Pushed the dominos.
I can’t sit by silently any longer.
“Depends. I’m no murderer, so if you want her dead, you’ll have to do it yourself.”
“What? No.” I muffle a laugh. “Why’d you think that?”
“You were so angry with her; I thought you’d already done it.”
“No … I’d never kill her.” Somehow, those words mean a lot when I say them, even though it’s fucked up.
“Good.” He smiles, making me feel awkward. “Well, then I’m all ears.”
I shake my head and take another sip.
I’ve made up my mind.
This is it.
“Call him. Tell him I’m no longer working for him.”
Winston’s eyes widen. “Are you … You’re not kidding.”
I pick up the cup and sway it back and forth in my hand. “Call him.”
“This could mean your death.”
“I’m aware.” I stare ahead at the wall in front of me, realizing I’m probably signing my own death certificate, but screw it. I’m not participating in their evil schemes anymore.
Enough is enough.
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
“Dammit, Winston!” I slam the cup down again. “Just do it.” I sigh out loud. “Get it fucking over with.”
“All right … if that’s what you want.”
I throw back the drink he’s given me until it’s empty and then give him back the cup. “And bring me another one of … whatever the hell that is.”
“Of course.” His hand touches my shoulder, and I flinch from the sudden contact, but then relax again once he squeezes. “I’m proud of you.”
I nod slowly as he turns around and leaves the room, leaving me with my thoughts, which are violent right now.
I want to throw something. Smash something. Break everything to bits. Shove the bench, throw my chair, break the glass of the window, and scream.
But I don’t.
I don’t because I’ve learned my lesson. Because I don’t want her to have to witness my anger like that ever again. I have to learn to control myself.
Now that I’ve finally pulled the trigger, I’ve set something into motion I don’t know I’ll survive. But it was goddamn worth it. Finally, I did a good thing.
And it brings a fucking smile to my face.
***
Night
In my workshop, I work tirelessly on the next piece of jewelry. After taking a quick pill to numb the pain of my scars, I continue carving the gem. I only stop working once the crystal is perfect and the ring is finished. I don’t care how long it takes; as long as it’s done. And now that it is … I’m finally calm again.
So I clean up the mess and then make my way toward my bedroom. Every step feels heavier than the one before. I know I’ve screamed at her, but I hope she can forgive me. If she’s still here.
I tell myself I’ll tell her everything, one day.
But now … I’m too tired to even walk straight.
When I open the door, I freeze.
She’s still here.
Despite the fact that I yelled at her. Threw shit at the wall right in front of her. Fucked with no restraint.
She’s still here, in my room, in my fucking bed.
Sleeping.
Like a fucking angel.
If angels had black eyeliner, tongue piercings, bird tattoos, and a smoking-hot body, that is.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Trying not to make a sound, I carefully tiptoe toward her, pulling my clothes off one by one until there’s nothing left. Naked, I crawl under the sheets with her and park myself right behind her.
She wriggles, moaning a bit, and it makes my cock twitch with delight. I struggle to will it down but manage eventually and snuggle closer. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her closer to me and smell her hair. She smells of smoke and firecrackers. Burning embers. Smoldering flames … as fiery as her spirit.
“Hmm …” she groans. “Where’d you come from?”
“Shh … go back to sleep.”
“I can’t. You’re invading my space.”
I laugh a bit and press a kiss to the back of her head. “It’s payback for earlier.”
“For what?”
“You … sneaking into my room,” I whisper.
“Pft.” She pulls the blanket up further. “What are you doing here anyway?”
“Tired. Wanna sleep.”
“The couch is there.” She points at the couch on the other side of the room.
“It’s my bed.”
“So?”
I look down at her, pouting. “You don’t mean that.”
“Of course, I do. Asshole.”
I smile, and when she does too, I laugh.
After that, it’s quiet for a while, and I pull her closer to press another kiss to the back of her hair. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be.”
“I know. I’m trying to do better. Trying to be less of an asshole.”
“Yeah? Good.” She snuggles back into my chest and purrs, setting me on fire again.
“This. This is good.” I tighten my grip around her waist.
“Hmm …”
Is that a yes or a no? Does she agree?
Then she turns around. I try to hold her back, but I don’t want to hurt her, so I cover my face with my arm instead. “Don’t.”
“Why not?” she says.
“Don’t look at me, please.” I swallow. It’s at times like these when I miss my mask the most. I can’t hide behind it anymore.
“What are you trying to hide?” she murmurs, grabbing my hand. She pulls my arm down, and I let her.
“You shouldn’t have to look at this.”
“At what?” She smiles. “I don’t see anything except you.”
You. What does that even mean? Me. Who am I really?
Who have I been these last couple of years?
Just a monster with a scar … instead of the man she apparently sees in me.
I admire her ability to see beyond the surface.
No, I fucking worship it.
And just like that, I begin to realize I’m starting to fall for her. Hard.
“I like … you,” I say.
She opens her eyes softly, the corners of her lips tugging. Then she places a finger on my lips.
