Forbidden Addiction (Forbidden, Book #4)

by R. L. Kenderson

  She was already going to be scared enough as it was with having sex; she did not need to know how big he was yet.

  She sighed, but at least she stopped glaring at him. “I’m not a virgin, you know.”

  Dante quickly hid his surprise. He never really thought about whether she was a virgin or not, but now that she’d said it out loud, it was clear he had assumed that.

  “No, I didn’t know that. You don’t really tell me much, Phoenix. I’m going at this blind, you know.”

  Phoenix sighed again. “You’re right. I’m the one who asked you to help me, so I should be a little more forthcoming.”

  This time, he hid his anticipation. Play it cool, man. Do not let her know how interested you are.

  “That would be nice,” he managed to say with a perfectly straight face.

  “Can we sit back down?”

  “Of course.”

  They both sat on the side of his bed.

  “I’m not going to tell you everything,” she said. “I can’t tell you everything. It’s just too hard.”

  Dante tried not to feel disappointed. He should be happy that she was opening up about anything. “Okay,” he agreed with a nod.

  “So, some unfortunate stuff happened to me when I was younger.”

  Dante doubted unfortunate was the word to describe what had happened to Phoenix. Unfortunate was a young girl’s first boyfriend moving away. She did not have these issues because of something unfortunate happening.

  “Because of that,” she continued, “I’ve never felt comfortable with having people close to me and touching me, but I wanted to have as normal a life as possible. I was young and started dating this guy. He pushed me to have sex with him. He was young, too, and probably had no idea what he was doing, but neither did I. It was over in less than five minutes. There was no leading up to the moment or anything. He just stuck his dick in me and pretty much came. Then, he rolled off me and acted like he’d rocked my world. I hated the whole thing. What a way to lose your virginity, huh? Anyway, I thought it was because it was the first time for both of us, but it was always the same. It was awful.”

  Dante was getting upset. Anyone could see that Phoenix had issues. He wanted to find the little shit who’d taken Phoenix’s virginity and shake him until he apologized to this woman. He realized that young guys didn’t know what they were doing, but Phoenix was the wrong person for that.

  “So, after that, I decided that maybe it was the guy, and I needed to find someone older who knew what they were doing. I dated this guy who was five years my senior, and things were”—she rolled her eyes—“okay, I guess. Better than my first boyfriend. But I still never really enjoyed it and only did it to make him happy. He ended up cheating on me because I was too boring in bed. It turned out that I’d put myself through it all those times for nothing because he was getting it better from someone else.”

  Dante closed his eyes. Oh, Phoenix.

  No wonder she didn’t like sex. With two selfish lovers for someone who needed to be taken care of, of course her experiences had ended up being terrible.

  “So, now, you see why I think you’re just wasting your time with all this,” she told him, squaring her shoulders. “I don’t like sex, and I’m not good at it.”

  “Thank you for trusting me with all that. I know it wasn’t easy.”

  She lifted a shoulder.

  “But I have a couple of questions for you.”

  “Okay.”

  “I need you to be honest.”

  She nodded cautiously. “Okay.”

  “I’m not even going to ask if either of those…guys got you off.” There was no way he would refer to those lousy males as men. “But did they ever try?”

  “I don’t…think so?”

  Dante wanted to roll his eyes, but his reaction was toward the fumbling idiots and not at Phoenix. “Was that a question or a statement?”

  “Well, they just had sex with me and expected me to like it. So, I always assumed they knew what they were doing, and there was something wrong with me.”

  “Did you know that something like eighty percent of women can’t have an orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone? The study was done on humans, but obviously, there are shifters and vampires who can’t either.”

  Phoenix furrowed her brows. “I think I saw a headline with that or something in one of Tegan’s magazines, but I never really paid it attention.”

  “So, my next question is, when you have an orgasm while I’m feeding from you, are those the only ones you’ve ever had?”

  Her face flushed. “Yes.”

