by R. M. Healy
She picked up another plate and tray from the cupboard, and Anton took the plate from her and put it on the stack he already held.
Smiling at him, she walked to the living room and opened the door to her family, who sat talking loudly over the sound of the television.
Her father hadn’t been this happy since thanksgiving, and Esther loved it. When he saw Anton, his smile grew wider. Anton put the plates on the coffee table and held his hand out to Esther’s father, and nodded in return, a sign of respect Esther felt warmed by.
“Anton, what a pleasant surprise,” her father said, looking toward Esther, a knowing smile. Esther didn’t know how to interpret his reaction.
Anton greeted everyone in the room. Jae frowned, watching Anton closely. Esther didn’t understand why Jae seemed to suddenly dislike Anton, and she didn’t want to ask him in front of her entire family.
“Chan, may I look at the menu,” she asked.
He handed her his phone, and Esther sat on the large footstool, leaving the spare dining chair for Anton. He chose to leave the chair empty and sit right beside her, their shoulders touching.
“I’ll have the same as you,” Anton said without looking at what she was even ordering.
She hadn’t planned on ordering anything but nachos because she probably wouldn’t eat anyway. She didn’t want Anton commenting on her weight, too, so she decided to just order him a spicy burrito and his own nachos.
As they waited for the food, the conversation flowed smoothly, and Esther couldn’t believe how charmed her family was by Anton. They always liked her ex-husband, but they never showed as much enthusiasm around him as they did with Anton.
Besides Jae, who was making his dislike for Anton very clear. When the food came, Esther thought no one had noticed her much smaller meal until Anton cut his burrito in half and put it on her plate without a word.
When she bit into it, she had to admit, it was delicious, and she ended up enjoying the whole thing.
“Anyway, we better be off. Mom and dad came straight here from the airport and have yet to unpack their bags,” Chan said after the plates had been cleared and the rubbish disposed of.
“Esther,” Jae in the doorway, nodding his head toward the kitchen.
She followed him out, unsure of what he wanted.
“Can we meet up for coffee this week?” He questioned, his concerned face resembling her father’s so much it would have been impossible to say no.
“Yes. Tell me why you seem so agitated tonight?” She asked.
He let out a heavy sigh through his nostrils and looked away.
“I don’t trust him, Esther. The things I’ve heard about him, he is not the kind of man I want any family member of mine dating,” Jae said, obviously talking about Anton.
“We aren’t dating,” Esther said a little too fast.
Just as Jae was about to continue talking, his parents came in to hug Esther goodbye, and she could see the annoyance on his face.
“Text me when you’re free, any day. I’ll make time,” Jae said when it was his turn to embrace her.
She nodded in response and already dreaded meeting with him. She wasn’t dating Anton or anything else. The fact of why he was at her parent’s house was still a mystery for her too.
“Would you like a lift home?” Anton asked when Esther walked back into the living room.
“No, thank you, I have my car here. I’ll walk you out.”
When he bid her parents farewell, she followed him out of the front door into the bitterly cold night.
“Are you staying here long?” Anton questioned.
“Another ten minutes, maybe. Peter should be here at any moment.”
Anton’s eye squinted at the mention of Peter, and Esther frowned.
“I will wait outside your apartment. I want to talk to you in private, and here isn’t the right place. You’re shivering from the cold, Anton said, reaching out and taking her hand.
“What if I don’t want you to wait at my apartment?” She asked, looking at their joined hands
“I’ll be there anyway. See you soon, Essie,” He placed a warm kiss on her cheek before walking down the driveway into the night.
Leaving Esther questioning why and what he wanted to meet at her apartment for.
She took a deep breath as she pulled off the freeway closer to her apartment. She was nervous about seeing Anton. His showing up at her parents’ house unannounced had thrown her since it was the last thing she expected.
He was like a new person from the arrogant male model she had met over the years, and she really liked the Anton she had gotten to know the last month.
But she wasn’t in the right place for anything with a man.
She had always thought she’d be happily married and a mother by the time she was thirty. Falling out of love with her husband was never part of the plan, and although she still knew it was the right thing to divorce him, it didn’t stop her from becoming anxious about her future alone. Since the divorce, it seemed her life was unraveling into an uncontrollable mess.
And her feelings for Anton the last month had only made things more complicated.
His flashy car stuck out amongst the other vehicles in the lot next to her apartment complex. She didn’t know how the press still wasn’t following him when he drove around in such an ostentatious car.
The rain was coming down heavy when she got out of her car, and she quickly jogged to the entryway. When she got under the canopy, she knew her hair was already soaking, and it had been pointless.
“If you’d have waited in your car, you could have shared my umbrella,” Anton casually said as he put down his large umbrella, not a drop of water on him.
“Isn’t hindsight wonderful,” Esther said sarcastically, walking through the door with Anton laughing behind her. Just like the week before, neither spoke on the way to Esther’s apartment. But, unlike last time, she’d remembered to put the heating on for her return.
“Are we going to make it to coffee this time?” Anton questioned as she walked into the kitchen.
