She’d told him the night he’d arrived that she was only here for a short visit, that her home was in New York. Sarah looked out the window, her mind immediately filled with a vision of Reese’s face when he’d left last night. A mental picture of Jackie superimposed itself over his. Jackie, with her pure heart and giving nature.
If Sarah moved back to Clay Creek, how long would it take for Jackie’s pure heart to be tainted by Reese’s resentment? How long would it take for her sunny nature to develop clouds of unhappiness as she realized her daddy didn’t want to be a daddy? “No, I don’t think this will ever be my home again,” she finally said. Not as long as Reese was here, and he appeared to have finally dug his feet in and accepted the town he’d once hated. Again the irony of the situation caused a bitter smile to curve her lips.
“I’m hoping to wrap up this court case in three or four days...a week at the most,” Ben said. “I really appreciate you offering to stay with Lindy until it’s finished.”
Regret surged through Sarah. “I waited too late to breach the years with Mama. I don’t want to make the same mistake with Lindy. Other than Jackie, she’s the only family I have left.”
“I understand you have an appointment with Ralph Erickson today.”
Sarah heard the slight tension in Ben’s voice and she suddenly realized what might be worrying him. She leaned over and touched his arm. “Ben, I’m assuming since Ralph asked to see me by myself, that means Mama left the farm to me. But you must understand if that’s the case, then nothing will change. You and Lindy can continue to live there as long as you want.”
Ben nodded, tension still whitening his knuckles. “Raymond Boswell, the owner of the power plant, is interested in buying the place,” he observed as he pulled in behind her car at Doc Burwell’s office.
“Well, he’ll be disappointed. As far as I’m concerned, it’s not for sale,” Sarah said firmly, hoping she put Ben’s worry to rest. She got out of the car. ”Don’t worry about Lindy,” she assured him. “I’ll take good care of her while you’re gone.”
“I’ll call every evening,” he promised, then, with a wave, he pulled away.
She stood for a moment, staring down Main Street. The early morning sun was kind to the old buildings, spilling down a golden light that softened the facades. It was just a little before eight o’clock and the only cars on the street were parked in front of Anna’s café.
Before she realized her own intentions, her feet carried her down the block and to the café. Just a quick cup of coffee, she promised herself. Jackie would probably sleep for at least another hour.
The first person she saw as she stepped inside was Reese, sitting at the counter with a cup before him. At the sound of the door closing behind her, he turned and saw her. For a brief moment his features were unguarded and a genuine smile of pleasure curved his lips as he gazed at her. The warmth of his smile caused an answering flutter in the pit of Sarah’s stomach.
Had she known that he would be here? Was that what had pulled her in? The desire, the very need to see Reese? Ridiculous, she scoffed. Why would she want to see him when she still had a bad taste in her mouth from the last conversation she’d had with him?
Still, she couldn’t deny the unexpected surge of happiness that swept over her as he got up from his stool and approached her, his smile as potent as a caress. Maybe he was right. The past was over, but something between Reese and her had yet to be finished.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, standing in front of her, bringing with him the clean male scent that stirred a latent desire deep within her.
“Fine...better...” She fought against the ache his closeness aroused.
He reached up and touched the bandage on her head, his fingers as soft and tender as they had been when they’d touched her the night before. “I planned on coming out to the farm later this afternoon.” He placed a hand on her elbow and led her to a booth. “Here, sit down and have some coffee with me. I want to talk to you about the shooting.” He motioned for Anna to bring his coffee from the counter.
She relaxed somewhat, realizing he wasn’t going to rehash the more intimate discussion they’d had the night before.
“Hey, sweetie, Reese told me about somebody using you for target practice,” Anna said, setting Reese’s cup before him and adding one for Sarah.
“I guess somebody mistook me for a deer,” Sarah replied as Anna filled her cup.
“Damned hunters. It would be nice if they had at least as much brain as the guns.” She patted Sarah’s shoulder sympathetically. “I’ll send Suzanna over to take your order. I’ve got pies baking I need to check on.” She gestured to the waitress, who was serving a couple at a booth in the back.
