Believe (Faith & Friendship Series)

by Jayne, S. L.

  James and Sydney had flown back to Texas the day after Christmas, it was a hard goodbye for Matt, and I was worried about how he was feeling after they left. We spoke for a while and then he reassured me he was fine. He said, “I’ll miss him. I know he was happy here to some extent, but I always knew he would retire and move back to Texas. Just means we get to visit there.” So I left it at that, but made sure he knew I was there for him if he needed to talk.

  Last week was New Year’s Eve, and we went out, finally. Our first night out since that night and it was amazing. The club we went to held a firework display from eleven thirty until midnight, which we watched from the balcony of the club. The night went smoothly, no arguments, no caveman moments, just happiness and laughter. At midnight, we all cheered and hugged. Matt scooped me up into his arms, squeezing me tight, before whispering, “I would say 2014 is going to be the best year ever, but 2013 was because that’s when your cute ass walked into my life.” Then he kissed me passionately, in front of everyone. If it wasn’t so deep and meaningful, I’d have blushed at our blatant PDA.

  ***

  “I get to arrange the whole thing! Can you believe it? It’s going to be ah-may-zing. You can help, too,” Ava said, excitedly.

  Collapsing on the couch after a long day at work, Ava couldn’t wait to get changed before telling me about Ryan’s company having their annual masquerade ball on Valentines weekend, which means Ava is in her element with all things head-in-the-clouds. Of course I’ll help her, that’s a given, but I don’t have an eye for romantic design- so I guess I’ll just be doing as she tells me that day.

  “No wonder Ryan has to send you sweet texts, shower you in flowers, and all things smelly and romantic. He probably thinks he’ll need to hire out Cinderella’s castle in Florida when you get married,” I laughed.

  She rolled her eyes at me, as usual. “Shut up, Ry, I know Matt is sweet with you, so don’t even try telling me you don’t like it. Ryan is amazing, he does all of those things and hasn’t once made it seem like a burden. He says he does it to show me I’m never out of his thoughts.”

  She’s right; Matt is sweet and gives me butterflies all the time. I do like it, but I’m not about to admit that to her, I’ll never live it down.

  I laughed. “Pass the sick bucket… I’m joking; he is sweet, really sweet. Matt is too, But he’s intense, and sometimes I’m not sure if he’s kidding or not. When we talked about going out, he said, “Well, they had better stay away from my girlfriend then,” I said, mimicking his deep voice.

  “He’s just showing he doesn’t want to lose you, Ry, don’t panic. I think it’s sweet the way he calls you his girlfriend. Ryan’s name for him is perfect,” she said, laughing.

  “Yeah, why does he call him bear?”

  “Because of how protective he is of you, a bear would kill a bitch for going near one of their own… but, on the other hand, we all saw how bad he had it for you, and how soft he is around you, like a bear cub- well, that’s what Ryan said anyway.”

  I shake my head, slightly. I’m still a little disappointed in myself for not seeing what they were seeing. But, I think it helped us; being friends first has given us that bond, and without that, I don’t think we would be as strong as we are. We may still have a few differences, but I will always fight for the real him, and fight against him if I need to for the sake of our relationship- I never thought I would ever do the fighting, but I know it’s worth it.

  “I don’t hold his protectiveness against him like I thought I would, hence the gift I bought him. I understand why he’s like he is. I just want him to believe he isn’t going to lose me.”

  “He’ll get there, just like you have. You’re amazing together and I truly believe the two of you can get through anything.”

  We continued talking through the evening, savouring some girly time away from the guys; they are having another poker night. I would be bored of that already, but it’s good to have a break sometimes, it gives you a chance to miss them. Not that I need a big chance, I always miss Matt when he isn’t around.

  “Okay, I’ll get the chocolate pretzels and the chips… you choose the movie,” I announced, standing to make my way to the kitchen.

  “All right, shall we try Paranormal Activity? I’ve been told it’s not actually that scary and that a lot of it is made up. I don’t know, I just think we should try it,” Ava called out.

