"What do you feel like doing today, angel?"
"Are you serious?" I laugh, watching as Max looks completely at home grabbing the milk from the fridge. "I've got absolutely shit loads of packing to do, remember?"
"What happened to the ‘I don't need to pack that much’ routine? Don't worry about it. Whatever you don't have when we get over there, we'll just buy new." He makes his way over to me and picks me up into those big strong arms. My legs instinctively wrap around him. "Plus, I like the thought of you in less clothing; you’re easier for me to get to."
After our day of fun and relaxation yesterday, I can't allow myself to get distracted by him and that glorious body. We fly out in the morning and I still need to say goodbye to Jen and George. I'm supposed to be meeting them at Joes around lunchtime, and no matter how much he tries to sway my plans, there is no way I am going to miss it.
"As much as I would love to stay here and play, lover boy, I really need to go and say goodbye to my nearest and dearest."
"I'm not one to stop a lovely lady from doing what she wants, but when it's my lady, I get selfish and want to keep her all for myself." What? So now I'm his lady? Damn, this man has a way with words, considering he hasn't got a romantic bone in his body. I just can't allow my brain to process the words as true. IfI do, I really don't think I will be able to piece myself back together after the heartbreak I will suffer.
"So, what are you going to do?" I ask, eager to change the subject.
"My packing is all done, so I suppose I will probably pop in on Mal and Daisy to say bye..."
"Bye?" I cut in. "Why would you be saying bye when they're flying out with us?"
"There's been a change of plans, sweetheart. Mal's going to stay here and keep his eye on that girl, Amelia is it? He wants to make sure she has the hang of things before he leaves, or to see if Todd wants to take on the current clients."
"Tim. It's Tim." I snap. He's not making any sense. "Why haven't I been told? Why is Mal staying behind? This is his fucking dream."
"Less of the language, sweetheart." He warns. "Yes, it's Mal's dream, but you have already drafted the designs and completed most of the work. Don't think Mal hasn't told me that this is more your project than his. Plus, it would be wrong if Mal was to get frisky with me on the plane."
I can't help but laugh at his attempts to put me at ease. "It would seem you have a valid point, Mr Wild. Yes, that would be very wrong on so many levels, Max." I reach up and give him a swift kiss as a silent thank you to how he makes me feel. I can't help but worry about Amelia though. Maybe I should have left the current projects with Tim rather than burden her with more stress. Mal’s a big guy, I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing.
As soon as Max has gone to say his goodbyes, I begin to get ready to say mine. I'm absolutely shocking at this kind of thing and I'm always the ugly crier, I can assure you it isn't a pretty sight. No sooner am I about to leave the house, when I realise Max has left his phone when it chimes to life beside me. I decide to answer it so that I can pass a message on. Normally I would never do such a thing, but he's a business man and it may be important.
"Max, baby. I can't wait to get you back." A shrill high pitched voice breathes breathlessly down the phone at me.
"Hi, erm... Max isn't here right now, but I can take a message?" I offer in my calmest voice, yet that's the farthest from how I feel. Adrenaline begins to pump in my body. I know we're not an item; it would be crazy to even think such a thing. We both said only a few days ago that we don't share, so who the hell is this calling him?
"Who is this and what are you doing with Max's phone?" If I thought she was high pitched before, there are no words for how wrong I was. I think all the dogs in London can hear her.
"He left his phone at mine; do you want me to pass a message on when I see him?" Shit. I'm speaking to his girlfriend, or even worse his wife. I knew it would be to fucking good to be true. What's worse is that I have just basically as good as told her that I have been shagging her husband. I'm saved from further interrogation as the line goes silent and disconnects.
Fun or no fun, all I ask, is for a little bit of honesty.
JESS
"He's got a fucking wife!" I say, practically hyperventilating. It's two in the afternoon and I'm already on my second glass of wine. To be honest though, I don't think I actually care. "After everything that I went through with Josh, there is no way that I would have gone there if I had known he was involved with someone.
