by Kimi Flores
I could feel my dad reminding me that even the most horrid past had a power to pave the way to what could be a beautiful life. If my mother hadn’t abandoned me, I would’ve never been his son. With every disease that had attacked our grapes, we were shown the weakest plants so we could make the crops stronger. For every negative there was a positive, if we were willing to seek it out.
Now I needed to make sure I didn’t waste any minute of the journey, starting with today’s trip that I prayed would show her just how valuable she was to me.
When I’d knocked on her door this morning and saw the dejected look on her face, I was glad I’d asked her not to make plans. I wasn’t sure if she usually followed a yearly ritual on her father’s anniversary, but I knew I wanted to be there for her.
Anyone who really knew her would not be fooled by the mask she hid behind. She was trying to convince the world she was happy, but deep inside I knew she was holding back her sadness.
I’d made sure to also call Leah to see how she was handling the day, and she assured me that Stefen had a full day planned for her as well. I was so grateful for my friendship with both of them.
“Thanks for taking me on this little getaway today. I’m sure it’s not easy for you to leave your dad behind.” The sincerity in her voice brought a smile to my lips.
“You’re welcome, but honestly, I need this, too. And Josh was more than happy to hang out with him.” Had it not been for Stefen’s suggestion to also give Josh the right to make medical choices for Dad, I probably wouldn’t have driven us an hour away from home.
It was already ten o’clock by the time we finally made it to the Rose Valley Falls campground area. After parking, I grabbed my insulated backpack filled with our lunches before heading toward the trail. The path was easy to hike, but I knew from experience that we’d work up an appetite by the time we made the one-hour trek up to the waterfalls.
Small dead leaves covered the ground, but since autumn had just started last week, most of the tree branches above our heads still had enough foliage to shade the path. Tiny gnats buzzed in our ears, making sure we knew whose turf we were invading.
I watched Dani’s unpolished fingers grip a rock as she pulled herself up. She’d always painted her nails, and I had to wonder if she’d been spending so much time taking care of Dad lately that she wasn’t indulging in the things that made her happy. I’d have to change that.
Dragonflies, butterflies, and several other flying insects waltzed all around us, enjoying the thick, early fall air. We moved to the side to allow a family coming in the opposite direction to pass by. When a boy, who looked to be no more than five, steered toward the edge of a cliff, the mom jumped forward to grab his hand, pulling him away. Dani giggled low enough so that only I heard.
Once they’d passed, I whispered, “I can tell you from experience that all guys are curious, but that tends to get us in trouble, too.”
As the family traveled past us, I caught Dani eyeing the sleeping baby strapped into a backpack carrier that was attached to the father's back. There was a spark in her eye that I hadn’t seen in a long time.
I touched her hand once the family rounded the next bend. “Ready to keep going?”
The corners of her beautiful lips turned up into a smile. There was nothing like being in her presence when she was happy. “Yeah, let’s go.”
We were hot and sweaty by the time we got to our destination. Because of the California drought, there was only a small trickle of water running down the lower falls and not even a drop coming down the three-hundred-foot upper fall. The sunlight hit the dribble just right, creating a mini rainbow.
I pointed to the dry ravine, disappointed that she wouldn’t get to see the usual light reflecting off the top of the water. I’d hoped to show her a special place to me, but without any recent rain, it lost some of its majesty. “We used to go swimming in the stream that’s normally there.”
“It’s beautiful here.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back to let the sun kiss her face. I’d never been so jealous of the sun before.
I spotted a batch of flat boulders in the shade. “Why don’t we eat here?”
We pulled our packs off and, while Dani took a long swig from her water bottle, I set everything up.
“Pffttt,” she spit. “Yuck, I think I just swallowed a bug.”
“Oh crap. I forgot about the bug spray. Hold on.” I dug in my bag until I found the small bottle. “Close your eyes and mouth.”
I sprayed my homemade concoction of witch hazel, rosemary, clove, cajeput, lavender, cinnamon, and eucalyptus all around us, hoping to create a temporary barricade between the insects and our food.
She grinned. “You’re quite the boy scout, aren’t you?”
I stood straight, clicked my legs together, and gave her a salute. “At your service, my lady.”
She continued to giggle and shake her head while we took our seats. I was a little nervous as I unpacked the food, hoping this wouldn’t alter the mood or overstep any boundaries. “So I’m sure these are nowhere near as good as the ones your father used to make, but I hope they bring you that missing piece today.”
I handed her a paper plate with lukewarm cheese pupusas on it, as well as the pickled cabbage—curtido—that normally accompanies the dish.
Her mouth hung open as she reached for the plate. “You made these?”
“Yeah. I’ve been working on perfecting them for a few days, but I had to throw away most of the batches. It takes some serious talent to make these things.”
Her movements froze as she held the plate, staring at the food with the same enamored look Josh and Stefen had when they stared at their daughters. “I—I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“Why wouldn't I?” Food was one of the easiest ways for me to show my feelings. I would make a million more if it would help sooth her today.