  Dante nodded, but he was mentally giving himself a pat on the back. Now was not the time to brag or feel overconfident. “And do you like them?”

  He would have thought it was impossible, but her face got redder.

  “Yes. It’s…” She cleared her throat. “It’s part of the reason I like feeding you and why I keep coming back. As weird as it is, it’s the most normal sexual relationship I’ve ever had.”

  Dante wanted to pump his fist in the air, but he played it cool. “There you have it, Phoenix. There’s nothing wrong with you. There was something wrong with those jackasses who thought they knew what they were doing.”

  She skeptically looked at him. “I don’t know, Dante.”

  Dante touched her hair and breathed in her sunshine scent. “I do. And, thankfully, I’m confident enough about that for both of us.”

  She cocked her head and raised her brow. “Does this mean, we’re having sex now?”

  Dante laughed. Oh, no.

  Phoenix still had a past, so they were going to take it slow. But knowing that he might be able to fix some of the damage that had been caused made him want to celebrate.

  “No, Red, it just means that it’s time for us to start season two.”

  THE FOLLOWING DAY, Phoenix was beginning to feel trapped. She couldn’t stop thinking about the night before with Dante, but she was stuck with Kenzie in the box of a room that she called an office at the hotel where she worked. Phoenix wanted out of there. What she could really use was a run through the forest in her cat form. Instead, she had to settle for standing up and pacing the human’s office.

  “You are more than welcome to leave. I am perfectly safe here at work,” Kenzie said from her desk where she was typing on the computer. “I can call you when I’m done.”

  “No, I have to stay here.”

  She had been given this assignment by her alpha, and she wasn’t going to disappoint him. But, if someone hadn’t needed to come in to work on a Saturday morning, this all could have been avoided.

  Okay, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t Kenzie’s fault that Phoenix was feeling overwhelmed emotionally. But, still…if the human would just hurry up.

  Kenzie looked up from her monitor and smiled sweetly at Phoenix. “Then, you’d better sit your ass down before I kick you out.”

  Phoenix narrowed her eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

  Kenzie picked up the phone. “Security? Yes—”

  Phoenix plopped her butt down in a chair and scowled.

  “Never mind, Wayne. False alarm,” Kenzie said before hanging up the phone.

  “You know, if I wasn’t going to die from boredom in a few minutes, I could see us being friends. You don’t put up with shit. I like that.”

  Kenzie snorted. “Give me fifteen minutes to finish up, and we can get out of here. Or will you already be dead by then?”

  Phoenix pretended to look at the clock and think about it. “Nope, I can make it.”

  “Thank God. If you sit there and stay quiet, I promise you that I will be done soon.”

  “Got it,” Phoenix said. She pulled out her phone to waste some time. She didn’t have much to do on it though. She wasn’t on Facebook or Instagram or any other social media. She didn’t get the appeal.

  Just as she was about to open up one of her games, she got a text.

  Dante: Are you doing okay today?

  Okay was such
a relative word. Technically, she was okay. She was alive and in good health. But, emotionally, she was kind of a wreck. She couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation she’d had with Dante last night. And that kiss.

  Kisses actually.

  Phoenix had needed to know if her reaction had been some fluke, so she had kissed Dante again as they lay on his bed. But that was as far as it had gone. There was no touching below the neck, not sexually anyway. The part that Phoenix was really tripping balls over was that she wanted more than just a kiss.

  This was a whole new experience for her, and she felt out of her realm.

  She hated it.

  Phoenix: Doing well. You gave me a lot to think about.

  Dante: All good stuff, I hope. You’re not going to change your mind, are you?

  Never. Just because Dante was putting her mind in overdrive did not mean she wanted to stop going through with their plan.

  Phoenix: Nope.

  “Dude, do you have something going on with Dante? He’s hot. Yum.”

  Phoenix snapped her phone against her chest and glared at Kenzie. “Excuse me, why don’t you mind your own business?”

