by Mary Eason
What was she thinking? That she could simply move in with this dangerous distraction and not be aware of everything about him? There was no way this would work out as anything but bad.
“Reyna, believe it or not, and in spite of what Cade may have told you, I don’t spend every waking minute of my day pursuing the opposite sex. I mean I do have a business to run, you know?”
Reyna started for the door. She felt like such an idiot giving away to Brody that she’d listened to Cade’s gossip.
Brody caught her before she reached the door and turned her to face him. “Reyna, you are not going to be in my way. I want you there. If I didn’t, I would never have asked you to move in with me. Once you’re settled in and ready, I can help you find a job if you’d like. There’s always something available at Samuels Advertising and I have an idea, but we can talk about all that later…,” he added.
“We can talk about it now. There’s no way I’m letting you find a job for me. I can do some things on my own, thank you very much. You’ve done too much as it is.”
“We can talk about this later, Reyna, once you’ve had a chance to get settled in.”
“It doesn’t matter when we talk about it. I’m still not leaning on you any more than I have already. I owe you far too much as it is and I don’t like that.”
“Reyna—this is crazy. You don’t owe me anything. We’re friends. This is what friends do for one another. You’d do the same for me if the situation were reversed, so stop worrying so much, would you. I want you there with me. End of discussion.”
“Uh-uh. Not by a long shot. I meant what I said about the job. I can find my own. I intend on paying rent while I’m living with you, so don’t even think about arguing with me about it. That’s the way it’s going to be, if it’s going to be. Understood?”
“Whatever you say, love. Just as long as you’re in my house by tonight, I really don’t care.”
Reyna looked into his blue eyes and wanted more than anything to simply walk into his arms and hold him close. Truly let herself be close to Brody just once. Something of that struggle within her must have shown in her eyes, but Brody misunderstood.
“Reyna, I know how hard this has been for you, but Cade’s gone. No amount of grieving will bring him back, you know? Cade’s dead—by his own hand. He chose to take his own life, just as if he’d taken a gun and shot himself. This way, he ended up taking four innocent victims with him. Not to mention the ones behind. Yourself…Harvey. Me. Cade chose his own path in life, Reyna, and it led to death, however unimaginable that may be.
“But you’re still so young. Far too young to give up living. In time, you will move on with your life. You may even find love again.”
Reyna shook her head denying those words immediately. “No. No, I can never go through that again. I can’t. I don’t ever want to feel this much pain again.”
He moved closer to her, inches away. She could feel the tension inside him once more. Brody hadn’t liked her answer and she didn’t understand why.
“Reyna, I know you’re hurting, but believe me, it will pass in time. You can’t stop living. Do you honestly think if it had been you who died instead, that Cade would stop living? I know he was your husband, but he was also my friend and I know him too well to believe that. Cade was my friend but for the most part, he was extremely selfish.
“You weren’t the one who died in that accident, Reyna. You’re still alive. You need to accept that you have to move on with your life. Time will ease your hurt but you have to do your part as well. You can’t stop living.” She felt his hands on her arms once more turning her to face him. “It’s okay to hurt. Don’t let it destroy you. You have far too much to live for to let that happen.”
Brody pulled her gently into his arms and Reyna went too willingly. He felt so strong. Brody had so much strength to offer. It might be wrong, but for the moment, she needed to be close to someone who was strong to make her feel alive again. She needed Brody’s strength more than she’d ever needed another human’s touch before him.
Reyna moved closer, her arms going around his waist. She could feel his tension coming between them once more before Brody slowly untangled her arms. Reyna was surprised to find reluctance in his eyes before he released her.
“I’m sorry…” She turned away fighting the rejection she felt at that moment. Friendship. That was all there would ever be between them.
“I’m sorry…we should just get this over with. I know I must be keeping you from…something. We can do this tomorrow if you’d like. I don’t want to interfere with your plans. That is, I mean, I’m sure you must have much better things to do with your Friday night than this?”
“Reyna, what exactly are you trying to say? Do you really think I would plan a date with another woman on tonight of all nights? That I’m thinking about someone else while I’m with you? That really doesn’t say much for your opinion of me, now does it?”
She turned back to Brody surprised once more by the anger so clearly visible in his blue eyes. He resented her intrusion into his private life.
“Do you really think I can’t take time out of my busy personal life to help a friend? I’m not sure I want to know what Cade told you about me. I do have other things that need my time other than going out with the countless women you seem to think I date. Somehow, I manage to find time for work and friends as well.” He smiled back at her and once more, all the anger in him disappeared. This was the Brody she knew and loved.
That smile alone could turn her day completely around. Brody made her feel special just by being close to him. She hated thinking about the time when they would no longer be this close.
Something a little too disturbing was happening to her. Reyna had this same out-of-control feeling every single time Brody looked at her the way he was now. If that smile was any indication, he was reading her reaction quite clearly. But then again, maybe Brody was used to women falling for him.
“And, as a matter of fact I do have plans for tonight,” he added very slowly. “I plan on taking you out to dinner. So don’t argue…please. Just say you’ll come.”