“I just—wow. Thank you.” When she finally looked at me, I watched the tears dance just behind the rims of her lids. Her eyes reminded me of the wishing pond I used to throw pennies in as a kid.
As she took a big bite, I waited for the verdict. I knew they would never hold the magic of her father's, but I could at least hope she wasn’t vastly disappointed.
“These are really good.” She reminded me of those cartoon characters who bobble their heads with a satisfied look on their face.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Phew. That culinary education is actually paying off, after all.” I wiped my forehead with a dramatic swipe.
She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Zachary, you don’t need me to tell you you’re an incredible chef, but to be honest, the best pupusas you will ever taste are served on the side of the road in El Salvador by a woman who probably never attended school a day in her life, let alone had any culinary training.”
“I believe it.” Now that I’d achieved what I set out to do, I brought my plate to my lap so I could eat, too. “Have you been to El Salvador before?” I tore off a piece of the doughy, cheesy goodness and popped it into my mouth.
She nodded then licked the cheese grease off her lips. “My dad made sure we went every year or two, either for Christmas and New Year’s or Easter. One time we went in August when basically the entire country takes a week off. We’d spend a few weeks with all of my cousins and had the best time. We used to call it our Narnia, but you know, without all the weird creatures and queen trying to kill us.” Her eyes lit up whenever she shared childhood memories from before her father’s passing.
As much as I enjoyed watching her tongue swipe across her lips, I figured I’d be a gentleman and hand her a napkin. “I knew your dad was from there, but I had no idea you’d gone so often.”
Her eyes turned wistful. “Yeah, Dad spent most of his childhood there, but he was sent to live with his aunt in the US during high school. He went straight into the police academy after that, met my mom, and settled here permanently. He had so many fond memories of where he grew up and made sure to not only share ou
r culture with us, but to ensure we were familiar with our heritage.”
“When was the last time you went?” We continued to eat and chat between bites. My eyes had a mind of their own and took in the curves of her ass, hips, and breasts each time she readjusted her behind on the rock.
“Maybe six or seven years ago. My cousins keep bugging me and Leah to go visit, but it was difficult being there without my dad the last time we went.” She stared off into the distance for a moment. “As far as I know, my older sister, Elaina, hasn’t gone since before Dad passed.”
I’d totally forgotten they even had an older sister. From what Dani and Leah had said, once their mom remarried a few years ago, Elena moved out of state with her kids and hadn’t contacted anyone in the family since.
“Still haven’t heard from her?”
She exhaled and leaned forward to swipe a few ants off her leg. “Nope, and I'm sure I won’t. She’s not exactly the easiest person to get along with and is probably off chasing after another guy who’ll take care of her and her kids. She was always lazy, never wanted to do things for herself.” Dani laid down the napkin after she’d finished cleaning her hands. “I don’t know where she learned that from, either. My mom and dad were equal partners. Neither sat back and let the other do all the work.”
“I couldn’t be with someone like that. Dad didn’t have a woman around, but he taught me how important it is to do your part.” And I’m forever grateful to him for that.
“I still think it’s sad he never found another woman like Jonata. I can totally picture him being such a romantic guy, with the right woman of course.” She swatted at the air. Apparently my homemade bug-repellant wasn’t as strong as I’d hoped. “Didn’t you find the story about Jonata fascinating? I wished your aunt knew more, like what happened to her. I’ve never understood why race should keep two people apart. I know it was a different time back then, but it just doesn’t make sense.”
I nodded. Social and racial inequality didn’t make sense to me either.
Josh’s parents, had come for a visit to see Dad and their new grandbaby the other day. After Dad had gone to bed, we all sat around the kitchen table and discussed our plan for keeping Dad comfortable and healthy. When I’d explained what had begun this ride, my aunt shared her limited knowledge about the past. It wasn’t much, just a few romantic rendezvous and details about Jonata’s upbringing, but it was still more than I’d been told.
I didn’t care to play the ‘what if’ game regarding my dad’s love life, so I tried to change the direction of our conversation. “Sometimes you only get one love in your life, and it’s not worth looking for someone who will never fill her spot.” I shrugged, but it did nothing for the tightness in my shoulders. This conversation was making me tense.
Her face fell for a brief second. “God, I hope that’s not true. I still want to find someone I can grow old with because my first love didn’t quite work out.” She said the last part in a quiet whisper, making my mental wheels spin. I wondered who she was referring to, but my gut told me exactly who it was.
Running her thumbnail across her smile, she seemed lost in a special memory. “The other day, I saw a video online of this sweet old man at the airport. He was standing at the gate, waiting to greet his wife with flowers and candy. As soon as they saw each other, she smiled from ear to ear like she knew he would be there waiting for her. They kissed and hugged for a bit, then she walked away with her head on his shoulders as they held hands.”
The dreamy look in her eyes was such a beautiful sight.
She chuckled, looking off into the scenery. “The younger guy who’d been standing next to him recorded the whole thing. He’d talked to the older gentleman beforehand and found out that they'd been married something like forty-five years and, whenever she traveled, he was always at the airport to greet her with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. He said he never wanted her to feel like he’d stop trying to romance her, no matter how many years they’d been together. She loved when he showed everyone around what old-fashioned romance and love looked like.”
