“Alistair,” I said, “you don’t think your dad would—”
“I hope not,” Alistair replied. “I mean, I seriously hope not.”
We both had a feeling of dread. Had the slime-mold monster slithered into the sewer to kidnap the one pet Alistair’s dad hates more than any other pet in the entire world—a hagfish called Shirley?
SPLASH! The monster sprung from the cement wall into the rising sewer water, then headed right for Iggy and Shirley! The terrified pets still trapped on the monster’s slimy back howled and whined at the black water surrounding them.
“GET OUT OF THERE, IGGY!” Alistair, Dottie, and I shouted. “HURRY!”
Iggy tried to scurry out of the water and back up the wall, but the monster was faster. It grabbed one of Iggy’s bug legs!
Iggy fought back, biting and pinching the monster!
But the monster hardly noticed Iggy’s stinging attack. Instead, he stretched a slime-mold hand toward Iggy and Shirley and then squeezed the two of them together in a tight fist.
It was when the monster tried to stuff Iggy and Shirley into one of its slime-mold cages that he got the surprise of his life: hagfish slime!
“YAY FOR SHIRLEY!” Alistair, Dottie, and I cheered. “Hooray for hagfish slime!”
“That’s the key, Iggy!” Alistair shouted, “This monster can’t handle hagfish slime; it’s your most powerful weapon! Now use the hagfish slime to free the other animals!”
“OKAY, AWISTAIR!”
Hanging on to Shirley with his water-bug pincers, Iggy used Shirley’s hagfish slime to loosen the sticky animal traps and pull all of the dogs, cats, guinea pigs, rabbits, and even squirrels free from their slime-mold cages.
“Iggy,” Alistair said, “we have to get out of here before the pipes fill with water.”
I saw what Alistair meant: The water had almost reached the landing where we stood.
“You have to use your super-strength to help us get out of here fast, Iggy!” Alistair said.
“OKAY, AWISTAIR!”
I doubted Iggy’s strength would help us get out of the storm pipe, but I was wrong.
Now coated with hagfish slime and too slippery to stick to anything it touched, the slime-mold monster was like a helpless lump of dough in Iggy’s hands. Iggy put his super-strength to work. He squished, punched, and squeezed the slime-mold monster into something completely new: a monster waterslide that sent everyone on a wild ride through the storm pipe!
We all slipped and slid all the way through the storm-water pipe and back into the stream!
Everyone except Iggy and Dottie thought the “pet-party slide” was terrifying.
Once we were all safely outside the storm-water pipe, Alistair found an old bucket to carry Shirley and filled it with water.
The exhausted slime-mold monster now lay on the ground like a giant puddle as dazed animals sniffed around the edges of the stream and licked bits of mud from their matted fur.
“Now what?” I asked Alistair.
Before he could answer, a familiar bright light surrounded Alistair, Iggy, Dottie, me, Alistair’s monster-dad, and Shirley.
I felt a tickle under my skin and then the weightless feeling that meant we were about to get transported into outer space.
ALISTAIR, Iggy, Dottie, and I were on board the Spaceship Bumblepod. Alistair’s bucket containing Shirley sat next to him. Alistair’s dad was also there, and we were relieved to see that he was back in his human disguise again. I guessed Commander Stickyfoot and Miss Bubbles had used their Blaronite technology to reverse the effects of the “insta-monster” ray from Alistair’s watch.
“You’ve made some huge mistakes, Alistair,” Commander Stickyfoot began.
“I know,” Alistair said.
“But—” Commander Stickyfoot continued, “every once in a blue frackenpoy, the benefits of a particular mistake outweigh its drawbacks.”
Alistair looked up, surprised.
Alistair’s dad also looked surprised, but he was also angry. “With all due respect, Commander Stickyfoot,” he said, “I see zero benefits to Alistair’s mistakes.”
Alistair hung his head and looked down at the table.
Mr. Stickyfoot and Miss Bubbles whispered something to each other.
“Alistair’s dad,” Miss Bubbles began, “since you’ve been in monster form during the past few hours, you might not be aware of a crisis that happened here on the Bumblepod today.”
“What crisis?” Now Alistair and his dad both looked surprised.
“Following Alistair’s last visit aboard the Bumblepod, Miss Bubbles took an interest in this Earth species called the hagfish and began secretly studying it during her spare time.”
“She did?!” Alistair was shocked.
