by Nan O'Berry
Rows of colored sticky notes protruded from the pages. Anger flashed. Reaching out, she grasped the one thing that she held dear and with all her might, flung it across the room. The notebook connected with the wall giving off a resounding thud before falling to the floor. The pages fluttered like a collapsing rainbow. She watched the flutter of the brightly marked pages. Her chest heaved. Her chin trembled and bringing her hands to her face, Jenna finally broke, she cried and she sobbed.
№
The sound of birds singing outside woke Jenna from the endless dream. The man’s silhouette dressed in a black tux was running away from her in the dream. She kept trying to catch up to him, reaching out, and attempting to grab his arm…to no avail.
She brushed her thick dark hair that had fallen over her face away and slowly opened one eye. Her heart skipped a beat. Half of her wished yesterday was a nightmare and she might awaken to find her wedding – her wonderful wedding, the one she’d planned forever, had yet to take place. Looking across the room to her calendar full of colorful notes, she could clearly see the huge ‘X’ on Saturday.
“A big red X is probably a good letter to have there.”
With a sigh, she rolled onto her back and pulled the sheets over her chest, to stare at the ceiling.
A knock on the door disturbed her thoughts.
“Jenna. Honey, its Nonna.”
Jenna took a deep breath and stared at the door to the small cottage. She knew from experience, her grandmother would go nowhere until she let her in. Plopping her arms on the covers, she called out, “It’s open, Nonna.”
A crack in the doorway appeared and the kind face of her grandmother peeked around the door. “There you are.” She smiled and pushed it open wider to allow herself to enter. “I wanted to see how you were this morning.”
“Unmarried, just like yesterday,” Jenna replied, gloomily.
Her grandmother made a clicking sound with her tongue. “Stop that. Think of it as a blessing.”
“A blessing? How was it a blessing to be embarrassed and humiliated in front of friends and family?”
She watched her Nonna cross over to the bed and Jenna scooted her hips over, so she might perch on the edge.
Reaching out, her grandmother patted her arm.“Stop that. I never did like that boy anyway.”
“It’s not fair,” Jenna whispered and as she spoke, her chin trembled. “I was supposed to bebeginning my forever life.”
Her grandmother took a deep breath and let it out with her words, “Yes, it’s true, but God works in mysterious ways. Perhaps he knew that boy was not right for you.”
For a moment, she gave into the heartbreak as tears rolled down the sides of her face to disappear in her hair.
“There, there, don’t cry. He’s not worth it. What you need to do is to get up and face the world.”
“I don’t want to get up and face the world. I want the world to go away.” Jenna turned on her side and scrunched the quilt between her hands.
“No,” her grandmother said a bit more forcibly. “Today, you will rise.” She stood and grabbed the quilt hauling it back, exposing Jenna’s body to the warm morning air. “ACardilino does not hide from the world. Up. One day is enough in bed. I will allow you to mourn your loss for three days. Then, you must show the world your new face. The face of a survivor.”
“I’m afraid,” Jenna whispered.
“We are all afraid.” Her grandmother offered her a soft grin. “Your mother, God rest her soul, came home to ridicule when she found out you were on the way. But that didn’t stop her. She held her head up and faced the ridicule of St. Helena’s oldest families. In the end, she won them over.”
“My mother was braver than I am.”
“Not hardly, but she knew if she lay in the bed, people would always think the worst of her. She made my heart soar, just as you do.”
“Is it that easy, Nonna?”
“It can be.” Her gentle smile returned. “Think of it as a misstep in life. Yes, that’s what we will call it, a misstep. No one died. No one was physically hurt.”
Jenna started to open her mouth, but her grandmother’s open palm stopped her. “It’s only your pride that’s wounded. Trust me; this may be a blessing in disguise. So, up, get dressed. I will have breakfast ready in a few minutes. Now, repeat after me…I will not give into this.”
Her grandmother’s voice sounded so strong, she couldn’t deny her request. “No. No, I will not give into this.”
