by Dalia Wright
John pulled away from her. He wasn’t smiling.
Sarah’s heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. Had this been the wrong choice?
“Come inside, you must be tired from your trip,” John looked around. “Did someone drive you?”
“No. I took a bus.”
Sarah couldn’t read the emotion that passed over John’s face as he gave her a nod and stepped away from the door so she could come inside. She stepped inside and looked around. It was a simple place, without much in it. She had to admit she liked it.
John led her through the front room and into a hallway that branched off to a stair case on the right. On the left were two rooms. One looked to be the living room, and just past it was a doorway to the kitchen. Sarah tried to take everything in, for a split second walking past the doorway that led to the living room, where John now waited for her.
When she stepped into the living room Sarah realized they weren’t alone. Eyes locked on her, staring intently. Sarah felt her face turn hot. Suddenly, she was very aware of her clothing, as everyone in the room looked her up and down. There were two girls and one guy other than John.
“John, you didn’t tell us a friend was coming.” One of the girls said. She had strawberry blonde hair and green eyes. But it was the short jean shorts that Sarah noticed more than anything. Along with a simple black tank top Sarah couldn’t help staring for a fraction of a second. She forced herself to look away, wondering if the girl felt half as uncomfortable as she would showing that much skin.
“I didn’t realize she was.” John said, his voice even.
“I…” Sarah felt like she had to explain herself, but what was she supposed to say? Not what she wanted to in front of everyone she didn’t know. “I wanted to surprise you.”
Guilt tugged at Sarah’s stomach, twisting into a knot. She wasn’t sure why. She had nothing to be guilt for.
The other girl, she had brown hair and dark eyes, pushed herself off the couch. She wore jeans that hugged her legs, and a black tank top as well. She extended her hand to Sarah. “I’m Hanna.”
“Sarah, it’s nice to meet you.” The two girls shook hands. Which left the other two people. The girl in the shorts waved.
“Amy.”
Sarah returned her wave.
“I’m Brian.” The boy said, and for the first time Sarah glanced over at him. He had short blonde hair and brown eyes. He wore a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. As he reached over to shake her hand Sarah couldn’t help notice his muscles flex.
They shook hands and Sarah turned to John, for the first time giving him a once over. He almost didn’t look the same, except his hair and his eyes. He wore a pair of dirty jeans, and an oversized sweatshirt with a picture of a smiley face on it.
It took a few seconds for him to meet her gaze. “You must be hungry.”
“I am.”
Sarah hadn’t eaten since sun up, and by this time of day it was close to dinner.
Hanna cleared her throat. “Actually, I think we’re going to head out.”
“A-are you sure?” Sarah could hear the disappointment in John’s voice.
“Yea,” Sarah piped up. She didn’t want John to be upset with her if his friends left. “I just got here, I’d love to get to know you all some more.”
Hanna gave her a soft smile. “I’m sure we’ll have lots of time for that. I’ve got… something I have to do tonight, so I’d better go get ready for it.”
Sarah felt her the knot in her stomach tighten. She didn’t want John’s friends to feel like they had to leave, and truth be told she wasn’t sure she was ready to be alone with John.
“We’ll see you around though,” Brian smiled widely as he stood up and reached out for Hanna’s hand. “I’m sure of it.”
Amy followed, though she didn’t give Sarah a smile. Sarah stood there as the three of them headed for the door, John following them.
“I’m sorry, guys. I… I had no idea she would show up.” She heard him whisper.
“It’s cool,” Hanna said. “I look forward to getting to know her. She seems really nice, but I really do have to go. We’ll stop by tomorrow, or would you rather meet for lunch or something?”
“Lunch sounds good.”
Sarah listened as they moved, opened the door and then the door closed. And now, she was faced with John- totally alone and unsure of how he would react to her showing up. His words played over and over again. He hadn’t sounded happy that she had ‘showed up’. Will he send me away after I spent the whole day getting here?
Sarah didn’t have time to wonder, because she could hear John as he made his way back into the living room.
Together, alone for the first time in ages, Sarah opened her mouth, trying to figure out what to say, as John crossed over to her.
“I-”
His actions cut her off, leaving her speechless, as he closed the distance and pulled her into a tight hug. Sarah stood there, frozen against his tight embrace. He… he was going to be mad at her?
He pulled away, his eyes locking on her. “It’s so good to see you.” It was almost a whisper.
“You mean… you’re not mad at me for coming?” She had thought he was mad when he’d spoken to his friends about it.
“Of course not. I miss home, I missed you.”
He missed me?
Her of all people he had missed. Sarah’s heat skipped a beat. She took a deep breath, unable to stop thinking about what he had just said. A deep blush rose to her cheeks.
“Come on, let’s get you something to eat, you must be hungry.” His words brought her back to reality.
“Jah, let’s eat.”
