“I never lied. I just didn’t tell you the truth.”
Her eyes are focused on mine, but her feet take one step back as I take one forward. “Because you thought I couldn’t handle it.”
“Because I knew this would happen. You’re pulling away from me, again.”
“Who wouldn’t after hearing all that?”
I cock my head. “Is it really that? Or is it just me?”
“What?” She frowns.
“I know you hate being here. That you’re stuck here with me.”
“Who said that?” she says.
“You did when you looked at me with disgust. When you fucking slapped me across the face.” I point at my jawline, where I can still feel the sting of her rage.
“Be happy that’s all I did after finding out my whole life has been a lie and that I slept with the man who’s partly responsible.”
I like how she calls me a man. “I didn’t … I wasn’t the one doing that to you. Trust me when I say I never wanted to be in that position.”
“But you worked with them,” she hisses. “If it’s true what you told me, that makes you just as evil.”
“Exactly. Which is what I’ve been telling you from the beginning. I’m a monster.”
She makes a face, grinding her teeth as if she wants to say something, but then she spins on her heels and makes for the window. I race after her, capturing her right when she yanks it open.
“So that’s what you were doing in this room …” I growl as I wrap my arms tightly around her waist.
“Let me go!” she says, jerking and pulling at my arms, but I’m not about to let go.
Not this girl.
“And here I was, thinking I nailed them shut tightly enough,” I muse.
“You’re sick,” she spits.
My nostrils flare. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Lexi.”
“It’s Alexis! How many times to I have to say it?”
“As many times as you want, but I’ll never stop calling you Lexi.”
“Why?” she says, still wriggling around.
“Because I give special names to things that are mine …”
“I’m not yours,” she hisses. “I never was.”
I frown. “Liar.”
“Let. Me. Go.” She won’t stop flailing around, even bringing herself in danger by leaning over the edge of the window. A gust of air swooshes into the room, bringing her scent to my nose. I smell as her hair gets caught in the wind, her head hanging out the window, grasping for freedom.
I lean in closer to her ear and whisper, “Are you that eager to run? That upset with me?”
“You didn’t tell me your boss was the same guy I remember from my childhood!”
“Because look at what happens when I do! You flip out!”
“Of course! Who wouldn’t?” she yells.
“I know I’ve done some bad shit, but it doesn’t change who I am.” I point at myself. “I’m still me. I never changed.”
“You should’ve told me …” she says.
“Should I have called the cops, too, when you and your sister broke into my house? Should I have locked you up in the guest room for the rest of your life? Or should I have dumped you in the basement with the rats? I’m not the only one who’s done some bad shit.”
I can hear her gulp in the air, and it creates goose bumps on my entire body.
I hate even the slightest sliver of fear … despise it, to the point of wanting to beg her to stay and look at me. Really look at me and see my defeat. Because if she isn’t happy with me … I can’t be either.
“Are you that unhappy with this place?” I murmur, my voice breaking. “Do you want to get away from me that badly?”
She doesn’t answer, but her body feels less tense against mine, even though half of it is leaning out the window. I know she can taste the freedom. It lures her like her body lured me.
“Tell me the truth,” I say, my fingers digging into her skin. “Tell me I’ve treated you badly. Tell me how I’m an animal. A monster. Someone who everyone fears. Who deserves no love. Prove to me I’m right.”
She hesitates and then stops fighting me. “No.”
“Don’t tell me a lie, Lexi. I don’t wanna hear it. You don’t have to seduce me anymore. I’m done playing games.”
“I’m not …”
Her breathing captures me so much; I bring one hand to her throat. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fear that I saw, driving me to insanity, wanting to prove to myself once and for all that I’m truly that monster I see in the mirror. Or maybe I’m wrong, and I want to remember what it was like to touch her for the very first time … that first encounter, when neither of us knew who the other really was.
“Do you hate me?” I whisper in her ear, my tongue briefly darting out to lick her earlobe.
Even when she fears me and wishes to leave, I still want to have her more than anything else in the world.
“How can I not?” she says, swallowing.
“Exactly … how can you not,” I growl. “But you’ll never hate me more than I already hate myself. But you know what’ll also never change? How much I fucking want you. How much I fucking need you. I’ve never wanted a girl as much as I want you.”
Her pulse races under my fingertips, her throat muscles clenching as I speak into her ear.
“I can’t let you go, Lexi. You’re my obsession. I can’t sleep. I can’t think. Can’t eat. Can’t stop wanting your body … seeing your eyes light up … that foxy smile. I want it all.”
A tiny gasp escapes her mouth as my hand snakes its way around her naked belly and pulls her closer to my body. “I hate that too … just like you. You’re so different. So unlike anything I expected. I like it.”
I gently press a kiss to her neck, and it makes her clench the hand that’s around her throat. But she doesn’t attempt to take it off. Instead, she only presses harder.
“I shouldn’t be here,” she whispers, her eyes closing. “I shouldn’t have come. Shouldn’t have stayed.”
“But you did … Even when half of the time, the door isn’t locked.” I grin against her skin.