“Don’t send her over on my account,” Sarah protested. “Coffee is all I want.”
“And I’m fine, too.” Reese directed his attention back to Sarah as Anna nodded and hurried off. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Like the dead. That pill Doc Burwell gave me really did the trick.” She sipped from her cup, wishing he wouldn’t look at her so intently. She realized she couldn’t hang on to her anger where he was concerned and she needed her anger desperately to obliterate the memory of the passion they’d once shared.
She wondered if his lips would still burn hers with a fevered heat, if his caresses still had the power to drive her mindless with hunger? Had the frenzied desire that had once existed between them been the passion of youth? Had their love been real, or had it merely been a matter of circumstance? These were questions that had plagued her for the last six years, questions that had haunted her in the quiet dark hours of night.
“Sarah?” His gaze didn’t quite meet hers. “I’m planning on coming out this afternoon and taking another look around where you and Jackie were when you were shot, but to be honest, I doubt we’ll ever find who did it.”
“What’s the point of looking around again? You didn’t find anything last night. I’m sure it was just some crazy mistake,” she said faintly, too conscious of him.
“I just thank God you weren’t hurt worse. It could have been a real tragedy.” His voice was gruff and she knew the anger she’d seen in his eyes the night before wasn’t gone.
She nodded and groped for conversation—anything to distill the tension that existed between them. “I still find it difficult to believe you’re now the sheriff. When I left here you were Sheriff Taylor’s nemesis and now you’re both on the same side of the law. How did that happen?”
Reese leaned back against the booth and smiled reflectively. “It’s a long story. I was on the verge of self-destruction when Jim Taylor took me by the ears and offered me a chance to turn my life around.”
“As I recall, you always seemed to be on the verge of self-destruction,” Sarah observed wryly. “I remember the night you tried to break the speed record for going around that hairpin curve by Miller’s pond.” She was instantly sorry she’d mentioned their old parking place.
The smile on his face faded and his eyes burned into her intently. “I didn’t realize how much you were a part of my sanity until you left. I went a little crazy after that.”
Sarah’s heart trembled in her chest as old, unwanted emotions swept through her. She’d never considered him when she’d left. She’d been so wrapped up in her own drama, her own pain. She’d never thought of what her leaving town might do to him. “You were always more than a little crazy,” she teased, uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation.
He grinned, a wicked upturn of his sensual lips that merely increased his magnetism. “The only difference is that back then I was a little crazy and I was one of the bad guys. Now I’m a little crazy and I’m one of the good guys.”
Sarah laughed, the laughter fading abruptly as his hand reached for hers and his eyes lighted up like fiery chunks of charcoal. “I want you, Sarah,” he said in a low near whisper. “It’s crazy, it’s insane. I’m angry as hell with you, but that doesn’t seem to matter. I want you now with the same m
indless intensity I did six years ago.”
“Reese...” She pulled her hand from his, a hot blush working its way up her neck. She fought against the liquid heat that swirled inside her. Oh, it would be so easy to forget the past and fall back into the magic of his arms.
“Hi, Sarah.” Suzanna appeared next to them, her presence effectively breaking the moment. “Reese told us all about what happened.” She peered intently at Sarah’s head. “Whew, looks like it was some close call.”
“Much too close for comfort,” Sarah replied.
“You picking me up at seven?” Suzanna turned her attention to Reese.
“Yeah, sure,” he answered absently.
Sarah looked at her watch and stood. “It’s getting late. I’ve got to get back home.” She pulled a dollar from her purse and set it on the table. “I’ll see you two later.”
As she drove back to the farm, her thoughts were in turmoil. She couldn’t deny that there was still a powerful attraction between her and Reese. He’d spoken it aloud, and she’d felt an answering affirmation in herself. Deep inside she wanted him as much as he apparently wanted her.