"How do you know it was his wife? It could have been anyone." Jen soothes, looking to George for assistance in calming me down. "What did she actually say to you?"
"Does it matter? The damage is done. I'm nothing but a home wrecking slutbag." I throw my head in my hands as the guilt ripples through my body.
That poor woman.
I am willing to bet my life that I'm not the first and I most definitely won't be the last. What an animal. He clearly knows what I have been through, seeing how he said as much to Josh earlier this morning. "They're all the fucking same, why do they only think with their dicks?"
"You're not a slut, princess. God, I'd pay to see you try and be a slut. It'd be pretty entertaining, actually. Listen, there's probably a perfect explanation as to who this over friendly woman is." George says as he nudges elbows with me trying to make light of the situation. I'm so ashamed and embarrassed by my actions that all I can do is top up my glass... again.
"Why don't you just ask him?" I pause, mid sip and fix my eyes on Jen, my friend, the person who is supposed to have my back through everything. Obviously that rule fell out of her best friend handbook today.
"Are you for real?" My voice comes out slightly high pitched showing my shock. "What do you suppose I say Jen? Oh hey Max. So I know we have been currently rocking each other's sex lives, but I kind of accidentally spoke to your wife earlier? Or how about, when were you going to mention your wife and happy home? Neither sounds good to me Jen. You might not have a conscience, but I pissing do." I snap unintentionally at her and I know I have just slapped the chief of all low blows at her, but I'm so fucking hurt and angry that I don't really care what comes out of my mouth. "Next time you two advise me to have a bit of fun, remind me to buy a shit load of cats or a new vibrator or something.
"Oh princess, if it's meant to work out it will do. If she is his wife or girlfriend then he's a full on bell end and you have learnt the hard way to stay away, but if there's a reasonable explanation and he is, in actual fact single, then please god, stop holding back and allow yourself to feel again."
"I'm bloody going to miss you two." I choke out, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to break free.
I stay with Jen and George for as long as possible. Who knows how long I will be on the Gold Coast for. I might not make it back in one piece if Max's wife, girlfriend or whatever she is gets her hands on me. I will not be responsible for a break-up. No fucking way. I stop to wonder if Mike or whatever that bitch’s real name is, feels the same guilt that I am feeling right now. We say a teary goodbye and I tell them that I will send a sneaky picture of the wife in case I go missing. At least that way they will have a face to put to my attacker.
By the time I have made it home, I have made the decision that it stops. Right this second. There will be no calls, no texts, no nothing. Everything between us from this moment on has to be strictly professional. My heart aches at the thought of having to break all contact with Max, but I can't let this continue. As much as I try to prevent them, images of a perfectly flawless blonde crop into my mind. The thought of him bring intimate with someone else makes me feel physically sick. I'm just thankful that I have found out now, before we are over there and I end up being the shamed woman in front of a bunch of strangers.
Oh my god.
What if she pays him cute little visits to the development site? The prospect of having to bump into this woman from time to time fills me with dread and I can't stop the jealousy that begins to set in. Needing t
o clear my head, I decide to go for a run. I make quick dash to my bedroom to change into my workout clothes.
I don't know why I'm surprised to find Josh lurking around the corner. Stalking me seems to be his new favourite hobby.
"This is getting ridiculous Josh. I don't want to talk to you, I have nothing to say. Was I not clear enough this morning?" No matter what I do, I can't seem to get away from the drama that these men bring to my life. I think these cats maybe a good idea after all.
"All I am asking, is that you hear me out, you owe me that much."
"Owe?" I shout, cutting up him off. "I owe you fuck all, Josh. It's over, when are you going to get that into your head?"
"Fair enough. Listen, please. I know I messed up really royally, Jess. I was in a bad place, and I know it's not an excuse. Fucking nothing really excuses what I have done to you, to us."
