picture you in a coma for a month or so. But it’s been ten years! Are you still scared?”
Her jaw suddenly snapped shut at her words. Max felt his cock stir to life as a decidedly erotic, sensual heat spread through his body. Desire burned in him, and he knew that he was going to have her again. Soon. And no one dead or alive would take her from him again. His hands captured her face when she started to pull back.
“Stop,” he said huskily. “Three things. One, we were both deceived ten years ago. Two, there’s not a single thing we can do to change the past. And three, if I don’t kiss you, I’ll go completely insane.”
Her mouth dropped open at his last words. His mouth swooped in and claimed hers. Ginny whimpered, her eyelids fluttering shut. Oh, God, he’d missed this. They’d had only one night, but those memories had haunted him every night since. Dreams didn’t match the real thing. And the real thing was beneath his lips. He explored her mouth, wrapping around her tongue and tugging.
Max thought he’d died and gone to heaven when he felt her relax into the kiss. When she responded, her hands sliding up his forearms to grip his biceps, and her tongue slipping into his mouth, he nearly lost the last of his control. She was in his arms and on his lap in the next heartbeat, and his cock hardened until all he could think of was picking up right where they’d left off.
Literally.
One hand slid to the back of her head to hold her still as he devoured her mouth. The other moved down the swan-like neck and covered a breast. Knowing now that she’d had his child, the changes in her body made sense. And he certainly liked the full softness that filled his palm. He imagined her underneath him as his hand followed her ribs to her hip. And moved to the high hem of her shorts. A long lean finger slipped under the cotton and brushed soft folds. Ginny was ready to surrender. He felt her body melt, unable to resist his caresses. Suddenly she tore her mouth free, turning her head from him with a sob.
“Stop,” she gasped.
“Why? You liked it as much as I did,” he told her, eyes narrowed. Christ, now what game was she playing?
“You’re forgetting a few very important things.”
The purpose of his visit brought his head up sharply. He nodded, lifting her off his thighs and setting her back on the cushion. Standing, he looked down at her.
“We’ll leave in five minutes. Get your things.”
Ginny looked at him in shock for five seconds before laughing.
“God, you’re still an arrogant ass!” Pulling her legs back up, she let her body fall against the back of the couch. “That’s not what I meant.”
“We have to get out of here,” he maintained stubbornly, stepping over the trunk.
Shaking her head, she rested a cheek on her knees and looked at him calmly.
“Why don’t you ask what my other reasons were for not contacting you or getting word to you about Charlie?”
Mention of the boy drew Max up short. Other reasons? She’d had other reasons for not telling him he had a son? That meant she’d really done it on purpose! He stared at her in shock. Cold fury filled him as he turned back around to look at her.
“Which were?” he demanded in a hard voice.
Ginny wasn’t backing down an inch. From her seat on the couch, she stared up at him with all certainty that she was in the right. That once he heard her out, he would agree. Or not. Like he’d said, they couldn’t change the past. Was there more to this though? Had someone told her something else about his past? There was only one thing he could think of. And unfortunately, he could see how that would be a valid reason.
“One, you were committed to your job more than any one person in your life. Children need stability. You going off for months at a time would hardly have given him that.”
“So you decided without giving me the chance to be there?” he frowned.
“Two, and more importantly,” she continued over his words, lifting her head to squarely meet his angry gaze. “The second you acknowledged him as your child, every enemy you’ve made would go after him. I wouldn’t be able to keep him safe.”
That reality stung even more. Yes, he had enemies. But it was an accepted part of their world, much as it had been during the Cold War—you left family members alone. His parents had been left alone. His brothers and sister and their families had been left alone. Ready to argue with her, he glared down at her. And saw the conviction in her gaze. She knew something. Something that had convinced her to choose the path she had.
Could circumstances have changed that much? Granted he didn’t pay much attention, but to deprive him of his son?
“We could have, though,” he told her softly. “And again, you never gave me a chance.”
“No one knows where I am,” she told him. “Leave now and Charlie will be safe.”
“Didn’t you pay attention earlier?” Max taunted. “In the last two days, George and Sam have been killed. We’re all at risk. Frank thinks Polaris is trying to get rid of the team that nearly got him ten years ago before he makes his move.”
All the color and animation drained from her face.
“So you came straight to me.” She scrambled off the couch. “You brought them straight to Charlie!”
One foot landed on the trunk and she used it like a springboard, launching herself at Max. Reflexively he caught her and rolled to the floor. He took the brunt of the fall before pinning her under him.
The oven timer went off.
“My pie!”
A knee connected with his groin. Hard. Max felt pain shoot through his body as she shoved at his shoulders to get him off her. Deciding discretion was the better part of valor, he didn’t resist her efforts.
She jumped to her feet and hurried to the kitchen. Max levered himself to a seated position carefully.
“You fight dirty now,” he commented, wincing as he shifted his legs.
He couldn’t believe she’d kneed him in the balls for a pie. A pie!
“I’ve been raising your son,” she retorted. “That child keeps me on my toes.”
“You knee him in the groin?”