  “Are you kidding? That’s a horror movie, Ava!”

  “Don’t be such a girl, Ry, if you get scared we’ll turn it off,” she said, laughing as she put the DVD in the player.

  “It’s okay for you; Ryan will be back here later. You practically live together.”

  “Don’t say that, he’s been hinting about that. But I don’t want to leave you, Ry,” she smiled, reassuring me yet again that she’s right there.

  I love this girl, hard. But I’m not about to let her put her life on hold for me.

  “Ava, please don’t tell me you’ve been putting off moving in with Ryan because of me… I’ll be okay on my own, I’m a big girl. I have the key to Matt’s place now, too, if I’m ever lonely I’ll go there. I want you to be happy and live your life for you, not live to keep me happy. As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy too,” I said, smiling back at her.

  “I know, and it’s not just you I’m worried about, it’s me too- I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Anyway, you and I are almost as close as Siamese twins, if I left you behind I’d feel lost.”

  “Let’s get the movie on before tears start falling,” I chuckled.

  I have no idea how far we are into this movie, but I’m already freaked out. I have my knees bent with my arms wrapped around them, and a cushion stuffed in the small space between my chest and knees- ready to hide my face when something happens; I know something is coming. I can see Ava in my peripheral vision, she’s sitting in the same position as me, but her head is much lower than mine, she’s shrinking in her seat. And she called me a girl?

  “What’s was that noise?” she whispered, turning to face me.

  I still, carefully listening for any sounds. “I can’t hear anything, it’s in your head because of the background music. Something is going to happen, and soon!” I warned her.

  “Shit… look! The baby… fuck!” Ava shouted.

  “Wait…” I whispered.

  We both stared at the screen, waiting for whatever was coming next. It’s one of those moments where you don’t want to watch, but you just can’t help yourself.

  And then it happened, the bit we were waiting for. Just as the woman is dragged out of the room, our front door bursts open and the room erupts with Ryan and Matt’s raised voices.

  “Arrrghhhh!” Ava and I both scream at the same time, she jumps up from the couch and quickly switches the DVD off.

  “HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK DON’T DO THAT!” I screamed at both guys, who are standing in the doorway, using the doorframe to hold them up.

  “What did we do?” Ryan looked at Matt, confused.

  “Hell if I know,” he shrugged, then starting walking over to me. “Baby… beautiful, I missed you… couldn’t see you,” he slurred, clearly missing some words from his lame attempt at forming a sentence.

  “You scared us, we were watching Paranormal Activity.”

  He threw himself down next to me and pulled me into his lap. “I didn’t scare you, baby, I’d do that to you,” I can smell the Jack Daniels on his breath, which mixed with his usual scent makes him smell lethal.

  “I think you meant, you’d never do that to me.”

  “That’s what I said,” he looked at me like I was going crazy.

  “Sure you did, bad boy,” I laughed.

  Ryan staggered into the kitchen, probably looking for more beer. Ava walked over to us, laughing. “We could probably get these two to agree to anything right now.”

  “I don’t know if I can perform tonight, but we can have fun trying,” Matt said, looking at Ava.

  “You’re telli
ng the wrong girl, Winks,” Ava said, making us both burst out laughing.

  “Have you heard a princess moan before?” he smirked.

  Jumping up from his lap I grab his hand, trying to pull him to his feet.

  I shake my head, laughing. “Don’t answer that, Ava, you’ll only encourage him. Come on, bad boy, it’s bed time.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Wake up, sleepyhead, I need to get up for work,” I whispered, nudging Matt.

  He is draped over me, his arm weighing down across my chest and one leg over mine. I trace my finger over the vines that are wrapped around the angel feathers on his forearm tattoo. This is my favorite tattoo of his; it’s the only one that I’m drawn to, I think it has a meaning behind it.

  “Having fun with my tatts?” he mumbled, sleepily. He didn’t move his arm away; instead he wrapped it around me tighter.

  “I like this one… well, I like them all, but this one is the prettiest.”