“Good. I expect you up and in the house in thirty minutes.”
“Yes, Nonna.” She lay still and listened to her grandmother’s retreating steps. A soft thud ruffled the covers at the foot of her bed. A deep purr followed. The pain in Jenna’s heart lessened as a huge orange tabby strolled along the bed and crawled onto her chest.
Sitting down, he blinked his green eyes and lifted a paw to lick.
“Hey, there Mister Man.” Jenna smiled. Reaching out, she stroked his fur with one hand. “You don’t care if I got jilted, do you?”
The cat paused his cleaning and stared down at her. “Meow.”
She stroked his ears and he closed his eyes in bliss. “I guess Rhodes wasn’t the man for us.”
The cat tilted his head and leaned into her fingers as Jenna massaged his cheek.
With a sigh, she ran her hands down the cat’s back. “You’re such a good boy. At least, you love me.” Picking the cat up, she sat him down on the pillow and slid from beneath the covers. Walking over to the wall, she bent down and picked up her planner. She stared at the notes composed in the weeks prior to her wedding.
“I made lots of plans,” she noted, flicking the papers and making them flutter. She glanced up at the bulletin board on the wall over her desk. The neat rows of notes placed on the appropriate days were her double checks. “But, none of them are going to tell me how to handle this.” With a sigh, she walked into the open flow of the living room, kitchenette area. Outside, the familiar click of sheers told her, that her grandfather was up and about. Jenna took a deep breath and released it. “I have to face the world at some point, don’t I, Mister Man?”
The cat blinked and turned in a circle to curl up on the pillow.
“You’re so wise. You enjoy your snooze. I’ve got to face the world.” She turned and gave a hesitant look toward the front door. “Whether I want to or not.”
Slowly, she opened the front door to the little cottage she rented from her grandmother and peered out. She didn’t know what to expect. But the world hadn’t ended, the morning sunlight wrapped the yard in its soft yellow beams that beckoned to butterflies and caused flowers to raise their heads to bask in its light. All seemed right with the world, just as it should be.
At the far end of the yard, her grandfather stood talking to the grapes at the end of the arbor.
Jenna’s lips parted in a soft smile. Her hands found the back pockets of her jeans as she made her way over to where he stood.“Morning, Grandpa.”
A lined face turned to see who was speaking. His hands gently let down the grapes he’d been holding.“Hello, pumpkin. Did you come to see me?”Today, his eyes were crystal clear and so full of life.
Jenna stepped up and put an arm around the bent shoulders of her grandfather. “I’ll always come to see you.” She looked over at the fruit and the vines that were his passion. “How are they doing today?” she whispered and placed her head on his shoulder.
“Oh, they are stretching.” He gazed at the vines and smiled. “Need a bit more water, I think.”He reached over and plucked a full white grape. Holding it up, they both watched as the sunlight captured the juice creating an iridescent white glow just beneath the skin.“See that.”Her grandfather’s voice was full of awe.“That’s the reward, the legacy of the grape. Once the juice is extracted, it can become the finest wine or the tartest vinegar,depending on how it’s handled.”
She raised her head.
He turned to look at her. The crinkled lines at the corner of his ey
es gave his face life. “Taste.” He held out the grape.
“Grandpa…” She shook her head.
“Taste,” he urged again.
Knowing that he wouldn’t give up, Jenna took the huge grape from his hand.
“Now, just put it in your mouth and let the skin dissolve.”
Jenna followed his direction. The skin was as soft as velvet. The warmth from the sun and his palm left the taste of summer on her tongue. She rolled the fruit against the roof of her mouth as a drop of juice emerged. Tinged with sugar, it seemed to melt into her mouth. She closed her eyes and savored its taste.
“Now, swallow.”
She did as her grandfather bid.“Oh, Grandpa, that was so good.” She swiped the back of her hand across her lips brushing away the telltale signs of the sweet, tasty feast.
“Hmm,” he hummed. Turning back to the grapes, he picked another and held it to the light. “Does this one look the same?”
