CJ’s firm body closes in behind me, hands pulling my hair up and away while Kit shouts from the doorway, “Melanie, is everything okay in there?”
“Just give us a minute, okay, man?” CJ mutters something unpleasant about Kit.
“Maybe, mon ami. First answer me this, did you cheat on her?”
I will my stomach to stop heaving so I can hear how CJ responds. “Hell no, I didn’t. Mel’s my God damned wife. Did you sleep with her?”
Even though I can’t see it, I hear Kit’s grin. “Merde, what kind of shit you think I be? Sleeping with da pregnant wife of my best friend?”
My husband heaves a heavy sigh, and standing so close, I can actually feel when the tension falls away from his body.
Then he wipes my face with a paper towel. “Baby, we need to talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you.” Just because he says he didn’t sleep with another woman, doesn’t mean I have to believe him.
“Yeah, you do.” His hands slide gently over my stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me about our baby?”
I turn and face him. “When, CJ? Before or after you cheated?”
“Sit down and stay calm, okay?”
“No. You need to go.” I cross my arms over my chest and glare. Unfortunately, I ruin the whole effect by turning to the sink and puking once again.
Once more, he slips behind me, his rock-hard body against my back. When my stupid stomach stops retching, he whispers in my ear. “I lied.”
“About our vows? Yeah, I got that.” I run the water, making the ugly stink disappear.
Then he lets go, opens the fridge, and grabs me a bottle of sparkling water. “No, baby. I lied about cheating on you. I wanted you to get so mad that you’d leave me. I didn’t think… Shit. I really wasn’t thinking. I was trying to protect you.”
Hello? A whistle blows a mental timeout in my brain. Then, after pausing for a good, long time, I manage to keep my voice steady. “Let me get this straight. You thought that saying you were cheating wouldn’t hurt me?”
“No. I get that. I didn’t want to physically hurt you, baby.” His hazel eyes have deep, dark circles with tiny creases on the side.
I believe him but it doesn’t make any sense. As far as I know, except on the field, the man has never laid a hand on anyone.
“Chance? I have no idea what you’re trying to say but if you think you can screw around and come back to me when she dumps you, you’re out of your mind.”
His thumb and index finger hold my chin with a gaze so intense that his eyes glisten. “That’s just it. I was out of my mind. Oh hell, I mean I thought I was.”
Still confused, I lead him by the hand over to the kitchen table and sit. I figure I owe our baby that much. Maybe, when this is all over, we can figure out some kind of visitation rights.
He scoots his chair close, the inner part of his knees clamping mine shut. “I was trying to keep you safe. From me. My NFL doctor told me I had Chronic traumatic encephalopathy. I couldn’t put you through that.”
Oh shit.
“How bad is it?” I read about CTE but it can’t be. CJ’s brain is perfect, except for all this horse shit.
When I shiver, his hands run up and down my arms. “That’s just it. The doctor lied. Or maybe he honestly didn’t read the tests right. Who knows. But he was wrong. When I got a second opinion, they found normal wear and tear. It’s a warning, for sure. I’m leaving football at the end of the season. But I’m okay, baby. I’m fucking okay and I’m so damn sorry I hurt you.”
My emotions are all over the place and probably because of the hormones, I’m not sure what to do or say. Hearing his words gives me hope but what if it’s just another lie?
“There was no other woman?” I lean over, my hands slip to his knees, and I hold on tight.
“No, sweetheart. It’s only been you from the very first moment I laid eyes on you.” He holds his breath and there’s no mistaking the desperation in his look.
Oh my God. He’s telling the truth.
“You b-big j-jerk!” I punch him hard in the chest, twice.
Then the tight band gripping my heart snaps and the kitchen tiles turn from gray to vibrant reds and oranges, as if I’d taken off dark sunglasses.
His large hands cup my sunburned cheeks. “Some guys get real angry. That’s why I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you.”
“Oh CJ. How could you?” I jump onto his lap and hug him for the longest time.
