Cal’s mouth lifted in one corner. “What would I do with someone untouched by life? They’d never understand me. Not like you do,” Cal said before capturing her lips once more. This time, it was different. He was soft. Mara couldn’t think any longer. All she could do was feel. She had time later to remind herself of all the ways she could fail him.
Chapter Eight
Cal’s head was pounding. His neck hurt and his eyes burned. To make matters worse, Mara was headed to her trailer for a hair and makeup touch-up with the world’s chattiest artist, Candy. The woman never stopped talking. She told everything to anyone who would listen. Unfortunately, the extent of what the woman knew beyond making someone beautiful was the line of men she slept with. Cal didn’t care that she obviously slept with everyone. He didn’t judge. But his head hurt, and today wasn’t the day. It was Mara’s last day on set. They needed to talk about where they were headed after this. He needed to be sharp. It wasn’t happening.
Mara kept flashing him the side eye, and he kept his features blank. He’d never voiced his dislike of listening to Candy ramble on, but Mara always seemed to know everything about everything when it came to him. He was angry today. Not for anything Mara had done. Cal just hated feeling bad. He’d kept his promise to Mara by continuing to come to the set with her. After the incident at her house, Mara had stayed with him for three nights before returning home. Nothing else had happened since—break-ins or sexually. That last one was Cal’s fault. Touching Mara messed with his head. He’d let his control slip. Now, he thought about her nonstop, and his headaches were back with a vengeance. Control was everything. He needed to find it again.
Mara stopped him outside her trailer. “Do you mind standing outside the door so no one barges in?” She winked as she asked the question, reminding him again how well she knew him.
Cal tried hiding his relief. “Anything you need,” Cal said, closing the door behind Mara before turning his back to it and standing guard.
Five minutes in, he thought he might survive the pain. Then a balding man turned the corner, nearly colliding with Cal. He scurried to a stop. His hazel gaze met Cal’s and the man’s eyes widened in surprise. “Calhoun Walsh. Wow. What brings you here? I haven’t seen you in what…a year?”
Cal bit back a groan. He honestly hadn’t considered he might run into someone who knew him on set. “Hi, Samuel. I’m here—”
“He’s here with me,” Mara said behind him, making him wonder how long she’d been standing there.
Samuel sounded as surprised as he looked when he spoke. “Really? How do you two know each other?” he asked, motioning between them.
Mara laced her arm through Cal’s. “Kieran Steele introduced us.”
“Ah,” Samuel said, his features clearing. “That makes sense. Kieran knows everyone.”
“They’re waiting for you, Mara,” Michael said, appearing from nowhere the way he always did.
Cal swallowed back a sigh of relief. He might make it through this after all.
Samuel nodded. “I’m due back to stage three. It was good seeing you again, Calhoun. Mara, it’s always a pleasure.” Samuel said some other things, but Cal was too busy dying inside to hear a word of it.
To Mara’s credit, she waited until Samuel was out of sight before pouncing. “Calhoun Walsh. Isn’t there a senator by that name?”
Cal kept his gaze locked straight ahead as he walked her back to the set with Michael on their heels. “There is. My father.” He fucking hated this.
“I thought his son was some sort of war hero who spent over a year as a POW before killing one of the top members of some terrorist organization. Didn’t they make a movie about him?”
“Yes,” Cal said through clenched teeth. Cold sweat broke out across Cal’s forehead.
“Well,” Mara said, sounding sad, “I have to hand it to you. You never called me a whiny bitch for complaining about my problems.”
Cal glanced behind him. “Michael, I’ll make sure Mara gets there in just a minute.”
Michael looked up from his phone. Cal didn’t know what Michael saw in Cal’s face, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he walked ahead, leaving them alone. Cal pulled Mara between two trailers where they were out of sight. The moment he had her attention, Cal held her gaze. “There’s nothing small about anything you’ve gone through, and I would never trivialize you.”
Mara’s mouth lifted in one corner and he wished he could read her thoughts. When she finally spoke, butterflies stirred in his stomach. “You’re pretty amazing. You know that, right?”