“I thought you came here to talk?” She said, boiling the kettle and putting the cups out. Anton hung his umbrella on the hook by the door and kept a safe distance between them.
“I have. Do you want any help, or should I wait in the other room?” He asked.
“No, thanks. You can go and take a seat and put the TV on if you want,” she said, keeping her back turned to him.
Esther heard his footsteps as he walked away, and she let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.
It didn’t take long for her to finish their drinks, and she could hear the intro to one of her favorite shows as she walked into the living room.
“Space…” Anton joked, walking over to take the drinks from her. He’d already put two coasters down side by side on the coffee table in front of her small two-seater sofa.
“I never thought you were nerdy enough to sit here watching this by yourself. It's cute.”
Esther had it on in the background earlier as she cleaned the apartment, and it was her last viewed show on the app.
“It’s not nerdy. It’s a top-rated show actually, a timeless classic,” she said, smiling as she took her seat.
“Do you get lonely here? After leaving your parents’ house?” He asked.
She used to think it was cozy and modern. Recently it had begun to feel cold and empty, especially after leaving her parents’ house to come back here. And she did feel lonely. Lonelier than she’d felt in her entire life.
“Sometimes. Did you when you had your own place?”
“I was never really alone,” he said, looking away for a moment, “But when I look back, I suppose I was yes.”
Esther knew precisely what he meant by not being alone. She could only imagine how many women had visited his old apartment.
“I see,” she mumbled, picking up her hot drink.
“When I think about my life then, it's like looking a different p
erson. I was immature, selfish, and weak,” he said. “I’ve always felt a sense of guilt over my little sister’s death. We were best friends when we were younger. We did everything together,” Anton smiled as he sipped his coffee.
“The older we got, the more I wanted to do my own thing and not hang around with my little sister. The babysitter was supposed to be watching her, so I snuck off into our old barn. We knew we weren’t allowed in there, but kids do what kids do.”
He shook his head and took a deep breath. Esther listened, scared about how the story was going to end.
“I had a hole I used to crawl in at the back of the barn, and I used to climb up to where the previous owners kept the hay. It was like my own little den. But Isabella followed me, and I never knew. She tried to climb up the loft. But the ladders were broken, and she didn’t know which ones were safe.”
Pulling the cup up to his lips, he finished his drink and put the cup down a little too hard, causing some to spill over the sides.
“If I’d have never gone in the shed, then it would have never happened. Isabella fell, and she hit her head on an old piece of equipment. It killed her. I never forgave myself for letting it happen.”
It was clear he was trying to hide his pain, but she could see it all the same.
“Oh Anton,” she put her hand over his own, “I never knew.”
“Really?” Anton asked. “The press wasn’t shy in talking about it.”
“I don’t follow that crap,” Esther replied. He moved her hand and put his fingers through her own as she spoke.
“That’s one of the reasons I like you, Essie. You are different. You always have been,” he said, closer to her now than he had been just moments ago.
“You are trying to change the conversation,” she stated, looking straight back at him, her brows raised.
“I’m not. There is just nothing else left to say on the subject. Besides, that’s not the reason I came to see you,” Anton leaned forward, and Esther lay back into the corner of the sofa.
“What is the reason?” She asked, her voice husky.
His body was almost flat against hers as he spoke, and Esther could feel his excitement pressing against her. She felt the same.
“I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye before I went to Italy. I’ve missed you,” he said before his lips pressed against her own. His hair was soft as she ran her hands through it. His hands pushed her top up, resting over her stomach.
She felt conscious when his thumb ran over her hip bone. It reminded her of the weight she’d been losing. When Anton’s hands moved away, and he began to unbutton her jeans with one hand, she tried to forget about her insecurities.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” Anton said, his lips moving down to her neck. His wet lips kissing her skin, causing shivers down her spine. “Since I walked out of here a week ago, I’ve wanted to be near you.”
His words mirrored Esther’s own feelings, and she was glad it wasn’t one-sided.
“You’re not the only one who felt that way,” she said, her voice whiney as she attempted to reach for his shirt. His gloved hand gripped her wrists between his own, and he pinned them above her head.
“Have you been fantasizing about me, Essie?” He smiled down in satisfaction, knowing the answer to the question already. “Keep your hands where they are.”
Esther was more than happy to keep her hands where they were, especially when he leaned back and began unbuttoning his shirt.
“What’s with the new glasses?” She questioned.
His brows pulled together, and he looked down at her.
“So I can see you clearly. I usually wear contacts,” Anton said as he shrugged off his blazer and shirt, showing his perfectly toned body. When he unbuttoned his trousers, Esther felt herself tighten below. She wanted him.
“Do you like this blouse?” Anton asked, running one hand over the silky fabric. She found it bizarre timing to be asking about her fondness of her outfit.
“Er, it’s ok?” She responded.
He didn’t say anything as he leaned forward to kiss her again, Esther’s hands pressed against his firm chest, feeling the heat from his skin. The loud ripping sound made her jump, and Anton moved back just enough for her to see his satisfied smile.
