by Kimi Flores
I moved in close behind, wrapping her body in my arms. I hoped she felt my cocoon of protection and concern now that she’d shared her fears. I’d never felt such a strong pull to connect with someone as I did with Bri right now.
Resting my chin on her shoulder, I knew this was my chance to tell her how I felt, but wasn’t sure she was ready to hear me. And was it the right time, with everything she had going on? Maybe it would help, I rationalized.
“Bri, you’re so beautiful. But that’s not everything you are. That’s not what’s important. You have the most forgiving heart. I would know, right?” I cleared my throat, hoping I was on the right track. “I’ve watched you with Leah’s kids, how you listen and encourage them. You value those children, and believe in their abilities. The same kids that society calls handicapped, you don’t see any limits in, Bri. That’s special.” I smiled down at her, as she stared back with humility in her eyes. My face filled with awe at how loving she was despite how she was raised.
At her silence and the confusion etched in her expression, I continued. “You wouldn’t be doing it if you weren’t willing to step up and help Leah. And you’re so protective when you talk about Dani, which I think you learned from your big brother. But it’s who you are. It’s what you do. You protect the people you love, those you’re willing to fight for. I wish you could see how remarkable you are. How the rest of us see you.” I pleaded with her through my words and eyes to believe me.
I ran my fingers through her dark strands, gently pulling her face to meet my lips as I peppered her small nose with kisses. Resting my forehead against hers, I looked into her bewildered eyes. “You’ve taught me so much about forgiveness. I still can’t believe you’ve given me a second chance. I sure as hell don’t deserve it.” I paused, gulping hard. “Bri, you do belong. You’re important to all of us. You don’t even realize how much each of us needs you. And someday soon,” my heart was about to leap out of my chest, “I hope you’ll believe that you belong with me. Because I already feel like I belong with you.”
I tried to show her the emotions in my heart through my eyes, begging her to understand.
Please don’t shut me out.
A few tears started to slowly roll down her cheeks. “I want to believe you, Josh.” It was clear that she’d become overwhelmed with our intense conversation.
Dolefully, she swiped under her eyes. I sensed that she needed time to process her feelings. A slow, smile crept up her face. “I can’t help but wonder. Do you only need me to prove that you’re the air hockey champion so you can collect your reward?”
There’s the Bri I know, changing the subject to evade her emotions.
I chuckled softly, running my thumb over her wet cheek. She was being cute, but I could tell she was shying away from my words. Maybe she needed to take a break from this conversation, but I hoped what I said would slowly sink in and become a reality for her. I was willing to wait.
“Does that mean I get my kiss?” I grinned, letting the seriousness of our conversation evaporate into the salty air. Unable to think of anything else, I moved my attention to her lips.
I took a deep breath, snaking my arms around her waist. My fingers skimmed the warm skin of her lower back, sending electric shocks up my arm. The sound of the crashing waves was no match for the pounding of my heart as I pulled her closer.
The intense look in her eyes said that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. Her lips parted as her lids closed, breathing in, trusting me.
The closer we got, the louder my pulse throbbed in my ears. Centimeters away from touching her mouth with my own, I stopped, savoring the moment. Our chests met, heaving in and out in unison.
This girl is amazing.
Finally, we made contact, but I wasn’t ready to dive in yet. Slowly, I ran my mouth across hers, darting my tongue out and licking her bottom lip. Her breath hit my skin with each and every pant, driving me wild.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
Cradling her face in my hands while softly kissing her, I guided her back against the cool grains of sand. Gently caressing her lips with my tongue, I was surprised when she opened them and allowed me yet another step past the walls that she'd built.
I won’t mess up this time, her trust and heart, will always be my first focus from this moment on.
My mouth covered hers as I kissed and nipped at her lips. Moaning, she ran her fingers through my thick hair, tugging ever so slightly, sending me into full-on lust mode. As I lay on top of her, I deepened our kiss further, hoping she was still willing to let me past her barriers.
After a minute, my body relaxed, feeling her melt below me. This was the place I’d longed and dreamed to be since finding her again. While the heat and emotion was beginning to take over my brain, I felt her tense up a bit, and suddenly wondered if I was moving too fast.
Begrudgingly pulling away, I ran my hand softly through her hair. “You are so beautiful, Bri.” It was all I could say to keep from asking why she’d tensed up. And I needed to get out of this heat, this bubble we’d created on the beach.
Really, I need a cold shower.
Hopping up, I reached a hand down, lifting her off the sand. “Let’s get you back to your room. We have a big day tomorrow.”
Nodding, she brushed the sand off her behind. Without thinking, I took her trembling hand in mine. It was something that had become so natural these last couple of days.
But why is she shaking?
Not wanting to make her uncomfortable, I asked, as we walked back to the hotel, “Are you cold?”
She shook her head. “It’s not that. To be honest, I’m scared at how fast I’m feeling this close to you again.” Outside the lobby doors, she stopped and tugged on my arm. “Josh, thank you,” she said, with a hint that she was holding in her emotions.
I frowned. “For what?” I’d thought I’d scared her, and now she was thanking me?
