by Melissa West
“But Dad—”
“No, enough. You are to go get ready. Right now.”
Arguments race through my mind, one after the other, but finally, I lower my arms to my sides and sigh in defeat. Jackson is gone. The neurotoxin has released. It’s over. “What about Mr. O’Neil?” I whisper.
“Don’t worry about Oliver. President Cartier and I discussed how to handle you and Lawrence this morning. Did you think I didn’t know he was in on this charade? It doesn’t matter. You are children and are entitled to a mistake. I won’t have that ruin your future.”
I lower my head, no longer able to look at him. “That’s all that matters, isn’t it? My future and how this appears to others. Don’t you care why I kept this from you? Don’t you want to know my motivation?” I have it on the tip of my tongue, anger pushing the words to the surface. I’m prepared to yell at him that I’m part Ancient when Dad’s resolve falters.
His eyes soften. “No, Ari. I don’t want to know why you chose one of them over me. I don’t want to know why I wasn’t your first source of refuge. I don’t want to know why you trusted a young girl with this instead of your own father. I don’t want to hear any more. What I’ve heard is enough.” And he leaves the room without another word.
I lean against the wall, sliding down until I’m on the floor, my head in my hands. I thought I could do this on my own. I thought I could finally step outside Dad’s shadow and prove that I’m capable. I never imagined Dad would feel betrayed as a father. He’s the commander at the office, at home, in every way. I only thought about his reaction as the commander, never thinking to consider what it would feel like for his daughter to betray him. He has always been so hard on me, but maybe that’s because he believed in me. And now I’ve let him down.
My thoughts move from Dad, to Gretchen, to the neurotoxin, to the threat of war, and then they land on Jackson and I’m sure my heart is gone, leaving a dark hole that will never go away. It’s all too much.
Mom finds me curled on the sofa in our sitting room. She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t have to. To her, I am just her daughter. She strokes my hair and pulls me into a tight hug. “He loves you, you know that, right?” she asks. I nod, because I do know that Dad loves me, even if he will never trust me again. “Now, you have to get ready. I’m sure going to training today will be hard, but that’s what being an adult is, dear. We have to face things that frighten us head-on. I’ll be here when you get home if you need me.”
I nod. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll go.”
She commands the T-screen on. “Want some coffee?”
She moves back into the kitchen to grab me a cup. I chance a look at the T-screen, unsure if I really want to see the news story. A reporter repeats what has likely been said all morning long. The Engineers, in accordance with international Engineering groups, released a neurotoxin into the air that is said to poison any Ancient that breaches Earth. The release occurred yesterday after Commander Alexander discovered the presence of Ancient spies among the populace. Then the camera cuts to a live interview with Dad.
“Once we discovered the presence of Ancients among us,” Dad says, “we knew we had to act quickly. Thankfully, the Chemists developed various weapons over the last few decades, enabling us to execute an effective response immediately.”
Mom places an arm around my shoulder and hands me the cup of coffee. “Go get ready, sweetie.”
Twenty minutes later, I’m on the tron, hoping I can get through the day. For a moment, I worry that the toxin could kill me, too. After all, xylem runs through my body. But I didn’t heal, so I must not have enough of it in me. Plus, the neurotoxin would have had an impact on me by now.
Everyone seems elated, like a giant weight was lifted from their shoulders. Most feared the Ancients, hated hosting to them. Many felt we were slaves. So to them, today is an independence day, our freedom from the force that controlled us.
I gaze out the window and sure enough, each tron stop bounces with people outside celebrating. I close my eyes. There’s nothing for me to celebrate, no happiness coming from this independence, and the Ancients will respond. I hope our genius Chemists thought out possible counterattacks, or else everyone I love may die in this war.
The tron reaches Business Park, and I step off onto the auto-path, walking instead of allowing the path to guide me. Inside the Engineer building, everyone is as excited as those on the street. I’m the first one to the training room, and all I can think about is Jackson and how the last time I was here, he was with me. I swallow back tears for the second time today. I wish I could have talked to him one last time. Maybe then I could make sense of everything. But instead, I’m left with a scattering of hidden truths and no clue how to decipher the real from the fake.