Max thought that unlikely, but, considering how the boy had moved, it was obvious he had some martial arts training. Sourly, Max hoped the boy could defend himself better than he had. Damn! She hadn’t been able to do that to him ten years ago! Moving slowly, he got to his feet. For someone so small and slender, she was strong.
“Hardly,” snorted Ginny, gently setting the pie on the counter. Shutting the oven door, she turned and her gaze fell on the preserve mixture. “Well, I’d say that is pretty much ruined,” was her sigh. With obvious disgruntlement, she looked at him. “I fight dirty because that’s what you deserve.”
“Ginny, we’re in this together…”
“No!” she insisted, slamming her hands, still in the oven mitts, on the counter. “No! I won’t go anywhere with you. I’ve got to think of Charlie first.” The energy seemed to melt from her and she held onto the counter to stay upright. “Oh, God, he hates me now,” she moaned. “Everything I’ve done to protect him and he hates me for it.”
He didn’t move. That was the crux of it all. From the instant she had realized she was pregnant with his son, Max could see that she had had only one purpose—keeping Charlie safe. And yet she had always known that there would be a time when the truth would come out. That the past—hers and his—would reach out and try to harm her child. She’d known this moment would come. Had been expecting it for years. And clearly dreading it. Because of his anger? Or Charlie’s reaction?
Seeing her distress, he knew it was more because of Charlie. He was a grown man. He didn’t like them, but he could sort of understand her reasons. What he knew of them. Because it was clear that Ginny was still hiding someth
ing from him.
Thinking it seemed to be a day for people to conspire to turn his world inside-out and upside-down, he wished for the right words. Her world had clearly been their son. And their past was going to reach out and touch Charlie. Emotion stirred in him. His son would not pay for what he and Ginny had done in the past!
Going to her, Max laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“I’ll go talk to him.”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “He doesn’t hate you. I’m the one who’s lied to him all his life,” she added miserably.
“He doesn’t hate you,” Max chided. “He’s angry and confused. It’s gotta be a helluva thing to suddenly realize…”
“That your mother lied about your father? About how you were conceived?” she drawled. Her chin dropped to her chest. “Why don’t you go talk to him? The two of you can gripe and moan about how women always deceive men and aren’t good for anything.”
Strong fingers caught her chin and forced her to look up.
“Get a few things straight,” he said sternly. “He doesn’t hate you. I don’t hate you. You are incredible at everything you do. And I was a fool for saying what I did that morning.”
He kissed her hard then headed up the stairs.
Down in the kitchen, her lips tingling from the hard possession of his lips, Ginny fisted her hands in the mitts. Her elbows on the counter, she rested her forehead on her hands.
This was the nightmare that had kept her awake at nights for a decade.
She had spent most of her life wanting to protect her country.
She’d followed orders without question until one little plastic strip had changed her life. In that instant, her priorities had been turned upside-down. Her family hadn’t understood. Ginny had been absolutely certain that what she was doing was the only course of action she could take. And now, everything was colliding.
Polaris. Had brought the man of her dreams into her life.
Max. The man of her dreams had turned the most incredible moment of her life into ashes that had clung in her mouth. Even as that moment had given her the one thing she’d needed to survive.
Charlie. Her son. Her life. And even if he didn’t hate her, Ginny knew he was angry. He had the right to be.
As did Max.
Max. Charlie.
And Polaris was back. After the team.
Terror swept through her as a cold premonition ran up her spine. Evil was back in her life. She’d been able to avoid it for ten years, keep it at a distance, and let it lurk in the background. Now it had come roaring back and threatened what was dearest to her. Charlie. Max.
Polaris could take them both from her.
“God, please don’t let me lose either of them,” she whispered. “Please.” Head bowed, tears slipped down her cheeks to fall on the counter.
Chapter Four
Halfway up the stairs, Max paused on the landing and rested a shoulder on the wall. He felt like the world had just been dropped on him. Yet, he realized with considerable surprise, the pain from the headache was lessening. Now was the time for it, he sighed.
Someone had lied to her. And he’d had no idea. While he’d been mentally damning her to hell, she’d been going through hell. He could see it in her eyes. He knew enough about the other agents to know that she would have gone through absolute misery before her transfer had gone through.
He took a deep breath, trying to pull his thoughts together. Her file. Why wasn’t Charlie mentioned? He remembered her mentioning a much older half-brother and cousins, but couldn’t recall any names. Why would Vince block it out? Vince had known Frank was sending Max to bring Ginny in. As she’d transferred immediately, everyone in Analysis would have seen her pregnant, would have known about Charlie. So why would Vince try to hide him from Max? Unless Vince was behind the deception? Or were both Frank and Vince involved?
There had to be more. And he would learn it all. Once Ginny and Charlie were safe.
Going the last few steps, Max hesitated outside the only door on the landing. There was a loft area that overlooked the main living area below. It had typical boy things—a few beanbag chairs, a TV, and what looked like a pile of video games that had been hastily stacked. There were a few books on the end table next to a denim-covered loveseat and next to the TV in the wall unit was a stereo system.