Jenna stared at the grape as he held against the sunlight like the first one. It seemed to mirror the first in almost every way. “Yes.”
He smiled. “Open.”
Jenna’s mouth plopped open and he put the grape inside. She repeated the process only to have the sensation of something so sour that her mouth twisted in revulsion. She turned her head and spit the grape onto the ground.
“Bad, ey?” Her grandfather chuckled.
“Horrid,” she agreed.
“Let’s walk back to the house.”
Linking arms, they began to walk toward the back door to the main house.
“Grapes are like people,” her grandfather began. “Some are good. Some, not so good. They may all look the same until you spend some time with them. Rhodes, he was not so good. But you are my smart cookie. You’ll find another and he won’t be sour.”
Jenna pulled his arm tighter against her body and leaned into his shoulder. “I love you, Grandpa.”
He patted her hand and opened the door.“I love you too, my pumpkin.”
Jenna kissed his cheek and entered.
Chapter Four
Jenna wrestled the garment bag from the trunk of her car. No amount of wisdom from her Nonna was going to get her to keep it. She brushed a tendril of dark hair back from her face and stared down at the satin and lace. “Maybe you’ll be lucky for some other woman.” Glancing up at the building, she took a deep breath and marched forward.
Nothing had changed in three days and yet, everything felt different. The minute she walked into the St. Helena Hardware and Refurbish Rescue, conversations ceased. Jenna straightened her back and walked past the counter where Walt stood with two other men. She didn’t look at them. She moved past Walt with a nod of recognition and made her way back to where Connie worked her magic.
“Hello,” she called, peering around the edge of the opening that led to the back room of the Refurbish.
A red bandana wrapped head rose from behind a wooden dresser. Connie’s eyes widened and she pushed up from the floor to meet her.“Jenna? What are you doing here?”Connie pulled the rubber gloves from her hands before hurrying over to where Jenna stood, pulling her into a huge hug while crushing the bag between them.
“I’m trying to get my life back together.”
“You should take some time off.”
Jenna lifted her lips in a weak smile. “I took three days,” she whispered. “There’s nothing to take time off for. Or, have you not heard?”
Connie’s face took on a pained expression. “Oh, Jenna.”
Closing her eyes, Jenna held out the garment bag containing the wedding dress. “I should have listened to you. Perhaps, you can resell it or you can turn it into pillows, or drapes.” Her voice cracked.
Connie took the bag and sat it down beside the dresser she was working on. “Come. Come with me.”
Jenna let her take her by the hand and lead her to a seat away from prying eyes.
“Here, sit.” Connie pointed to the stool, then gave the order again, “Sit.”
Jenna sat down and stared at the floor.
“Honey…” Connie put her finger beneath her chin and turned Jenna’s face upwards. “You need some time to think.”
“I can’t. I can’t go back to the cottage and sit.”Her gaze searched Connie’s face.“Please, let me come back to work or at least give me something to make.”
Connie released a long deep breath. “Very well, I’ll give you something to make. I want you to take your time. I’ve got an order for some chintz cushions.”
Jenna’s smile became genuine. “Color schemes?”
Connie rose and pulled some sample booklets from the shelf behind her.
For the better part of an hour, Jenna felt herself relax. This is what she was born to do. Being in the old hardware store brought back a feeling of life into the void she’d been wallowing in. Helping to restore antiques to their former luster and bringing them new life, would help to do the same for her. “I’ll get these made and bring them back to you,” she promised.
Connie shoved the fabric books back onto the shelf. “Take your time. I won’t need it for a few weeks.”
Jenna turned to head toward the door.
“Wait, the dress?”
Jenna turned and shook her head. “No, keep it. I have no need for it.”
Walking out into the sunshine, she took a deep breath. The weight of the world seemed lifted from her shoulders. Fumbling with her sunglasses, Jenna stepped into the parking lot. I did it. I survived my first venture into the real world. She was within steps of her car when a familiar voice stopped her.
“Jenna! I’m so glad I found you.”
