“I’d much rather talk about you and Adrian.” Danica sat up, crossed her legs and leaned against the white headboard. “Dad hasn’t dated since Sheila left, and this is the first time Sonia has come over for dinner. No one’s been at the house since I brought Reid home, so it’s kinda nice.” She shrugged. “I don’t really know her well, other than she’s an Ortega and had a drinking or drug problem, but she’s been sober for years now. She’s been in town more now that Lorrie Ann is expecting. You know she’s Lorrie Ann’s real mom?”
“Yeah. Wait! Lorrie Ann’s pregnant? How far? She doesn’t look like it.”
“Six months, which is totally unfair. I was waddling by four months.” Danica crossed her arms.
“You were carrying twins.” Jackie looked at Nikki. “When did you start showing?”
The question threw her for a moment. She never thought about that time in her life. It was easier to pretend it didn’t exist. She ran her hand over her taut midsection. “At six months I could still hide it. I think it wasn’t until eight that I couldn’t wear jeans anymore, and all my shirts were tight.”
“Was it hard? Do you think about him a lot?”
She stared at the ceiling. Posters of all her high school celebrity crushes hung there staring back at her.
“I haven’t told Adrian.” Her throat suddenly hurt. The words didn’t flow easily.
“Do you think he’ll be angry you didn’t tell him?”
“After watching his reaction to Charlotte, I’m not sure how he’ll feel.” Well, she was, and that was what scared her. She really needed to get over this fear of disappointing people and just learn to deal with the consequences.
“You have to tell him. If he isn’t supportive and can’t understand what you did was an unselfish act of love, then he doesn’t deserve you.” Danica leaned forward and tucked a strand of Nikki’s stray curls behind her ear.
It was an act their mom had done a million times when they were little. The urge to cry gripped her heart. No, she was done with tears. “I think I’ve hesitated because I’m afraid of his disappointment, and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I don’t think of it as the unselfish act you think it was.”
Both sisters wrapped her in their arms. Danica sat back and looked Nikki in the eye. “Have you gotten any counseling?”
All she could do was shake her head.
Jackie whispered close to her ear. “You need to talk to a professional.”
Danica took her hand. “There’s the Hill Country Pregnancy Care Center. We’ve volunteered there, and our church has financially supported them. They have counselors who can help you sort through your feelings. I know as Bergmanns we’re taught at an early age to avoid emotions because they’re messy and ugly. It would’ve been better if Mom had been around, but she wasn’t. If you’re going to have any kind of real future, you need to be okay with this.”
Jackie played with Nikki’s hair. “A future I hope includes us. Please don’t leave us again. We just got you back, and we want to keep you.”
Nikki nodded and swallowed the hard knot in her throat. Would Adrian want to have a future with her if he knew about her past?
Chapter Eleven
Adrian lowered his gaze a bit and made sure eighteen-year-old Nathan looked him in the eye. He held the handshake firm and waited. The new father sighed and nodded. “Yes, sir. I’ll call if I need anything.”
With a nod, Adrian let go of the young man’s hand. “You’re not alone. It will get overwhelming, but you’ve made a commitment for the long haul. They’re counting on you to be a man now. If you start wanting to run or walk out, call me. I’ll help you through it. I’ve been there. I know how scary it can be when they need you and you don’t know if you can do it.”
“Thank you, Mr. De La Cruz.” Seventeen-year-old Jazmine stood at the door with their newborn daughter on her hip. The young father joined her and took the baby. One smile and they were gone.
Adrian closed his eyes and covered them in prayer. With a sigh, he started packing the refreshments Karly had brought. Just a few carrots and water bottles were left. Her husband, Tyler Childress, had called during their meeting because her son had fallen and cut open his forehead, again.
He told her to go and he’d take care of everything. After putting away the chairs, he hit the switch with his free hand. Turning down the hallway, he almost dropped the box.
“Nikki?” She was the last person he expected to see at the pregnancy center. “What are you doing here?”
She had the look of a wild animal caught in a trap. Her eyes wide, she stared at him before darting her gaze around the hall. Was she looking for an escape?
“Are you okay? Do you need help?”
Her breathing slowed and she gave him a tight smile. “I think I’m lost. I was looking for the door to the north parking lot.”
“You’re in the wrong hall. If you want to walk with me, I gotta put these in the kitchen then I’m heading that way. Are you with Jackie?” The twins had helped with event planning in the past, but he couldn’t figure out why Nikki was here and acting strange. “Nikki, I enjoyed Sunday. I’d love to do it again.” He gave a bit of time to reply, which she didn’t, so he plowed ahead. “I thought I’d pick you up at six for our Thursday-night music night.”
Big blue eyes just stared at him, as if he spoke gibberish. Or she was thinking of a polite way to turn him down.
When he’d taken her home, he would’ve told anyone who asked that she enjoyed herself as much as he had. Maybe the kiss freaked her out. She made it clear she didn’t want to get emotionally involved, but now he was getting mixed signals. “Have you decided to volunteer here?”