But where could it possibly lead? She was only going to be in town another couple of days, and from what Suzanna had said, she and Reese were dating. Falling back into any kind of a relationship with Reese would only serve to make them both more miserable than ever. Besides, he’d made it clear he didn’t want to be a father to Jackie, and therefore he could have no permanent place in Sarah’s life.
And yet she couldn’t deny the appeal of making love with him. The last time they had made love she hadn’t known she was leaving town, hadn’t realized she would never again lie in his arms and feel the wonder of him deep inside her. She felt a need to make love to him one last time...and know with a certainty it was the final chapter in their book of love.
She winced against the pounding that had begun in the side of her head. The only thing clear at the moment was the knowledge that trying to sort out her feelings for Reese gave her a headache.
* * *
“Come on in and I’ll put some coffee on,” Suzanna said as she unlocked the door to her apartment. The door across the hall opened a crack and two dark eyes peered out. “Hello, Mrs. Jackson,” Suzanna said sweetly, laughing as the door slammed shut. “She wouldn’t have a life at all if she didn’t have mine to spy on,” she said as she opened the door and gestured Reese inside.
Reese hesitated. The whole evening had been a mistake. He should have canceled the date rather than come when his mind was otherwise occupied. He’d barely paid attention to the movie they’d seen, although he’d been grateful that the film had made conversation unnecessary. Still, it wasn’t fair to Suzanna for him to be here spending time with her when his mind, his thoughts and his heart were all filled with Sarah.
“I probably should call it a night,” he finally said hesitantly.
“Ah, come on, Reese. Just one quick cup. I’ve got some new gourmet stuff that I’ve been dying to try.” Suzanna’s eyes pleaded silently.
“Okay, but just one,” he agreed, relenting. He stepped inside so she could close the door behind him. There was a part of him that recognized Suzanna’s quiet desperation, the need to fill at least an hour or two of a lonely night. He’d felt it often himself over the last couple of years.
He settled himself on the love seat, rearranging the loose pillows across the back to create a comfortable spot. Suzanna disappeared into the kitchen. A large orange long-haired cat jumped up beside him. “Hey, Tiger.” He scratched the huge tomcat behind his ears, smiling as the cat rolled over on his back to give Reese’s fingers access to his belly.
Over the years he’d spent many evenings on this love seat petting Tiger while Suzanna puttered around in the kitchen. He and the cat had a lot in common; both were strays that Suzanna took in on cold, lonely nights.
He and Suzanna had dated off and on since high school and had managed to settle into a comfortable relationship of companionship without commitment. It had worked fine, had been enough...until Sarah’s reappearance. Now Reese realized how superficial, how pointless, his relationship with Suzanna truly was.
“Here we are,” Suzanna said brightly as she carried in a tray with two cups of coffee. She plopped down next to him, pushing Tiger off and brushing at the orange hairs that clung to the material of the sofa.
“Hmm, it smells wonderful,” he said, enjoying the almond, chocolate and rich coffee aroma. He took a sip, then smiled appreciatively. “This is great. Where’d you get it?”
“A friend brought it back from a little specialty shop in Kansas City. It’s good, isn’t it?” She took a sip, then set the cup on the table in front of them. “What’s the matter, Reese? You’ve been quiet and distracted all night.” She moved closer to him, her heavy perfume overly sweet and cloying.
He immediately thought of Sarah’s perfume, a light floral scent that invited closeness rather than suffocated. He shoved the comparison out of his mind. Why couldn’t he get her out of his brain? “I’ve got a lot on my mind,” he answered.
“Sarah?” She smiled innocently as he looked at her, startled by his own transparency. She laughed. “I know you, Reese. You’re a good sheriff and I know the shooting has to be eating at you.”
He nodded, instantly relieved. At least he wasn’t as transparent as he’d thought. “Sure it bothers me. If it was a hunter, then he needs to be found and face charges of negligence. We can’t have people indiscriminately firing guns at anything that moves.” He finished his coffee and stood up. “And on that note, I’d better call it a night. I’m on duty early in the morning.”