“Right …. Just fucking,” I say, nodding.
“No … I just mean it’s time for sleep,” she says, blinking at me.
“Hmm …” So there is still a possibility for her to like me for more than just my cock? She hasn’t denied me either, so that’s a definite plus. But it doesn’t mean she’ll stay.
I smell the top of her hair again, trying to memorize her scent in case I never get to smell it again. Because there’s a big chance she’ll eventually leave me, and I want to remember her forever.
Especially considering the decision I made tonight.
Vladim will come for her.
***
Morning
I wake up, and for the first time in forever, the nightmares that continuously haunt me don’t plague me. But when my eyes crack open, and I look around, I notice something’s missing.
Her.
Chapter 14
Viktor
I jump up out of bed and look around.
She’s nowhere to be seen.
I pull open the window and look out, but there’s nothing to see.
Shit.
Fuck!
Shit, she’s gone.
Running my hand through my hair, I take a deep breath. Then I pull on some sweatpants and a white shirt and rush out the door.
“Alexis!”
I run through the hallways, not giving a shit about the ache in my leg. I have to hurry. Maybe, she only left minutes ago and I can still catch up with her. Or maybe, she’s already gone, but then I’ll know exactly where she is too.
If that’s the case, she’s where she wants to be, b
ut I’m not gonna let it happen.
She can’t return home.
Not with Vladim on her trail.
As I rush through the hall and make my way to the door, Winston peeks out the kitchen. “Viktor?”
“Not now, Stan.”
“Viktor … I don’t think you should rush off like that.”
“Not now, gramps!” I repeat as I put on my coat. “Gotta catch up with her.”
He clears his throat, crossing his arms.
“Catch up with who?”
It’s her.
I immediately turn around, only to spot her with a spoonful of cereal right in front of her mouth.
“You,” I mumble, stepping toward her.
Winston frowns, and I throw my coat at him as I walk past him.
“You’re still here,” I say, looking at her putting the spoon in her mouth.
When she’s done chewing and swallows, she answers, “Uh, yeah … where would I be?”
I lick my lips, my brows drawing together as I rub the back of my neck. I don’t wanna say it. I don’t want her to have to think about going back.
“Oh …” She puts her spoon down.
I guess she already figured it out.
“Home.”
I sigh as I sit down across from her. “Yeah.”
“You thought I’d left you,” she says, biting her lip.
“I … can’t lie. Sorry.”
“You keep thinking I’m going to leave.”
“Because I know you want to,” I say.
She shrugs. “Or maybe I quite like it here.”
“Liar.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Whatever.”
Winston comes walking back in. “Don’t fight in the morning.” He grabs a bowl and a spoon from the kitchen and places it in front of me. “Eat.”
“Not hungry.” I shove them away, but he shoves them back.
From the corner of my eye, I see him glaring at me, but I don’t care. She’s staring at me too, and I’m not breaking contact either.
Without looking away, I grab the cereal and milk and pour them into my bowl. She takes another bite of her cereal, never taking her eyes off mine as I put the spoon in and taste it.
And then we sit and eat … and stare.
“Okay …” Winston says, and he grabs a newspaper and sits down on a stool in the kitchen and blocks us out while reading.
I don’t care. I’m not talking and neither is she. I’m not going to give her any more excuses to make a run for it, and she’s not telling me what she really thought when she saw me, so …
SMACK!
Something’s stuck to my face.
Sticky … milky … cereal.
And her face. It turns from a full-on frown to full-blown laughter.
She places her hand over her mouth, but it can’t hide her sly smile.
Grinding my teeth, I wipe my face off with a napkin and cock my head at her.
Slowly, I put the spoon back into the bowl, watching her stare as I bring it up to my face.
And then I quickly turn it around and catapult it at her.
It smashes right into her forehead.
I grin as it drips off her, and the smile immediately slips from her face.
“Motherfucker,” she growls, and she grabs another spoonful. “Oh, it’s on.”
Suddenly, we’re in an all-out war.
Cereal and milk fly everywhere. Spoons too.
“Hey! Watch it! I just bought new China,” Winston says, putting down his newspaper.
“Eat shit!” Alexis yells, throwing her entire bowl at my face.
I only barely manage to catch the bowl, without its contents … which are now splashed over my chest and the floor.
“Oh, now you’ve done it,” I growl, and I pick up my bowl, stand up, walk toward her … and dump it on top of her head.
She squeals as the cold milk runs over her body, which only a thin nightgown covers. Her instantly hardening nipples catch my attention. They’re hard to miss, and I swallow back the emerging lust.
“Fuck. You’ll pay for that.”
Her fingers are on my chest before I know it, twisting my nipples.
“Ow! Fuck,” I scream, grabbing her wrists. “No, bad Lexi.”
“Woof,” she says, laughing.
I shake my head, laughing too.
I’m fucking angry she threw her food at me, but it was fucking fun too. I can’t decide which one is more important to feel right now.
But when I look into her eyes, everything ceases to matter.