“No.” Hands in her pockets, she rocked on the balls of her feet as he shifted the case of water to the other arm. “I came to talk to a counselor Danica recommended.”
Standing there, he turned to her. Now he was concerned. “Are you...?”
Her eyes went wide and she shook her head. “No! I have something that I needed to talk to someone about that...” She looked away from him. Her breathing went up a notch. “Before we talk about another date, I need to tell you something.” Her long legs ate up the length of the hallway as she moved ahead of him. “For anyone else it might not make a difference, but with your own history, I think it might be a game changer.”
Stopping in the lobby area, she looked around. She probably just realized she didn’t know where she was going when she took the lead. He stepped past her and opened the door to the kitchen area.
“Hey, Adrian.” One of the program staff sat at the table. She smiled and made small chitchat. Then, gathering some supplies, she said ’bye and left.
He started stacking water bottles in the refrigerator. “What did you want to talk about?” He glanced over his shoulder.
Nikki had the don’t-get-close-to-me look in place. She scanned the hallway. “Maybe in the parking lot?”
“Sure.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Sounds like top secret stuff. I used to pretend I was a spy. I made George be the Russian spy.”
A half smile pulled at one side of her mouth. “Nothing so dramatic.”
They walked in silence as they made their way through the corridors. Adrian tried to imagine what she needed to say that would involve the pregnancy center.
Hands in her pockets, she had yet to look at him. “You’re a counselor to the pregnant teens?”
“No, I’m one of the mentors to the teens that are parents. The counselors work with them when they first come in. If they decide to keep the baby, they suggest they become part of the support group. I mainly work with the teen dads and sometimes the grandparents.”
“Do you ever work with the parents who give the babies up for adoption?”
“No. I know it’s one of the options the counselors
talk about, but I just mentor the ones that want to raise their baby.” Her father’s truck was across the now-empty parking lot. Adrian stopped in front of her door. “So what does this have to do with what you want to talk to me about?”
She crossed her arms and looked to the empty playground. “Before you ask me out again, I think it would be fair for you to know the truth.”
Leaning against the truck, he waited. A slight tug at his gut made him uncomfortable. He really liked Nikki and didn’t want anything to change that.
Shifting from one leg to another, she flexed the knee with the brace.
“Is your knee hurting? We can go sit on the picnic tables.”
“No, no. It’s fine.” A breeze rustled the leaves in the giant live-oak trees. A sliver of the sun’s last rays hung over the hilltops, casting pinks and red across the clouds. Nikki seemed fascinated with the colors in the sky.
“Nikki. Whatever it is, just tell me. You saw me at my worst on Saturday, and you didn’t run screaming for the hills. I can handle it, and we can go from there.”
He reached out and tucked away a loose strand of hair that was caught in her eyelashes.
She looked at the ground and nodded. “The reason I left Clear Water was because I was pregnant, and I didn’t want my father or sisters to know. I was too ashamed.”
He straightened. It couldn’t be true. “That was the beginning of your senior year.” He tried to think back to whom she was dating. “I don’t remember you being with anyone.”
She turned away from him and shrugged. “That doesn’t matter. He didn’t want anything to do with the baby. I was so ashamed. I went to my great-aunt Gloria, my mother’s aunt. She helped me take care of everything.” Lips firm, she locked her gaze with his. “I gave my baby up for adoption. It was the best option for us at the time.”
Everything inside him froze. He couldn’t have heard right. “You gave your baby away?”
“Aunt Gloria had a grandson that was married, and they weren’t able to have a child. She went to them first. They were so grateful to have the baby. It was an open adoption, but only recently could I handle thinking about him.”
His heart was pounding in his ears. A headache was starting. Rubbing his face didn’t make it go away. “So like Charlotte, you walked out and just went back to life like nothing happened?” He couldn’t believe this.
After all the years, the first woman he was interested in exploring a future with, and she turned out just like Charlotte. What was wrong with him?
He didn’t want to say anything he’d regret. Taking a deep breath and relaxing his jaw, Adrian pulled his truck keys out of his pocket. “Thanks for telling me. I have to go get Mia from my mom’s.”
“Adrian?”
He turned back to her, his jaw tight again. He looked over her shoulder to the sun disappearing. He had no business feeling betrayed, but he did. “When are you heading back to Arizona?” He could use some distance from her right now.
A long silence fell between them. Then she answered. “I told Mia I’d be here for the July rodeo to watch her ride.”
“She’s only gonna hurt more when you leave. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t encourage a friendship with her. She has enough to deal with right now because of Charlotte showing back up in our lives.”
“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. I—”
“You might not mean to, but I think it’s best if you keep your distance from now on. I’ll see you around.” He couldn’t stand there any longer without wanting to yell. How did some people find it so easy to walk away? Was it just the way they were wired? Was it because of her mother’s death? Or her father’s marriage to Sheila?
All he knew was he couldn’t afford to have someone he loved walk out on him again. And this time Mia was old enough to feel the pain.
