by Kimi Flores
Instantly, she sucked in her bottom lip, distracting me again. “Sure.”
The waiter took that moment to deliver her wine, and I watched her take a quick, nervous sip.
I rubbed my palms on my jeans, feeling nervous. “Okay here goes. I know I already apologized, but I want you to know how truly sorry I am. I was an ass, and I should’ve never treated you like that.”
She tilted her head, looking confused. “Josh, you did already apologize.”
I held my hand up for a second, needing to get it all out at once. “I know, but I want to tell you more. You already know what I was going through at the time, but I’m not going to use my friend’s death to excuse my behavior. The partying started even before Kai died, and honestly I acted just as bad before he passed. The Hollywood lifestyle is definitely not for the weak. There’s an abundance of anything and everything you can imagine, and there’s the pressure from the studio execs, the fans, plus ratings. You find yourself in competition with your closest friends. You’re surrounded by all the noise during the day; the silence is deafening when you’re alone. It’s easier to just let the party continue and detach yourself from everything and everyone.”
She took another sip from her glass, listening intently.
“If it hadn’t been for Zach and the rest of my family, I don’t know where I’d be now. After rehab, I bought the ranch and I’ve been living there since.”
With a panicked expression, she looked down at her wineglass. “Oh man, Josh. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking.” Worried, she looked around for the waiter when I realized what she was freaking out about.
Reaching out to her, I felt the soft skin of her hand under mine. “It doesn’t bother me when other people drink, Bri. Don't worry about it. I only drank to escape all the chaos in my life. I don’t have a reason to drink anymore, and I’ve kinda lost my taste for alcohol.”
Playing with the glass stem she asked, “Are you sure? I don’t mind having something else.”
I lightly rubbed the top of her hand, then pulled away. I didn’t want to let her go, but she might be wondering why I was still touching her. “Really. I’m fine. I’m surrounded by wine at the vineyard. It doesn’t bother me at all. Enjoy. Please. But, thank you for considering me.”
Smiling in relief, she pulled her hair to the side and over her shoulder, also something I noticed she did a lot. How many nervous habits did this girl have?
I heard her phone chime in her purse, but she made no move to get it.
“Do you want to answer that?” I asked.
“No.” Her nose wrinkled up. “It can wait until we’re done.” She fiddled with the stem of her glass once more before taking another shaky sip.
“Bri, will you please relax? I’m telling you that I’m fine.” I watched her, impressed that she didn’t feel the need to answer her phone. Nobody did that anymore.
She pointed to me with her index finger. “You know. The funny thing is I’ve been waiting for you to chill out and as soon as you do, I’m all uptight.”
“Well, knock it off then.” I smirked, earning me a devious smile from her.
As the appetizer arrived, she agreed, “Fine. So tell me Josh Tucker, how do you spend your days?” She plated some of the phyllo wrapped goat cheese and took a bite.
Sneering lazily, I slowly shrugged my shoulders. “I’m kinda boring now. I help Zachary whenever he needs me, ride my horses, hang out with my brother, Paul, and Tanner, another guy we grew up with, ride dirt bikes on the ranch—”
Bri interrupted me, her face lighting up. “You ride bikes on your ranch?”
“Yeah, why?”
She dabbed her mouth with her napkin. “I love dirt bikes.”
I gave her a curious smile. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Why?” She pointed at the small dish between us, encouraging me to eat.
Surprised, I sat back in my chair. “You just don’t seem like the type of girl who would like that kinda stuff.”
“What kinda stuff? Things that only guys should be doing?” She said in a mocking tone.
“No,” I chuckled. “I mean, there are lots of girls who ride, but—you look so, you know. Girly.”
She narrowed her eyes, and I cringed. Shit. I had a feeling I’d just pushed a button I wasn’t aware existed.
Her sassy retort quickly followed. “I look girly because I am a girl. Doesn’t mean I can’t be adventurous and have fun too. I’m not about to sit in a corner just to be looked at. Life is too short, and I plan on enjoying every minute.”