“I didn’t do anything special. All I did was survive.”
Mara waved away his words. “I’m not talking about the war hero stuff. Although that’s massive. I meant you. You’re amazing.”
Before Mara, Cal had not only thought he’d never care about anyone again, he’d been scared to try. She was perfect for him. He didn’t stand a chance against her.
“I want to kiss you, but I can’t mess up Candy’s work.”
Mara winked. “Later.”
Cal’s mouth went dry at the thought. “Yes, ma’am.”
He didn’t know where they were headed. Maybe after today, she’d never think of him again, but Cal would think of her, and he wanted as many memories as he could get.
Mara said her lines, stood where she was told to stand, and focused where directed. In truth, she didn’t know how she made it through the day. She’d seen the movie based on Cal’s life. It had gutted her and left her feeling empty for days. When he’d told her he’d been in the military and had a prosthetic, her first thought had been IED. No. Cal had been chopped bit by bit. He’d been tortured in ways Mara couldn’t stomach. Tears pressed at the backs of her eyes. Her stomach churned. He’d admitted to sleeping with the light on with shame in his voice. If it were her, she might not ever sleep again. He’d seen things and done things she’d couldn’t even imagine. Things she couldn’t fix. He hadn’t wanted her to know. She couldn’t unlearn the truth. That didn’t mean she had to give in to the temptation to treat him differently. It didn’t mean she was any less anxious to have him alone.
It wasn’t until they headed down the dark road to her house that the truth slammed into her. He might never speak to her again. Cal was under no obligation to ever see her again. He didn’t work for her. They’d wrapped up filming. It was possible they were over.
Before Mara knew what she was doing, her fears filled the air. “I can’t believe you don’t work for me any longer. It’s just now really hit me. Come tomorrow, I won’t see your face anymore. That breaks my heart. I guess I knew—”
Cal jerked the SUV to the side of the road, causing Mara’s speech to die on her lips. She watched in stunned silence as Cal jumped from the vehicle, slamming the door behind him as he went. His every step screamed his rage. The muscles in his jaw jumped. The passenger side door flew open. Mara didn’t have time to ask what was wrong. Cal was everywhere. His tongue brushed hers. The seatbelt disappeared. Mara held on to his shoulders while he squeezed her body against his with one arm. His free hand dove beneath her skirt. She didn’t have time to think. Cal’s kiss was like getting punched in the mouth by heaven. He bit and licked. The man was every bit as rough as she’d expected him to be the first time he’d touched her. He stroked her clit. Cal was ruthless. He didn’t ease or coax her. This man demanded her pleasure. His large fingers stretched her wide. Mara rode them without shame. A mewling sound came from the back of her throat. She didn’t give a fuck. In mere seconds, he had her ready to fly apart. She licked his tongue, savoring the taste of peppermint lingering there. He was fucking amazing—like an act of god overtaking her. Tension coiled in her gut. Her muscles tensed. She reached for what Cal offered, rocking against his hand. She knew she soaked his fingers. Mara could hear him touching her. The pressure building inside her snapped. She cried out and Cal swallowed the sound. Spasms rocked her. Before her head had time to clear, a larger pressure pushed its way inside her. Mara had to take
a breath. Even as wet as she was for him, Cal was fucking huge. She couldn’t think. All she could do was feel. He rocked against her. A moan vibrated against her lips. The tension built inside her again. She grabbed the handle on the ceiling and held on, as Cal buried himself deep. Mara spread her thighs and ground against him—like a crazed woman taking her pleasure.
Cal’s mouth moved to her collarbone. His harsh breaths brushed her skin as he tugged her dress down, baring her breast. Cal’s tongue stroked her nipple. Another orgasm slammed into her without warning. Mara threw her head back and rode the waves. Cal was silent—like a thief, stealing what he wanted. His fingers dug into her skin. He slammed home, making her cry out. Damn, she wanted everything he could give her. She’d been so fucking empty for so goddamn long. All she’d known was pain and helpless rage. Cal gave her life. Made her heart beat again. Tomorrow, she’d probably regret a thousand things about this moment. Right now, fuck all. She didn’t care.
