by A. E. Murphy
Eloise: Thank you for a wonderful time. I’ll never forget.
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and his face remains passive as he reads the message. His eyes come to mine and his lips thin, but he doesn’t respond.
I still don’t know what happened with his dad, but the fact I was welcomed to see Judith yesterday, without a lecture or any kind of guidance from the old man, probably means he believed that whatever Isaac told him was the truth. We had a lucky escape.
I link arms with Hayley and leave the classroom, feeling lighter than I did when I came in. Now I am glad I chose to work after school. At least now I’ll be too busy to think about any of this.
I’ve been the luckiest girl in this school, getting to taste the most beautiful man here, having him hold me and comfort me and sleep with me as lovers do. It was romantic. It was a brief fairy tale and it was perfect.
But now it’s over and I’ll always cherish my time with him.
I’m not sure that I’ll ever stop loving him. The next guy I give my heart to sure has some big boots to fill.
Isaac
I sit, plane ticket in one hand and a tumbler of vodka in the other. I stare at the date. I stare at the location while sipping my drink, relishing the burn it leaves in my throat. I pick up my phone and stare at the picture I took of Eloise wearing her beret on Boxing Day.
Why can’t I get this girl out of my head?
Why do I keep calling her ‘girl’?
She’s more mature and harder working than most of the women I’ve met. She’s special. I was so lucky to have her, even for a short time, but I was foolish too. I should never have gone for her like I did.
It’s her scent, her voice, her looks, her ridiculously sexy body, it all drives me crazy.
Insane.
Completely.
She knew what I was doing and she agreed. She didn’t cry, fight, argue or scream. She accepted it and put it into motion before I ever had the chance.
I down the rest of my drink and drop the tickets and my phone onto the couch. I bury my face in my hands and try to think of anything else.
The week passes and everything goes as normal. Elle seems fine, my mum hasn’t had any major episodes this week and my dad is too preoccupied with my mum to even care about what I’m doing.
I spend the following weekend drinking, something I’ve never been one to do a lot of. I never saw the point, but it seems to be the only thing stopping me from picking up the phone and calling her.
She looked gorgeous in Friday’s lesson; I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She looked tired too.
Though she didn’t look at me directly, I knew she was alert to my presence and I don’t know why that pleases me so much.
Over the last week, Katherine seems to have backed off a lot. I’m not sure why. I spoke to my dad about her showing up at my flat and I have a feeling he might have said something.
The only person who continues to grate my nerves would be Shannon. My student.
She’s taken to hanging back after classes just so she can offer me her assistance. The way she does it lets me know that she doesn’t want to assist me with my work. She’s not hideous, but she is my student and I wouldn’t do that.
Elle was different. I know nobody else will see it that way, but she was. To me it was different to taking advantage of a random student.
“Mr Price.” My heart warms at the sight of Eloise standing at my door, shifting nervously. She tucks her beautiful hair behind her ears and steps further into the room. She left my class four hours ago. It’s home time. Why is she still here and why has she come to see me?
“Yeah?” I want to pull her into my arms and kiss her. I want to…
“I had a bit of an accident.” She holds up a plastic bag and moves towards me. I peek inside and notice her exercise book for class is looking soggy on one side. It looks like somebody vomited red crap on it; it smells of tomatoes too. “I’m sorry, I was studying the dates and then Hayley knocked one of those large canisters over. It was full of minestrone soup.”
“Oh.” I take the bag. I have no idea what to say to her. “It was an accident. It happens.”
“Can I exchange it? I’ll… umm… pay for another.” This is awkward. So awkward. You wouldn’t think we’d ever seen each other naked if you were a witness to this exchange.
I shake my head. “It’s fine. I have a few spare. I’ll get one if you’ll give me a moment.” I take the bag and dump it in the bin by the door. The cleaner can handle that mess. “Wait here?”
She hesitates. “I actually… can I pick it up tomorrow?”
“It’ll only take me a moment.”
“Please? I really have to get to work.”
“I’ll give you a ride.” I say without even thinking. I suppose old habits die hard.
Her breath catches and I swear I hear her heart let out a thud. “No, umm, that’s okay. But thanks.”
Shot down. Not that I expected any different.
“Okay, well, I’ll pick one up shortly and you can collect it tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Mr Price.”
I hate it when she calls me that. “You can still call me Isaac you know? I don’t have a problem with that.”
“I do.” She murmurs, brushing past me. I feel her heat and smell that ridiculously delicious scent, but I don’t do anything about it. I can’t do anything about it. “See you tomorrow.”
And then she’s gone and I’m left wishing I had more vodka. I should really return that ticket to her before I do something stupid and decide to actually use it. If I don’t have it in my possession at least there’s no chance of me entertaining the idea.
For now I actually do my job and head to the storage room where all the exercise books are kept. Hopefully they’ll have a few left. I’m certain they do, although three students have had to purchase new ones over the Christmas period.
It’s when I enter the storage room using a spare key that my heart stops and my head spins.
I hear it, the sounds of sex coming from behind the closest shelf. Whoever is in here hasn’t heard or seen me enter and I have no fucking clue what to do.