As I dig my face into his chest and inhale his unique scent, I know he wants me to say I forgive him but it isn’t that easy.
After a while, I slip off from him and hold out my hand. “Let’s walk.”
He takes my offer and I lead him out of the kitchen and head back down the deck stairs. We follow a dirt path lined with sea grass and end up at a small dock. The fishing boat that’s normally tethered there is gone so I’m guessing Kit won’t be back for a while.
In this small bay, the water laps against the wood, more like a lake than an ocean. We stand silently and look across the sparkling water, just holding hands.
I sigh and lean into him. “You broke my heart so bad, it’s hard to pretend it didn’t happen.”
He squeezes my fingers then goes down onto one knee, to face to my belly. “I swear I’ll do anything to make it up to you both.”
“I don’t know if you can fix this.” My hands slide through his spikey dark hair.
“You still want out? After everything I’ve said?” He looks up at me, so damn sad and I wish I could just say what he needs to hear but my new independent self needs to speak her mind.
“You can’t just waltz back into my life and expect to pick up where we left off. That’s not fair. Just give me some time to absorb all this.”
He kisses my belly. “I’ll give you guys whatever you need. Just say you forgive me.”
“I’ll try. I promise.” That’s the best I can do for now.
Then we sit on the dock, toes dangling in the water, and talk about everything that’s happened for the last couple weeks. It seems he’s missed me as much as I missed him. He shares with me the fear of being sick, the joy at the doctor’s office, and the despair when Kit answered my cell phone.
Then it’s my turn. I apologize for not telling him about the baby and for making him think Kit and I had been sleeping together.
By the day’s end, the slate is wiped clean.
Chapter 11
CJ
Kit’s boat is full of fish when he returns and he offers that for dinner along with his place for another night. I figure it’s best to find us a place of our own. I thank him for being such a good friend, even though I’m sure he wanted to sleep with my wife. What man in his right mind wouldn’t?
The bottom line is, that when Mel needed me most, he was there and I wasn’t. In my world, that means I owe him. So, me and Mel thank him for his kindness and head out to a small bungalow with a private beach.
We spend a long day hanging out on the sand, talking about our relationship and what it will be like to have a baby. I may not get everything right but I’m certain that she’ll keep me on track. When I tell her that, she laughs so sweetly my chest tightens. For the first time since I screwed up, I really think we’re going to make it.
Dinner is cold conch, a healthy portion of salad, and a large plate of perfectly ripe fruit. Normally, we’d have wine but I abstain with her. We’re in this baby thing together. Then, as the sun sets, we walk along the water’s edge and the wind blows her long blue dress. She reminds me of some kind if goddess on an ancient vase.
When I stop to brush my lips across hers, it’s more of a question.
Do you still want me?
The answer’s in how the centers of her blue eyes grow dark and how her soft palms wrap around the back of my neck. “Promise me, no matter what, you’ll never leave me, not even for my own good.”
“I swear.” I pull her up along my body so my mouth meets hers. If it ta
kes forever, I’ll kiss away those thoughts and any like them.
Embracing her gently, I set her down on her toes and hold her cheeks to kiss her at a better angle. When her fingertips dig into my scalp, shivers run up and down the center of my back. Even though it’s only been a week, it feels more like a lifetime since we made love.
Watching the sun set, our passions rise, and my hard want presses into her abs. There’s a slight difference in her shape and it makes me want her all the more. We’re a family now. Everything is different.
Barely able to pull my lips away, I lift her into my arms, and carry her into the beach house. Then I set her on the king-sized bed, strip off my bathing shorts, and hop in next to her. My cock throbs when she tears off her sundress and my hands go right for her belly. Caressing her lovely sun-kissed skin, I find her breasts and squeeze the way she likes best.
Her eyes go wide, and she grabs my hands. “Whoa.”
“Shit. Sorry. Did I hurt you?” Wow, I thought I was being really careful.