Gretchen walks through the main doors, stopping when she sees me. “Ari…”
“How could you?” I say.
“Please, I know how it looks,” she says. “But it wasn’t my fault. Lawrence came by my house, worried over how different you’ve been acting. He said enough that I was sure he knew so I told him I did as well. Dad must have overheard the part about Jackson because a minute later he stormed into my room, forcing Lawrence and me to tell him everything. I swear I didn’t mean to.”
“Well, that explains how Dad knew about Law,” I say.
She releases a breath, hesitates, and then rushes over to hug me. “I’m so sorry.”
I begin to say it’s okay when an overwhelming heat hits me and I burst out coughing, unable to gain control for several seconds. The room moves around me, in and out of focus, while sweat collects on my forehead.
Gretchen steadies me by the arm. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, just exhausted.”
She continues to look worried, but the rest of the training class enters the room, Terrence on their heels.
“There has been a change to our training schedule,” Terrence says. “I expect you all back here this afternoon to practice with each of the weapons we reviewed yesterday. But this morning, we will split into groups. Half of you will practice combat training, the other half limits, and then we’ll switch. After that you can all head to the celebration at the District. It’s a momentous day!”
I start for the combat side just as another coughing fit erupts. My chest heaves, the heat overtaking me. I swallow hard, trying to steady the cough, but with each breath it builds until I’m on the ground, gasping for air. Gretchen runs to my side and tries to help me stand. “Coach, can I take her to get water?”
Terrence must agree, because Gretchen helps me limp out into the hall and down the corridor to the women’s restroom. As soon as we cross the threshold, I fall to the floor, my body shaking in spasms.
“What can I do? I’ll call your dad.”
I jerk my head from side to side. Dad can’t know what’s happening to me. “Wat-er.”
She rushes to the sink and soaks several towels with water, bringing them back to me one after another, but it’s no use. I can’t get myself calmed down. Heat rises in my chest, crawling up my neck, spreading over my body, yet I’m freezing. I draw a breath and vomit all over myself, on the floor, on Gretchen. Then the shaking starts again, and I’m trembling all over, my teeth chattering. Gretchen cleans off my mouth and splashes water on my face. My forehead feels clammy and hot. A soft knock sounds from the door.
“It’s me,” a voice says. “Can I come in?”
“Yes, hurry up,” Gretchen replies, and I notice her face soaked from tears.
Law stops cold when he enters the bathroom, as though he needs a second to compose himself. “We should get her home before someone notices,” he says. “Ari, can you walk?”
“I don’t know,” I say, my voice a whisper. Law scoops me into his arms and motions for Gretchen to get the door. He looks down both directions of the hall and steps out.
“Notices what?” Gretchen asks.
“Think, Gretch. Why would Ari get sick?”
“No,” I say
. “It’s only a little bit….” I trail off, knowing there is no other explanation. Law is right. Never once during all the xylem talk did I think I had enough of it in me to cause an issue. I thought because I didn’t heal, that meant it was only a trace amount, nothing to be concerned with. I just assumed… And now…
No one says anything the entire walk to the tron. Law must be getting tired of carrying me, but he doesn’t let on. We take the second seat back and wait while other passengers board. The tron is almost full when an older woman starts to get on but backs away. Her face pales, and then she pukes all over the sidewalk.
Law leans over me and winces. “That isn’t good. Maybe you’re not the only…”
I face him, goose bumps rising across my skin. “Only what?”
He doesn’t respond. The silence grows tangible with each passing second. I lean back in my seat, racking my brain for answers. And then a thought crosses my mind so outlandish that it can’t be possible. I can’t be… Impossible. Thoughts and memories zoom through my mind in chaotic order, one after another—the dreams, the changes. Jackson said xylem multiplies. I assumed I was part Ancient, maybe a third. After all, I didn’t heal after slicing my arm and an Ancient would have. But if I’m this sick that must mean…
Law carries me off the tron and down the street toward my house. Gretchen bursts through my front door, calling for my mom. Law helps me to our sitting area, gets me some water, and sits in front of me, looking more nervous and scared than I’ve ever seen him in my life. “I can handle it,” I say.