Cal’s motions quickened. Mara held on. His lips found hers. Their tongues battled as his muscles hardened. It was so fucking sexy. Mara relished every second.
“Mara,” he whispered against her lips as he came. She could feel his cock jerking inside her. A pant escaped. She’d never had a sexier moment with anyone. Cal was rough and raw—unforgiving. To her bones, she craved him. Not just his body—him. His time and silent strength. His heated glances, occasional evilness, and intelligence. Her arms tightened around him as their kiss softened. Come tomorrow, she’d probably never see him again. She hadn’t been lying earlier. Her heart would be broken. In the three months he’d been with her, she’d come to depend on his presence. Mara didn’t want to lose him. His gentle kiss screamed he was already gone.
Cal pulled out and warm liquid followed. Everything inside Mara froze.
Cal covered his eyes. “Fuck.” He leaned in and dropped his forehead to Mara’s shoulder. “Fuck,” he repeated, sounding broken and stabbing Mara in the heart. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know... I just... Fuck. I’m clean, and I can’t have kids, because of you know... injuries. Goddamn, Mara. I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know what happened.”
Mara was dying inside, but Cal was on the edge of losing his shit. She couldn’t let that happen. He meant too much. She’d been as much to blame. Mara stroked his back and shushed him, hoping to keep him calm. She swore she could feel his internal freak out building into a real and physical thing. His muscles tensed and relaxed—like even he wasn’t sure what he’d do. Mara couldn’t let it take life. She was afraid—if she did—he’d never recover.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Don’t worry. I’m clean too, and even if you could have kids, I’m on the pill.” She gently pushed him away so she could focus on his face and he could see her earnestness. Mara stroked his face, calming him like a wild animal. She rubbed the line between his eyes, smoothing it out before tracing his eyebrows. “You’re so beautiful. Sometimes I want to stare at you all day.” He didn’t respond, but his muscles relaxed. “It’s not fair for a man to have such perfect eyebrows,” Mara said, stroking his brow again. “I bet you never even touch them.” She ran her finger down his nose. “Terror chokes me at the thought of never seeing you again. How crazy is that? I don’t know how it happened.” The way Cal stared at her screamed he hung on every word. She knew his freak out had more to do with losing control than a condom. He needed her to be the strong one for once. She traced his lips. “I think about you more than I should.” Cal lightly kissed her fingertips. Mara breathed past the flutter the pressure of his lips caused. “Thank you for being you, because you’re exactly what I need.”
Cal leaned in. Mara didn’t stop toying with his lips until he gently pushed her hand aside and captured her lips. This time, his kiss was gentle—more like the ones they’d shared before. Mara realized something. The hard and rough Cal—the one who’d fucked her—was the real Cal. This gentle version was him in control, while he held the reins tight. She wanted both. If there was any forgiveness left in the universe for her sins, she prayed she could hang on to this one beautiful thing.
“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Cal asked against her lips.
Mara bit back a laugh. It was like their night happened in reverse—have sex and then ask for a date. “I think I’m free.”
“I’m going to see my parents. Would you go with me?”
She didn’t even need to think about it. “I’d love to meet your parents.”
It was only one more weekend with Cal, but she’d take it. Mara had already decided—she’d take what time she could with Cal. One weekend at a time. No expectations. Only hope.
Mara might’ve been lying just a little when she’d said she’d love to meet Cal’s parents. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to meet them. It was more that she was convinced a senator would not only be intimidating but would also hate her. Tracy and Calhoun Walsh were a formidable couple. Mara had seen the senator on the news many times, fighting for different causes or being interviewed about his stance on certain topics. His wife was often at his side at events and looked as stylish—if not more so—than many of the celebrities Mara knew. None of those glimpses into their lives prepared Mara for the real version of them.