“They’re kind of sore. Like before my period, only worse. Sorry.” A half smile crosses her face.
“Don’t apologize, baby. Is it better like this?” Super-aware of how rough my hands must be, I feather my lips across her nipples until she bends toward me and moans.
Then my tongue laves her collar bone, her chin, and I whisper into her ear, “I love them. I love every part of you. I love how you’re changing.”
I tickle her lids, forcing eyes open where the centers burn black, wide with want. After enjoying her warm, soft lips, I kiss the tip of her nose while her small hands caress my chest and slip up and down my abs, just shy of where I’m dying to have her hand wrapped around me.
Grabbing her hair, I pull, gaining access to her lovely neck and kiss every lovely inch. Then, the need to taste her growing, I straddle one leg over her body, and lean onto my elbows so I can make love to those overly-sensitive breasts.
She arches like she wants more so I lick her gently, until her nipples grow hard and pointing.
“Now, CJ. Sweet Jesus, now.” Her breath comes faster and with my hand at to her heart, I can feel it beating madly.
I can’t help but chuckle at her impatience. Prolonging that ache will increase her enjoyment and tonight, I want to give her that. Slowly, I kiss down her flat abs, past her blond curls and find her pearl within the swollen folds. I nibble and lick, touch and caress, until she grips the sheets, face tight, about to come.
“Don’t close your eyes on me, baby. Stay with me.” I inch up her body, the tip of my cock at her entrance.
When her eyes meet my gaze, I enter slowly and fully, stretching her. She’s slick and warm, and yet ever so tight. I wait, sweat rolling off my body. She needs to let go of the muscle holding me back. When she does, I slide in to the bone, every inch of my length tingling.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you, more.” Her small body arches up causing the tip of my cock to be surrounded in soft folds.
I can’t hold off much longer. “You’ll let me know if I hurt you.”
“I will hurt you if you don’t start moving.” She bucks up hard, our cores meet, and a tear drops down her face.
“Oh shit.” I stop moving.
“No, no. It doesn’t hurt. Feels so incredible. Tears are happy. Go. Please, CJ, go.”
Leaning over, l lick away that salty drop and push in again. When her nails dig into my butt muscles, I hear myself groan. How did I think I could live without this?
Then she locks her ankles around my waist with this side to side dance and I go a little out of my mind. Dammit, but I want her to come first. Pulling out, I thrust in at an angle that hits her G-spot. She shouts, shivers, and goes wild.
I swear we both burst apart at the same moment.
Panting and sweating, still connected, we take our need until spent fully. Then I pull out of her and roll onto my back taking her with me.
Her heart pounds on my chest as I softly caress all the silky skin I can. “I love you so fucking much.”
“Love you more.”
In the morning, it takes me a moment to figure out where I am. With the sounds of waves and the tropical breeze, I bet we both sleep better than we have for days. It’s probably around noon because the sun is so high and it’s warm. Mel is still sound asleep with her blonde hair half out of its pony tail. Her lips are swollen from my kisses, and her beautiful body lies naked beside me. I am so damned lucky she forgave me and will spend the rest of my life showing her.
The sound of a plane overhead gives me pause. Shit. I need to go back to New York. I tickle Mel’s tummy, wondering when she’ll start to show. It was so awesome making love with her, knowing a little life was in her.
Her eyes flutter open, full of love which I don’t deserve.
“Hey.” She smiles and even the Bahama sky is no match for the blue of her eyes.
I kiss her sweet lips. “I didn’t hurt the baby, did I? I was worried my size would dislodge something important.”
Laughing, she turns onto her back and stretches. Then she looks down at her flat stomach. “I don’t think we got anything to worry about. Not yet.”
“Okay. But at some point, we got to stop sex, right?”
“I’m sure you can find out if you Google it.” She giggles. God how I’ve missed the joy she brings into my life.
“I have to leave soon.” I hold my breath, hoping she’s going to come home with me.