He nods. “I know.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I can’t.” He bites his lip and then rubs his chin. “It’s all my fault.”
“Your fault?”
“The day of the explosion,” he says. “Do you remember?”
“A little. Jack—” I cut off. “He told me he healed me. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was. You were screaming. I was afraid you were dying. So I begged him to do it. He didn’t want to. I made him do it, and now…” He reaches for my hand. “We’ll figure something out; don’t worry.”
Figure something out? There is nothing to figure out. I’m part Ancient, maybe even half. Xylem circulates through my body, multiplying by the second. The neurotoxin is in the air I’m breathing right now, which all leads to one hard fact—I’m going to die. The question is, how long do I have?
CHAPTER 25
By the time my mom arrives home from work, sickness consumes me. Gretchen and Law set me up in my room, staying to help me to the bathroom and back, and asking every few minutes if they could call my parents. I thought I could do it on my own. I thought maybe it would get better or I would get used to the overwhelming exhaustion, but each second becomes harder than the one before and now all I want is my mom to fix me.
Gretchen brings her into my room and I can tell immediately that she’s terrified. The city has grown more and more troubling; Ops sent out to guard the perimeter, all armed, all told to shoot anyone who looks suspicious. I’m not sure who or what they expect to try to get in—an Ancient army, I suppose, which tells me that even with the neurotoxin, they’re afraid the Ancients will find a way to attack.
But if Ancients are still in the city, I’ve seen no sign of them, or at least not of one…I try to ignore the pain in my chest at the thought of him. I didn’t get to say good-bye. Good-bye. I hadn’t considered it before, but now, I’m infected, he’s gone, and I have no reason to believe I’ll ever see him again.
I stare off into my room, ignoring my mom’s worried look. She moves her hand over my forehead, checking my cheeks. “You’re so pale,” she says, her voice rich with concern. “When did you start getting sick? Is it something you ate? Have you—”
“I’m part Ancient, Mom, maybe half. We aren’t sure.”
Her head jerks to attention. “What? That isn’t possible. Be serious. What has happened to you?”
“She is being serious, Mrs. Alexander,” Lawrence says.
Mom looks around to him and then to Gretchen, who nods her head in agreement. “No, you aren’t. I’m telling you that isn’t possible.”
Everyone is silent for a long second, unsure of how to convince her, then I realize what I need to do and pull her to me. “Mom, it is. Look at my eyes. They should be the same emerald green of yours, but instead…”
Mom lifts a shaking hand to cover her mouth, tears welling in her eyes. “I don’t understand. How did this happen to you?”
“I’m sorry. I—” Heat rises up my neck, and then I’m running to my bathroom, hoping I make it. Mom follows, tying my hair behind me and whispering to herself as I get sick again and again and again. Finally, my body collapses onto the bathroom floor, the cool composite tile soothing my overheated face.
Gretchen rushes in with a glass of water, helping me take small sips. I draw a long breath, then another, and close my eyes. After several seconds, Mom helps me stand and tucks me back into my bed. “I’ll be right back,” she says. “I have something that might help. Can you watch her?” she asks Gretchen, eyeing both her and Law.
As soon as she’s gone, Gretchen is at my side. “How much do you want her to know?”
“It doesn’t matter now.” I reach for my water, stopping midway, my hand shaking too hard for me to be able to hold the glass. “I’m so tired.”
“Let me.” Gretchen lifts it to my mouth. Any other time, I’d be embarrassed to receive such help, but right now, I don’t have the energy or will to do anything for myself. I hate it. I hate how weak I am, how weak I look, and most of all, I hate that I’d agree to be sick the rest of my life if I could just see Jackson again and ask him if it was really all a lie.
