* * *
“I don’t blame you for being upset,” Joe’s mother said.
His mother. He could barely wrap his mind around the concept. “You don’t blame me? You really want to play the blame game? Because I’m going to win, hands down.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“What do you want?”
“Just to talk.”
How many times had he imagined this moment as a child? How many hours had he spent sitting on the living room couch, staring out the front window, hoping she would come walking down the street? He would watch for her whenever he was in town with his dad, or playing on the monkey bars at the park. Occasionally he would see the unfamiliar face of someone just passing through town, one that resembled the handful of photos his father had given him, and his heart would leap up in his throat and he would pray that this time it was her, but it never had been. How many hours he had wasted thinking about her, wishing she would come home? Now she was here and he just wanted her to go away.
“What could you possibly have to say to me after all this time?” he asked.
She took a deep breath, exhaled slowly. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’d just like the chance to get to know you. You and your family. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I have more regrets than you can possibly imagine.”
“My heart bleeds for you.”
“Your daughter is adorable, and your wife is very pretty.”
He didn’t bother correcting her, nor did he want Reily to. His life was none of this woman’s business. He turned to Reily, or at least where Reily had been standing a few minutes ago, only to find that she was gone. She must have gone up to her apartment. Not that he blamed her in the least for bailing. He would have done the same if the situation were reversed.
“I don’t know what it is you hope to accomplish showing up out of the blue like this, but let’s get something clear. I don’t know you, and I don’t want to know you, so go back to wherever you came from and leave us alone.”
“I was sick,” she said.
Considering her short hair and frail appearance, his guess would be cancer.
“I’m okay now, but…” She paused as if waiting for a reply.
It wasn’t in his nature to be cold and uncaring, but for her he would make an exception. She hadn’t done a single thing to earn his sympathy.
“I’m staying at the Sunrise Motel. And I’ll stay there until you’re ready to talk. As long as it takes.”
“Well, have fun with that.” He turned his back on her—just as she had done to him thirty years ago—and walked up the driveway to the back door, realizing, as he reached for the handle, that his fists were clenched so tight his nails cut into his palms and his fingers ached.
Aunt Sue was standing in the kitchen, looking shaken and drinking a glass of what he guessed was her famous hard lemonade.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“To be honest, I’m not sure exactly how I feel. For all I knew, she could have been dead. In a way, maybe I liked to believe that she was. It was easier to pretend that than to accept that she just didn’t want to see me.”
“And now that she does? Now that she’s here?”
“It’s too late.”
She nodded solemnly as if she completely understood. “I won’t lie to you. I tried to get her to leave. She stayed away this long, I thought I could persuade her to stay gone. Dealing with that woman is the last thing you need right now.”
She protected him the same way he protected Lily Ann. “I guess you couldn’t.”
She shook her head. “She was determined to talk to you.”
“Well, she didn’t get what she wanted.”
“And she just gave up?”
If only. “She’s staying at the Sunrise. She said she’ll stay there until I’m ready to talk.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I have nothing to say to her.”
“She tried to pump me for information. Asked what you’re doing now, if you’re married. I didn’t tell her anything. So I guess when she saw you with Lily Ann and Reily she just assumed you were a family. She didn’t know your dad was dead either. When I told her, she looked very sad. I’m not sure why, since she hadn’t even cared enough to stick around.”
“She said that she was sick, but she’s okay now.”
“I thought she looked awfully thin, and very old considering she’s barely fifty. At first I didn’t even recognize her. I could swear she had some work done on her face. I can’t say what exactly. She just looks…different.”
“I hope she didn’t upset Lily Ann,” Joe said, noting that he didn’t hear the television from the living room.
“She seemed fine.”
“Where is she?”
“Upstairs. She wanted Reily to tuck her in.”
“Reily is here?” He thought for sure she’d gone up to her apartment.
“She told me she promised to sing to Lily Ann, and of course Lily Ann was thrilled.” She looked up at Joe with that telltale twinkle in her eyes. “She’s really taken with Reily, isn’t she?”
“Aunt Sue—”
“Oh, don’t go getting all defensive. I just think it’s sweet, that’s all. Emily is good to her, but she’s never been what you could call maternal. I think it’s nice that she has someone like Reily around.”
The only problem was that Reily wasn’t sticking around.
“I’m going to head upstairs,” he said. “You can go home.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine.” At her look of disbelief he added, “Okay, not fine, but I’m not on the ledge either.”
“All right, but you call if you need me.”
“I will.”
After she left he walked upstairs, hearing the soft strum of Reily’s guitar from Lily Ann’s bedroom. Not wanting to disturb them, he stopped in the hallway just outside her door and leaned against the wall to listen. He didn’t recognize the melody, but it was soft and soothing. Then Reily started to sing and his heart climbed up into his throat.
She had the voice of an angel.