With a sigh, she turned to see Frankie heading toward her. Jenna pushed a loose tendril of hair behind her ear.“Hey, Frankie.”
Frankie hurried to her side. “I didn’t expect to see you here. I called the house and Miss Liliana told me you were out.” She glanced around, then lowered her voice. “We need to talk.”
“Talk?” Jenna felt her mouth grow dry. The beat of her heart sky rocketed. “What’s wrong?”
“Come with me,” Frankie hissed and placed an arm around Jenna’s waist steering her away from the hardware store. They crossed the alley between the town hall and the Picker’s Produce only to have to wait for traffic to allow them to pass.
“Can’t you tell me what’s going on?” Jenna lowered her voice so those passing by wouldn’t hear.
“Not until we’re in the clear. Come on.”Frankie grasped her elbow as if she were a fugitive from justice andwas hauling her into court. They crossed Main Street and entered the Sweet and Savory Bristo.
Lexi Deluca greeted them. “Oh, good, you found her. I’ve got a table for you right over here.” Lexi led them over to a small table away from the main door.“How about I bring something for you to drink and some appetizers?”
“I’m not really hungry,” Jenna murmured.
“Sure.” Frankie gave Lexi ‘the look.’
“Right.” Lexi turned on her heel and left.
Jenna slipped her purse off her arm and took a seat. Removing her sunglasses, she offered Frankie a no nonsense glare. “What is going on?” Her question sounded like a sharp command.
Frankie sighed and leaned over the table to speak in a hushed whisper, “He’s back. Back in town.”
Jenna’s lungs stopped functioning. Frankie didn’t need to ask who, she knew as her stomach rolled and plummeted. Rhodes, he’d returned. “How?” She lowered her voice.
“I saw him walking into Stan’s, earlier today.”
Jenna felt her world turn sideways. Didn’t he care that she would be embarrassed? Had he given any thoughts to her feelings at all? Apparently, not. Why would he, when he just up and ran off in the first place?
“Jenna?” Frankie leaned over and placed a hand on her arm. “Are you all right?”
“No. Yes. I-I don’t know.” She fidgeted in the chair. Her eyes rounded as she looked over at Frankie. “How could he? How? How could he dare to come back so
soon?” Her voice almost took on a wail factor.
Frankie reached over with a comforting touch. “Well, in all reality, where else would he go? This is his hometown too, Jenna.”
She took a deep breath and let the realization settle over her. Frankie was right, but it didn’t make it feel any better.
“What we need is a battle plan.”
Jenna glanced up at Frankie. “No, I’m not going to fight.”
“You’re not going to roll over and play dead either.”
“No, I’m not,” Jenna agreed. “But, I’m not ready to face him yet. I-I just can’t. It’s only been three days.”
“I know, Jenna. Hang in there. That’s why I wanted to find you, so you’d know.”
She nodded. “Thanks, Frankie. I appreciate you being the one to tell me.” Rising, she grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder.
“You’re leaving?”
Jenna nodded. “I want to get home. I’ll be in touch, Frankie, thank you.”
The sun was hot but the breeze lifted her hair from the nape of her neck and made her shiver. Not from cold, she trembled from fear. Focus on making it across the street. All you have to do is get to the car. She repeated the words over and over in her head, as she fished in her purse for the car keys. A shadow crossed her path and before she could look up, Jenna smacked into something so solid, it forced her to take several unsteady steps backwards.
“Oomph.”
The wind seemed to rush from her lungs. Her purse strap dropped from her fingers and dangled precariously spilling some of the contents. What distracted her more was the firm grip of the man’s fingers on her arm.
“Hey, you okay?”
The voice was familiar. She planted her feet and glanced up into the worried face of the gentleman who had driven her home from the wedding.
“Hey, you okay?”His hand slid down her forearm to hold her hand.
Jenna shifted her pocketbook, so she could grasp the second strap.“I’m fine. Just going to my car. I didn’t see you. I apologize.” She peered down at the items strewn across the sidewalk.“Oh!”