I slump against my pillow, allowing my eyes to close. It feels easier to think about him when the others can’t see my eyes, the misery that settles in them. I wonder if Dad was right about everything. Maybe Jackson used me to get information. If he did, I guess it worked. But still…flashes of memories course through my mind, one after another, each more painful than the last.
It felt real.
Mom comes back to my room carrying a metal case the size of a notes tablet, her Chemist demeanor taking over. She opens the case, releasing a puff of cold air and exposing twenty or so small vials of liquid. She fumbles through the case, pulls out a vial of blue liquid, and tears open a new needle and syringe. “I’m going to try to counter the vomiting first, then we’ll figure out how to counter the poison.” She feels around the bend of my arm and slips the needle into my vein. I feel a pinch, a burn, and then the nausea subsides, relief washing over me.
“How long will it last?” I ask her.
“Maybe an hour, depending upon the potency of the poison.” She rubs her eyes. “Tell me how this happened.”
“Um, we should get going,” Law says, tugging on Gretchen’s arm.
“Yeah, we’ll be back in an hour or so. Feel better, Ari.” Then they’re gone, and I’m left alone in the eerie silence of my room as Mom waits to hear how I became infected. I’m not sure where to start, so I begin with the truth.
“I fell for the wrong guy,” I say, and then I launch into everything—Jackson, the bomb at school, him healing me, the strategy, what I did to help, what I’ve seen. I talk until I’m too tired to continue. My eyes close and Mom holds my hand, rubbing it gently, and then the dream finds me.
I open my eyes to a hazy yet beautiful world full of bright colors. The sky is an unusual purplish blue, with giant clouds and a golden sun. I step farther into this world and once again, I’m overlooking the lake from a previous dream. I expect to see the people on bamboo-boats but instead hear my name shouted from below.
“Well? Are you coming?” Jackson says, a huge smile on his face. He wades in the water, flipping and swimming, enjoying the warm day.
I hesitate and then dive in after him, but when I break the surface he’s no longer there. I call after him and swim around searching. I dive under, scanning below the su
rface. Where did he go? Finally, I spot him on the bank. He waves to me before walking off. I scream after him, begging him to come back.
And then a force jerks me under. Water pours into my mouth and nose. I fight and claw to stay above the surface, but it’s no use. I’m drowning…and Jackson left me.
CHAPTER 26
“Mom?” I call from the downstairs bathroom, throwing up now more times than I can count. The nausea injections that helped yesterday are now lasting only a few minutes, sometimes a few seconds. Mom has tried a few different concoctions, but so far nothing works and we’re still no closer to finding something that will stop the neurotoxin’s poison from wrecking my body from the inside out.
“More water?” Mom says from the doorway.
“No, can you help me to the sitting room?”
“Sure,” she says, just as the front door security system announces Gretchen and Law. They make their way into the sitting area, and Law commands on the T-screen before either speak a word.
“What’s going on?” Mom asks, but she’s interrupted by the newscast. Ancient infection. That’s what they’re calling it. A disease released upon humans thanks to their continuous exposure to the Ancients. My eyes widen with each bit of information, all of it speculation or lies. Parliament refuses to admit they’re responsible for our sickness, thanks to the release of the neurotoxin. Instead, they act as though the infection and the neurotoxin are two separate issues, never speaking of one in the same newscast as another. It’s so ridiculous. They never imagined humans might have been healed by Ancients, and even still, they seem unaware or unwilling to accept that healing is what caused this, that these sick humans are actually part Ancient. The Chemists took blood samples from some of the infected, all in an effort to figure out how it happened. The problem is no human will admit to being healed by an Ancient.
“Volume down,” Mom says. “I need to make a call.” And she leaves the room looking even more worried.
Law waits until Mom is out of hearing range and then says, “This isn’t the half of it. Testing centers went up all around the country an hour ago. Everyone has to be tested. Anyone not checked within twenty-four hours will be issued a warrant for arrest. Plus…” He glances at Gretchen, who bites her thumbnail as though it’s the only thing keeping her from crying.