Stunned, I blinked. I’d known plenty of tomboys, and even more girly girls. But this was the first time I’d ever met both all wrapped up into one exquisite package.
Grinning, I couldn’t help but think, where have you been hiding, Bri Hunter?
⁂
Bri
“That restaurant was fantastic.” I walked alongside Josh, toward my car. He seemed more relax as we walked a little closer than when we’d arrived. I couldn’t say I minded when our hands brushed against each other. “You didn’t have to pay for it though, you know.”
“I know. I wanted to.” He said as I watched him eyeing my tiny car when we approached it. “By the way, this is a kick ass car. I bet it’s fast.”
My eyes widened with excitement. “Yes, it is. That was one of the requirements when I decided to buy a new car.” I bit my lip, considering something. “You wanna drive back?” I tossed my keys to him.
What am I doing? I don’t let anyone but Stefen drive it. I’m not drunk, am I? No, just one glass of wine and that was over two hours ago.
Catching my keys, a huge grin broke free. “I might take the long way home, if you don’t mind.”
I lifted my shoulder to my chin, attempting to hide my jitters. “I’m not in a hurry. It’s a nice evening. We can put the top down if you want.”
His expression said that he liked how I thought. Once we were settled in the car, with the convertible top down, Josh turned onto an open road and sped up a long hill. I loved driving fast, but I’d never been a passenger while someone else drove as fast as I did. It was an exhilarating feeling when I dropped my head back on my seat feeling the wind blowing my hair everywhere. The sensation was thrilling until I lifted my head and my long strands smacked me in the face while sticking to my lip gloss.
Downshifting as we came up to a curve in the road, Josh snuck a quick look at me. “I’m not scaring you, am I?”
“No way, I’m loving this.” I peeled my hair off my lips and twisted it up as I reached inside the center console, securing my bun with the elastic band I retrieved.
“Yes, I know,” he said humorously. “You like to race other unsuspecting drivers.”
“You’re just mad because I was winning.” I snort my sarcastic remark. Did I seriously just snort?
“No, I was tired that day. I’d spent the week at my parents’ and wanted to go home and crash. My uncle guilted me into going.” I watched his eyes take another quick peek at me. “Even though you weren’t stoked to see me there, I’m glad I went.”
“Thanks a lot.” I shifted nervously in my seat.
“No, I mean you sparked my curiosity.” He smiled uncertainly. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but after your brother mentioned we were in the same circle when you were in college, I started—sort of—looking for pictures of us online. I never found any though.” He ran his hand over the top of the steering wheel.
“I have a picture,” I blurted out before thinking.
“You do?” He raised his eyebrows. “I’d love to see it sometime.”
“Pull over, and I’ll show you now.” He’s gonna think I’m some kind of stalker, carrying this picture on my phone.
His eyes widened. “Okay.” He slowed and drove the car to the side of the olive tree-lined dark road while I dug in my purse for my cell. Lifting his hand, he wiggled his fingers toward me. “Lemme see.”
I touched the screen, sighing at all the missed calls
. Dammit, Mom. I’m allowed to have a night without you. Groaning, I fidgeted with the phone, flustered as I touched every icon but the photo album one I wanted.
Josh tapped my shoulder. “Hey, you okay? You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.”
Puffing out a breath of air, I assured him. “No, it’s not that. I just have someone pestering me.”
“Anything to be concerned about?”
“Nope. My brother’s taking care of it.” Because I can’t seem to be able to fight my own battles.
He looked confused as he tilted his head. “You sure?”
“Yeah.” Still irritated, I finally opened my photo album and scanned through my pictures. “Here it is.” Holding it up, I watched his reaction.
His mouth went slack, and he shook his head. “I still can’t believe it. You look like a totally different person.” He squinted, studying the picture. “I mean, you were hot, but now you’re—” He stopped and looked at me, and I started to quietly panic.