  He lifted his head to look at me. “Prettiest… are you trying to emasculate me?” he smirked.

  I laughed at his question. “Like that could ever happen! Your ego wouldn’t allow it.”

  “Shhh, easy on laughing so loud, I’m tender headed over here.” He buried his head into the crook of my arm.

  “Self-inflicted, gorgeous,” I joked, rubbing my hand over his head, showing a small amount of sympathy. “I need to get showered and ready for work.”

  “A shower sounds good. I think we should shower together and then you can fake a headache, call work and tell Max you’re unwell. Then spend the day in bed with me, I can make you forget all about the little white lie.” The mattress dipped as he moved to lean over me, using his arms to keep his weight off my chest.

  “I don’t doubt that, you can make me forget my own name around you. But, I have to go, I can’t bail on Ava, we’re going to lunch together to talk about the ball. You know what she’s like once her head is up Cupid’s ass,” I laughed. Looking up at him, I pucker my lips, hinting for a kiss.

  He ignored it, lowering his head to my neck instead, knowing this is the best place to start if he wants his own way. I sighed, moving my head to side, giving his roaming lips full access. He kissed, nibbled and gently sucked on my neck, making me feel like I’m floating. I am useless at keeping control around him.

  “Matt… I need to-”

  He kissed me, stopping me mid-sentence. My mouth opened for him, instinctively.

  “I need you. I want you, baby,” he said between kisses.

  I forgot all about needing to get ready for work. I gave in, letting him have me. My need for him became as urgent as his need for me. We both discarded what little clothing we had on as he continued his assault on my mouth. He rested up on his knees, giving me full view of his impressive body, perfect v lines, defined muscles, and hot tattoos. I’m sure guys who look like him get paid to strip for magazines.

  “I’m all yours, babe,” I whispered, unsure if it was loud enough for him to hear.

  Telling him I’m all his is giving him the power to own me, but trusting him not to make me feel owned in the way I can’t handle.

  His hands find my hair, threading his fingers through it as he kisses me deeply, grinding his body against mine.

  “Damn, I’ve waited to hear those words for months. You are the one thing in this world that I crave the most,” he said, breathlessly.

  I really do consider myself the luckiest girl in the world, not just because I have a heart stopping, gorgeous boyfriend or that I get to have him all to myself, but because he’s not like any other guy I have met. Ever. We are each other’s hunger; I need him as much as he needs me.

  ***

  “You are the worst kind of best friend, Ry!” Ava laughed. “You play hooky from work, and then arrive to lunch thirty minutes late… all because you couldn’t tear yourself away from Mr-I’m-too-drool-worthy!”

  She’s right, not about me being the worst kind of friend, but the rest was spot on. I skipped work to stay in bed with Matt. He made it impossible for me to want to leave, not that it was a hardship to stay- I’d have stayed just to hear his voice all day. Yes, he has that much of an effect on me. When I was finally allowed to leave the bed, I was only allowed as far as the bathroom for a shower. He had wanted to join me in there, but I said no, I wanted to be able to walk for the rest of the day, so I promised he could join me next time. After a short while, Matt said he had somewhere to be, so we both got ready and left the house. I joined Ava and Aimee at The Waffle Stop, our usual lunch spot on a work day.

  I laughed along with Ava, remembering her name for Matt from when we didn’t know his name. That feels so long ago.

  “Shut up, Ava! You would have done the same if Ryan offered a morning of pure pleasure and euphoric bliss.”

  “Oh, I don’t blame you, sweetie. I’m actually ready to happy dance, because you finally know how it feels,” she said, with a smug smile.

  “Please don’t, we’ll get some pretty strange looks from people if you start busting some moves with invisible pom-poms.” I looked at the tables around us, filled with people. There is a good fifty people out here, not to mention the people inside the café.

  “She has a point, Ava. I can do without being in the limelight or ending up on YouTube with a video titled, ‘Crazy chick randomly happy dances over her best friends sex life’… that would be embarrassing,” Aimee chimed in.