"What's your point Josh?" I can feel myself getting angry. I don't want to hear all of this. I have already tortured myself with enough visuals of what happened to last me a life time, I really don't need a step by step recap.
"Give me another chance. I promise I will never let you down again. Please Jess. Remember how good we were?" Maybe if he had of said this to me last week I might have agreed that yes, we were good together. That's before Max came into my life and made me feel, showed me what affection and desire actually feels like.
"I think the best way to describe us was comfortable, Josh. Nothing more, nothing less. We fell into a rut where we stayed together for the convenience of it. It was what we knew, what we were content with and you opened my eyes to it. I don't want that Josh. I want to be smiling for a reason and not out of habit, or to be polite. I want to make the person that I am with happy because they make me happy. Do you understand, Josh? We may care about each other; we're just not in love anymore." It surprisingly feels good to get this all out after keeping it bottled in for so long. "What you did, was probably the shittiest thing you could have ever done to me, but it opened my eyes to the fact that our relationship had overrun its course a long time ago." I don't realise that my tears have fallen until I wipe my face. There not tears of sadness, but tears of the truth and acceptance finally breaking free. Josh walks away from me, this time without putting up a fight and for the first time in what feels like forever, I think I have finally made it clear that we are done.
MAX
"We're flying out in the morning." I say to Heath for the tenth time in as many minutes. "What the fuck are you doing that's taking up all of your attention man?"
"Sorry mate, it's my phone. It’s been playing up for a while. So, it will be good to have you back, hey?"
"I can't tell you how much I have been desperate to get in those waves. I'm telling you it feels like I have been away for much longer than a week." I swear as soon as I am back on my home turf and Jess is settled in, I'm heading out into the surf to de-stress. Then me and Jess are not moving for a few days. It will be our little hideaway, just the two of us, until the jet lag resides.
"Hey, how's Liss? She still got that bitchy attitude with me? She been staying out of trouble?" I'm not sure how much I want to know the answer to those questions. I know there will be some kind of mess that I'll have to clean up at some point.
"She's good. Keeping everyone on their toes, that's for sure."
"Yeah, that sounds about right. Thanks for keeping an eye out for her, I really appreciate it. I'll give you a call we get back, plus there's someone that I want you to meet."
"Shit man, that sounds a bit ominous. What kind of crap have you landed yourself in now?"
"Hey, it's nothing like that." I laugh. "My new work colleague." It sounds pretty weird when I refer to Jess as my colleague.
"Ah, your new employee for the development right?"
"No, Jess isn't an employee. She will have just as much a say in the development as me. She's very skilled at what she does and it's a pleasure to have her on board." I can tell Heath is taken aback from the silence down the line."
"Oooo..kay, whatever you want man. You're the boss. I'm slightly confused though. You've never brought anyone into the business as an equal to you before." Tell me about it, I think to myself. That's just the thing, she's not just your average someone - she's my perfect fucking angel.
I check in on Mal and Daisy before I head back to Luke's, after leaving Stanton's. As soon as I enter the house, Daisy grabs me into a big old squeeze, just like she used to when I was a kid. God, I have missed this woman. I feel pretty shitty that I haven't spent more time with her since I've been here. Hopefully I will be able to catch up with her properly when she comes over to Australia. Daisy is the only woman that I have ever trusted, really let into my life other than Mal. She was there for me whenever I needed her, no matter what, even when I was a complete bastard and threw all the love she gave me right back in her face. I'd like to say all hormonal teenagers do it, but I was pretty much a bastard all of the time. Sometimes I would do it purely to get a reaction out of her, just to make sure she still paid me attention. I guess a lot hasn't changed, I'm still a bastard - It's in my genes.