“I can’t …” She moans when I bite into her shoulder, leaving a mark.
“Stay with me, Lexi. Don’t be afraid of me. Or you’ll prove I’m the monster you said I wasn’t.”
“You’re not …” she whispers, leaning back into my body, her hips grinding against mine. “I hate this. Hate that I want to leave … but can’t.”
“Can’t … because I hold you back.”
“Because I’m holding me back. Because I don’t want to leave, even when I want to. I hate you. I hate this. I hate us. But I want this just as much.”
“You seem confused, Lexi …” I muffle a laugh.
“I hate you,” she murmurs.
“I hate you too …” I say, sliding the straps of her nightgown down her shoulder. “But I need you more than I hate you.”
“Why am I still here?” she whispers as my hand disappears into her panties.
“Because you want me. Because you can’t leave.” I slide my fingers between her slit. Her folds are already wet for me, even before I’ve laid a hand on her. I grin against her skin, finally understanding why I want her so much. She needs it rough … and rough is all I am.
“You used this against me, Lexi …” I whisper in her ear. “Used your pussy as a tool to get information.”
“It wasn’t just that …”
“Show it to me then.”
The nightgown falls down to the floor, exposing her naked body right in front of the open window. But with no one around, neither of us cares. I’m going for the kill.
“Make me believe the lie that’s us,” I say, rubbing her clit.
“It’s not a lie,” she murmurs, her breaths coming out in short gasps.
“You only say that because my hand is around your throat,” I say, dipping my finger into her pussy. She gasps out loud as I go deep and swirl around inside her
. “Because I own this pussy.”
“Fuck …” she moans.
I groan and then pull away, releasing her from my grip entirely. A confused Alexis turns around and props herself against the windowsill, her eyes pleading with me as I walk backward. My cock is hard, but my desire to know where we stand is much more urgent. Her legs draw together, and she clutches her body as another draft enters through the window, her nipples peaking from the cold.
I can’t help biting my lip as I watch her become befuddled while I sit down on the chair on the opposite end of the room.
“Go on then …” I say, rubbing my bottom lip with my index finger. “Carry on with the little show you had going in my workroom.”
She stares at me for a few seconds before leaning back. Her eyes glance over her shoulder to the opened window. I wonder if she’s thinking what I’m thinking. If she’s hesitating … Trying to decide whether to run or stay … If she wants me more than her freedom.
But then her eyes settle on me as I zip down my pants and pull out my cock.
There’s a gleam of desire in her eyes … one that makes me grab a hold of the base and say, “You want this? You can have it … after you show me you really want it.”
***
Alexis
Within a second, I know I’ve made my choice.
I looked over the edge of the window, setting my sights on freedom, but when it came within grasp, I realized I want something else more than my freedom. Him.
I want him.
As much as I hate to admit it, I do fucking want him. I hate that he gets me so wound up, so fucking turned on that I can’t think of anything else but his fingers in my panties and his cock against my ass. God, I could feel it all … and I wanted more. I want it all. Every fucking day.
And that … pisses me off more than anything else.
I don’t want to want him, but I have no say in the matter either.
My body had already decided before my mind had a chance to say no. He’s rugged and tough but broken and lovable at the same time. He’s like a fucking gift wrapped in a scar.
And still, it’s the only thing he sees.
He’s right when he said I was scared. It’s a new thing for me. I never get scared. But this time … when he followed me … I was scared. Scared of the look in his eyes when I knew he really wasn’t gonna let me go.
I felt trapped. Trapped by his need. Trapped by my own desires. Trapped by his fingers wrapping around my throat so tightly I can barely breathe. And I fucking loved it.
I know, I’m insane, but it gave me such a high.
All my life, I have fought—fought to live, fought to survive. I’ve never been in the position where I could surrender to anyone because I couldn’t trust him because I could never let go. But with him, I can.
He has the power to bring me to my knees.
I still feel him on my body, his touch lingering on my abdomen, inside my panties … on my very fucking pussy. I feel it all, and it makes me gasp the moment my hand retraces all his steps. The wicked glimmer in his eyes sets me on fire as I bring my hand down between my legs and spread open wide.
His tongue darts out to wet his lips, his grip on his cock still firm, demanding my attention.
This is what he wants.
For me to show him how much I really want him … to prove to him that I meant what I said.
And even though he kept the truth from me, I can’t deny I want him just as badly. Maybe I’m stupid, insane, but I can’t deny what I feel. That’s why I hate him so much … I hate him for what he does to me. That he’s changed me, irrevocably.
He made me want a man.
Not the beast. Not the monster. A man. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make him see he is that man.
So I slide my fingers between my folds until they’re slick and start toying with my pussy.
“Is this what you want?” I say, looking him directly in the eye.
“More.” Just one word, dark and gruff, but it’s enough to set my body on fire.
My fingers expertly tease my clit until I’m so wet, I can dive in. Licking my lips, I watch his eyes as he sees me finger myself, his cock bouncing in his hand. He jerks himself at the same speed as I fuck myself. In and out, up and down, we mimic each other’s movements. It’s such a fucking turn-on that I could come right here, right now. Maybe that’s what he wanted when he said ‘more.’