  Kenzie shrugged, as if being rude was no big deal. “What’s the fun in that? Besides, I called your name like fifty times, and you didn’t answer. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t even notice me coming over to stand right next to you. Thank heavens no one came in to attack me.”

  Phoenix immediately felt ashamed. “You are right. My apologies.”

  Kenzie rolled her eyes. “Oh my God. It was a joke, Phoenix. Sheesh, you need to lighten up.”

  “Oh,” Phoenix said.

  “So, seriously, what’s going on with Dante?”

  Phoenix stared at Kenzie. They barely knew each other, and she was supposed to spill her guts?

  Kenzie studied Phoenix. “You know what? Save that question. You and I are going somewhere first. Then, we can talk about this Dante situation.”

  “I don’t think—”

  Kenzie laughed and opened her office door. “No, Phoenix, I think your problem is that you think too much. Now, let’s get out of here.”

  Phoenix stepped in front of Kenzie, so she could look down the hall and exit first. She let her charge outside, and they got in Kenzie’s car. Phoenix didn’t say anything until they pulled up to a strip mall where a storefront advertised Nails, Nails, Nails.

  “What are you doing?” Phoenix asked.

  “We’re getting pedicures.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Oh, come on, Phoenix. My best friend just got home from the hospital and won’t be going anywhere for a little while. And I’ve been spending a lot of time with Sawyer. I love him, but I need some girl time. I thought we could get pedicures and talk about Dante. You’re all I have now.” Kenzie stuck out her bottom lip.

  Dramatic much?

  Phoenix didn’t blink. “I’m unaffected by your female wiles.”

  Phoenix didn’t tell Kenzie that she actually kind of wanted to talk about Dante. When she thought about it, Kenzie would be the perfect candidate. Phoenix wasn’t close to her, and even though she was mated to a shifter, she was human. While Phoenix would listen to her advice, she wouldn’t care too much if Kenzie judged her.

  “But what the hell? Why not?”

  Kenzie clapped her hands. “Yay.”

  They exited the car and entered the building. Phoenix immediately hated the smell.

  Kenzie noted her wrinkled nose. “You get used to it.”

  “If you say so.” This was why Phoenix didn’t do girlie things.

  A lady stepped up to the counter. “Can I help you?”

  Kenzie stepped forward. “Yes, we need two pedicures, please.”

  The receptionist looked down at Phoenix’s feet. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Why?” Kenzie followed the lady’s gaze. “Oh, Phoenix, really?”

  “What?”

  Kenzie put her head in her hands. “Combat boots? You can’t wear combat boots after a pedicure.”

  Phoenix held up a finger. “Let me remind you, this was your idea.”

  Kenzie looked up just as the receptionist smiled.

  “You know, I think we have something she could wear after she’s done. We bought a bunch of clearance flip-flops for things like this. We’ve just never used them before.”

  “Perfect,” Kenzie said.

  Oh, great, Phoenix thought.

  “Let me just go and tell the pedicurist to set up,” the receptionist said.

  Phoenix was getting more uncomfortable, the longer they waited, but when another lady led them back and put their feet in the hot water, she admitted it was wonderful. No wonder women did these all the time. Not that she was going to become a regular, but she could understand the desire to do so. Phoenix could only take so much feminine stuff. Thankfully, their pedicurist left them alone to soak, and they were the only patrons in the salon, so no one was around to witness the rare baring of her feminine side.

  “So”—Kenzie wiggled her eyebrows—“tell me what’s going on with Dante. I know you’ve fed him once or twice, but is there something else going on?”

  Maybe it was the hot water on her tired muscles or the massage chair kneading her back, but she was lying back against the chair with her eyes closed, and it was like she heard someone else say, “I asked Dante to take me during my next mating heat and get me pregnant.”

  “Holy shit, Phoenix. When you bring the girl talk, you really bring it.”

  Phoenix opened her eyes and looked at her companion, who was sitting forward and bracing herself on the armrests. “Sorry, I didn’t really mean to just spit it out like that.”