It was soft and sweet and hauntingly beautiful. He stood there in the hall listening until the song ended, the last chords still lingering in the air, then he stepped into Lily Ann’s doorway. Reily sat on the edge of his daughter’s bed, her guitar in her lap, and Lily Ann lay curled up with her favorite baby doll, her lids heavy, hovering on the cusp between sleep and being awake. When she saw him standing there she gave him a sleepy smile. “Hi, Daddy. Is the bad lady gone?”
Reily met his gaze with a look so drenched in sympathy he wanted to cringe.
“She’s not a bad lady. Just a stranger. And yes, she’s gone,” he told Lily Ann. “And it’s time for you to go to sleep.”
“Thanks for singing to me, Reily. Could you do it again tomorrow night?”
Reily smiled down at her. “I have to work, but I have Wednesday night off. How about then?”
“Okay,” Lily Ann said, holding out her arms. “Hugs.”
Reily propped her guitar against the side of the mattress and gave Lily Ann a hug. “Sweet dreams, sweet girl.”
“’Night, Daddy,” Lily Ann said sleepily, her eyes already drifting closed. Joe gave his daughter a kiss good-night, then he and Reily walked out.
“Are you okay?” she whispered as he shut Lily Ann’s door. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Talking was the last thing he felt like doing. He gestured down the hall, toward his bedroom, and she followed him there. When they were inside, he gently closed the door and pushed in the lock, then he turned to her. In the dim light from the bedside lamp, she looked like an angel, too. One who had come to save him, to show him how to feel like a whole man again. Because it had been too damned l
ong.
“I’m sorry I didn’t stay out there with you,” she said softly, guilt in her eyes. “The truth is, I didn’t know what to do. It was a private moment. But then I felt bad just abandoning you like that.”
“It’s okay.” He took her guitar from her and propped it against the chest of drawers.
“Sue told me that she left when you were a baby. It must have been a shock to see her after all this time.”
“To be honest, I really don’t want to talk about it.”
She looked around the bedroom, confused. “Then why are we in here?”
“For this,” he said, then he slid his arms around her, drew her against him and kissed her.
Chapter Ten
Good heavens, did the man know how to kiss.
Reily tried to fight it. Really, she did. She knew Joe was only reacting to the emotions of the moment, that he didn’t really mean to kiss her. This was just his way of reasserting his authority, of feeling power over a situation where he was powerless. And since he didn’t seem inclined to slam on the brakes this time, she knew that she should. She needed to tell him to stop. But then he slid one hand up to caress her cheek while the other settled on her behind, and the feeling was so erotic, the only sound she could manage was a moan.
Joe took that as encouragement and kissed her even deeper, pulling her closer, so that she was tucked firmly against the length of his body. There was no mistaking the fact that he was just as turned on as she was. She had never been more excited, or confused or terrified, at the thought of being with a man. Never had there been so much at stake. She’d always kept her relationships casual, and up until now that had been pretty easy. With Joe it was different. He was everything she could possibly want in a man, and it would be so easy to fall in love with him. So effortless. Hell, she was already halfway there. But she simply couldn’t fall in love with him. It wouldn’t be fair for anyone.
So why were her arms sliding up around his shoulders? Her fingers tangling through his hair? Why was she leaning in closer, wrapping herself around him when she should have been letting go? Then her feet were moving, mirroring Joe’s steps across the room. Her calves hit the bed, and the next thing she knew they were tumbling backward onto the mattress.
He rolled her over onto her back, his weight pressing her into the softness of the comforter. Then his hand was under her shirt, burning a hot trail of pleasure against her stomach as he slid it upward, and though she knew it was coming, when his fingers brushed the cup of her bra, she sucked in a surprised breath.
Being the cautious and conscientious man that he was, she expected him to pause, to ask her if she was okay and if she wanted to stop. Instead her reaction seemed to fuel his desire. He ravaged her mouth, cupping her breast in his palm, sliding his thigh between hers and pressing intimately. Without her consent, her body arched upward and another moan worked its way into her throat. And though she didn’t mean to do it, her hands fisted his shirt, tugging it from the waist of his pants.
She had anticipated this moment, fantasized about touching Joe so many times, it was hard to believe it was really happening. When she finally put her hands on him, slid her palms across the warm, bare skin of his back, it felt so good she could have cried.
What was she doing? She had to remember Lily Ann and Sue and everyone else who would be hurt when the time came for her to leave. She had to stop this now, before it was too late, before they couldn’t stop.
She turned her head, breaking the kiss. “We can’t do this, Joe.”
“Yes, we can,” he said, trailing kisses down the side of her neck, his mouth hot on her skin. “I want to.”
“Think about what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it.”
