by Lucy Coleman
‘What’s so amusing? I was counting on you to bring the towels.’
He thinks I’m laughing because he forgot.
‘I’m that predictable, am I?’ Maybe not quite as much as you think. Sam, if you could read my mind. Shame on you, Anna, this is a line of thought you don’t want to venture down.
He stands to stretch out his back, extending his arms and twisting his head until there’s an ominous crack. I watch as he turns in the other direction and grimace when I hear an even louder one.
‘Ooh, that doesn’t sound good.’
‘When I’m working and doing a lot of lifting the stress tends to build up in my neck which leads to muscle spasms. It pulls on the vertebrae and stretching it out corrects the balance. It sounds bad but ten minutes in the pool and I’ll be as good as new.’
We circle around each other and I’m glad I took up the offer as it is soothing and it does feel a little decadent in the gathering darkness. The pool is Dad’s pride and joy and its maintenance a labour of love. Earlier on I noticed several of the guests out here with two of the kids excitedly splashing around with a ball. We both head towards the side of the pool and I hitch my arms up over the edge, letting my legs float up to the surface of the water.
‘So, what do you think about Cannes?’ Sam prompts me about his offer, which I thought I’d managed to side step quite nicely.
‘Am I going as a friend, or as a plus-one?’
‘There isn’t a catch to this offer, Anna. I’ll introduce you as you, not as my girlfriend and you’ll have your own room. I will admit it would make the trip a little easier for me, for a number of reasons; not least because most of the other people there will probably be couples. It’s just an annual meet up, but this is the first time I’ve accepted the invitation. Hence the hesitation.’
‘Can I give it some thought? It would solve a problem for me but I sort of assumed I’d do the trip to Nîmes and back in a day. Hmm… but it is Cannes. I don’t know, let me sleep on it.’ I look at my feet, thinking it’s time I replaced that nail polish and quickly slip them back beneath the surface of the water. When I look up I see that Sam is checking me out and it flusters me.
‘Good. You can let me know what you decide in the morning.’
With that he turns away, stretching his arms out and pushing his feet against the side of the pool to glide off through the water with ease. It takes him no time to travel the length and return; I watch him as he swims effortlessly back to my side.
‘Do you ever get lonely, Sam?’
He runs his hands over his head and down over his face, wiping away the drips of water.
‘It’s not as simple as that for me. There are times I look back on the life I had but so much has happened since then that I’m not the same person anymore. I made some bad decisions and I wasn’t the only one who was affected by the fallout. It taught me that spending time alone is like being free. The only person it affects is me and I’m fine with that.’
He sounds accepting, as if that’s a normal response. I can’t even think of how to respond to that.
‘Oh, did you mean do I miss being in a relationship?’ He swivels around to face me, raising his eyebrows and clearly not at all concerned if that was where I was heading. ‘If you like. Having someone special in your life is a big part of it.’
My back is now up against the side of the pool; Sam moves around in front of me, easing forward until he has one arm each side of me resting on the tiled edge. Our faces are no more than eighteen inches apart.
‘Women are trouble,’ he smirks and begins laughing.
I stretch out my hands either side of him, raising them up and then bringing them down to splash him.
‘That’s a sexist remark, Sam Callaghan.’
He backs off for a moment, then leans back in towards me, holding onto the tiled edge again. There is a twinkle in his eyes as they wander from my face down over my body.
‘Okay. Some women are trouble. Maybe you aren’t one of them.’
The way he’s looking at me makes my stomach begin to flutter. His face is so close to mine and his mouth looks like it’s waiting to be kissed. I wonder what he’s expecting, if anything. I hold my ground even though a little spark of excitement is beginning to course through my veins. Could I do this? Could he do this?
A one night stand with no strings attached. Is that the question I can see behind those eyes or is it my imagination?
‘I think it’s time we went back inside. I expect all the guests have returned by now as it’s getting late.’
For one brief second, he did edge a little closer but then he suddenly drew back just before he spoke. I wonder how I would have felt if he had kissed me, or if I had kissed him? He says he’s not lonely but I don’t believe that at all. Two lonely people comforting each other wouldn’t have been such a bad thing, would it?
*
When we head back up the garden it’s obvious the kids are all in bed and only two couples are still in the sitting room playing cards.
Sam and I say goodnight and I lock up before going upstairs. When he leans forward to kiss my cheek, it throws me slightly as I was prepared to do the air kissing ritual. I recover well, though, and accept that we are more friends now than mere acquaintances. Of course we are.
I hop into bed to check my emails and my heart plummets when I see there’s one from Karl. Ziggy’s head peers around the open bedroom door and I knew she wouldn’t be far behind me. However, when she lies at my feet she doesn’t seem her usual self and has trouble settling as I reluctantly begin reading. She seems to sense when I’m unsettled and hearing from Karl has that effect on me.
Dear Anna,
I admit I can get a little carried away sometimes. I have good news and… well, I can’t go into that now but it means nothing if I don’t have you by my side. I thought you’d rush back here the moment you opened the package and saw the ring. Then when it came back to me I realised that it meant nothing because I need to ask the question in person.