She followed him into the kitchen, looking around with awe. She tried to take everything in. Of course, most of it she had seen, or even used. The fridge, the stove. Their community was not super strict about what modern appliances were used. Their community hall even had an air conditioner for days where it was beyond hot outside. The community hall was the only place that had electricity. More often than not, it was up to the family and the community what was used. Sarah’s parents had decided to keep a simple wood icebox, but some of the men had refashioned old fridges to stay colder than the ice boxes that most of us used- but it was a time consuming thing to do.
“Microwave,” John pointed to it. “It heats things quickly, but not everything can go in there.”
Sarah watched him reach for something she recognized, a kettle. He filled it with water and, instead of putting it on the stove, plugged it into an outlet on the wall. She watched it as a light flicked on.
“Do you like it?” She asked. “The English world, I mean.”
“It’s… not bad. I don’t know, I mean it’s nice but I miss home every now and then.”
“Even with your friends?”
“Of course. I have friends at home that I miss. Except you’re here now, so I have less friends at home that I miss.” John turned to her, leaning against the counter at they waited for the water to warm up. Sarah’s cheeks flushed. She was glad she’d come. She had been so worried that he would be mad at her, and now that was all gone. She was just happy that he was happy to see her, that he had missed her.
“How is everyone doing back home?”
“They are well. Everyone misses you, but they are well.”
“And da?”
“He’s doing well. He’s got help if he needs it, but of course he won’t admit if he does,” Sarah gave a soft smile. Her had had helped him several times, without permission. “We’re all there to make sure he doesn’t put himself.”
“And maemm?”
“She misses you,” A lot. “But she’s well. She keeps busy. Emma is expecting, that is keeping everyone busy these days. Helping them put a new room on the house, and helping her get ready for the baby. Lots of knitting. The men keep busy with the furniture.”
John laughed softly. “I am almost sorry to hear I am missing it all.”
We could go back. Sarah didn’t da
re voice it. She didn’t want him to think that she had come all this way just to drag him back.
The kettle popped behind John, the light vanishing as he turned and reached for the cupboard. He pulled out two small packages of something.
“Instant noodles.” He said. He handed a package to Sarah. She took it and read the package from front to back.
You just add water, and in 5 minutes they are ready? “How interesting.” She mulled it over as John handed her a bowl. She watched carefully as he prepared his.
Once she had watched John get his read she got her own bowl of instinct noodles ready, and John poured the boiling water into it for her. They carried the bowls into the living room and sat down.
“Here.” John held a fork out for her.
“Dakna.”
Sitting down beside John, Sarah took a second to look around the room. It was small, with two large and comfy couches taking up most of the space. There was a small coffee table in the center of the room, and along the back wall there was a large TV. Sarah stared at it with wide eyes. A TV was never something she’d seen outside of a store.
“Have you been able to see much?” She asked, playing with her food as it cooled down.
“I’ve seen a little. Is there anything you want to do while you’re here?”
Spend time with you.
“Not that I can think of.”
“I’ll have to come up with a few ideas then.” He gave her a smile before he took a bite of his food. Sarah waited a little longer.
They fell silent for a few minutes.
John cleared his throat. “So, do you have somewhere you are staying?”
“Nee. I was hoping…” Sarah trailed off. She wouldn’t say it out loud. She couldn’t bring herself to. Her community was not the type that approved of Bed Courting, or even having the couple alone for much more than a couple hours.
“I could see if Amy or Hanna will let you stay with them.”
Sarah bit her lip. I do have Jen. She said if I needed anything I could call her.
“Do you have a phone here?”
“Jah, why?”
Sarah nodded, not answering his question. She looked down at the bowl of food and took her first bite. It was unlike anything she had ever had before, the flavors overwhelmed her. She wasn’t sure if it made her sick, or delighted her. A little bit of both maybe.
Chapter Three
Sarah couldn’t believe she’d done it. She’d come here to surprise John, and now here she was with her bags ready to go- waiting for Jen to come pick her up. When she called Jen asking for a place to stay the girl who barely knew her had been worried, Sarah could hear that in her voice, but Jen had promised to get in her car right away and come get her.
“So, you just met this girl on the bus?”
“Jah, I sat beside her.”
John’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure you want to stay with her? She’s a stranger.”
And what? She was supposed to stay with one of his friends? They were no better than strangers.
“I’m sure.”
“Your da-”
“I’m sure.” She repeated the words, cutting him off. If he wasn’t going to let her stay here then she would stay with Jen.
A blue car pulled up, stopping in front of their place. A man stepped out of the door, taking Sarah’s attention away from the other people who stepped out of the car on the driver’s side.
“Sarah?” Jen’s voice called. She stepped out from behind the man and waved.
“Hi.” Sarah jumped to her feet, grabbing her bag. She hadn’t realized Jen had a boyfriend. I hope I won’t be getting in their way. She thought.
Taking a deep breath Sarah made her way down the steps and towards the car.
“Oh good! I was worried I’d gotten lost and couldn’t find you.” Jen sounded relieved as Sarah came to a stop in front of the car.
“Here,” The man held his hand out for her bag. “let me.”
Sarah locked eyes on him. He had brown eyes and black hair. His lips curved up as he smiled, his thin lips parting to show a set of white teeth.
