by A. E. Murphy
Am I? “I don’t think okay quite covers it.”
His laugh is quiet and it makes his body shake. This time I shudder and tense at the peculiar feeling it triggers where we’re still connected. As I tilt my head back, he presses his lips to mine and rubs his nose along my cheekbone. “What time do you have to be at Hayley’s?”
My body goes solid when I realise he might just want me to leave now.
“I just don’t want you to get in trouble.”
I relax slightly but the question still lingers; what now?
He rolls onto me, sensing the panic thrumming through me. “How about we have a shower, eat and work things out from there?”
“Okay.” That actually sounds like a good plan.
“Come on.” He grins and climbs out of bed, pulling on his boxers. Taking the robe that’s hung loosely on the back of the door, he wraps me in it and lifts me from the bed, cradling me against his chest.
I’ve never been carried. I’ve never desired to be carried, but there’s something sweet about this that would make even the toughest heart swoon.
He rests me on the closed toilet and leans into the shower. His hands press at the buttons before the water begins to flow over his shoulder and arm.
“I’m not sure how we’re going to eat,” I say as he holds out his hand for me to take.
I nervously slide the robe from my body, letting it drop to the floor at my ankles. My arm crosses across my breasts as my other goes to cover my lower region.
“Don’t,” he says, pulling my hands away as he kicks off his boxers and steps backwards into the small shower. “You’re beautiful.”
This boosts my confidence, though only slightly. I feel better once the hot water is covering us both. It does nothing to hide me, but I feel better protected and I’m no longer cold. “You said eat, but there’s nothing in your cupboards.”
He grins and pulls me into his body so our fronts are connected from knee to chest. “We’ll figure it out.”
As his soapy hands roam over my body, rubbing and caressing all of my aches away, I can’t help but wonder if I am in fact dreaming.
I just had sex with my teacher and I don’t know how to deal with that. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but whatever happens, I know I’ll never regret this.
I fill my own hands with his shower gel and rub them together until they form spicy scented bubbles that cover my hands. If this is the last time I’m ever going to get the chance to touch him, then I’m not wasting it. Sensing my thoughts and determination, he pulls back and allows me my last chance. As I massage and rub every inch or his chest, neck, abdomen, arms and back, he kisses my lips softly and lets out a long sigh.
I let out my own and wrap my arms around him, loving the feel of his fingers in my hair as they detangle the ends.
“Wait here.” He releases me and climbs out of the shower as I switch it off.
He races to the dryer totally naked, allowing me one last perusal of his beautiful, dripping wet body. I shiver as I wait. He returns with a towel around his waist and one in hand, which he wraps around me, and then pulls his robe onto my shoulders, fastening it at the front.
“What do you fancy?” He pulls open the cupboards, wincing at the emptiness of them. “Take out?”
“How do you stay so… fit?” I look him up and down. His body is toned and muscular, with no more than an ounce of padding to soften him. “When you eat so much takeout?”
He grins wickedly. “I skip lunch and breakfast a lot and mostly have dinner at my parent’s. Random weekly gym sessions help. I’m not as vigorous with it all as I was when I was in Cambridge.”
“You were a health freak?”
He looks sheepish. I wish I had a camera. “I took care of myself.”
“You were a health freak,” I snigger and run my finger over a menu after he slides it to me across the breakfast bar. “I don’t mind what we eat.” I’m not feeling too hungry.
“I could go out and get something?” He suggests, looking at me with concern in his eyes. “You should eat.”
“No, stay.” I blurt a little too frantically. “I just, I mean, umm…” Bollocks.
Smiling, he picks up his phone and walks around the bar until he’s standing beside me. He orders random items from the menu, lifting me onto the bar with his free arm. My body heats when he nudges my legs open and stands between them.
“Half an hour?” He asks into the speaker and waits for a response before hanging up. “Half an hour.”
“I heard.” I gulp when he leans in and takes my lower lip between his teeth. My eyes flutter shut.
“We have half an hour.” He repeats, his mouth moving to my neck.
“Yeah.”
“That’s not enough time.”
Time. My eyes snap open. “What happens now?”
Leaning back, he hooks his hands around my knees and pulls me to the edge. “Let’s just enjoy the now. Let’s just enjoy this.”
I knew it was inevitable, but saying it out loud only solidifies it, making it so much worse. “We’re never doing this again are we?”
He lets out a deep sigh and nuzzles my neck. “We can’t. I could lose my job and your reputation would be ruined.” I know he’s right and I hate it. “So let’s just enjoy each other until we can’t anymore.”
“Okay,” I agree, arching my back when he flips open my robe, pulls down the top of my towel and sucks my nipple into his mouth. “Oh… God.”
I thought I knew pleasure before. I thought I had all of the answers and knew my body. I was wrong. I discover just how wrong I was when his mouth drifts down my body, kissing, suckling and nibbling as he goes.
I gasp when he pulls my towel and robe away and pushes me gently back onto the cold counter top. I want to curse; it’s fucking freezing. His mouth soon takes my mind off that, though, and the feel of his fingers between my legs makes me forget about everything.