He glanced in his rearview mirror to make sure she got in the truck and it started. What he saw took his breath. Nikki leaned over the steering wheel, her shoulders shaking. It looked as if she was sobbing.
Changing gears, he was about to turn around and go back to her. But she lifted her head and he realized she was talking on the phone. He waited. Should he go offer her help? Would it be better if she didn’t know he saw her crying? One thing he knew about her: she hated to look weak.
After one last glance to reassure himself she would be all right, he put the truck in Drive and headed home. Relationships complicated life.
Mia wanted him to date so he’d have someone in his life when she grew up. That thought didn’t sit well with him. One day, she’d want to bring some boy to the house, and the idea of her dating just about made his heart break all over again.
* * *
Nikki wiped her face and focused on her sister’s voice. She hated crying. “Kristine was great. Thank you for setting up the appointment. But by chance did you happen to know Adrian would be here tonight?”
There was a slight pause over the connection. “I might have. Did you see him? Did he ask you out?”
Nikki tilted her head back. “I was feeling pretty good after talking with the counselor, so I thought I might as well tell Adrian too. I don’t want any more secrets hovering over my life.”
“How did it go?” Danica’s voice was low and soft.
“About the way I expected. He compared me to Charlotte and asked that I stay away from Mia. He says he doesn’t want her hurt when I leave.”
“That was a jerk move on his part, but I know Adrian. Once he settles down and thinks about it, he’ll understand and feel bad. Are you still leaving? Did you tell him you were thinking about staying?”
“It’s not about me going back to Arizona—he sees me as a woman who abandoned her child. Just like Charlotte abandoned him and Mia.”
“It’s not the same.”
“It kind of is. She left Mia with someone who she knew would love her daughter and take care of her. That’s the exact same thing I did. It was the right choice for all of us. My only regret was not telling you and Daddy. I should have come home sooner.”
“You’re home now. If Adrian doesn’t understand and wants to be a jerk about it, then that’s his problem and he’s missing out on one incredible woman. His loss. Why are men so stupid?”
“Why do we keep loving them?”
“So maybe we’re the stupid ones.” Danica sighed. “I know God has a plan. It’s all for the good. It has to be.”
“I would really like being in on the plan. I’m heading home. Do you need me to stop and get anything?”
“Nope. Just you. I love that you’re home. I really hope you think about making it work here. Even without Adrian, I think this is a good place for you to be.”
“I’ve been praying about it. Like you said, with or without Adrian, I’m liking the possibilities and opportunities I have in Clear Water.” She turned the key and the diesel engine rumbled to life. “We’ll talk when I get home.”
After a quick goodbye, Nikki put the truck in Drive and turned toward home.
Adrian kept popping up in her head no matter how hard she tried to think of something else, anything else.
Would she be able to stay here and build a business and a new life with Adrian so close? She wouldn’t be able to avoid him in a town this small. God, I’m open to Your will. I’ve been lost, and now I turn my life over to You. Show me the path You want me to take.
Silence filled her head. A calm silence. With a deep sigh, she relaxed. She was where she needed to be right now. If Adrian had a problem with the choices she’d made as a young girl, then that was on him. Her sister was right. She deserved someone who loved her completely, flaws and all. The way she loved him.
Love. Had she fallen in love with Adrian De La Cruz? This was not good.
Chapter Twelve
George whistled as he surveyed the phy
sical results of Adrian’s anger. “Brother, you did a number on the room. Man, I had no idea you had all this suppressed.” He studied his twin. “It’s kind of scary.”
Uncomfortable, Adrian leaned against the door frame and looked at the table Nikki had restored. He didn’t like the person he had become over the last week, and George would see right through any lie.
“Are you sure you’re okay? This is worse than I imagined. Really, Adrian. If I hadn’t seen this, I would think all was good with you.” He walked over and picked up a broken piece of the old wall. “Nikki saw this firsthand, and she still went on a date with you? That girl is tough.”
“She read the letter and suggested that I talk to Mia right away. My first instinct was to burn the letter and never tell my daughter.”
George rolled his eyes. “That would have worked out well. And that was sarcasm, in case you misunderstood.” He dropped the drywall and dusted off his hands. “I’m sure she would’ve been pretty mad when she found out Charlotte had been in town.” He walked through the rubble. “You haven’t mentioned Nikki other than you had a great time together. Are you going out again? Sunday night was fun with all of us hanging out. That would make your daughter happy.” He glanced at the door. “I wonder where Nikki is. She’s usually here before us.”
Adrian ran his hand through his hair. “She might be avoiding me.”
George looked up from the pile he started under the window. “What did you do?”
“Why is it my fault? There are certain things I can’t live with.”
His twin stopped what he was doing and narrowed his gaze at Adrian. “You know you can be a self-righteous jerk at times, right? I mean, I love you and all, but none of us are perfect. Not even you, little brother.”
The wood of the table was warm as Adrian ran his fingers along the grain. Was he being a jerk? Probably. “I’m just feeling... I don’t know. Raw?” He rubbed his forehead. “With Charlotte showing up without warning, I feel like I’m caught up in a tornado.”
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