  “Do not apologize. This is exciting stuff. Tell me more.”

  Phoenix shrugged. “What else is there to tell? I just said everything.”

  Kenzie sat back in a huff. “Forget what I said. Your girl talk needs work.”

  Phoenix sighed. This was why she didn’t do stuff like this. Women were hard to please.

  “I’m kind of jealous of this whole mating-heat thing. To have days and days in a row that are all dedicated to sex?” The human shivered. “Amazing.”

  “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. One, we can only get pregnant twice a year, unlike you who has twelve times. And, if we’re not mated, it really sucks to spend it alone. Plus, it’s hard for us to get pregnant during those two times we’re actually fertile.”

  “But that’s only if you’re trying to have a baby. Otherwise, you have awesome birth control.”

  Phoenix lifted a shoulder. “I guess.” Phoenix suddenly thought of something, and she sat forward. “Listen, no one knows about my pregnancy plan. No one. You can’t tell anyone, even your mate.”

  Kenzie shrugged. “Sure. No problem,” she said. She lay back and closed her eyes.

  Phoenix studied her. Was she saying that because she was lying and going to tell Sawyer anyway, or did she really mean it?

  Kenzie opened one eye. “What?”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Of course.”

  “You don’t feel bad, not telling your mate?”

  Kenzie closed her eye and reached over and patted Phoenix’s arm. “Unlike you, Phoenix, I know how to do girl time. And the first rule of girl time is that stuff stays at girl time. Your secret is safe with me.”

  Phoenix leaned back and relaxed. “Thank you.”

  “Your wardrobe, however, is not.”

  “What?”

  “What?” Kenzie was all wide-eyed and innocent-looking.

  “You just said…” Phoenix started.

  “Lie back and enjoy yourself. You can worry later.”

  Phoenix hit the settings on her massage chair and smiled. It was kind of nice, having a friend.

  LEXINE SLAMMED THE cupboard door and moved on to the next as she tried to find something to eat when her phone rang. She looked at the display and saw Lucas’s name.

  Panic came over her whole body,
and she lost her appetite. She hadn’t heard from any of her new friends since the night they’d drugged her, tied her up, and violated her. She’d been waiting for them to contact her, and she knew she needed them to in order for her to take them down. But part of her had been relieved at the same time. She hadn’t wanted to speak to that filthy excuse for a vampire. Just thinking about him made her skin crawl.

  Lexine cautiously picked up her phone and hit answer. “Hello?”

  “Lexine, baby, how are you doing? Going by your blood, I’d say you’re shitting your pants.”

  Lexine stiffened. She hadn’t bothered closing the blood connection because Lucas wasn’t there. But, apparently, he was close enough to feel her. He had to be near the property. And she cursed herself for leaving her guard down. She’d foolishly thought that she was safe at home, in the compound. She immediately put up a wall.

  Lucas tsked. “Now, now, is that any way to treat your former lover, baby?”

  “You don’t get to call me baby,” she bit out.

  “That’s not what you said when I was fucking you, doll.”

  “Yeah, well, I obviously had a moment of temporary insanity.” Asshole.

  “Bitch, you’re lucky that I didn’t take your blood when I had you in my bed. I should’ve done it then.”

  “Yeah, and I should have taken yours.”

  It would have been really nice if she had the same advantage on him that he had on her. Especially when she hadn’t fully recovered. Sterling’s donation to her had helped, but she’d need to feed again soon. She was lucky Lucas hadn’t killed her.

  “Now, now, Lexine, we couldn’t risk you getting knocked up, could we? Although…that would have discredited you even more. Damn, maybe I should have let you feed from me.”

  Lexine almost gagged. “If I had your spawn inside me, I would cut it from my body.”

  Instead of making Lucas mad, as she’d intended, he laughed.

  “Hey, Lexine?” her brother called from the hallway.

  “Hold on,” she told Lucas. She set her phone against her abdomen to hopefully muffle the sound. “Yeah?” she answered her brother.