He stopped kissing her neck, lifted his head and looked down at her. A pained expression settled on his face, then he dropped his head on her shoulder and exhaled a deep, shuddering breath. He rolled onto his back beside her and said, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
She was both relieved and disappointed. He could have been like so many other men, said the hell with it and kept going. The fact that he hadn’t made her want him that much more.
“I’m not sorry,” she told him. “Not at all.”
He looked over at her. “No?”
She pushed up on her elbow. “But I also know that if we let this happen, things are going to get really confusing. And complicated. You can’t deny that if your mom hadn’t shown up, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“She isn’t my mom. She’s the woman who just happened to give birth to me.”
“Why did she come back?”
He pushed himself up off the bed and, just like that, the shutters on his feelings banged closed again. “I don’t know and I don’t care.”
Of course he cared. Two of the most important women in his life, his mom and his wife, had bailed on him, and now one of them was back. He needed to talk it out, work through his feelings, but it wasn’t going to be easy to get him to open up.
She sat up, straightening her shirt. “It’s such a pretty night. Why don’t we go sit on the porch swing?”
He narrowed his eyes at her, as though he suspected she was up to something.
She stood. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I don’t feel like talking.”
She shrugged. “Fine, then we won’t talk. But I sure could go for a glass of Sue’s hard lemonade. I don’t suppose you know how to make it.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “I might.”
“Great!” She walked around the bed, giving him a wide berth just in case, and grabbed her guitar. “I’m going to take this home really quick, then I’ll meet you on the porch.”
“But we aren’t going to talk.”
“We can sit in total silence if that’s what you want.” She reached for the doorknob. As she turned it, the lock popped. Meaning he’d had every intention of taking their relationship to the next level, and if she hadn’t told him no, they would both probably be naked by now.
Oh, boy.
Her heart wiggled its way up into her throat. She could stop right now and turn around. She could slide her arms around his neck, press her body to his, and she would probably be on her back, pinned to the mattress in seconds flat.
She imagined what that would be like, how his body would feel against hers, what it would be like to make love to him, and she started getting excited all over again.
Bad Reily.
“See you in a few minutes,” she said cheerfully to hide the lust seeping into her voice, keeping her back to him so he wouldn’t see the deep blush that burned her cheeks. Then before she could even think about changing her mind she hightailed it down the stairs, out the back door and across the driveway.
The faintest hint of amber sunset lit the night sky and a soft, cool breeze stirred the hot air. Crickets chirped, and from a house down the street Reily could hear the playful shrieks and laughter of kids still goofing around outside. Reily headed up to her apartment and laid her guitar across the bed. She hadn’t had a chance to really look it over, but there seemed to be no damage. Though it had been miserably out of tune, it still played as well as before. She would have to get a case as soon as possible, which might mean taking a bus to Denver to find one.
Reily stopped in the bathroom, grimacing at her reflection. Her ponytail was a little cockeyed and her eyeliner smeared, but she resisted the urge to fix it. And she ignored the tube of lip gloss laying on the bathroom sink. For now it might be better if she kept herself as unattractive as possible. She didn’t completely trust herself. And, despite thinking Joe had enough resolve for the both of them, that obviously wasn’t the case.
By the time she made it back downstairs and to the front porch, Joe was sitting there, gently swinging, a drink in each hand. He’d changed out of
the chocolate-stained shirt and into a faded Joe’s Place T-shirt and his feet were bare.
“Beautiful night,” she said, sitting down beside him.
“Cooling off,” he observed, handing her one of the glasses.
She sipped her drink. “I’ll be able to sleep with the windows open tonight.”
He nodded. “Supposed to be another hot one tomorrow, though.”
“I heard that.”
Ugh. Is this what they had been reduced to? Talking about the weather? Well, at least he was talking about something, which sure beat sitting there in awkward silence.
“I think I might put in a pool,” Joe said.
“That sounds fun. And you certainly have the room for it.”
“Lily Ann’s best friend has one and she’s been bugging me relentlessly all summer that we need one, too.”
“Above, or inground?”
“I’m thinking inground.”
“Sounds nice.” And expensive, but she had the feeling he made a pretty good living.
Joe sipped his lemonade, gazing up at the night sky. “Lots of stars tonight.”
She nodded. “Yep.”
He was quiet for a minute or two, gently rocking the swing, forward and back, with one bare foot. Then out of the blue he said, “She told me that she was sick but she’s okay now. And she just wants to talk.”
It actually took a second to realize that he was referring to his mother. She knew that if she were patient and didn’t push the issue he would eventually open up, but she hadn’t expected it to happen quite so fast.
“You don’t believe her?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “More like I don’t care.”
No, he did, or he wouldn’t have brought it up. How could he not? She may have abandoned him, but she was still his mother. His flesh and blood. He had to be curious.
“So she left?”
“She said she’s going to stay at the Sunrise until I’m ready to talk.”
“She sounds determined.”
“Well, so am I.”
No Ordinary Joe Page 11