by Charles Dean
Ring of Power: It’s too bad an item with the name like ‘Ring of Power’ isn’t better than it is.
Stats: +10 Power, +10 Speed, +10 Vitality
Captain’s Ring: Often those who receive this item complain that it isn’t powerful enough. It doesn’t have enough stats. That’s because they don’t understand that its only limit is the strength of those who follow its wearer.
Stats: +10 Power, +1% increased Power and Speed for all allied party members.
Dragon’s Tear: Proving that there is at least some value in making someone cry, the Dragon’s Tears sometimes harden into beautiful jewelry with magical powers. At other times, they just ruin the shoulder of someone’s shirt.
Stats: +10 Spirit, +10 Concentration
Captain’s Emblem: A symbol of power can be more than just a symbol if it carries with it the trust and hopes of those who give it meaning.
Stats: When carried, raises the level of all NPCs commanded by +5. All nearby allied players will receive +5% to all stats.
Dull Iron Axe: Sometimes, you have to make do with what you have. After all, a giant axe to an enemy’s face is better than nothing, right?
Stats: 98 Damage
Double-Bladed Axe: If spearmint gum has taught us anything, it’s that it’s perfectly okay to double your pleasure and double the fun, and nothing says twice as much fun as an extra blade on an axe.
Stats: 135 Damage
Burriza Blade: What does a polar bear have to do with a sword? Who knows, but when you see how well it turned out, who cares?
Stats: 215 Damage, +10 Power
Sapphire Spell Staff: Pretty when new, pretty when blue. With an intricate blue sapphire beautifully adorning a dark wooden staff, this is just as much a decorative accessory as it is a weapon.
Stats: +15 Spirit, +10 Concentration
Enchanted Bathrobe of Valcrest: Special times call for special measures. When armor is too heavy, clothes take too long to put on, and you’re expecting company, the bathrobe is the right special measure needed. This one just comes fully decked out. Ramen not included.
Stats: +15 to Power, +15 Speed, +15 Vitality, reduces incoming Damage from all sources by 10%, +35 Damage when wielding Spoons, +10 damage versus French Onion Soup