“Alright,” she told him slowly. “Yes, I’ll come.”
Reyna wondered if Brody thought it strange, she was sleeping in the guest bedroom instead of Cade’s.
He hadn’t said a word about it that night they spent here together. Maybe he just assumed it was less painful for her to sleep in another bedroom than the one he believed she had shared with her husband.
Brody took the boxes down to the truck insisting she wait in the apartment. She didn’t hear him return but she felt his presence and knew he would be watching her again as she looked around the apartment for the last time feeling nothing but a sense of relief. She would miss nothing about her life as Cade James’s wife. Nothing at all.
Especially not that final night.
On the night of his death, Cade had been high and looking for any excuse to argue. He’d started drinking the moment he walked into the apartment. The mixture of alcohol and drugs had a terrible effect on him.
Cade started pulling out drawers and tossing their contents across the room looking for the money he kept hidden around the apartment. When he couldn’t find it, he accused Reyna of taking it.
Cade was so much stronger than she was. He’d literally thrown her against the sharp edge of the kitchen counter. The pain in her side was so intense, that she had lost consciousness for a while.
When she awoke, Cade was gone, the door to the apartment was standing open, and the house was in total chaos.
Somehow, she’d found the strength to get up off the kitchen floor. Hours later, a police came to tell her about the accident.
Even today, three weeks later, she still carried the painful bruises on her body from that night.
“Come back to minute.” Brody’s voice quietly cut through the memories bringing her back to the moment. He was standing in the doorway watching her. Seeing things, she never wanted him to see.
“Are you sure you don’t want to keep any of the furniture? We could always put it in storage if you like. Someday, you may change your mind.”
“No. No, Brody, I will never change my mind. I don’t any of it. I don’t want anything to remind me of…” She stopped when she realized how close she’d come to telling him everything. The truth about just how sick Cade really was and what had happened in this very apartment the night of his death.
“I just can’t bear the constant reminder of what happened. It’s best if I leave this part of the past behind me.” She turned away from him before he saw through her lies. Brody knew she wasn’t telling him the truth. It was all there in his expression. He wasn’t going to press her just yet. One day, he would.
* * * *
Reyna had only been to Brody’s house on a couple of occasions. She and Cade had dinner there shortly after their marriage. It had been a night Reyna couldn’t forget. The first time she met Brody.
She still remembered Brody’s reaction when Cade introduced her as his wife. Like everyone else, he had been shocked Cade had chosen to marry someone like her. That had only been a few days after their wedding, back when she still believed marrying Cade had been the best thing to happen to her.
Had she been thinking clearly and not acting on her attraction to Cade James, it would have hit her that nobody got married after knowing someone for just one week.
She didn’t know a thing about Cade, other than he was gorgeous and had the most amazing manners. He was kind and attentive. That hadn’t lasted much longer than their first week of marriage and the night of Brody’s party
That night was her first real glimpse of Cade. The first time he’d hit her. The change in him shocked her. Gone was the sweet person she’d married. In his place was a man filled with rage. It wasn’t until weeks later that Reyna discovered the truth about Cade’s radical change in behavior. After that, Cade didn’t even try to hide the drugs from her. They were everywhere around the apartment. Soon after, Reyna had moved into the guest bedroom. He hadn’t tried to stop her, which only confirmed the truth. Her marriage was nothing more than a mistake.
Sometimes, Cade would come to her room simply to talk. During those times, he was almost like the man she’d married. But then, something would always happen to set him off and the abuse would start again.
Reyna believed Cade saw their marriage as just another failure in his life. He chose to ignore her for the most part, spending time with his friends. The ones who supplied the drugs he needed.
Now, sitting next to Brody as he maneuvered the truck through the heavy evening traffic, Reyna prayed this decision wouldn’t prove to be yet another mistake in what was becoming her life story as of late.
Brody’s house was two stories and beautifully decorated in rustic furnishing.
Very little had changed since Brody had shown her around the place months earlier. It was impeccably decorated to reflect Brody’s simple masculine tastes and no doubt cost a small fortune. There were three bedrooms, each with their own spectacular view of the Denver skyline.
Brody stood close by watching as she walked into the living room.
“You remember the house from when you and Cade were here before, don’t you, Reyna?” Suddenly and for no apparent reason, Reyna felt awkward being this close to him. She knew Brody had picked up on her uneasiness by the gentle way he spoke. “Why don’t you let me show you to your room? I’ve put you in the room next to mine. I thought you might feel more comfortable knowing I’m just next door to you in case you needed anything during the night.”
The room, like everything else about the house, was tastefully decorated with a queen-size sleigh bed dominating it.
“Oh, before I forget, I’ve left the extra key for you on the dresser, and there are extra keys to both the Jeep and truck in the table near the door. Feel free to use either of them any time you want. It’s sometimes better to have your own way around the city as opposed to depending on public transportation.”
Brody left her alone to get settled in but Reyna found she could do little more than stare out the window at the city lights.