“I’ll buy you a new one.”
She didn’t have time to say anything, for his lips pressed down on hers, and his hands brushed over her thin bra with his gloved hand, an annoying barrier between their skin.
“Take it off,” she said, desperately holding her hand over his own.
“No. I don’t want to touch you with it,” Anton said, trying to distract her by kissing her again.
“Please?” She practically panted.
“No. Don’t ask me again,” he said firmly and pulling the fabric down from her bra just enough to release her nipple, which he immediately touched.
This time his distraction worked, and she let out a low moan and moved her hands to run down his chest and towards his waist.
His hands did the same, and he had her jeans unbuttoned within seconds. She attempted to get his trousers off, but it was impossible from the angle she was at, and she began to get frustrated.
Anton’s smirk as he stood up made her even more annoyed. He didn’t seem phased at all, unlike her. When he stood up, she saw the trail up the whole side of his body where he was burned, his forearm still covered by a bandage, the part of his body that would take the longest to heal.
Esther made sure not to look even though she found it made him more attractive. He would think otherwise if she stared and she knew it.
What she couldn’t stop staring at was the enormous bulge that could barely fit in his tight black briefs.
“I have a condom,” he said, overseeing her face to see her reaction. Unfortunately, the only one she had was one of relief.
“Hurry up then,” she challenged, waiting for him to finish undressing.
He grinned as he bent down and slowly gripped her jeans and underwear. Pulling them down, she sat up and took off the remains of her shirt, and she unfasted her bra. She smiled up at him and moved her own hand between her legs, teasing him for a change.
“You’re perfect,” Anton said, dropping her clothes and pulling his own off. Other than his glove, Esther found it so ridiculous and couldn’t stand seeing it.
“We can do this on one condition, you take that stupid glove off,” she said, nodding at his hand.
He hesitated, clearly torn.
“I’ve seen all the rest of you Anton, you think I really care? I want you to touch me with your hands, not that.”
Pulling the condom from his jeans before he dropped his jeans on the floor, he slowly sat back on the chair, his knees on either side of her legs as he leaned down inches from her face.
“You’d fuck me with or without it, and you know it,” Anton arrogantly said as his hard length pressed against her stomach.
“But since you asked, fine.”
Esther didn’t pay attention as he pulled it off. She used her hand to cup his length, then using her second when she remembered just how big he was.
His scared hand moved down and between her legs where she was already wet, ready for him. His lips touched her nipple, and as his finger rubbed her down below, she shivered and let out a low moan.
If he carried on, Esther knew it would only take her seconds to orgasm. His hand moved away, but his tongue flicked over her nipple, and she moaned again, loving the sensation.
The noise of the wrapper tearing made her even more excited. It had been so long since she’d had sex, and she knew the chemistry between her and Anton was too much for them not to enjoy it. He sat back, sliding the condom on, then used the tip of himself to rub her clit.
Her head fell back, and she gripped her sofa. Just when she thought the sensation couldn’t get any better, he slowly entered her. She was tight, and not only was his length long but also thick. The feeling was amazing, and she looked up into his e
yes as she groaned in pleasure, the moment between them too much to put into words.
At first, his movements were slow, and his thumb rubbed her clit, enough to pull her close to the edge, and she ran her hands down his back, not caring about his scars.
He gripped her leg and pulled it against his chest, and his movements sped up.
Esther felt an intense clitoral orgasm and Anton hitting her G-spot. The unbelievable sensation continued as Anton thrust inside of her, and so did her loud screams. She never wanted the feeling to stop.
Of course, Anton had to come too, and when he did, Esther felt his body shake as he finished his last thrust.
“That was the best sex I’ve ever had,” Anton stated, his body slick with sweat as he took in deep breaths. Esther agreed with him.
Anton got up a couple of minutes later. Esther lay on the sofa, still feeling blissful after-effects of her orgasm.
“Are you ok?” Anton asked.
“More than ok,” she replied.
She heard his deep laugh as he moved around the room.
“I’ll make us a drink,” he commented, leaving her naked on the sofa.
What had happened between them was incomparable to anything she’d ever experienced before, and she felt very overwhelmed by all the emotions going through her. Slowly, she sat up and saw her ripped shirt on the coffee table and the rest of her clothing on the floor. There was no point putting them back on, so she picked up the pile of clothing and walked through to her bedroom.
From the back of her bedroom door, she grabbed her dressing gown and put it back on before walking back into the living room. She walked past the TV, which was still on, and found Anton in the kitchen, wearing nothing but his briefs as he stood with his arms crossed watching the kettle.
His posture was tense, and Esther hesitated before speaking.
“Want a glass of wine instead?” She asked, still just inside the doorway.
“No thanks, I don’t drink and drive,” he poured the hot liquid into a cup, not looking her way.
“You know, you could stay here if you want?” Esther even surprised herself with her offer. Not that she didn’t want him to stay. After what they’d just shared, she didn’t want him to leave. Things felt different between them.