“Quit moaning.” I say to her. “If you weren’t so impatient, then we both could have been watching these now for the first time.”
“What was I supposed to do? A bunch of cheap knock off tests told me that I was going to be mum. How else am I expected to deal with the idea of spawning another me? Come on Jess, you would have done the fucking same, and you know it.”
“Don’t even think that you’re going be milking that for the next nine months, because I will actually leave you for good.”
“That’s fine; I’m used to you gallivanting off at the drop of your knickers anyway.”
“Hey, you cheeky bitch. That’s a bit below the belt, even for you. You’re the only one who casually drops your knickers not me.”
“Yes but I’m proud of it baby.” She laughs. “Oh hang on a sec, let me grab this.” She leans over to grab her phone. “Hey lover boy. You missing me already?” I can’t help but make gagging actions towards her. “Oh yeah I love the sound of that baby. You can strip me anytime. Surely you should know that you don’t even need to ask.”
“You’re such a dirty bitch.” I shout as she parades around the living room.
“Of course. I’ll speak to you later.”
“Quit looking at me like that. Don’t tell me you and muscles don’t have the odd bit of phone sex every now and again.”
“Erm, we haven’t actually. So come one then, what did Mr Lover, Lover want? I can tell that you’re bursting at the seams to tell me.”
“Oh, nothing important princess. I guess he just kind of makes me happy.”
“I can tell when you’re lying to me you know, but it’s okay because two can play that game.” It’s okay, because the next time she wants some gossip; she’s really going to have to work for it.
“Oh quite your moaning, woman.” Jen says as she throws herself back down beside me.
“Stick the tele back on then” Feeling ready to throw something at her, I manage to hold back and turn my attention back to the screen.“
“You’ve changed.”
“What me?” I ask, unsure what she means.
“Yes, you. Normally you’d be pestering me until I told you everything.”
“Piss off Jen. If you’re not going to tell me then you’re not going to tell me.” I keep my eyes trained on the tele, knowing full well that she will break soon enough. Why beg for it, when it can be handed to you on a shiny plate? I think to myself. She will tell me eventually, even if it kills her. She’s bloody shocking when it comes to keeping secrets
.
“What’s going to happen once you have finished on the development?” We’ve just finished all of our unwatched episodes of home and away when I turn to look at her quizzically.
“What do you mean?”
“Well you know… you and Max. How will you still see each other?”
“I honestly don’t know. He asked me to move in with him on a permanent basis.”
“Why the fuck am I only just hearing about this now?” She dramatically jumps up from the sofa with her eyes bulging out of their sockets. “Holy shit Jess. Are you going to say yes?”
“I’ve told him that I can’t just give up everything I have ever known to move in with him. I can’t just up and leave, Jen.
“Why the hell not?”
“Fucking hell. If you wanted to get rid of me so badly, you could have just said.” I stick my bottom lip out at her for added effect.
“Don’t be so bloody stupid, you silly mare. All I am saying is that you should give it a try. If it doesn’t work out, you’ve always got me and George to come back to.”
“My home is here, Jen. My work is here. Everything that I want, except Max is here. I’m not prepared to give it all up just for it to fail. I physically and emotionally can’t do it, Jen.”
“You won’t know unless you give it a try, princess.”
“Come on, this is me that we’re talking about. It’s always going to go tit’s up.” Does she forget that she has been with me for most of my life? She’s bloody witnessed every single fall that I’ve ever had, and none of them have been pretty. I won’t be able to survive a fall this big if she isn’t here beside me. Even then, I’m not completely sure I’ll get over it fully.
“I personally think you should go for it. Whatever the outcome, I’ll be here for you one hundred percent and you know this.”
“I know.” I mumble and glance at the clock. I’m surprised to see that it’s already past seven. I wonder where Max and Luke have got to. It was only past noon when they left earlier. Maybe they’ve both come to their senses and realised that me and Jen might be a bit too much to handle. “Did Luke say what time those two were coming back?”
“He didn’t say. I don’t think they’ll be much longer now. How about we crack open a bottle while we wait for those deliciously hot men of ours to return?” She doesn’t need to ask me twice and before long, we’re both settled back on the sofa, wine glass in hand waiting for our pizza to arrive.”
MAX
Luke turns up with his van right on time. I started to think that maybe he’d got lost or disappeared back to Jens without me. I run down the stairs to let him in, mainly to prevent the mass interrogation that he’ll face from Jess’ mum. Fortunately it seems that she’s took herself out for a while. Good fucking riddance I say, all I’ve heard from her today is “Why are you doing this? Why are you doing that?” It’s fucking draining as hell.
“What’s taken you so long?” I ask as he rushes through the door to get out of the down pour outside.
“There’s been some kind of accident I think. All the roads are backed up. I was at a standstill for an hour at one point, mate.”
“Well you’re here now. Did you get everything that I needed?” He nods at me and points to the van. “Fucking perfect. How about we get started then, hey?”