She was exhausted all the way down to her soul, yet she couldn’t help but wonder if moving into Brody’s home, beyond the obvious trouble it posed to her willpower, was only taking the easy way out. She was leaning on him when she didn’t have that right.
Brody was her friend, that much was true, but the truth was just as clear. She was attracted to him. Had been attracted to him from the beginning. It was useless to deny it. She knew the truth, whatever that made her. How much longer would she be able to continue this charade of being the grieving widow? How long before Brody knew the truth and hated her for it?
* * * *
“Wake up. You can’t fall asleep here.” The sound of amusement in Brody’s voice brought her eyes open in an instant. She glanced across the table of the small Italian restaurant he’d taken her to in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m lousy company tonight.”
“You’re just tired is all. Why don’t we get out of here before I end up having to carry you out?” She had to fight hard to keep from showing him just how disturbing that image was to her. Brody paid the bill, and then took her hand as they left the restaurant.
Outside, the night had turned colder. There was just a hint of the winter to come in the air. The truck was brought around and Brody held the door open for her as she slid into the passenger seat. Reyna closed her eyes wanting only to climb into bed and sleep for days. The weight of Cade’s death had taken its toll on her. She was exhausted. Physically and emotionally drained.
“Reyna, wake up, love—we’re home now.” Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked around in surprise. She must have drifted off to sleep soon after they left the restaurant.
“I’m sorry. I don’t normally fall asleep at the drop of a hat.”
“You’ve been through a lot lately. More than most people could handle in a lifetime. You’re entitled. Cade’s death is finally starting to sink in, isn’t it? You know you keep things bottled up inside far too much, don’t you, Reyna? You need to let it out. Keeping your emotions inside isn’t good for you.” He closed the door and stood watching her once more. “You haven’t shown any real emotion since the night of Cade’s funeral. You’ve done everything possible to keep your feelings closed off. Why is that, Reyna? Why is it so hard for you to show your emotions? Do you think it makes you any more vulnerable than the rest of us? When you lose someone you love, you’re entitled to hurt. We all feel pain. You have to let that pain out in some way. Otherwise, it will destroy you.”
Reyna turned away, praying that Brody would never come to understand the truth. She hadn’t realized he’d noticed her lack of emotion following Cade’s death.
It was almost as if he were waiting, expecting her to fall apart at any moment. What would he say if he knew that the only emotion she felt capable of feeling toward Cade now was pity.
Reyna shook her head avoiding all the unasked questions in Brody’s eyes.
“You’re right, I am exhausted, and I think that I should go to bed. Thank you for dinner, for being there for me…for everything. You know you’re probably the only real friend I have. I would never have gotten through this without you, Brody. I don’t know if I can ever repay your kindness.”
* * * *
Reyna closed the bedroom door, completely missing the bitter regret that touched Brody’s eyes at her words.
She didn’t know just how little he wanted her thanks or how much it hurt to consider friendship only with her. He couldn’t tell her any of those things.
Cade was the love of her life. She believed she could never love or be loved by any other person in such an all-consuming way again.
At that moment, Brody almost hated Cade for being the one to make her feel that way.
Chapter Four
Reyna lay silently staring out the window, listening to the sounds coming from Brody’s room next d
oor. In this darkness of the unfamiliar room, everything felt alien. She’d never felt so alone.
She wondered for the countless time, how someone as compassionate and caring as Brody had managed to remain unattached for so long. Although Cade had been extremely jealous of Brody, he was still one of the few people in the world who Cade respected as well. Cade told her Brody dated some of the most beautiful, most desirable women in Denver and although he might choose to sleep with such women, he never planned to marry.
According to Cade, Brody had watched his father go through a bitter divorce when he was just a boy. His mother abandoned Brody after the divorce and ran away with the man she had destroyed her marriage for.
In the years following the divorce, she never once attempted to contact her son. Watching his father struggle with depression after the divorce had left Brody permanently scarred toward marriage.
Reyna lay sleepless, watching the lights of the city play across the room. The exhaustion from the weeks of living in fear seemed to have become a part of her, but still, it was almost impossible to sleep. When she did, Cade was never far from her, reaching out to her through her dreams.
It was always the same. Each time she dreamed of him, she was back at the apartment once more and he was hurting her, forcing her to go with him that night. She could almost feel the fear that overpowered her as the Mercedes sped through the red light into the blinding headlights of the oncoming car. She could hear the horrendous sound of metal against metal becoming a raging inferno. Reyna tried to free herself from the seatbelt, crying out for help just before the flames, hot and scorching, engulfed her body searing her skin. She could almost smell the burning flesh. She turned screaming in terror only to see Cade laughing through the raging curtain of flames, reaching out for her beyond his fiery grave to take her back with him. Her lungs filled with smoke and she began to struggle against him fighting to break free of his deathly grip, screaming in terror, forcing herself awake.
Reyna realized then it wasn’t Cade who held her but Brody. Brody was shaking her, trying to wake her from her nightmare.