When her eyes search my face, I sure hope she sees there what she needs to see because if not, I’ll have to make love to her again and again until she does.
“Private jet?” She kisses me.
“Mmm. Hmmm.” I tickle her ribs and she giggles.
“How much time we got?” She rolls on top of me, opens her legs wide and my cock jumps to attention.
“Maybe 45 minutes.” I hold her waist, lift her up, and she sheathes me on the way down.
With the devil in her eyes, she starts to ride me. “Plenty of time.”
Twenty minutes later we’re laughing and running out the door while I call Jack to come get us. Then, on the plane ride home, she shows me all her lists and I’m impressed.
Maybe I can invite my sister to come up for a while. Being a new mother, she can be there to answer questions and help buy baby stuff. The two of them hit it off last time we went south.
By the time the plane touches down, we’re good. It’s not the same star-crossed-lovers thing that it was and some might even say the honeymoon is over. I’m not sure about that but it’s cool and I like it. It feels solid. Maybe our love isn’t all roses anymore but I never was any good with all that shit, anyhow.
She’s reading her Kindle all intent, then looks up. “Are you sorry you married me?”
“Never.” Shit. It may take longer than I thought for her to get over me messing with her self-esteem.
“Why did you say there was someone else in the picture?”
“I wanted you to be mad at me.” I don’t tell her that every time in the past I’ve said that, the women either slapped my face or threw something at me. I always preferred that to tears.
“It really hurt to think of someone else in your arms.”
Ah fuck, she’s crying again. I unlatch my seatbelt so I can pull her into my lap. “There’s never been anyone since you. A hundred women could be dancing around naked in my bedroom and my cock wouldn’t even twitch.”
She rolls her eyes but stops crying. “Sorry. Stupid hormones. Guess you best get used to it. From what I read it probably will get worse before it gets better.”
“I can’t wait.” I grin and rub her belly.
“Get serious.”
“No, really. I can’t wait for you to get all big and round with big boobs.” My hands rub up and down her body, imagining what it will be like.
I will never mess up again.
I think she’s done, but she turns with her hands around my neck and fires off another question. “Why did
you think you would hurt me. I did some research, and that’s not a given.”
The truth is hard but if I’m going to make our marriage work, I got to start trusting her fully. “I think my dad had CTE. He was a professional football player but they said it was Alzheiemer’s. Whatever it was, he was pissed off and took it out on me and Andy.
“Was it bad?”
I nod.
“I thought you had a perfect childhood.”
“I lied. Don’t like to talk about it. He got taken away in handcuffs when I was about four.”
She takes my large callused hands in her small soft ones and kisses my knuckles. “Well that explains why your family never talks about him. I just figured he was out of the picture.”
“I was the one who called 911. Andy was eight. My sister was just a baby.” It’s surprising that this is only the second time I’ve talked about this and already its easier.
“Where was your mom?”
“At that point, she was mostly in denial. You don’t have to worry, baby. I will never hurt you.”
She looks up at me and holds my gaze, a bit of that grit I love so much in how she juts out her chin. “And you don’t worry, either. I won’t ever let you hurt me or the baby. If it ever came to that, there’s medications, okay? But we’ll see it through together. Me and you. Always.”
In sickness and in health, that’s what being married is all about. I get it, now.
Chapter 12
6 months later.
Mel
Gabi, my little angel, latches onto a breast for the first time and like I was taught, I take a deep breath and think of a happy place. Just like that, the last twelve hours of labor are erased from my memory banks. Now I understand why when I asked other women what giving birth was like, they just shrugged. The only thing I’ll ever remember is the absolute joy in this moment.
When my baby starts moving her little mouth, tugging on my nipple, milk flows and my other breast is so heavy it leaks.
I whisper, “Oh my God, CJ, she’s actually drinking my milk.”
My husband, who’s never stopped holding some part of my body during the whole ordeal is hypnotized, mouth gaping wide in this open smile, watching us.
Final Play: A Sports Novella (Players Book 3) Page 6