His son had a home here. Max recalled the warmth and love in Ginny’s gaze. Max knew how important it was to a boy to be looked at that way though it had taken a long time before he’d believed in it and valued it. Charlie had known since his birth that he was loved and cherished.
Palm flat on the door, Max closed his eyes. How the hell was he supposed to explain anything to a son he hadn’t known about until ten minutes ago? He didn’t know a damn thing about kids. But the heartache in Ginny’s eyes made him determined to try. He had to at least try to make things right with Charlie. For Ginny’s sake as well as his son’s.
Taking a deep breath he knocked. When there was no answer, he rapped on the door harder. Turning the knob, he wasn’t surprised to find it locked. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to enter.
“Charlie?” He paused. No response. “Charlie, you might be stubborn, but I’m older and have had a lot more practice. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is you open the door. The hard way is I break down the door. Either way I’m coming in so we can talk. Personally, I’d rather do it without your mother getting pissed at both of us.”
Max waited, silently counting. He had reached nine when he heard something stir, then a floorboard creak. The door opened a crack and Max looked down at the eyes so like his own.
“What makes you think she’d be pissed at me?” Charlie asked in a surly voice.
“She’d be pissed at me for breaking the door and pissed at you for not opening it.”
Sulkiness filled the boy’s eyes for a moment, before he nodded.
“Yeah, that’s about how she thinks,” the boy sighed. “And with her schedule messed up and not getting her list done, she’ll really be in a bad mood.” Charlie muttered before turning back into the room. “You had to come on baking day, didn’t you?”
“What?”
Max followed him into the room and found himself smiling. This was definitely a boy’s room. Navy comforter and curtains with two navy and black braided rugs centered the room. The walls were covered with his favorite baseball team’s paraphernalia and pictures of dogs, mostly larger breeds. One poster-sized picture dominated the wall over the bed—a large black Labrador with Charlie’s arms wrapped around his neck. Charlie was wearing an orange and black shirt and hat, while the dog sported an orange and black bandana around his neck. There were several smaller pictures of the two surrounding the large picture and Max could see Ginny in a few of them.
“Even on vacation Mom doesn’t know how to relax,” Charlie replied, climbing on the bed and sitting back against the wall. “She had a list of things to do today.” He shot Max a glare. “Bad enough you messed up her preserves, but at least you didn’t come this morning.”
“How’s that?”
“Cookies and bread were first,” Charlie told him solemnly, then grinned. “I would’ve been majorly ticked if you’d messed that up.”
“I’ll make sure not to interrupt baking days,” Max murmured, standing at the foot of the bed. It occurred to him that he was thinking about the future. A future with Ginny and Charlie? He did a gut check and couldn’t feel panic. Just a certain…rightness about that. He peered at the pictures. “Your dog?” Max asked, thinking he hadn’t seen any signs of an animal.
In the stillness that fell over the room, Max turned his head to where the boy sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Grief filled Charlie’s face. Uh-oh, Max thought. That didn’t look good.
“Del died a couple months ago. Cancer. Mom got him right after she bought the house, before I was born.” Tears filled his eyes and he bit his lower lip before it could tremble. “Mom and I took him to the
vet to put him down and…we buried him in the backyard.”
Max went to the window that faced the back of the house and lifted the curtain. Fully fenced, the backyard was large, over an acre, Max judged. Along the fence were flowers, rose bushes, and trees. The back half was covered by a large, well-tended garden. He could see bushes, more trees, and wide, orderly rows of plants. Along the front edge of the property, he’d seen a few oaks, as well as more lilac and rose bushes. A greenhouse was along the right fence and at the edge of the brick patio were a grill and long picnic table. And to the left, at a safe distance from the garden, was a batting cage. He could see the three of them doing a barbeque, with Charlie and his friends taking turns batting, playing catch, and a dog or two romping about. The three of them? Where was he getting these ideas? And he realized that his headache was gone. Completely. Not a twinge or flinch in his nerves. Ginny really had been the key. Charlie’s words came back to him.
A couple months ago. He remembered the date on the picture from the file Frank had shown him. Six weeks ago. Right after she’d lost a part of her life. That’s why there had been sadness in her eyes. Max felt insanely jealous of a dog. Because the dog had been in Ginny’s and Charlie’s lives when he hadn’t. The dog had been in Charlie’s life from the beginning. He had been important to them.
“Where?”
The bedsprings creaked and Charlie came to stand next to him.
“Under the willow.” The boy gestured to the large tree on the left just before the garden began. “Mom planted it a few days after I was born. Del and I spent lots of weekends there while Mom worked in her garden.”
“Has she always gardened?”
Charlie shrugged and returned to his bed across the room.
“There’s a picture of her harvesting the fall before she had me, so I guess so.”
Max smiled. For some reason, Ginny doing something like that while pregnant with his child pleased him immensely. It was a different side of her. He’d known her only as a skilled agent, even if she’d been a woman that he hadn’t wanted on the team. Until he’d wanted her with an ache in his groin every time he’d looked at her.