They were farmers. Mara hadn’t known that. Luckily, Cal had warned her to dress casually and pack to fit the same. She loved the country life and had no qualms about mucking around on a farm. Mara just hadn’t been mentally prepared for the vast differences between the Calhoun she saw on TV and the real thing. He wore overalls. Mara couldn’t understand why that fucked with her mind, but it did. The man wasn’t the first farmer she’d met, but damned if she’d never really seen a farmer in overalls. They both refused to let her call them by anything other than their first names. Mara understood now the frustration she caused Cal by constantly insisting he call her by her name. She felt rude as hell every time she called his mother Tracy. It felt unnatural on her tongue. The stylish woman she’d seen on TV at Calhoun’s side was also gone. The skinny brown-haired woman wore a cotton sundress and white canvas shoes. She also had a tendency to wear an apron, for fuck’s sake. Mara felt like she’d stepped into an alternate universe where the fifties still raged on.
Cal was a perfect mixture of his parents. He had his mother’s dark hair and his father’s light blue eyes. Mara desperately wanted the pair to like her. By the time they made it to dessert of their first meal together, Mara still couldn’t decide if they did.
“So, Mara,” Tracy said, smiling. “I know what you do, but what do you do?”
Since the question confused the fuck out of Mara, she was more than a little relieved when Cal answered for her. “Filming takes almost seventeen hours a day, so…”
“That’s a lot,” Tracy said, looking impressed. “I’m glad you found time to join Cal this weekend.”
“I just wrapped up a project, so it was no big deal. Even if I’d been busy, I would’ve made time. I’ve wanted to meet you both for a while.” Damn, another lie. Oh, well.
Cal nodded. “She’s always pushing me to visit.”
Tracy perked up at that.
Mara wanted to kiss him.
“Where do your parents live?” Tracy asked between bites of pecan pie.
“I only have a mother and she passed a couple of years ago,” Mara said, hoping she could leave it at that.
“So you’re an orphan?’
Mara pushed her hair behind her ear, feeling more uncomfortable by the moment. “I suppose.”
“You should come to this charity event tonight. They’re raising money for orphans.”
“It’s for cancer,” Calhoun corrected, sounding disinterested.
“Cancer. Orphans. Whatever. Your presence might help raise awareness and Cal being there would help as well.”
“I told her to dress casual,” Cal said before Mara could.
His mom waved off his words. “I can find her something, and you’ve got plenty of dress blues here.”
“What type of project did y
ou just wrap up?” Calhoun asked, changing the subject and saving Cal from what looked to soon become an argument. Talk of her upcoming movie carried them through pie. Cal’s dad disappeared the moment dishes started getting loaded in the sink. Mara stayed glued to Tracy’s side, determined to help.
Tracy shooed her away. “You’re a guest. Go sit in the sunshine and enjoy the fresh air. I’m sure you’re sick of the city’s pollution.”
Mara had nothing.
Cal laughed. “Mara lives out in the middle of nowhere. The city air isn’t getting to her.”
Tracy shrugged. “Still, she’s on vacation. You’re not,” she said, handing Cal a dish towel. “You get to dry.”
“I don’t mind helping,” Mara said for the tenth time.
Tracy waved her away. “Go sit down.”
Mara caught Cal’s eye as she slipped from the room. He winked. She bit back a smile. A sigh of relief rose in her throat the second she was alone. Taking Tracy’s advice, Mara stepped outside. She followed the wraparound porch until she came to a set of rocking chairs. Mara wasn’t the type to be uncomfortable in new situations. This was different for some reason. Important. Her shoulders hurt from being tense for too long. She hoped she could hide for at least ten minutes before returning to the strain. Mara chose the chair with the most shade. As Mara leaned back in the rocker, Tracy’s voice floated from the nearby window, freezing Mara. After sneaking a peek over her shoulder, Mara realized her chair was just out of sight of the open window above the kitchen sink. She didn’t want to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t stop herself from hearing every word being said inside. “She’s beautiful.”
“She is,” Cal agreed, making Mara smile.
“She’s also an actress.” The way Tracy said “actress”—like the word left a bad taste in her mouth—left no doubt it wasn’t a profession the woman cared for.
Cal laughed. The sound warmed Mara’s heart. “Yes, she’s that too.”
Tracy released a loud sigh. “Well, it’s good to see you smiling again, but an actress.”
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