Suddenly realising the time, I quickly dig out my phone and give Jess a call to make sure she’s okay. I’ve not heard from her all day. As usual it takes her a while to answer. How far away from the phone does she need to be?
“Hi.” She smiles down the line.
“Hey, angel. Listen I’m sorry that I’ve ditched you all day, I’ve just had some stuff that needed sorting. I shouldn’t be too long now though.”
“Cool. I did wonder what had happened to you.” As she talks, I slowly look around me and hope that I haven’t done the wrong thing.
“I bet you’ve been having fun though?”
“Yep. I’m all caught up on my Home and Away now, Jen’s just fed and watered me and you can’t go wrong with a bit of gossip thrown in.” She sounds so happy to be back with her friends. The look on her face when she is with them is priceless and I can see why she would never want to leave them. This six monthly plan of Mal’s is looking more promising, now more than ever.
“Well I’m just finishing up here and then I’ll be coming to get you.”
“I can’t wait. See you soon.”
“What the fucks happened to you, man?” Luke walks into the room as I finish my call. “I never thought I would see the day when you’d be getting all soft over a woman. I need to record this shit so I can make sure it’s real.”
“Piss off.” I spit back at him and throw the rag his way. “What’s going down with you and Jen? You’re normally onto your next victim by now.”
“Ah mate I wish I could tell you, really I do, but I don’t know myself. What I do know is that she’s smoking hot and she’s fun to be around. There’s never a dull moment between us.”
“Just make sure you don’t fuck her over Luke. If you’re only being casual, make sure as hell that she’s fully aware of it before she becomes attached to you. You know me mate. Normally I wouldn’t get involved but it’s Jess’ best mate and if Jen gets hurt then Jess gets hurt too and I won’t be able to sit back and watch that shit. She means too much to me. “
“Chill out man. There’s no need to get all deep and shit on me, we’re both just having some
fun and enjoying each other’s company. Why throw in some added pressure when you don’t need to? Plus, you know I’m not the type of guy to fuck her over. One thing about me, is that I’m always upfront. You of all people should know that.”
Jess
One bottle has turned into three by the time Max and Luke have finally arrived back to Jen’s. We’re currently in the middle of a game of monopoly and shit is getting pretty heated between me and Jen, because I am winning her hands down and she doesn’t like it one little bit.
“So this is what girls really get up to when they’re left alone.” Max says as he crouches down beside me. “You’ve not seen anything until you’ve witnessed one of us officially lose. It’s not a pretty sight.”
“It’s true. I’m nothing but a sore loser.” I giggle while looking at Max sat beside me. “I kind of missed you while you were gone.” I whisper to him.
“I missed you too, angel. Any time away from you is too long, but I’m here now. I’ll always be here, no matter what.” He leans in and kisses the top of my head and I let out a sigh of contentment. “Just let me know when you want to go home angel.”
All the lights are off when we pull up outside my house. “Guess my mum must have gone to bed early again.”
“I meant to say, I called before and she wasn’t here.”
“Shit. I told her to stay here so I could keep an eye on her. I knew she’d bloody do this eventually.” She couldn’t even last a couple of days could she?
“Maybe she’s popped in to see one of her friends or something. I’m sure she’s old enough to look after herself, Jess.”
To someone who doesn’t know my mum or her history, I can see why they would think I am overreacting, but I know her and I know this is the start of another spiral.
“She hasn’t got any friends Max, at least not if you don’t count the bottle. She’s not here by choice, she’s here because she had nowhere else to go. Looks like she’s just blown that final chance with me anyway.” I pull my keys out of my bag, suddenly unsure of what I am supposed to do now.
“I’ll have a drive around and see if I can see her about. “
“Thank you Max. Are you sure you don’t mind?” He shakes his head at me and I lean over to thank him with a kiss.
“I don’t know what I have done to deserve you, but whatever it is, I’m grateful.” I’m pulled in tighter into his embrace and the feel of his warm hard body sends tingles of pleasure to course through my body.
“It’s me that doesn’t deserve you, angel. Always remember that.”
I reluctantly pull myself away from him and unfasten my seatbelt. “You might be out there looking for her, for some time. I don’t even know if she’s familiar with the places around here to be honest, and she doesn’t even have a phone.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll try and find her. You head inside and get warm, if she turns up while I’m out just call me okay?”
I wait until Max drives off before opening my door. I’m going to fucking strangle that so called mother of mine. I told her I wasn’t going to put up with any of this funny business and what does she do? She drives me fucking crazy.
As I make my way through the house, I think how dramatically my life has changed for the better since I caught Josh doing the dirty on me. It’s crazy how much my life has taken a huge turn for the better and every now and then it completely blows me away. I’ve seen so many beautiful places in a few short weeks, that only people get to dream of. I wander into the kitchen and stop dead as I see my mum slumped over the side of the sofa out of the corner of my eye. I look next to her and see an empty bottle of vodka with a few pills lying on the table.