I glance at the time and notice it's just past dinner. My mind instantly goes to Jess as I wonder what she is doing and if she has managed to get everything ready for tomorrow. I contemplate calling her, but hold off as she's most likely still out with her friends. Should I text her just to check that she is ok? She frustrates the hell out of me. This isn't me. I don't chase after women, yet I can't stop thinking about her, needing to know she is okay and what she is doing. I decide to send her a quick text otherwise the thought of the unknown will drive me insane. I search my pockets a few times until I come to the conclusion that I must have left my phone at hers this morning, I didn't notice earlier as I called Heath from the office.
"Hey Mal, can I use your phone? I need to give Jess a quick call before we leave tomorrow."
"Sure, it's on the side. Daisy asked if you’re staying for dinner? You know how she likes to take care of you." Yes I definitely do, if I had stayed here any longer I would have turned into a fatty for sure. Daisy's food is amazing and it's hard to say no. Deciding to give Jess a call, I make my way outside before pressing down on the green icon. She answers on the first ring.
"Hey Mal, is everything okay?" Of course she thinks it's Mal, it's his phone I'm using.
"Hey, it's me, Max." Why do I suddenly feel about twelve years old asking a girl out? I'm nervous as fuck.
"Oh, hi. I thought it was Mal. What's up?" The tone in her voice is different. Something has happened and she sounds royally pissed right now.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, concern evident in my voice. Something is wrong. Maybe she is worried about going to a country that she doesn't know. Maybe she has had enough of me for a while and wants to stay with her friends; however that wasn't the impression I was getting this morning before I left.
"Everything is fine Max. I'm just tired. It's been a long day and I just want to go to bed. What did you want?"
"How are you getting to the airport tomorrow? I'll pick you up."
"It's fine Max. You don't need to do that; I can make my own way there. I'll see you in the morning." The line goes quiet and just like that she's gone. There's no fucking way I'll let her try and run away from me again. Things have been going great this weekend, so what's with the sudden change? This is why I don't bother with feelings or commitment. Women, they're a fucking head fuck.
I breathe out a sigh of despair before entering the house. If Mal sees me like this he'll know for sure something is wrong, and I don't feel like sitting here answering his questions. Right now I need to see Jess. Usually if a girl wanted to play hard to get then they would be playing for a long fucking time, because I sure as hell wouldn't bother with them again. Jess on the other hand, drives me fucking insane.
The more she pulls away, the more I want her in my life. Talk about fucked up.
I pull up outside Jess' house ten minutes later. At first it looks like she is asleep
as no lights seem to be on in the house. Then I notice the curtain move slightly in the living room. She obviously heard the engine. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was avoiding me. Anger and frustration simmer away and the thoughts as to why she is acting like this begin to take over my mind. Before I know it, I'm up the drive and hammering away on her door.
"JESS!" I shout. "I know you're in there." I wait and there is nothing. "I swear if you don't open this door, I'll kick it the fuck down." Still there is nothing, just silence consuming me on this quiet street. I've probably disturbed the neighbours already, but I don't give a shit. I'm about to hammer away at the door again, when I hear the click of the lock on the door, before it opens.
Fuck me. This woman never fails to knock the wind right out of me. I'd love nothing more than to feel her next to me right now.
"Why are you here? We have to be up early for the flight tomorrow?" She sighs, her hair a tumbling mass of golden waves floating down onto her shoulders, those perfect pick lips desperate to be kissed and that fucking body. All tight and perfect with every curve and edge that she has. It's hypnotic, she's fucking hypnotic. Yes. I am definitely a pussy whipped bastard when it comes to Jess Townsend.
Tension rolls off of her in waves. What the hell could have happened in the space of eight hours to get her back up? I step a little bit closer to her, but she pulls back quite quickly as if my touch would hurt her.
"Hey, what's happened?" I ask, a sudden need to care for her and make sure that she's okay fills me, stuns me and renders me fucking speechless.
"I'm just tired, I told you. Have you come for your phone?"
"Yes, I suppose so. You sounded off on the phone so I thought I would check on you." The honesty that rolls from my tongue is automatic and it shocks me a little.
"Well I'm fine. Do you not have something better that you should be doing with your time, Max?"
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