Fuck.
It’s probably a couple of students.
Something tells me it isn’t and the thought of Eloise behind that shelf with another man burns a hole straight through my chest and fills me with rage.
I have no clue what to do. This isn’t in the teaching manuals.
I back out of the room slowly and close the door quietly behind me, locking it again. It was locked when I got here, so clearly they have a key and only three teachers in this school have keys to the storage room.
Myself, my dad and Diplock.
I hang back, hiding around the corner behind a row of lockers. I wait, my eyes on the door. In my mind I chant over and over, “Please don’t be Elle.” Even though I know deep down it won’t be, I still… gah… it’s painful to think about.
I wait for ten minutes before the door finally opens and I blow out a breath of relief.
It’s Shannon.
Fuck.
It’s Shannon!
She brushes her trousers down and quickly fixes her hair, looking around with shifty eyes. Then she walks towards the exit and the store cupboard door opens soon after.
I glare at Diplock, even though he doesn’t see me. I can see that fucking smirk on his face.
What the hell is he doing?
He’s married! He has kids!
She’s his fucking student! She’s clearly vulnerable and has a thing for men of authority… Christ it was only this afternoon she was testing my limits, so I know she’s not into him long term. She’s just looking for acceptance.
What the hell do I do about this?
I can’t tell my dad myself. He’ll never believe me.
Am I being hypocritical? No I am not. I don’t believe I am. Elle and I were different. I respected and still respect her as an equal and as a woman. He clearly just wanted to get his dick wet.<
br />
Fuck.
Fuck!
I wait for him to leave before doing the same, my mind burning with vicious thoughts of planting my fist straight through his fat fucking head. If anybody finds out this would shame the school. He’d lose his job, his wife, his kids… that’s if she doesn’t forgive him. Even if she did, what would he do then? He wouldn’t be able to teach elsewhere; he’d lose his license.
I can’t just sit back and let him do this to her.
I should talk to Shannon.
No… I should get a friend to talk to her.
This day just keeps getting better and better.
Chapter Twenty Five
Eloise
It’s lunchtime so I head to Isaac’s classroom to pick up my History book.
I can’t wait to see him… not.
Yesterday was torture; it was so awkward. I couldn’t stop picturing him naked. I barely stopped myself from getting on my hands and knees and begging for him to come back to me.
I’ve been trying to stay strong. I’ve been trying to keep busy, but it hasn’t worked in keeping him from my mind.
I yelp when my arm is grabbed and I’m pulled into the classroom. I notice immediately how the blinds on the windows are closed.
“I need to talk to you,” Isaac says, his eyes frantic.
“Okay.” I wonder what has him so worked up. He doesn’t look as if he’s slept at all. “Are you keeping on top of your laundry?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I mean yes, but…”
“Seriously, you’re wearing odd socks.”
He grabs my shoulders, his pupils tiny, and for a second I think he’s high but then mentally laugh that off. Isaac doesn’t do drugs; he despises them as far as I’m aware. “Will you please listen to me?”
Okay, he’s serious. I need to focus. “What’s wrong?”
“Diplock.”
“My English teacher?”
“Yes.” He rolls his eyes before snapping them back to mine, his warm hands still gripping my shoulders. “He’s sleeping with Shannon.”
Oh. “Okay?” I’m not sure why he’s telling me. “And?”
“I need you to tell my dad.” He finally releases my shoulders and takes a step back as I gape at him.
“Me? Why the hell would I do that?”
“It’ll look better coming from you.”
I retract what I thought earlier about him despising drugs. I’m pretty sure he’s on them. “And how do you know they’re sleeping together?”
“I saw them in the storage closet when I was getting that book for you.” He winces. “Remind me to get you that later.”
“Isaac,” I whine, frowning deeply. “I need that. Your essay is due tomorrow.”
“I’ll dismiss it until Monday.”
“Really? Yay.”
He growls and flicks my chin. “Will you focus? Please?”
“I’m not getting involved. It’s none of my business.” I hold my hands up defensively when his face darkens with anger. “Well it isn’t! I’d be such a hypocrite.” My voice lowers. “What we were doing…”
“Is different.”
Eye roll. “How is it different exactly?”
“It just is!” I can see he’s getting frustrated with me, but I stand by what I’m saying.
“Nobody else will see it that way if they find out. Just leave it, Isaac.” I go to turn, but he grabs my bicep and keeps me facing him.
“I can’t do that. He’s taking advantage of her.”
Sigh. “Were you taking advantage of me?” He glares at my words, clearly resenting the fact I’d even ask, but I’m only trying to prove a point. “Exactly, so why would you think that about him? Isn’t he your friend or something?”
“He’s married.”
Yeah, it’s awful what he’s doing to his wife, but I still don’t see why I should get involved with this. “How many married men have affairs do you think? It’s horrible, I know, but it’s none of our fucking business. Just leave them be.”
“But he’s using her, Elle! Don’t you care about that?”
“I can’t prove that he’s using her any more than you can.”