Looking down at my chest, she placed both hands on my shoulders and glanced up. I could tell it was taking every ounce of courage to say what she needed to.
“For caring about me, and for—believing in me. For seeing the good in me.” A single tear rolled down her face, falling onto my shirt sleeve.
I nodded, lost for words. My heart was breaking as I watched her. How could someone have so little faith in themselves? I didn’t know how, but was damn sure I was going to help her find that confidence and put those pieces back together again.
Chapter Twelve
What if I’m Wrong?
Bri
I tossed and turned all night after Josh dropped me off. By the time we’d gotten back to my door, I’d all but given him the green light to come in. I was ready to take our make out session to the next level, but he gave me a final peck on the lips and said he’d see me in the morning.
I reasoned it away by reminding myself of his promise to me, that he’d let me make that first move. But he’s a guy. He’s supposed to make that move. Only whores make the first move.
Confused, I laid in bed, staring at the ocean through the large hotel room window. Suddenly, something hit me like a ton of bricks.
Wait. Those are my mother’s words. I need to trust what he’s telling me, not the poison she’s fed me.
In desperate need of clearing my mind from this negativity, I decided to go for a quick swim. I stepped over the mess on the floor and dug through my suitcase until I found my new black, tangerine and pink sports bikini. When I’d seen the bathing suit online, I immediately ordered it for this trip. It was perfect to go swimming in but because of the extra straps that ran over the hip area and across my ribs, I didn’t plan on soaking in the sun wearing it. Nobody wants weird tan lines like that.
After getting dressed and putting my hair in a long pony tail, I threw on my cover-up, flip flops, and grabbed a towel on my way out.
Hey, where’s my phone? I stood at my open doorway, trying to remember the last time I’d seen it. Oh right, I hadn’t brought it. And, now that I thought
about it, I hadn’t missed it either. The incessant beeping, my mother’s calls—all things I could do without.
With a lighter step, I headed for the pool. I couldn’t wait to get a couple of laps in this morning. Hopefully there would be no kids this early.
I rounded the corner and peered into the large space. The pool was huge, and I could see someone doing laps but no splashers, thank goodness. The other swimmer looked like he meant business too, which worked for me. I set my towel on a lounge chair, and slipped off my cover up. Feeling eyes on me, I glanced over my shoulder, and caught a glance of the other swimmer—Josh?
I had to suppress a giggle when I saw his eyes bugging out. There was no way to hide my blush.
How could I ever doubt that he wants me?
“Hey.” He swam up as I stepped in the cool water. “Didn’t think I’d be seeing you for a couple of hours.”
I undid my ponytail, wincing as I accidentally yanked a few strands of hair out. “I try to swim whenever I can. Helps to start my day off right.” Threading my fingers through my hair, I twisted my locks into a bun, securing it with the rubber band.
He squinted one eye, closing his other to avoid falling droplets. “You any good?”
I laughed internally. “Yeah, state champion.”
He nodded in understanding and snickered.
Little does he know I’m not kidding.
Caleb, Stefen, and I were trained swimmers and were, in fact, each all state champions at different times growing up.
My mom had a shit fit when a scout had offered me a swim scholarship for college. She’d thought I had applied for it and was out to embarrass the family by making it seem like I needed money for college. That was my last meet.
Man, I have some screwed up memories.
Josh must’ve been able to tell I was thinking about something negative because a flash of concern crossed his face momentarily before he grinned, pulling me in. “Wanna race?”
I gave him a small challenging smile. I was here to swim, not think. We got out, stood at the pool’s edge, and dove in at the same time. He kept up my pace for a while, then I stepped it up, swimming laps around him before getting out.
Water dripped off my body as I moved over to a lounge chair, pulling my hair out of the band once again. I was drying myself off when he finally made it out of the pool.
He bent forward, catching his breath. “So—state champion. You weren’t kidding, were you?”
I chuckled, pleased with myself as I wrapped the towel around my hair. “Nope. I wasn’t kidding.”
He looked more than impressed as he picked up his towel. “Well, you definitely left me behind.” Messy waves appeared as he rubbed the towel on his head. Snaking his arms around my bare waist, he pulled me closer. “Mind if I kiss you?”
Goosebumps broke out under the droplets of water on my skin. “Not at all,” I murmured, already anticipating it. His lips touched mine just as softly as they had the night before. And at the gardens. Once again, it felt magical, but—
Why is he being so gentle? Does he think I’m going to break?
He looked around, then asked in a low tone, “Can I walk you back to your room?”
I frowned. What’s up with him?
I wrapped my hands a little tighter around the back of his neck. “I think I can find it on my own,” I said lightly. “How about I meet you at the restaurant with everyone for breakfast?”
He hesitated, leaning in to rub his nose on mine. It was an intimate gesture and had my heart racing all over again.
“I was kinda hoping we could do something different this morning. Just the two of us.”
Excited, I gave him a shy smile. “Really?”
Hopeful, Josh’s grin reached his eyes. “Yeah. I was thinking we could spend the morning together before we have to go our separate ways for the guy and girls’ activities before the wedding.” His hungry eyes roamed my body. Yes, the bathing suit was a good choice for this weekend.