I’m what? Fat? Ugly? A waste of time?
All of the hurtful things I’d ever been told came flooding into my mind.
“You’re breathtaking,” he finally said, his fingers lightly touching my moonlit face, caressing my cheek. “I can honestly say that I’ve never met a woman like you before.”
I gulped. That was not the answer I expected. I’d been told by guys before that I was pretty, gorgeous even, but they all wanted a piece of me I wasn’t willing to give. Josh seemed different, open and honest and not out for something.
As he pulled his hand away, I tried not to think about how cold I felt all of a sudden.
“Hey, what do you say we take another picture?” He suggested with a grin. “An updated shot of us?”
Breathless myself, I agreed. “Okay.”
“C’mere.” He put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as we glanced at the screen. His long arm stretched out further than mine, so I hoped the flash wouldn’t drown out our faces. “One-two-three, cheese.”
Opening my eyes wide, I smiled as the flash went off. “I’m blind.” I instinctively closed my eyes, trying to rid the white spots from behind my eyelids. He was so close, I took a whiff when he pulled his arm away.
There’s nothing better than a good smelling man.
“There, look at us,” he said warmly.
Squinting, I tried to see the picture, but there were still a few dots of light in my vision. Once my eyes were able to focus, I mentally compared the two shots. In our first picture, we weren’t touching and looked like we were rushing off, not wanting to be bothered. This picture looked more intimate. As if we knew each other well. As if we were happy.
I glanced at him when he handed my phone back and started up the car. “I like that one much better. Do you mind sending it to me?” he asked, pulling onto the road.
“Sure,” I managed over the lump in my throat. What just happened? Had we just shared a moment? A real one?
As I took it all in, something shifted inside me, but I didn’t know how to react. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just foreign. Aside from Stefen and Caleb, I wasn’t used to feeling peace in a guy’s presence.
As he drove, I snuck another glance at his profile, the way his nose swept straight down into a perfect curve, the way his hands relaxed at the wheel, even though we were going over eighty miles an hour. And as I watched him, the lump in my throat grew.
I can totally fall for you all over again. Are you willing to catch me when I do?
Chapter Eight
Okay, I Give
Bri
“It wasn't a date.” I maintained as I folded my clothes, stacking them carefully on the bed. It was difficult to hide my irritation over Dani’s insistence and it didn’t help matters that Blaine had called fifteen minutes earlier asking if I wanted to try going out again. Even though I felt like such a bitch, I had to level with him and say it wasn’t going to happen between us.
Dani touched each of her fingertips with the opposite hand as she counted off her list. “Girlfriend, a hot guy took you out to a romantic dinner, then for a drive, and made sure to take a selfie of you guys together. Sorry, that sounds like a date to me.”
I continued to silently fold my laundry.
“I don't see what the problem is, Bri. Deny it all you want, but you like this guy. Seize the opportunity, I say.”
I folded the same pair of underwear twice while Dani just stood in the doorway, watching. She obviously didn’t understand my reasoning. Pulling on the dresser drawer, the old wood creaked as it opened, and I transferred the stack of clothes from my bed to the bureau. “It’s a little more complicated, but I’m happy with how things are. I had a good time. That’s all.”
She sneered, folding her arms in front of her chest. “I understand that he’s kind of turned into a hermit, but I don’t get why you aren’t at least trying to go after him. You already know how he is in bed. I’d be all over that, if I was you.”
I bit my tongue, so I wouldn’t offend her, but she tended to go for just about any guy who threw her a crumb and it was starting to worry me.
I exhaled loudly as I fisted my hands out to my sides. “Here’s the thing. Not only was he my first, but he’s been my only. No matter how much he’s changed, I don't know if I can ever trust him enough to be with him.” Bringing my hands forward, I motioned as if showcasing something. “Okay, there it is. All on the table.”
Her mouth fell open. “You’ve got to be shitting me. You’ve never been with another guy?”