“Getting hot in here, don’t you think?” he murmurs, biting his lip.
Slick pre-cum drips down the head of his cock, and he wipes it all over his length, smoothing out his strokes. Both delicate and animalistic. I can’t stop looking … Can’t stop fantasizing about seeing him come.
“Oh, I’m already burning,” I say.
“I want you on flames, Lexi,” he growls, still jerking off. “Show me what you thought when you first saw me jerk myself off behind the curtain. When you danced … when you secretly wanted to fuck my brains out.”
I gasp.
“Yeah … I know. Why do you think I grabbed you?”
“Because you …”
“Because I like you. Because I wanted to see you come undone like you saw me come undone.” A devilish smile appears on his face. “Now, show me what you felt. Show me what it looks like when you come.”
He wants to see me fall apart just to prove to him how much we want each other.
I don’t blink twice. Pure need drives me to tease myself, to lick my lips as I watch him watch me. His obsession with me is a fucking drug, and I can’t get enough. I chose this. I choose fucking over escaping. I’ve completely lost my mind … to him.
“Yes, Lexi. That face. That’s what I wanna see. Lust. Desire. Surrender to the need. Give it all to me.” He furiously pumps himself and the faster he goes, the faster I go. I feel connected, even though we’re not even touching; our eyes never breaking contact are enough.
“Imagine my fingers on your clit …” he murmurs, and I bite my lip. “Imagine my tongue sweeping across your nipples.”
“Yes …” I moan, unable to control myself.
“Imagine my mouth on your pussy, my tongue diving in to lick you. I could do it every day, Lexi. I’ll lick you every fucking day of the week. Breakfast. Dinner. Dessert. I’ll put you on my fucking table and suck your pussy dry.”
“Fuck, yes.” My pussy thumps with pleasure as I near the edge.
“Imagine my cock plunging into you, claiming your pussy. I take control of your body; you can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think … I’m the only thing you want, and you know it. You want me to take away your freedom because the very act makes you experience true freedom.”
“Yes!” I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m nuts, but I can’t hold it any longer.
I’m tipping on my toes, my fingers flicking my clit like there’s no tomorrow. His domineering voice is such a complete turn-on. I’ve never experienced something like this, and it’s giving me a fucking high like cocaine.
“I’ll fuck you because you belong to me. I’ll give you my cum … if you give me yours,” he growls. “Now come, Lexi. Come for me.”
“Yes … Yes! Fuck, I’m coming,” I moan out loud as the heat washes over me, my clit thudding as my release pulses through my body. Panting, I lean back against the windowsill and shake out the final rush.
But then his voice brings me right back into the moment, forcing me to open my eyes and face the admittance I just gave him. “C’mere.”
I step forward, but he holds up one finger in the air, making me stop. “No.” Then his finger points downward. “On the floor.”
Chapter 18
Alexis
I wanna tell him to go fuck himself, but he already is, so that’s useless. Instead, my pussy clenches from his words. Fuck my pussy. Like literally, fuck my pussy … that’s what he needs to do. And I’m fucking mad … mad to the point that I’m actually doing what he says.
I keep kneeling as long as his eyes bore into me until both my knee
s and hands are on the floor. A smile slowly creeps onto his face, and he releases his cock from his grip. It bounces up and down, glistening with pre-cum and drawing my attention like a fucking beacon.
“You want this? Come and get it then,” he says. “Show me how badly you want it. How far would you go?”
“Just take me,” I murmur.
He sits back in the chair and watches me amused. “Come.”
I crawl toward him, grinding my teeth while doing so, but knowing full well I’m admitting my own defeat. He has me right where he wants me … and the fucked-up part is that I want to be here.
“That’s it. Come to me,” he croons.
I do as he says until I’m right in front of him, my mouth watering at the sight of his cock in my face. I can already taste him in my mouth. I hunger for it.
But then he says something that takes me by surprise.
“Turn around.”
I frown but twist on my heels until my ass is pointing toward him. I wait and wait, but nothing happens, and I get the sense he’s just messing with me. I’m this close to calling him out for it, telling him that I’m not just a piece of ass, when he places his hand on the small of my back.
He slides it down between my crevice. SMACK!
I squeal from the hot flash.
“What was that for?” I snap, glancing back at him.
He raises a brow, keeping his lips sealed.
Fuck him.
Fuck me.
Goddamn, it hurts … but the pain sizzles between my legs, making my pussy throb too.
Damn him for making me want him even more.
He slaps my other ass cheek just as hard, the clap reverberating in my ear.
I hiss but keep my mouth shut this time. It’s not like he’s gonna answer anyway.
“Why do you let me do this?” he asks.
“Because you want me to.”
“Because I want you to … or because you want me to do it?” he hums. “I know you want this cock.”
“Not just the cock …” I moan.
“Oh … really now?” I don’t know whether he’s mocking me or actually excited. “Tell me, Lexi … are you clean?”
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