“And a good thing she did, too,” Commander Stickyfoot continued, “because just a few hours ago, the Bumblepod was caught in an unexpected meteor shower that damaged our most important equipment. At first, we thought the damage to our controls couldn’t be repaired without returning to Planet Blaron and abandoning our Earth surveillance mission. But then Miss Bubbles had a unusual idea.”
We all looked at Miss Bubbles, wondering what this “unusual idea” was.
“Hagfish slime!” Miss Bubbles shouted.
“Hagfish slime?!” Alistair’s dad looked disgusted.
“Yes!” Miss Bubbles continued. “Because hagfish slime is one of the strongest natural fibers in the universe, it made the perfect material for our repairs to the Bumblepod!”
“So,” Alistair said, glancing sideways at his dad, “you’re saying that having a pet hagfish turned out to be a good thing?”
“It turned out to be a great thing,” Commander Stickyfoot replied. “In fact, hagfish slime is one of the most useful resources we’ve encountered through your Earth mission.”
Alistair grinned at his dad.
“And Alistair,” Commander Stickyfoot added, “to honor your contribution to the Blaronite mission, we have summoned you here today to give you a special prize.”
“AWISTAIR GETTING A PRIZE?” Iggy shouted. “I WANTS A PRIZE, TOO!!”
“Shush, Iggy,” I said.
Miss Bubbles turned and removed something from a box. We all craned our necks to see Alistair’s prize.
Alistair looked thrilled as Miss Bubbles placed the prize on his head.
Iggy, Dottie, and I couldn’t believe it. A crown made of broccoli was pretty much the worst prize we had ever seen. I felt terrible for Alistair, but he seemed pretty happy.
I raised my hand. “Um, does this mean Alistair gets to stay on planet Earth?”
“Under a few conditions,” Mr. Stickyfoot said.
“Don’t tell me,” Alistair said. “No pets. Right?”
“It’s actually homework for you and your dad, Alistair,” Commander Stickyfoot said.
Alistair’s dad groaned. He reminded me of the kids in Mr. Binns’s class when Mr. Binns tells us we have a new book report due.
Alistair didn’t look too thrilled about the “homework” idea either.
But at least Alistair and his dad will still be on planet Earth. I felt a huge sense of relief, just knowing that my best friend would be around.
AFTER ALISTAIR received his award from Commander Stickyfoot, he spent several days taking care of Shirley in her aquarium. During this time, Alistair says he was able to “listen” to his pet and better understand what she needed.
“She was telling me she missed the ocean,” he said. “She was telling me she missed a life of adventures and gnawing on dead whales on the ocean floor.”
So once Shirley was strong enough, Alistair took her back to the ocean and set her free.
“It’s funny,” Alistair said after releasing Shirley into the water, “Shirley is gone, but I don’t feel the terribl
e pet sadness I had when she was lost in the sewer.”
“Maybe that’s because you know she’s happy now,” I said. “Instead of losing her, you can feel happy that you rescued her and set her free.”
And in case you’re wondering about that “homework” for Alistair and his dad, here’s what it is:
Once a week, Alistair and his dad have to conduct what Alistair calls “a very uncomfortable experiment”—the Earth tradition known as “father-son playtime.”
Alistair told me that their homework started going better after his dad figured out that his human disguise makes him really uncomfortable.
Lately, the two of them have a lot more fun when they play outside in Alistair’s backyard where Alistair’s dad is free to just be his baggy Blaronite self.
It’s true that when Alistair’s dad isn’t wearing his human disguise, he looks a little freaky. But he can do so many cool things!
In fact, Alistair’s dad is so much happier these days, he might even let Alistair get a new pet!
“But this time I’ll look for a more traditional Earth pet that doesn’t mind living in captivity,” Alistair said. “It has to be something cute, of course—maybe a tarantula named Shirley.”
I told Alistair that after having a hagfish for a pet, a tarantula sounded like a great idea.
I want to thank the wonderful publishing team at Penguin for their hard work on Iggy Loomis and also for their friendship and the opportunities to develop as a writer and to connect with so many readers and educators! In particular I appreciate all the fabulous insights from Lucia Monfried, which helped make Iggy and his adventures come to life. Many thanks also to Lauri Hornik, Stacey Friedberg, Rosanne Lauer, Jason Henry, and Doug Stewart for countless contributions to this book as well as other projects for young readers. Finally, thank you to my family for so much inspiration, for making me laugh, and for always being my favorite readers.
Iggy Loomis, A Hagfish Called Shirley Page 7