I shook my head. Of course that’s all she caught. “No. That’s why I get so upset when I see you giving yourself to these pricks who just run out the door the next morning. I know how painful it is to be rejected, Dani, and I hate that you go through that same feeling over and over. It sucks.”
She went stiff. “Well, not all of us are able to get a guy like Josh. I’m sorry if my sleeping around bothers you so much. I get whatever attention I can, when it’s offered. Nothin’ wrong with that.”
Carefully, I stepped closer to her, trying to figure out how to get my message across without further insulting her. “I’m sorry, Dani. That’s not what I meant. I just know how shitty it feels. You need a guy who’ll just love you for you, and spoil you. If you sleep with him the moment you meet, he won’t have anything to work for.” I gave her a pointed look. “Believe me, I know.”
Her eyes rolled as her mouth went slack. “Yeah, that’s coming from a girl who doesn’t put out and guys throw aside because they know they won’t get anything.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Why are you attacking me? I’m trying to tell you I’m worried about you, and you come at me like I threw a punch.”
Lowering her head, she hunched her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Bri. I didn’t mean that.” She looked up with sorrow-filled eyes and her voice thick. “I’m just so damn jealous of everyone around me finding their perfect guy, and I can’t even get one to stay long enough to keep my sheets warm.”
Wrapping my arms around her, I reassured her. “We have to stick together. We’re just us, not what a guy makes us. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just worry about you because I love you. I’m not here to judge. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
Sniffling, she admitted, “Yeah, besides my sister, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had too.” She pulled away. “I didn’t mean to be such a bitch.” She wiped her face with her fingers. “So do you need me to kick Josh’s ass just to remind him not to screw around with you?”
I grinned. There’s my sassy friend. “No. We talked; we’re cool.” Shrugging, I added, “Plus he’s kinda fun to hang out with. I feel like I can be myself.”
“So you’re still going out to the ranch tomorrow morning and Saturday, right?”
Tapping my lips, I answered, “Yeah, but I think he only invited me to go tomorrow because Alison’s gonna be there. I already talked to her, and she said after they go riding they normally swim, then she’s stuck, bored wit
h a bunch of guys.” I tilted my head side to side. “If nothing else, it’ll be a great time to catch up. You should come out with Leah and me on Saturday too. The kids would love seeing you.”
“I wish I could.” She frowned. “I’m exhausted with my new patient. There are a couple of us switching shifts to take care of her, but she’s really demanding and kinda rude. Her grandson is the only other person around, and he just seems lost all the time.”
“That will be my mom when she’s at that point, except I’m sure Stefen and Leah’s kids won’t be by her side.” I shook my head. “She’s exhausting me too.”
“Same old stuff?”
“Yes and no. Stefen is dealing with everything, but she keeps calling. I haven’t picked up any of her messages this week. She’s probably fuming. I’m just glad we don’t have a house phone.” Every time I looked at my cell there were more missed call notifications from my mother. I tried not to let it stress me out but it was beginning to wear me thin.
“I’m sorry, Bri. That must be rough.”
“It is, but I’m trying really hard not to let her get to me. I guess the first step would be to stand up to her, but I just don’t know how.” I moved my pillows out of the way, pulled the blanket back and sat on the bed. “I’d love to be strong enough to do that.”
“Let me know when you figure out how, so I can learn from you.” She offered a sympathetic smile. “I’m heading to bed now, see ya tomorrow.” Turning, she walked down the hallway to her bedroom.
“Goodnight, Dani,” I yelled as I pulled my legs up, leaning my head on my knees.
If I can’t learn how to fight my own battles, maybe I can at least figure it out for Dani. I may not be able to defend myself, but I sure as hell will do it for my loved ones.
⁂
Josh
I couldn’t sleep for shit so I got up much earlier than I’d planned. An exhausting day awaited and now I was wondering what I was thinking, cramming so much into one day. But I was up for the challenge, and my friends would be here to help out.