He sits on the stool and his lips trail moist kisses along my inner thigh. I want to giggle and push him away. I want to moan and force his head between my legs. I want to escape the millions of sensations crawling over and under my skin. It’s too much. It’s not enough.
I choke out a moan, along with a series of other noises I can’t stop myself from making.
He teases me relentlessly, getting closer and closer to my core before pulling away and working on my other leg, my hips, my midriff, my hands. I want to cry and scream at him to make it stop. I’ve never felt so sensual and frustrated at the same time.
And then I feel his tongue there, licking, sucking and probing as his finger enters me, dipping and stroking the entrance of my core.
“Isaac,” I cry out before I can stop myself. “Please.”
I feel his smile against me and want to watch what he’s doing to me, but my body can’t handle it. I arch my back and shut my eyes as wave after wave of pleasure vibrates through me. He was right. Half an hour just isn’t long enough. I never, ever want this to end.
Chapter Nineteen
Isaac
We sit on the floor on a thin blanket, facing each other, food spread out around us. I stare at the red headed female in nothing but my lucky shirt. Her legs are crossed and her smiling eyes are on me.
“Favourite movie?” She asks, popping a piece of bread into her mouth.
“Gladiator.”
“Typical.”
“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” I chuckle, swallowing a mouthful of rice. She shrugs and waits for me to ask her something. “Favourite song?”
“Depends on the day and my mood. Yours?”
I grin, yet another thing we have in common. “Me too. Though today it’s Sex on Fire by Kaiser Chiefs.” I feel the balled up napkin hit me in the head before I see it.
“That’s not even funny.”
“Yet you’re laughing.”
“Because of how corny that was and I know corny; I’m surrounded by eighteen year old boys!” We both fall silent at that, both of
us sad at the way this has to end. If she weren’t my student, if she were just a few years older… I could see myself dating her. I could see myself being with her for longer than just a night.
It’s typical. I go through life sleeping with women only one time, or at most a handful of times, and never form a connection. And then I sleep with the only person I’ve ever connected with and felt like this about and I only get one night. This is Karma teaching me a lesson.
“I’m almost twelve years older than you.” I answer the question that I know she’s asking in her mind.
“Age is nothing but a space in time,” she whispers and smiles softly at me. “Would you like me to leave?”
No. “It’s probably best if you do.” Her face falls at my words. “But I don’t want you to, not yet.”
“Me neither.” She chews on a final bite of food before standing and gathering the tubs.
“Leave them…”
“So they’ll still be here a year later? I don’t think so.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” I grumble, because it really wasn’t.
“There was mould moulding mould.”
Okay, maybe it was that bad. “Fine…” I help her gather the tubs and place them in the fridge before taking her hand and pulling her back to the bedroom. “Have a nap with me?”
We climb into bed and I pull her into my chest, making sure to tuck the blanket over the both of us. She sighs and buries her face in my neck as I pull her leg over my waist and roll onto my back, keeping her pinned against me with my arms.
“You can trust me,” she whispers sleepily.
“Huh?”
“I won’t tell anybody.”
That thought never even entered my mind. “I know. You can trust me too. This isn’t something I’ve done before.”
She nods against my neck. “Good.”
I smile and kiss her forehead, inhaling her sweet scent mixed with my shower gel as I do.
When I wake to the sound of my alarm blaring, I immediately notice the sun spilling through the tiny gap in the curtains. My arm reaches out, looking for a warm body, but all I find is an empty bed.
She left before I awoke.
A pang of disappointment kicks me in the chest, but I push it away and climb out of bed. I have to work.
Eloise
“Was it Garrett?” Hayley asks excitedly as I hand in a final application at a phone store in the town centre. “Why won’t you tell me? Do you have any idea how much trouble I went to, lying to my mum, saying you’d decided to stay home and then…”
“Intercepting your mum’s phone and sabotaging it, just in case my dad decided to call.” I throw her a look. “And remind me… how many times have I done that for you?”
“Details,” she cries, startling the people around us. “Please tell me who it was and, if you won’t tell me who it was, then tell me how good it was.”
I roll my eyes, but can’t stop the smile that lights up my face.
“That good, huh?” She pinches my cheeks with her hands. “I’m so fucking jealous. Give me details!”
I check my watch. “We need to get to class.” I wonder how Isaac will react when he sees me. I wonder if he’ll react at all. There’s something strangely exciting and thrilling about all of this.
“You can tell me on the way. Please? I share everything with you.”
I laugh loudly and slap her arm. “Against my will!”
“Who cares? I still share.”
“Okay, it was sexy.”
“Yeah? Go on!”
“Passionate… hot… exciting.” I smile dreamily before hitting her with a stern look. “And none of your fucking business.”
“You’re such a bitch.”
I stick my tongue out at her and pull her away from the crowds. “We really do need to get to class.”
“Wait.” she stops and wags her eyebrows at me. “Is he in our class?”
Eye roll. “No, Hayley. He isn’t in our class. Will you shut up about it now?”
“Fine, fine. But I’m grilling you about it later.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Didn’t you get the teaching assistant job?”
“Unfortunately not. Hence the fact you’ve been helping me look for a job all morning.”