I’ve taken the post down from my timeline on Facebook and admitted to everyone at work that you haven’t given me your formal response yet. That took a lot of guts, Anna, so I hope you can see that I regret what happened.
However, please say you’ll marry me and I promise to ask you properly and in a fitting style if you will only give me the chance.
I’m going to be in a position soon to offer you everything you could ever want. You won’t even have to work and we can sell your little house and buy something in the country. But it must be in the UK, so you need to come back home.
I’m here for you, my darling, and I’m prepared to be patient and wait until you are ready.
Love you always, Karl x
I throw the phone down on the bed out of pure frustration. Now he’s trying to convince me it’s true love. But why am I not feeling it, when I suppose this is exactly what I’d hoped to hear for so long? Ziggy pops her head up to look at me and emits something akin to a growl – well, that’s a first, and I wonder if she’s endorsing my own feelings.
I clamber out of bed and sit in front of the laptop.
‘This needs two hands on the keyboard, Ziggy, and it will involve some pounding of keys. Don’t worry, I’ve no intention whatsoever of letting him back into my life.’
She looks at me with those green eyes of hers and melts my heart, then she nestles back down, seemingly content.
Karl,
Tomorrow morning you will receive a box full of rose petals that have been cut up into tiny pieces. If the message isn’t clear enough, then I’ll say it once more: I’m sorry but I’m not in love with you.
This whole episode has been embarrassing. You cannot announce to the world that you are engaged when you know full well that I’ve made it very plain that ‘we’ are over.
I hope your good news allows you to start afresh and realise that I’m not a part of your future any more. I want to make it very clear that even when I do come back to the UK I ha
ve no intention of meeting up with you.
For your own well-being please now draw a line under this whole sorry episode. I wish you well, but I hope this is the last communication between us.
Anna
I don’t even re-read it for typos, I just press send as I feel so deflated. When you realise what you once thought you wanted means nothing to you at all, it’s like a void has suddenly opened up in your life. I love having someone else’s energy around me as it inspires me to greater things. But choosing a life partner is about two people who complement each other perfectly. Each has their own individual strengths, but together they are so much stronger. Even in that apparently heartfelt letter, Karl’s intention is to take over ‘our’ lives and be the person who drives our future forward. He doesn’t want someone he can respect as an equal, but someone who looks up to him and to me that smacks of a one sided arrangement. And a superiority complex.
When sleep eventually overtakes my mind, I dream I’m back in the office and when I walk into the kitchen to get a coffee everyone goes silent. I end up leaving the room in tears, the whispering growing louder and louder with each step I take until the noise fills the air around me and I begin to run.
Sunny Side Up, Please Chef
Poor Sam; Mum offers a full breakfast menu, as that’s a part of the attraction for guests, until she’s staffed to offer evening dining. Then, hopefully, she’ll be able to get away with a simple continental breakfast with a small bespoke list of items to cook. The list I have for Sam has everything from waffles to a full English, as well as French toast and crispy bacon. Rather impressively, he doesn’t look panicked but tapes the list to the wall above the range cooker, where he already has bacon and sausages lightly browning.
‘Is there anything I can do to help? The toast is under control and everyone has tea and coffee.’
‘You could watch over these waffles if you don’t mind. Give them three minutes and then check them every thirty seconds until they’re brown.’ He ladles batter deftly into the waffle iron and closes the lid.
It’s warm outside, but in the kitchen the heat is already really beginning to build up. I think Mum and Dad are going to have to consider investing in some sort of fan, as August is supposed to be even hotter and it will be unbearable in here with the range going.
But within an hour everyone is served and the breakfast room is empty. The guests seemed happy enough and the half full parking area empties within minutes of breakfast being over.
‘Listen to that,’ I say, turning to Sam as I place the last plate in the rack.
‘What?’
‘The silence. Everyone has gone.’
‘Now, what do you want for breakfast?’
‘You’re kidding me. I’m not washing up anything else so you can’t make any more mess.’
He frowns.
‘Um, you can’t actually cook without making a bit of a mess. Okay, you make two coffees and I’ll throw some fruit and yoghurt into a couple of dishes. Minimal damage.’
We spend a relaxing hour in the secret garden chatting away after breakfast has long gone. Ziggy puts in a brief appearance, allowing Sam to stroke her until a passing fly has her chasing down the garden after it.
‘I need to go, too,’ he smiles. ‘Only because I’m cooking dinner for my parents. I’ve stripped the bed and left the sheets in the laundry room. You’re welcome to join us for dinner if you want.’
It’s a kind offer but I need to be here just in case anyone comes back early and wants something.
‘Reluctantly I’ll have to pass, but I will take you up on your other offer. It’s the least I can do as you’ve spared me a lot of stress this morning. I couldn’t have coped with that. And I will really appreciate it if you can spare a day while we’re in Cannes to take me to Nîmes to visit Tom. I hate loose ends and it’s a particularly touching story, so it’s lovely to know there might be a happy ending.’
He smiles and reaches out to touch my shoulder.
‘You’re welcome. I enjoyed the company and thank you. See you in the morning, then. Ring if you need anything in the meantime.’