She sighed, still in her wistful state. “I want that. It’s what my mom and dad had so I know it’s real. Even after all the years they were together, every time they parted, he gave her a toe-curling kiss that left her wanting more.” As if she came back to reality, she pointed that dainty finger at me. “And Mr. Negative Outlook, my mother did find love again with Sal. It took her a while to get over Dad, but she didn’t close her heart to the prospect of love again.”
I gulped down my last bite, wishing things would have aligned for us. If she’d been mine, I’d love to give her everything she’d ever want. But especially now, with everything going on with Dad, it just wasn't possible. “I really hope you do find that person, Dani. You deserve to be happy.”
“I do too, but for now I’ve sworn off guys.” She made the same ‘out’ gesture that an umpired would. “I seem to attract nothing but assholes. I have plenty of other things I want to concentrate on for a while.”
I wondered if she lumped me in her band of assholes. Probably, but I hoped not. Taking a chance, I asked the question that had been bugging the crap out of me for weeks.
“Any news on Eric?” Last I’d heard, after he’d made bail, he split town and there was a warrant out for his arrest.
She dabbed her lips with her napkin and crumbled the paper plate into a ball. “No, I’ve stopped looking. I’m not worried about him. He has no idea where I live and, besides, we didn’t mean anything to each other so it’s not like he’s going to come looking for me.”
It still bugged the shit out of me that he’d been within my grasp. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve kicked myself for not realizing who he was that day. I would’ve beat the hell out of him if I’d known.”
She rubbed her hands on the top of her thighs. “He’s not worth it. Eric’s just some dumb ass guy who has no respect for women and tries to get by with his looks. I really don’t think he maliciously came back to hurt me, but I do think he was high. His eyes were crazed, pupils dilated. That mixed with me pissing him off, he snapped.”
I pictured the way she looked when she’d finally opened the door that day. “Dani, drugs or not, he had no right to leave his damn fingerprints on you and bust up your face. I’m not okay with that. No man has a right to leave a woman in that condition.”
“I know that.” As she spoke, she undid her ponytail, twirled her long dark hair around her fingers then secured it into one of those messy bun things. How the hell did girls do that so fast without looking? “I’ve watched enough women in abusive relationships make excuses for their men, all while hiding their bruises under make-up.” The empathy was clear in her tone.
From what she’d told the officer, he'd only injured her the one time. The other bruises were from something else. Fuck. I did not need to be thinking about what she’d said about him being rough with her in bed. Without permission, those damn images swirled around in my mind, making the top of my head pound.
“What was so appealing about him?” I asked, sounding irked. I was turning our getaway into an uncomfortable conversation, but I had to know.
She shrugged and looked down at the floor. “Nothing really. I was lonely and he asked me out. I knew it wasn’t anything serious. I didn’t want serious with him.”
Another thing had been irritating me. The second guy in the car may not have caused her pain, but what kind of asshole left a woman behind in that condition? “Who was he with that day?”
Her body twisted toward me as she placed her palm on the surface behind her and leaned back. “His brother, but he didn’t do anything wrong. He’s the one who made Eric leave. He wanted to help me, but I made him go so he’d take Eric away. It seemed like he’s a victim of Eric’s lifestyle, too.”
“It looked like his brother was about to bust his ass right before I walked into the courtyard. I still wouldn’t mind having a chance to pop him in the face.” I clenched and
unclenched my fist at the thought.
Her eyebrows creased together in concern. “I wouldn’t want you to do that, Zachary. More violence won't solve his issues.”
“Maybe not, but it might make him think twice before he manhandles another girl.” I’d opened the door, I may as well walk on through, right? “We need to get moving, but I have to ask one more thing.” I felt the anticipation building for both of us. “Did our night together have anything to do with you settling for an asshole like Eric? Did my mistake that morning make you so lonely you went out with him?”
With honesty in her eyes, she put her hand on my cheek and wiped the crumbs I had missed with her thumb. “No, Zachary. I was upset and hurt when I left your house, but my reason to be with him was to help me get through the pain of missing my daddy. I guess it all worked out for the best because I’m rid of him, and I have my best friend back to share this day with me. Every storm offers a majestic rainbow, right?”
What the hell just happened? That was the second time this week I’d been reminded that bad times could create beautiful tomorrows. Was God trying to tell me something? “What do you say we pack this up and head to our next destination?”
Her face lit up, a sight I could never tire of. “Oh, we’re going somewhere else too?”
I was dying to take her hand, but I barely refrained. “Yeah, I’ve got you booked for the whole day. Next up, massages at the spa.” My hands twitched at the thought of caressing her body. The more time we spent together, the more difficult it had gotten to not touch her that way.
Her eyes widened. “Massages. I’m impressed.”
I couldn’t help but grin but she didn’t need to know the dirty thoughts that were running through my mind. “Then I’ve done my job.”