“Please, just go and tell my dad. Speak to him; tell him Shannon confided in you. Maybe he’ll catch them in the act.”
“No.” I pull my arm free. “I’m not telling anyone anything.”
“You’re a coward.”
“Nope, I’m just giving them the same chance I hope somebody would have given to us. Besides, your dad can’t take this kind of pressure right now.”
He slams his hand on the table to my right, causing me to jump. “Fine, I’ll deal with it myself.”
“You do that and, when you march into that office and tell your Dad about Diplock, tell him about us too. Let’s see how he listens and feels.” I’m shouting now but I don’t care. I’m aggravated. “Because if you feel this way about Diplock, you must be feeling this way about what we had.”
“We were fucking different!”
“Right.” I roll my eyes again. “Of course we were. That’s why we had to sneak around and lie to everyone. I mean what did we do really other than watch movies, eat and have sex?”
“I wasn’t taking advantage of you.”
“Weren’t you? Are you sure? You seem to be thinking otherwise. Maybe your anger over the Diplock issue is misplaced anger that you really want to aim at yourself.” I prod him in the chest, forcing him back a step. “You don’t have a right to judge another teacher for doing what you did! I didn’t realise you looked at it like it was sordid and seedy.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “It’s not, Elle, and you know it.”
“I do? And why’s that? You’re both the same age. Shannon and I are the same age.”
His hands come back to my shoulders and my back hits the door. “You didn’t see the way he left that closet. He doesn’t love her and respect her like I do you. He’ll never love her and respect her the way I do with you. I know his type; he’ll get what he wants until he’s bored! She’ll go on in life with even bigger issues than she’s got now and you know she’s got issues. They aren’t in love. Is that what you want for her?”
We both freeze at his words. My mouth drops open and my body goes numb. I heard that correctly, right? He said he loves me.
“I’m done with this conversation.” His hands ball into fists and he rubs his eyes. “Go.”
“Wait…” I try, but he pulls the door open.
“It doesn’t change anything,” he snarls and, with a hand to my back, he gently pushes me through the doorway and slams it shut afterwards.
I look both ways down the hall. A handful of students look my way, but only because they heard the door slam.
I shift my bag up my shoulder and walk away, my lips still parted as I try to figure out whether or not I just dreamed all of that.
He said he loves me. Not loved, but loves, as in present tense. He still fucking loves me and always did.
I don’t know why this brings me so much joy. It shouldn’t because he’s right; it doesn’t change anything. It still makes me run to my next class with the biggest grin on my face. If they turn off the lights, I swear I’ll be glowing.
A man like Isaac doesn’t admit his love easily and he may have said it by accident, but he still said it. He still meant it.
The unattainable male loves me… ME! I should be happy dancing.
Unfortunately I have to work. I bloody hate Tuesdays. Or I did until today.
Tuesday will forever be the day I remember as the day he told me how he felt… by accident.
Isaac
That didn’t go as planned.
What do I do now?
I should just listen to her and leave it. There’s no point in stirring up something. The girl is eighteen; she can make her own decisions.
I honestly can’t believe I said love. I don’t love Eloise… I care about her a lot, but this isn’t love. I think. It’s close to it, but it’s not
quite.
I don’t know how to handle any of this.
I sit with my mum and dad, hating how frail she looks as my dad helps her eat her dinner. She’s even worse than she was last week. Her hands are trembling so badly she can’t even hold a fork between her fingers.
“Thirsty?” I ask her and she gives me the blankest, glassy eyed look I’ve ever seen.
My dad helps her bring a glass to her lips and she gulps it down faster than I’ve ever seen her gulp down a drink before.
She keeps forgetting to eat, so we now have her on a schedule. She’s lost so much weight. She forgets that she’s hungry and tips her food away. The progression is quick, too quick.
Dad picks up her almost empty plate and kisses her head as he stands.
She turns to the TV with the remote in hand and flicks through the channels. Lately she hasn’t wanted to be around us. When she’s not having a bad moment, she’s quiet, down and definitely depressed. According to Susanna she doesn’t want us to visit.
I’m not wasting any more time staying away.
“What’s he doing in there?” Mum hisses after a minute.
“He’s washing the dishes.”
Mum’s eyes shift to the doorway and narrow. “What are you doing in there?”
“Washing the dishes.” My dad walks back through with suds up to his elbows.
Mum looks away, her face a mask of suspicion and distrust. Sighing, my dad returns to the kitchen.
I take the remote from Mum, winking at her when she tries to take it back.
“Pain in the arse.”
I only laugh and pick a movie as she sulks. Dad would tell me off, but I honestly don’t think that smothering her and treating her like a spoilt child will make her last ounce of time with us any better.
I think what she needs is normality and me taking the remote is normality. It’s what I do.
I sat on the couch beside Elle, who held a large bowl of cinnamon flavoured cereal on her lap. She spooned a mouthful, her eyes on some reality show on the TV.
There was no way in hell I was watching that shit. She seemed glued to the TV so I didn’t think she’d notice me lean around her for the remote. I was wrong. The second my fingertips touched the plastic, I felt the metal curve of the spoon against my knuckles.