“What did you have in mind?”
He looked around and grunted, while I slipped on my flip flops, wondering what was bugging him. Draping my cover up over my arm, I waited for him to reply. When he lowered his eyes at the guy who passed by, I had a sneaking suspicion about what was irking him. Of course I usually noticed when guys looked at me. I chose not to respond to it.
He cleared his throat. “Well, we have all morning before you have to join the girls at the spa, so I thought we could have breakfast, just the two of us, and maybe go jet skiing or something.”
A group of guys just entered the pool area, and Josh’s gaze darted to them, watching them with an intense gleam in his eye. I tried not to roll my eyes, but he grabbed my cover up from my hands and sloppily tied it around my waist.
“Um—” I started, but he pulled me out of the humid place before I had a chance to finish that thought. So he doesn’t like me prancing around in public, half naked. Oh, here we go. Though, it annoyed me, it was also kind of sweet.
Smoothing down my clothes, I understood where he was coming from. I wasn’t looking forward to other girls drooling over him either.
When I remembered what he’d just said, I realized we were going to be separated for most of today. “I still don’t understand why you guys get to go to the Grand Prix dirt bike races, and I have to go to the spa. I go to the spa all the time.” It sounded like a funny thing coming from a girl’s mouth, but I wasn’t a regular girl.
In the elevator, he held onto my hand and leaned back against the wall, pulling me between his separated legs. “You could always join us.” His thumb traced small circles on the top of my hand while he looked at me with hope in his eyes.
As much as I’d like to, it wouldn’t be fair to Alison. I let out a frustrated sigh, then said, defeated, “I’m supposed to be here for Alison. I haven’t really spent much time with her.”
We stepped out of the elevator, and it wasn’t lost on me that we were still holding hands. It was beginning to feel so natural.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right,” he grumbled, scrunching up the corner of his mouth.
Turning, I walked sideways as I asked, “Where’s your room anyway?”
He pointed his finger over my shoulder. “Up two floors, on the other side of the hotel, room four-thirty-two.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “It actually has a balcony with the same ocean view as your room. You could always switch with me, if you like.”
I opened my door, glanced over my shoulder then stood in the hall for another moment. “Yeah. Probably better if I just stay put.” I giggled knowing what he was about to see.
His eyes widened as he peered past me, into the room. “Holy shit, it’s worse than it was last night. You sure know how to make a place look lived in.”
I smacked his chest. “Hey. I am a girl. Mostly,” I chuckled.
He leaned in and kissed me. “Yeah, you look like a girl but you’re messier than any guy I know.”
“My mom was right about one thing. I’m a slob.” I actually thought it was funny, admitting that something so trivial was true.
“Nah. It’s not that bad,” he said with a face, clearly lying. “Okay, get ready, and I’ll be back in, say, thirty minutes?”
I smiled and figured I could be ready in thirty minutes, if I rushed. “Sure.”
As I shut myself in the room, a sly grin came over my face.
But I think I’ll pick you up this time.
⁂
Josh
I ended my call with Stefen and, as I suspected, things were coming to a head with Bri’s mother. She was on a warpath and wasn’t holding anything back. Stefen sounded like he was about to lose his shit after his mom phoned his house and called Leah a money grubbing whore.
Honestly I was surprised he’d even told me that. He was so pissed off.
I was starting to get anxious and really concerned about what Bri was going to walk in to when she got back to Santa Barbara. No one should ever have to deal with this shit from a parent. I co
uld only imagine what it’d been like for Stefen, too.
As I finished zipping up my shorts, a knock sounded. Pulling the door open, I blinked at Bri standing there, wearing a black ribbed tank top and little white shorts that ended just above her black lacy garter belt tattoo.
Swallowing hard, I was glad the bottom half of my body had been underwater when I saw it this morning. That bikini left nothing to the imagination. But it wouldn’t have mattered what she wore. My body reacted to her, no matter what.
“I had to take a look at this balcony you talked about.” She bounced on the balls of her feet, wearing an old beat up pair of black Converse.
Finally, I stopped gawking. Am I drooling? I touched my mouth to make sure. “Oh yeah, come in.” I stepped aside, allowing her to pass.
She made a beeline for the open balcony door and leaned against the railing outside. “Wow. It’s breathtaking. We don’t have all those gorgeous sailboats coasting around at our beaches.” She slid her hands in her tiny back pockets. “Look at that one out there. Man,” she said, awed.
I stepped up behind her, kissing her bare shoulder. “If you didn’t get seasick, I’d take you out on one of those right now.” I rested my chin on her shoulder and turned my head, running my nose along her neck as I moved her long dark hair to the side. “You smell so good. I don’t even need breakfast. Just you.”
She spun around with a hurt look on her face. “Then why do you keep kissing me and walking away?”
What? My eyes widened. “I told you I’m letting you take charge. I know I keep getting carried away, but it’s your call.”
Narrowing one eye, she pursed her lips. “Maybe I’m not the kinda girl who makes the first move. Maybe I want you to show me what you want.”
Confused, I furrowed my eyebrows.
This has got to be tied to some insecurity she’s fighting.