“Right … who’s gonna clean up this mess?” Winston says.
We both look at him, shrugging and grinning like two kids.
Winston rolls his eyes and gets off his stool. “Thought so.”
“I’ll help,” Alexis offers, and she immediately grabs a cloth from the counter to wipe the table. I follow her lead and grab a paper towel to dry the floors. Together, we clean it up pretty quickly, and we both wash our faces and rinse our hair in the sink when we’re done.
When I hand Alexis the towel to dry herself, Winston gives me a slap on the back.
“Go on. Go play outside.”
“Ha-ha. You just wish you could’ve thrown some cereal at my face too.”
“Yes, of course, and I wish that I could pick up girls, and smoke some weed, and get drunk every day of the week. Yeah, I really miss acting like a kid.”
“Hey … we’re not kids.”
“Technically, I am … since it’s my last name and all, but whatever,” Alexis muses.
“Yeah, and I’m not old,” Winston retorts, throwing the towel over his shoulder as if he’s some badass. “What’s new.”
“Wow, Stan’s pretty sassy today,” Alexis muses.
“Winston. It’s Winston. Don’t you start with me too,” he growls.
“Winston. No.”
“Woof,” he says, and Alexis laughs.
I roll my eyes. “Right. I think I’m just gonna leave now,” I say, turning around.
“You do that, little vikky.”
My eyes twitch, and I turn my head. “What did you say?”
He grins. “Can’t handle the burn?”
“Oh, screw you, Stan,” I say, and I stomp out the door.
“Good to see you’re back to your old self!” Winston yells after me, but I try to ignore it.
Alexis tails behind me, still chuckling as if she’s having the time of her life throwing shit and talking crap. She really is something. And now, I realize we didn’t even eat that much. My stomach is already growling. But fuck, I’m not going back in there and risk more of that teenage crap happening. I’m way too old for that shit now.
“Hungry?” Alexis asks.
“Huh?”
“I can hear your stomach, you know.”
“Oh … yeah, well, there wasn’t much cereal to eat after what you did.”
“What I did? How about what you did?”
“You started it,” I say, as I walk to my workroom.
“Doesn’t mean shit,” she says. “Besides, we had fun. And I did have a few bites. It was good.”
“Good … cereal? Good?” I glance at her over my shoulder.
“Yeah? Why wouldn’t it be?” She raises a brow. “I ate it all the time … with my sister.” Her face darkens. Oh, fuck no … now, I made her think of her sister. Again. Fuck. Cereal? Seriously? Fuck cereal.
I stop in my tracks and sigh.
“What are you doing?”
I grab her hand and pull her along with me. “I want to show you something.”
I pass my workroom and go directly to the place where I keep all my treasures. The same room I found her sister snooping for something she could pawn. I look around all the shelves until I find what I’m looking for. The watch she was aiming for when I caught her.
I take it out of the drawer and brush my thumb over it. It’s one of my best. The only one I still have left from before my face turned into that of a monster. It’s the o
nly reminder I have left of a life without this pain.
“What is it?” Alexis asks, peeking over my shoulder.
I turn around and open my hand to show it to her. “A watch I made a long time ago.”
Her jaw drops. “You made this?” Her fingers reach for it, but then she hesitates. “Can I see?”
I nod and let it take her from me. Her fingers touch it as if it’s the most magical thing in the world, tapping and listening to the sound, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.
“Wow,” she murmurs. “This is incredible.”
“That one’s good, yeah. The others? Not so much.”
“Others? There’s more?” A glint in her eye appears that makes me smile.
“Yeah … I have more.”
“More watches? Or do you make other things too?”
“Rings. Bracelets. Necklaces. You name it.”
“Oh my God.” She smiles brightly. “That’s so awesome! I love jewelry.” She pets the watch as if it’s some kind of prized possession and looks at me from under her lashes. “How much do you have?”
“Hmm … enough.” I shrug. “But don’t think you can come here and rob me because I take prisoners.”
“No shit.” She raises a brow at me. “I don’t steal; that’s my sister’s thing. I just like … shinies, that’s all. Do you sell them?”
“Nah, it’s just an outlet for me. Nothing more.”
“Well, it’s pretty,” she says, handing the watch back to me. “Shame you’re keeping your talent to yourself.”
In a spur, I push it back into her hand. “You keep it.”
“What? No, it’s yours,” she says.
But I close her fingers around it. “Now, it’s yours.”
“But … this looks like it means something to you.”
“It does.” I take a short breath. “Which is why I want you to have it.”
She wets her lips and looks up at me. “I can’t ta—”
“You can.” I hold her hands, so she can’t give it back. “I want to give this to you.” I look deep into her eyes as I speak, hoping she understands why I want her to have this. “Your sister came for this. Look at it as my way of … making things right.”
I can’t set her free … but this, I can do.
Her brows draw together, and she looks at her hands, then back to me, and sighs. “All right.” She smiles, and her eyes turn watery, but she doesn’t cry. “Thank you.”
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