“Oh fuck.” I scream. “Mum, mum can you hear me?” Oh shit, no. What has she done? I try to shake her gently but I get no response from her. “Mum, fucking answer me.” Finally my brain registers that I need to get help. Grabbing the phone from the side I try to call emergency services, but as my hands are too clammy, the phone falls to the floor. When I eventually get a grip on the goddamn thing, I wait for someone to help me.
“I need an ambulance now. It’s my mum, she’s took an overdose.” The words barely get passed the lump that has formed in my throat. I do my best to answer the questions that the operator asks me, but I struggle to concentrate as I see my mum lying before me all limp and lifeless. “Yes, she’s breathing but barely. No, she’s not responding to me at all. I need someone to get here as soon as they can before it’s too late.”
The ambulance turns up within five minutes of me ending the call and my mum is still unconscious. She seemed perfectly fine when I left her this morning. We even managed to have a proper conversation, something that we haven’t done in a long time. Why would she do something like this? I’ll always be the first to admit that we rarely see eye to eye, but surely she could have tried to talk to me before doing something so bloody stupid?
“Miss Townsend we need to get your mother to hospital.”
“I’m coming with you.” There is no way that I am leaving her side until I know that she is going to be alright.
On the way up to the hospital it suddenly dawns on me that Max is still out there somewhere looking for her.
“Max it’s me. “ I stutter through my tears. No matter what I do or how hard I try to stop them, they continue to fall.
“What’s happened?” he asks, his voice urgent down the line.
“It’s… it’s my mum. She was in the house when I got in.”
“Where are you? I can hear sirens.”
“We’re in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Max I’m scared.” I whimper. I can’t lose her.
“Which one? I’m coming to you.” I have to think for a moment unsure of which one is closest.
“The University college hospital.” I reply and all of a sudden the line goes flat.
No sooner have we pulled up outside the hospital and the back doors swing open. It all feels like everything is happening in slow motion as my mum is wheeled away from the ambulance and rushed through the doors to the hospital. I’m told to wait in the waiting room and I have no idea where they are taking her, or how long they will be. All I can do is wait.
“Please be okay, please be okay.” is all that runs through my head and I pray that the more I say it, then the more likely someone will hear it and answer me. I don’t even know how long she was lay there for. I dread to think how much worse it could have been if I had have stayed at Jens much longer. What if I went with Max to look for her? We could have been gone for hours trying to track her down. Just when everything in my life was righting itself, again in the blink of an eye something happens to make it all come crashing down again.
“Jess.” I hear my name being called out in the distance and I slowly lift my head up and turn in that direction. Max comes rushing to my side and takes my tear stained face into his hands.
“Hey, shhh. Please don’t cry, angel.”
“What am I going to do? I could have stopped this from happening.” I whimper into his chest as he holds me close. “This is all my fault. She tried to take her own life for fucks sake. How did I not see this coming?”
MAX
“Has anyone been to tell you what’s happening? You’ve been sat here for ages.” She shakes her head against my chest unable to form words through her pain. I feel her shudder beneath me and there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it, apart from hold her for as long as she will allow me to do so.
This is absolute bollocks. Why has she been sat out here on her own with no one telling her what’s happening? “I’m going to see what I can find out. Will you be okay here for a moment? I stand and lean down to place a kiss on her head before I set off to reception.
“Excuse me. Could you please tell me if there has been an update on Diana Townsend yet?”
“And you are?” The snotty brunette before me asks, while looking down her nose at me. Seriously in a place like this, is it that fucking hard to use some manners?
“I’m her son-in-law and I’d like an update.” I snap but to be honest, I’m beyond pissed off right now.
“The doctors are with her at the moment. As soon as they have an update, they will be out to let you know. “
“Thank you.” I say through gritted teeth. I fucking hate not being able to do anything. Jess is sat here absolutely heartbroken and there’s nothing that I can do to erase that pain for her, and to make it worse I fucking hate sitting around in hopsitals, fear gripping you every time a door swings open knowing that it could be bad news that waits for you.
“Here you go.” I say to Jess as I pass her a plastic cup filled with cheap and bitter coffee and I get the tiniest smile from her.
“Thank you.” She sips at silently for a while and then says, “I should have put my foot down more with her. Maybe I should have demanded that she needed to see someone the other day when I realised that her drinking was getting out of control.”
“Jess, baby. There is no way you could have predicted that this was going to happen. Don’t you dare start blaming yourself because that will just make me angry. She’ll be fine, just you wait and see.” I hate myself instantly as soon as those words leave my lips. I have no right promising her something that I have absolutely no control over. I’ll do anything I can to remove that heartbroken look from her face and to ease her pain away.
“Ms Townsend.” A tall doctor approaches us and I’d say he was mid-forties at the most. As he stands before us he removes his glasses and looks at her with a stern expression. Oh shit, this doesn’t look good at all. “Your mother is very lucky to be alive. I’d say had you found her no more than thirty to forty five minutes later; there is an excessively high chance that things could have taken a severe turn for the worst.”
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