  I hear my phone beep in my purse. Tuning out Ava and Aimee’s conversation, I pull my cell out and see Matt’s name. It says he has sent me an image; I open the message and see his gorgeous, smiling face. I can’t believe he actually took a selfie, standing in front of a motorcycle, and sent it to me. I’m a little bummed that he hasn’t taken me with him. I’d have been in my element watching him hop from one bike to another. Even better if he did it shirtless.

  Oh God, I’m turning into Ava.

  Me: Firstly, you would look hot on that. Secondly, I can’t believe you’re looking at bikes without me. I may not be able to help, but it would be fun to come with you.

  I don’t have to wait long for his reply.

  Matt: I look hot when I’m on you, too. And don’t worry, Princess, you can come with me anytime ;)

  I blush reading his message, knowing exactly what he meant.

  Me: Don’t ever moan when I call you bad boy again!

  Matt: Oh, baby… I could be really bad right now, but I’ll be good because I know you’re blushing. Say hi to Ava and Aimee for me ;)

  I smile at his message, thinking about him being bad.

  Me: Oh, you’re too kind! Haha. I will. Miss you xx

  Matt: Miss you more xx

  I tucked my cell back in to my purse. Looking up at Ava and Aimee, I see them staring at me.

  Raising my eyebrows in question, I wait for them to say something. I don’t have to wait long, because Ava can’t help herself.

  “Share? We know something hot happened on those messages, it’s written all over your face… in red!” she laughed, looking at Aimee who is now laughing so hard she can barely catch her breath.

  “I’m not sharing anything, much less anything that Matt says,” I smirked and shook my head. “Anyway, enough talking about my man. What’s happening with the ball?”

  Aimee and I both simultaneously shook our heads when Ava beamed at my question; she looks ready to burst with excitement.

  “I’m thinking, a black and silver color scheme for clothing, and that leaves red for decorations. I want twinkle lights on the ceiling with drapes underneath them, so the lights can be seen through the sheer material… you know? Does that make sense to you guys?” she asked, continuing to speak before we could answer her.

  “On the tables, there will be black glass bowls, filled with water and have roses floating on the top. Which reminds me, I’ll need to order fresh ones to be delivered on the day. I’m hoping they’ll let me have one wall mirrored, because it would be amazing to be able to see yourself dance with your par
tner. I also want a buffet area, and a stage for the band… what do you think?” she asked, smiling wide.

  I smiled back at her. “It sounds stunning, Ava. They have left it in the hands of the best possible person for the job! I can’t wait to go,” I said, honestly. I really am looking forward to it.

  “I agree with Rylee, it’s going to look amazing. We need to go dress shopping!” Aimee added.

  “Don’t forget the ladies night that Ryan and Matt are planning. Do you know when that is?” I asked Ava.

  “I think it’s actually on Valentine’s Day. Ryan mentioned Matt having something planned at the bar, he thinks it’s all happening in one evening. I asked him if he has invited Adam yet, he said he has and is waiting for him to get back to him about getting time off work,” Ava replied, shrugging.

  “Oh, joy! He’ll want to bring Josh and Lewis, you know, because God forbid the three amigo’s get separated,” I laughed.

  Aimee practically jumped out her seat, squealing. “Yes! I’ll get to meet the infamous Adam… finally.”

  Ava and I laughed at her excitement. We can’t blame her for being slightly intrigued after hearing so much about him. Checking the time, I see it’s past lunch time and the girls will need to get back to work.

  “I’m heading home, girls, have fun at work!” I announced, picking up my car keys from the table and grabbing my purse.

  “She’s going for round two,” Ava shouted a little too loudly.

  I heard a couple of gasps from the snobby looking girls sitting at the table next to ours.

  I laughed, catching their attention before shouting. “Make that round four! See you later, girls,” I chuckled, making my way to my car.

  Turning into our street, I see Matt’s car outside my apartment. The butterflies in my stomach suddenly burst to life, knowing he’s inside waiting for me. Putting my car into park, I jump out and dash inside to see him.