Suzanna pulled at his arm. “You’ve had to be on duty early before and I don’t remember it bothering you.” She stood and pressed herself against the length of his body. “Stay a little longer, Reese.” She twined her arms around his neck, pressing her full breasts against his chest. “I promise you I’ll be most entertaining.” Her lips moved softly against the lobe of his ear. “I can think of lots of things more fun than getting a good night sleep,” she whispered.
Despite his unease, Reese laughed. Gently he pulled her arms from around his neck, “Ah, Suzanna, you make an offer difficult to resist.”
“Then don’t resist,” she returned, seductively unbuttoning the top button of her blouse.
“Suzanna.” Reese reached out and caught her hands in his. “I’ve really got to get home.”
She frowned and walked with him to the door. “Thanks for the movie and dinner,” she said, looking up at him expectantly.
He knew she was waiting for him to mention another date, another time, but he couldn’t. The words simply wouldn’t come. Instantly he knew this would be his last date with Suzanna. “Good night, Suzanna,” he said.
“Wait.” She grabbed him by the arm once again. “When am I going to see you again?”
He hesitated. “I’ll call you,” he finally said. However, as he walked out into the night air, he knew he wouldn’t be calling her for a date again. He didn’t want to hurt her, but it wasn’t fair for him to see her again. He couldn’t move ahead, couldn’t fall in love with anyone, until he somehow reclaimed his heart from Sarah. He just hoped that in the process, he didn’t lose his heart forever.
* * *
Sarah paced her room, unable to sleep with the tremendous amount of noise coming from the kitchen. Thank goodness Jackie was a heavy sleeper, and rarely woke in the middle of the night.
Lindy had been working in a frenzy all day. She’d managed to get all the old wallpaper off the walls and had been cleaning out cabinets when Sarah had come home from her afternoon appointment with the lawyer. Lindy had refused to even sit down to supper and instead had put new shelf paper in all the cabinets while Sarah and Jackie ate.
Sarah looked at her clock. Nearly midnight. How long could Lindy keep up her frantic pace? How long did these periods of manic energy last?
Walking to the bedroom window, she pressed the tip of her nose aga
inst the cool glass and peered out onto the moon-painted farmland. Her heart swelled and tightened in her chest. Her appointment that afternoon with Ralph Erickson had confirmed that she was her mother’s sole beneficiary. The farmhouse and the surrounding eighty acres were hers, along with a letter from her mother detailing her wishes.
The letter explained Margaret’s worry about Lindy and her concern that Ben wasn’t in for the long haul.
That’s why I’m leaving the farm to you. Because I fear that Ben isn’t strong enough to survive Lindy’s illness and I don’t want the farm divided in the event that Lindy and Ben divorce. I’m certain of your strength, Sarah, and know that you’ll do what needs to be done to keep Lindy safe here. The farm is our home, our roots. It and you two girls have my heart.
The letter had been a final piece of her mother and had brought tears to Sarah’s eyes. Written in her mother’s no-nonsense fashion, it had stressed Margaret’s wish that the farm remain Lindy’s home for as long as she wanted. Her mother had also written of her pride in Sarah’s resilience and independence, and her wish that Sarah finally find the strength to leave New York and come back home to Clay Creek.
Sarah had no problems granting her mother her first wish. She had no desire to sell the farm, and Lindy and Ben belonged here. But there was no way she could consider granting her mother her final wish.
She sighed and focused back out the window. The moonlight gave the landscape a kind of fairy-tale appearance. The trees were silver silhouettes against the dark horizon and there was an ethereal glow to the land. Yes, a fairy tale. And the only thing missing was her Prince Charming. She’d thought she had found him once, but he’d only been a mirage. A man who didn’t want children couldn’t be a prince. He could only be a lonely, unhappy man.
She jumped as she heard a muted bang from downstairs. Grabbing her robe, she pulled it on, then left her bedroom. She went to the room next door and checked on Jackie, who hadn’t moved since Sarah had tucked her in. Sarah leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek, then went downstairs to see what Lindy was doing.
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