Sarah held her bag out to him.
“Danka.” It slipped out as he took the bag. Her cheeks flushed.
“You’re welcome.” He didn’t skip a beat, it was like he didn’t even think about the fact that she had just used a different word than he was used to.
He carried it to the back seat, where he sat down and closed the door.
“You must be…” Jen paused, as if trying to remember his name. “John, right?”
Sarah turned to see John take his gaze away from the man who had just taken her bag.
“Yes,” John stepped forward. “Thank you, for helping Sarah.”
“Oh, anytime!”
Jen smiled widely. “It can be hard when you’re somewhere new and have no clue what is going on or what you should do next, or where you can stay,” She looked at Sarah. “I’ve been there. I’m just glad I can help you.”
Sarah’s brow furrowed. What did that mean?
“Here’s my number, if you want to call her or anything.” She handed John a piece of paper very close to the one she had given Sarah.
“Thank you.” John didn’t seem to have any trouble with confusing English and Amish words.
Sarah’s cheeks flushed. Had he slipped up at all when he first came here? Or had he had lots of time to practice? This had all been spur of the moment for Sarah, had it been for him or had he known for a long time he would do this?
Jen headed back to the driver’s side of the car and slipped inside. Leaving John and Sarah alone outside.
“I guess… I’ll see you around.”
“Tomorrow.” He nodded. “I can come pick you up, if you give me a call and let me know the address.”
“Alright.” She’d gotten his phone number in case she needed to call him.
Sarah closed the distance between them, thinking about the hug he had given her when she first arrived. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into another hug. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. It felt like they she was leaving him already. Nee. She knew that wasn’t the truth but she couldn’t shake the feeling.
“I’ll see you later.” It was a promise.
“See you,” John nodded as he pulled away from her. “Take care.”
“Bye.”
It took everything Sarah had not to pull him back into a hug and ask him not to leave her, not to make her leave. She took a deep breath and forced herself to turn towards the car. She slipped into the seat beside Jen and buckled her seat belt.
“You sure you’re ready?” Jen asked.
“Yes.” It took Sarah a couple seconds to think, just to make sure she was using the right word.
The car pulled away as John turned, heading back into the house without looking back. Sarah watched him as long as she could, praying that he would turn around and wave, or even try to make her come back. She prayed he would change her mind.
We could stay in the same house together. She thought. We wouldn’t sleep in the same room! She knew that but if they had separate rooms, would it really be that bad?
Would it be that frowned upon by their family?
The entire community knew why Sarah had made this trip, they even approved of it as a show of love for the man that she would marry.
“So, did it go well?” Jen asked after a couple minuets of silence.
“It went okay. We’re going to get together again tomorrow. It’s just… not common for us to be staying in the same place. He offered to have me stay with one of his friends, but I thought…”
“I’m glad you called!” Jen cut Sarah off. “I was wondering if I would actually here from you. Anyways, I’ve got a spare room that never gets used, unless Dylan stays the night.” She jerked her head to the backseat where the man sat. Sarah turned to face him. I guess he’s not really a man. More a boy. Closer to John’s age than to her fathers
He gave her a wide grin. “I�
�ll take the couch while you’re here.”
Wait… they weren’t a couple? How do I try to figure this out without being rude? These kinds of thigs were never a concern at home. Everyone knew if someone was with another person or not. Things were not easily kept secret.
There were a few of the older ones who managed to keep it a secret. Normally that resulted in a fast marriage though, and even though no one said anything about it they all knew what that actually meant.
The ride back to Jen’s didn’t take long. As it turns out, Sarah would easily be able to walk over to John’s if she wanted to drop by to say hi and didn’t want to spend her money, or make Jen drive her around.
“It’s not much,” Jen said as they came to a stop in the driveway. “but it’s home. There is everything you’d need.”
The three of them got out of the car and headed into the house. Sarah tried to take everything in.
“You know,” Jen cleared her throat as Dylan stepped past them, Sarah’s bag in his hands. “I’ve got some clothes that are a size too small for me, but you look like you might fit right into them. Would you like to try them on, or…”
“Sure.”
Sarah hadn’t thought much about her clothing while she was back home. Now that she was here, she’d been taking notice of everyone’s clothes all day- and it seemed like everyone had been taking notice of hers.
Jen motioned her head towards the hallway before turning on her heel and leading the way. Sarah followed her, her mind racing.
“That’ll be your room.” Jen pointed to a small room on the left where Dylan was packing up his own backpack. Sarah felt guilt tug at her. I’ll convince him to let me take the couch later. She told herself as she went into the other room, the one on the right, with Jen.
She looked around at the small room.
There was a bed, a dresser, and a mirror. But mostly there were just clothes all over the floor.
“Anything that’s folded is clean,” Jen said. “you’re welcome to try any of it on if you like it.”
Sarah stared down at everything, trying to take in all the colors and the prints as Jen made her way over to a closet and pulled it open. Sarah’s jaw dropped as she stared at even more clothing.