She blinks, her eyes rounding with wonder. “Is that what we were doing?”
“Oh my god, I swear your mum dropped you as a baby.”
“She did. What’s that got to do with anything?” She’s serious too.
Holy fuck. “Remind me to never have a baby with you.”
“I don’t have the right equipment anyway.” She starts thrusting her groin into my hips, her eyes clenched shut and her teeth biting into her lower lip.
I place my hand over her face and shove her away, ignoring her cackle as she flies backwards and collides with a rather handsome man. Dark hair, dark eyes, tall and with a seemingly large chest… yep, Hayley’s type. Oh dear.
“What the hell?” He snaps, shocked that there’s now a happy looking female peeling herself out of his arms.
“Well hello.” Hayley grins brightly at the man, who still looks majorly confused.
“Come on.” I grab my friend by her collar. “Sorry, Sir.”
“Sir?” He grumbles. “I’m twenty three!”
“Are you single?” Hayley screeches as I pull her around the corner.
I skip through the school, feeling happier and lighter than I’ve felt in a really long time. The afterglow of sex is so fucking strong. I love it.
I start to feel nervous the closer I get to class, but at least Hayley is no longer obsessing about my night out. She is now obsessing over her apparent future husband, who I ripped her away from. She’s so dramatic.
We enter the classroom and my eyes immediately connect with Isaac’s. He smiles politely and nods equally as politely, as he does to the rest of the students.
This isn’t so bad. I thought it would be awkward, but instead I just feel lucky.
I got him for an entire night. If Shannon knew, which she never will, she’d be so fucking jealous.
I take my seat and pull out my books. Hayley does the same, still talking about the guy she collided with, until Wesley finally enters the classroom.
I listen intently but keep one eye on Isaac at all times. I’m disappointed when he doesn’t look my way, but I understand. He’s still my teacher. Even though we are consenting adults, it’s still illegal. It’s just hard to believe that only twelve hours ago he was wrapped around me, breathing softly in his sleep.
The thought makes me press my thighs together and, even though I’m a little sore, it doesn’t stop me from aching for more of everything he did to me last night.
“So we have some new text books. Yes, they’re yours for the remainder of the year and if you don’t hand them in when asked, you will be charged.” Isaac announces and starts handing them out individually, something he’s never done before. He usually gives them to the first desk and instructs us to take one and pass them down.
It’s not until he gets to me that I realise why he’s done this. A note peeks out from between the first two pages of the book I receive. He heads back to his desk as I grasp the note tightly in my fist, my heart hammering in my chest.
He starts the lesson, but I’m not paying attention. I’m too busy looking for the perfect opportunity to read the note. I place it back between the correct pages and read his scribble quickly before shoving it into my bag.
‘See me after class.’
When I feel his eyes on me I nod, my heart beating faster. I wonder what he wants to say. My mind is conflicted. Part of me hopes he wants whatever we did to continue and the other part of me knows that he’s just making sure I haven’t said anything.
I bet he’s scared, wondering when he’ll be pulled out of class and barred from teaching.
I bet he doesn’t think I’m worth the hassle. I wouldn’t blame him. I’m a stupid eighteen year old girl with zero knowledge of
the world. Why the hell would he want to continue anything with me?
“You look really pale,” Hayley says, placing the back of her hand against my forehead. “You don’t have a temperature.”
“I’m fine, Geek.” Slapping her hand away, I return to my work, wondering whether or not I should let myself fail so I get lunchtimes with Isaac again.
It seems a bit extreme, but I can’t say that I won’t give it deep consideration.
“I’m not feeling the love, Bitch.”
“Good,” I retort, shoving her with my elbow. “Because I’m not giving you any.”
“Girls,” Isaac snaps, levelling us both with a stare that makes us instantly bow our heads over our work and giggle silently.
When the bell rings I tell Hayley that I need to talk to Mr Price about Judith and I’ll catch her up, or see her over the weekend. As usual she believes me and leaves to walk with Wesley.
The second the classroom empties, Isaac turns to me, his eyes sparkling with a hidden emotion I can’t decipher. It looks almost feral, yet is masked by unease and concern.
He double checks the room and the hall before motioning for me to take a seat at the front. I pull myself up on Shannon’s desk, a secret ‘fuck you’ to her that she’ll never know about.
“So,” he starts and clears his throat. He sits on his desk so his eyes are level with mine and chews on the inside of his cheek. I do the same. This is actually kind of awkward. “Are you feeling okay?”
I nod.
“No, umm… Is there anything you want to talk about?”
Can we do it again? “No, I’m fine.”
His fingers tap against the underside of the desk after curling around the edge. “Well good then. So, I guess we’re okay?”
My lips twitch. “I guess we are. Is there anything you wanted to talk about?”
He shakes his head, his eyes now on my lips. “Nope. As long as you’re okay, then I am too. I was just worried about how you felt about what happened.”
I have no words to express how I felt. “We fucked. We had a great night.” I say quietly, ignoring how his pupils dilate and his eyes darken. “It was amazing, but… I get the situation, Isaac. It was stupid and there’s too much at stake for it to ever happen again.”