I nod. ‘I’ll be painting. Mum is going to be impatient to get her newly bought furniture installed now.’
‘I’ll be here bright and early, promise.’
*
Explaining to Sam about the situation with Karl gave me the confidence to send that email last night. It was as if saying the words out loud made it sink in, at last, that I was the innocent party. And today I feel lighter, happier.
When Mum and Dad return they seem surprised to find me alone, painting the gîte.
‘Where’s Sam?’ Dad asks, popping his head through into the bedroom which is now a very pristine white.
‘He went home mid-morning. Breakfast went well and he is a pretty good cook. You were right, Mum. And he mended the lock on room number two. Aside from that it was quiet, really. How was the buying trip?’
I bundle up the brushes to take them into the house to wash and put the lids back on the tins of paint. ‘I’m done for the day. I think it’s time for a cup of tea and I want to show you both the new website.’
‘We bought a bed and some beautiful old bedside tables. Oh, and a pair of rustic chairs for the small dining table. And I managed to get some bedding; white background with a pattern of simple green leaves. Was that it, Geoff, or have I forgotten anything?’
Dad gives it some thought as we head across to the kitchen.
‘The lamp.’
‘Oh, yes, a rather beautiful standard lamp. You’ll love it.’
Dad takes the brushes from me and I go upstairs to wash my face and change. Collecting the iPad, I return to the kitchen and as I walk in they immediately stop talking.
‘What is it?’
Dad looks uncomfortable and Mum looks worried.
‘It’s just this business with Karl, Anna. We’re both rather worried about it.’
I hold up my hand. ‘Go no further. I want you to read the email I sent him last night.’
I take a chair at the kitchen table as Mum carries the mugs of tea and places them down in the middle. I click the iPad into the slot on the keyboard and open up my inbox.
‘Here, I don’t think I could have been clearer, do you?’
They both stand behind me and lean over while they read my words.
‘Well done, that woman. You certainly told him.’ Dad sounds pleased. Mum seems to be mulling it over.
‘It won’t inflame the situation, will it? I mean, he is stable, isn’t he?’
‘He’s manipulative, Mum, that’s all. He’s used to talking people into doing what he wants and now he’ll realise I’m not going to be talked into anything. So, you can relax, really you can. By the time I go back to the UK he will have found someone else.’
She sighs and shakes her head. ‘Such a sorry state of affairs. Anyway, was Sam happy when he left?’
I start giggling. ‘If you’re checking that I didn’t upset him in any way, then you can rest easy. We had dinner here last night. And he left in a good mood. Oh, and I’m going to Cannes with him.’
Mum is sitting opposite Dad and they stare at each other in surprise.
‘Well, we weren’t expecting that. I mean, we’re obviously pleased you are going to have some time off. I certainly didn’t realise you two were getting on that well.’ Mum sounds incredulous, but I thought she’d be happy.
‘Well, we’re only going as friends, Mum. But there’s another reason. I’ve tracked down Thomas, he refers to himself as Tom, now. Wait a second, I can show you his photo.’
I call up his blog and once more, Mum and Dad come and stand behind me while I show them some of the photos.
‘He has certainly done well for himself,’ Dad comments.
‘He’s in Africa at the moment, but coming back next month. Sam is going to drive me to Nîmes so I can hand over the jewellery box to him. Stay there… and this is your new website.’
Mum’s hands fly up to h
er face and Dad chuckles.
‘Oh, my word! It looks so professional!’ he exclaims.
‘Um… Dad, it’s what I do, remember? I might not be able to cook but I know a bit about advertising.’
‘Well, well, well. You’ve done us proud, darling. Time for a group hug.’
I stand and we throw our arms around each other. This last few weeks have served to remind me that family is everything. And Sam was right; I want a successful career, of course I do, but I also want to find my soul mate and settle down. I want to put down roots and, at some point, I want children.
‘What’s going on in that head of yours, now?’ Mum stares into my eyes, looking for clues.
‘I was just thinking how lucky I am to be able to come here and unwind. Not only am I feeling more relaxed, but working on this little re-branding project for you has given my confidence a boost. With your permission, I’d like to use it as the first case study on the website for my new business.’
Mum’s eyes are shining. ‘There you go, Geoff, I told you that nothing would keep our daughter down for long.’
‘Well, if we ask around I expect you could get quite a bit of work just in the village alone. The B&B network we belong to has a lot of members who are struggling with websites they’ve set up themselves. IT related issues are permanently on the agenda of every meeting and many problems go unsolved. People play around but often they have no idea what they’re doing. If you want us to spread the word, you only have to say.’
‘Thanks, Dad. I’ll bear that in mind. I’ll finish off your new brochure tonight and once I have my website up and running too, maybe I’ll see what help I can be. While I’m here I won’t need to charge anything, but it would be good to have a gallery of projects I’ve worked on.’
When I climb into bed my head is buzzing with ideas. When sleep eventually overtakes me, I swear there’s a smile on my face and no hint of a nightmare anywhere. Only the soft purring of the furry little ball curled up against my leg breaks the silence.